Collarspace Discussion Forums


Home  Login  Search 

Preferences based on aesthetics


View related threads: (in this forum | in all forums)

Logged in as: Guest
 
All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> General BDSM Discussion >> Preferences based on aesthetics Page: [1] 2   next >   >>
Login
Message << Older Topic   Newer Topic >>
Preferences based on aesthetics - 6/29/2010 10:55:42 PM   
Ligeia72


Posts: 126
Joined: 6/29/2010
Status: offline 		Not sure If I'm going to be able to word this correctly, but does anyone else find their play preferences at least partly determined by what they find most aesthetically pleasing, as opposed to, or in conjuction with the sensations the play will create? For example, with impact play I prefer to use a flogger not only for the sensation I want to inflict, but because that's what I like to see/watch visually. Do you think being aesthetically orientated within a scene (for want of a better term) can enhance or limit a scene. Does it change for you depending on whether you're Topping or Bottoming?
Profile   Post #: 1
RE: Preferences based on aesthetics - 6/29/2010 10:59:35 PM   
DarlingSavage


Posts: 2808
Joined: 9/18/2009
Status: offline 		I do!   And I strive to make myself aesthetically pleasing!  some people find this abhorrent behaviour, but I do not!

_____________________________

<-- Easily amused.
<-- Easily impressed.

Strangers have the BEST candy!

Puppy dogs are my favorite people!


(in reply to Ligeia72)
Profile   Post #: 2
RE: Preferences based on aesthetics - 6/29/2010 11:02:30 PM   
WyldHrt


Posts: 6412
Joined: 6/5/2008
Status: offline 		Good question! (I knew I was gonna like you)
As a sub/bottom, I don't always get to see what is being used, but there are some toys in my bag that I love (mostly the ones I made). Seeing those in the hands of the person topping me definitely gives me a rush!
OK, sometimes it gives me a "WTF was I thinking when I made that thing" moment, but still!



_____________________________

"MotherFUCKER!" is NOT a safeword!!"- Steel
"We've had complaints about 'orgy noises'. This is not the neighborhood for that kind of thing"- PVE Cop

Resident "Hypnotic Eyes", "Cleavage" and "Toy Whore"
Subby Mafia, VAA Posse & Team Troll!

(in reply to Ligeia72)
Profile   Post #: 3
RE: Preferences based on aesthetics - 6/29/2010 11:06:38 PM   
Ligeia72


Posts: 126
Joined: 6/29/2010
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: WyldHrt

Good question! (I knew I was gonna like you)
As a sub/bottom, I don't always get to see what is being used, but there are some toys in my bag that I love (mostly the ones I made). Seeing those in the hands of the person topping me definitely gives me a rush!
OK, sometimes it gives me a "WTF was I thinking when I made that thing" moment, but still!




Yes, definitely. I tend to Top more than Bottom, but I love that wicked little glint in a sub/bottom's eyes when you're wielding something and they're like 'Ooh, nice'

As I said in my introduction, I am more into the S&M aspect of BDSM and enjoy inflicting (and occasionally receiving) heightened sensations on people. I think the aesthetic aspect goes hand in hand with that. I enjoy setting the scene in such a way that it heightens the bottom's emotional/physical sensation.


(in reply to WyldHrt)
Profile   Post #: 4
RE: Preferences based on aesthetics - 6/29/2010 11:09:32 PM   
WinsomeDefiance


Posts: 6719
Joined: 8/7/2007
Status: offline 		Yes, definitely. But even more than the visual, I like the sounds and the scents and the physical reponse cues. I have usde a lot of contrasting items/sensations when I topped. But it started with setting the scene to be visually pleasing or intimidating - depending on my mood.

(in reply to DarlingSavage)
Profile   Post #: 5
RE: Preferences based on aesthetics - 6/29/2010 11:36:29 PM   
MadameHcalls


Posts: 14
Joined: 12/9/2008
Status: offline 		+Shifting this message to another user name...

< Message edited by MadameHcalls -- 6/29/2010 11:39:52 PM >

(in reply to Ligeia72)
Profile   Post #: 6
RE: Preferences based on aesthetics - 6/29/2010 11:42:28 PM   
MadameMarque


Posts: 1128
Joined: 3/19/2005
Status: offline 		Of course, one's aesthetic is integral to their experience of a scene - it *is*, in part, the experience.

You say it like there's something lesser about that - ?

What are you doing a scene for, if not for each person's enjoyment, fulfillment, satisfaction? Our visceral experience is valuable, of itself. How it looks, feels, sounds, smells, tastes - those are also tied directly to our experience on other levels - it's not separate. The physical, the emotional, the spiritual, the energetic - they're not separate.

The aesthetic of the scene is like the experiential 'language', translating what's inside into a worldly experience that expresses what's inside, and fulfills it.

(in reply to Ligeia72)
Profile   Post #: 7
RE: Preferences based on aesthetics - 6/29/2010 11:46:23 PM   
Ligeia72


Posts: 126
Joined: 6/29/2010
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: WinsomeDefiance

Yes, definitely. But even more than the visual, I like the sounds and the scents and the physical reponse cues. I have usde a lot of contrasting items/sensations when I topped. But it started with setting the scene to be visually pleasing or intimidating - depending on my mood.


In a Top situation do you think paying attention to details like that, setting the scene, sights, sounds, and scents etc is more of a Service Top thing, or does it depend on the dynamics (ie who you're setting the scene for, yourself or the bottom?)

Personally I guess I would be considered more of a service Top, because what I do/prefer to do is always to please the bottom - but then again by pleasing the bottom, I'm also serving myself because that's what I get pleasure out of. For me I suppose I'd consider it more of a two way thing. I like setting the scene, etc for the benefit of the bottom, but then in turn that benefits me because the bottom will be getting off on it more (hopefully).

(in reply to WinsomeDefiance)
Profile   Post #: 8
RE: Preferences based on aesthetics - 6/29/2010 11:52:12 PM   
Ligeia72


Posts: 126
Joined: 6/29/2010
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: MadameMarque

You say it like there's something lesser about that - ?



Oh sorry, I didn't meant to give that impression. I was just curious to hear other's inputs about the aesthetics of a scene; how much it matters to them, whether or not they feel having certain aesthetic preferences themselves puts a limit on a scene, and so on. I didn't mean to imply there was anything inherently better or worse about the way someone plays or sets a scene.

(in reply to MadameMarque)
Profile   Post #: 9
RE: Preferences based on aesthetics - 6/30/2010 12:03:01 AM   
MadameMarque


Posts: 1128
Joined: 3/19/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Ligeia72


quote:

ORIGINAL: MadameMarque

You say it like there's something lesser about that - ?



Oh sorry, I didn't meant to give that impression. I was just curious to hear other's inputs about the aesthetics of a scene; how much it matters to them, whether or not they feel having certain aesthetic preferences themselves puts a limit on a scene, and so on. I didn't mean to imply there was anything inherently better or worse about the way someone plays or sets a scene.


Ah! And I wasn't thinking you were judging anyone's way. I just got the impresson you were talking about sort of 'admitting' to placing some importance on aesthetic concerns, so I think I misunderstood the thrust of that. My oops, and thanks for clarifying.

(in reply to Ligeia72)
Profile   Post #: 10
RE: Preferences based on aesthetics - 6/30/2010 12:10:40 AM   
Ligeia72


Posts: 126
Joined: 6/29/2010
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: MadameMarque

Ah! And I wasn't thinking you were judging anyone's way. I just got the impresson you were talking about sort of 'admitting' to placing some importance on aesthetic concerns, so I think I misunderstood the thrust of that. My oops, and thanks for clarifying.


No worries, glad I was able to clarify.

(in reply to MadameMarque)
Profile   Post #: 11
RE: Preferences based on aesthetics - 6/30/2010 12:38:12 AM   
BitaTruble


Posts: 9779
Joined: 1/12/2006
From: Texas
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Ligeia72

Not sure If I'm going to be able to word this correctly, but does anyone else find their play preferences at least partly determined by what they find most aesthetically pleasing, as opposed to, or in conjuction with the sensations the play will create? For example, with impact play I prefer to use a flogger not only for the sensation I want to inflict, but because that's what I like to see/watch visually. Do you think being aesthetically orientated within a scene (for want of a better term) can enhance or limit a scene. Does it change for you depending on whether you're Topping or Bottoming?


I really like this question. BDSM for me is *all* about the pleasure derived from the play and each of the senses is part of that so visual definitely has its place in the grand scheme when I top. As a bottom, I enjoy it when one or more of the senses are cut off as well. It forces my attention to focus on what is available so if I am wearing ear plugs and a blindfold, there is less dispersal to contend with so that the olfactory and touch sensations are heightened. On occasion Himself and I (or I may do with this with a play partner) will cut off all the sensations but taste (and touch which is just too difficult to cut out completely). There is something delicious about sitting tied to a chair, ear/nose plugs and blindfold in place being fed by your partner and never sure if the next taste is going to be chocolate, a tart lemon or an onion! On the top side, I enjoy the facial expressions of the bottom in that experience and as a bottom, I just like the surprise. Works all around for me. :D

_____________________________

"Oh, so it's just like
Rock, paper, scissors."

He laughed. "You are the wisest woman I know."


(in reply to Ligeia72)
Profile   Post #: 12
RE: Preferences based on aesthetics - 6/30/2010 12:40:50 AM   
VaguelyCurious


Posts: 5264
Joined: 12/2/2009
From: United Kingdom
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Ligeia72

Do you think being aesthetically orientated within a scene (for want of a better term) can enhance or limit a scene.
For sure-give me clothespegs or wax or a rubber band and I just want to make pretty patterns aaaaaaaaall day


_____________________________

Sthetic on FetLife.




(in reply to Ligeia72)
Profile   Post #: 13
RE: Preferences based on aesthetics - 6/30/2010 12:46:03 AM   
Ligeia72


Posts: 126
Joined: 6/29/2010
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: VaguelyCurious

For sure-give me clothespegs or wax or a rubber band and I just want to make pretty patterns aaaaaaaaall day



Hah! yeah definitely, same here - except with needles instead. I love the look of needles/play piercings when they're placed in a pattern, or enhanced with ribbons, and so on. Fun stuff.


(in reply to VaguelyCurious)
Profile   Post #: 14
RE: Preferences based on aesthetics - 6/30/2010 12:48:40 AM   
LanceHughes


Posts: 4737
Joined: 2/12/2004
Status: offline 		Once the scene "gets going" I find that esthetics disappear along with the rest of the world.  I say "The walls dissolve," but that's not exactly true.  There is nothing visual except the toy and the boy.  I stay focused on the bottom's body language, breathing, eye dialation, etc.  All the "reading of the bottom" that lets me know where we are "going" and how fast.

"Setting" the scene is not important to me.  Had one bottom, played with regularly.  He got into the habit of laying out the toys.  Said it got him started into sub-space, he'd lay out ropes, floggers, hand-cuffs in a beautiful way, reminded me of the nurse laying out the surgeon's tools..... sometimes there were clues as to what he was interested in that session.

Some things can prevent me from getting into head-space.  Incense is a no-no.  Just can't get there.  Too loud of music also prevents me from strating into a session.  But once I've begun, music is not a distraction.  It falls away.  People will say, "Good beating beat to that music.  Do you agree?"  I'll look at them and in all honesty say, "There was music?"  I might have kept beat, but the sound didn't register.

If asthetics include room-temperature..... again, can't start while cold, but too hot is the same.  But, once started, crank up the heat, Nellie.  I like to work up a sweat while playing.  Denver has been unseasonally warm (so far) and I like taking anude boy to a deserted alley, cutting a switch, and going at him in the dark and steamy heat.

Er....... excuse me, please.  I have to go take care of a, um...... personal matter that just came up.

_____________________________

"Train 'em the right way - my way." Lance Hughes
"Advice is what we ask for when we already know the answer, but wish we didn't." Erica Jong

10 fluffy points
50 nz points

Member: VAA's posse

(in reply to Ligeia72)
Profile   Post #: 15
RE: Preferences based on aesthetics - 6/30/2010 12:49:45 AM   
VaguelyCurious


Posts: 5264
Joined: 12/2/2009
From: United Kingdom
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Ligeia72


quote:

ORIGINAL: VaguelyCurious

For sure-give me clothespegs or wax or a rubber band and I just want to make pretty patterns aaaaaaaaall day



Hah! yeah definitely, same here - except with needles instead. I love the look of needles/play piercings when they're placed in a pattern, or enhanced with ribbons, and so on. Fun stuff.

I've never done any needle play, but it's on the list of 'stuff I want to get round to eventually when I'm not quite so freaked out by the idea'.

But a body is basically the world's best artist's pad, isn't it? Way better than paper!


_____________________________

Sthetic on FetLife.




(in reply to Ligeia72)
Profile   Post #: 16
RE: Preferences based on aesthetics - 6/30/2010 12:55:45 AM   
LanceHughes


Posts: 4737
Joined: 2/12/2004
Status: offline 		Ahem... once I had an easy-to-mark pain-pig.  I used 3 of my 5 authentic canes to mark a grid on his back.  Each stroke was carefully set without any overlap.  Larger welts on major lines, smaller in those grids and smallest yet within.  Think Japanese brush strokes, but totally straight.  There was a 3-D look.  I'm glad it was in a public play place since before digital cameras.  I'm saying there were witnesses to this delightful, almost spontaneous image that I created.

Shortly after, he moved to Australia on long-term business contract.  If he ever visits here, you can bet I'll try for a repeat with fresh batteries.

ETA:  It just happened - once I hit him left and right and saw how his skin was reacting, I thought, "HMmmm.... let's take this as a challenge to my caning skills."  I was in top-space from stroke two - and flying as the experience lifted me to what is probably one of my best experiences.  Best both for me and for the skilll level I was able to achieve as the aesthetics 'came together' in my head and traslated to his body.

< Message edited by LanceHughes -- 6/30/2010 12:58:58 AM >

_____________________________

"Train 'em the right way - my way." Lance Hughes
"Advice is what we ask for when we already know the answer, but wish we didn't." Erica Jong

10 fluffy points
50 nz points

Member: VAA's posse

(in reply to LanceHughes)
Profile   Post #: 17
RE: Preferences based on aesthetics - 6/30/2010 1:02:38 AM   
Ligeia72


Posts: 126
Joined: 6/29/2010
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: BitaTruble

BDSM for me is *all* about the pleasure derived from the play and each of the senses is part of that so visual definitely has its place in the grand scheme when I top.


Ditto! Absolutely it's the same for me also. Although I prefer to Top, which I guess strictly speaking would make me the 'Sadist' in S&M play, I have often wondered whether or not I could even be considered as being the S part of the S&M equation (not that it matters of course, I'm talking more of idle curiosity). I don't get off on inflicting pain on anyone, I get off on inflicting pleasure - pleasure through pain, pleasure through heightened sensations, stimulation, emotions, visual appeal, etc, etc. So yeah definitely for me also it is absolutely *all* about the pleasure derived from the play, and what I can use/do to acheive/inflict that state of pleasure.

(in reply to BitaTruble)
Profile   Post #: 18
RE: Preferences based on aesthetics - 6/30/2010 1:03:36 AM   
DarlingSavage


Posts: 2808
Joined: 9/18/2009
Status: offline 		it's all about the looks, baby! Tell me something different, and I'll show you a liar!


< Message edited by DarlingSavage -- 6/30/2010 1:04:36 AM >

_____________________________

<-- Easily amused.
<-- Easily impressed.

Strangers have the BEST candy!

Puppy dogs are my favorite people!


(in reply to Ligeia72)
Profile   Post #: 19
RE: Preferences based on aesthetics - 6/30/2010 1:08:09 AM   
Ligeia72


Posts: 126
Joined: 6/29/2010
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: LanceHughes
Once the scene "gets going" I find that esthetics disappear along with the rest of the world.  I say "The walls dissolve," but that's not exactly true.  There is nothing visual except the toy and the boy.  I stay focused on the bottom's body language, breathing, eye dialation, etc.  All the "reading of the bottom" that lets me know where we are "going" and how fast.


That's interesting, I find it's the opposite for me - the aesthetics of the scene don't matter as much to me early on, but once the scene gets going then all of the aesthetic stuff becomes more detailed for me. Like I'll still be focusing on the bottom, and there reactions, body language, and so on, but at the same time I'll also be noticing other stuff like sights, sounds, smells, etc also. About the only thing that changes this for me is music, for example if I'm flogging in time to a beat and it becomes more of a 'going into a trance' type situation that let's the other senses shut down more (if that makes sense?).

(in reply to LanceHughes)
Profile   Post #: 20
Page:   [1] 2   next >   >>
All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> General BDSM Discussion >> Preferences based on aesthetics Page: [1] 2   next >   >>
Jump to:





New Messages No New Messages
Hot Topic w/ New Messages Hot Topic w/o New Messages
Locked w/ New Messages Locked w/o New Messages
 Post New Thread
 Reply to Message
 Post New Poll
 Submit Vote
 Delete My Own Post
 Delete My Own Thread
 Rate Posts




Collarchat.com © 2025
Terms of Service Privacy Policy Spam Policy

0.141