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RE: Preferences based on aesthetics - 6/30/2010 1:15:39 AM

LanceHughes

Posts: 4737
Joined: 2/12/2004
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quote:

ORIGINAL: DarlingSavage

it's all about the looks, baby! Tell me something different, and I'll show you a liar!

Maybe for you, my DarlingS. For me it's attitude, attitude, attitude. You say, "Yes, Sir," and hold yuor arms behind your back and we're off to the races. Some men in the Men-Only play group (gay,straight, bi-curious, hetroflexible, and more) are confused when I approach them. "Me, Sir? There's better looking here, Sir" Answer: "I like your attitude and what you were saying in the social room earlier. And, boy, do I have to remind you that I said 'Get over here'? I wasn't asking!"

YEP! That always works well.

Now, if the attitude is wrapped in a nice package, well, then no argument from me. LOL!

ETA: I just want to make sure. Were you calling me a liar? As a Straight-Fem-Sub, you must surely understand that your womanly charms have no power over me. The proper punishment?...... You think about it for a while.......

< Message edited by LanceHughes -- 6/30/2010 1:21:29 AM >

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"Advice is what we ask for when we already know the answer, but wish we didn't." Erica Jong

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(in reply to DarlingSavage)

Post #: 21

RE: Preferences based on aesthetics - 6/30/2010 1:35:15 AM

ExSteelAgain

Posts: 1803
Joined: 7/2/2006
From: Georgia
Status: offline

Sure, making the scene appealing heightens the intense feelings. I suspect those of us who post and read the posts realize that aspect more than others. There may come a desired point where everything is forgotten but the beating…on both sides, but an intelligent setting of the mood makes the play luscious. It’s how a great book can leave you feeling more passionate than a porn novel.

I’m always aware the effect of my words and arrangement of the scene have on the submissive. A sensitivity to the aesthetics brings a scene to a higher level with someone who is also sensitive. But it’s also important to realize all submissives are not.

No doubt there are lots of Doms who can flog better than I can, cane and damn sure execute Shibari better than I can. But I have my own unique perspective and methods to build the entire scene and relationship between myself and the submissive.

As far as how this translates into the actual physical play, for instance, with flogging, it begins with placing the falls on her face so she can smell, feel and see them. Then I slowly drag it down over her body and I begin very, very slowly with caress strokes.

Don’t misunderstand, I do appreciate the abilities of those Doms who use two floggers in a Florentine pattern and leave the sub deeply spaced in about 2 seconds. It’s just that my enjoyment and style is using lots of adjectives and adverbs verbally and physically.

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Post #: 22

RE: Preferences based on aesthetics - 6/30/2010 1:41:21 AM

Ligeia72

Posts: 126
Joined: 6/29/2010
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: LanceHughes

quote:

ORIGINAL: DarlingSavage

it's all about the looks, baby! Tell me something different, and I'll show you a liar!

Maybe for you, my DarlingS. For me it's attitude, attitude, attitude. You say, "Yes, Sir," and hold yuor arms behind your back and we're off to the races. Some men in the Men-Only play group (gay,straight, bi-curious, hetroflexible, and more) are confused when I approach them. "Me, Sir? There's better looking here, Sir" Answer: "I like your attitude and what you were saying in the social room earlier. And, boy, do I have to remind you that I said 'Get over here'? I wasn't asking!"

YEP! That always works well.

Now, if the attitude is wrapped in a nice package, well, then no argument from me. LOL!

Thanks for posting this, I must admit I did wonder if it was a bit of a D/s vs S&M thing - as in someone into S&M would be more likely to place emphasis on aesthetics as opposed to someone more into the D/s side of things (speaking in generalisations of course)

Personally I'm only interested in attitude so far as it is pleasing to the bottom to do so. If doing the whole, 'Yes Mistress' thing is what triggers someone's particular aspect of pleasure/get's them off, then I'm happy enough to indulge that. Otherwise it's not something I find necessary, or even appealing.

I do find it ever so slightly fascinating as well that people can be on such opposite spectrums and still be considered to be involved in this melting pot of stuff we do called BDSM. Ok, that was awkwardly phrased. *lol* I do love the variety of interests, experiences, attitudes, types of play within the context of BDSM. Even if it's stuff I'm not into myself, I still enjoy reading others thoughts, opinions, ideas etc.

(in reply to LanceHughes)

Post #: 23

RE: Preferences based on aesthetics - 6/30/2010 1:54:31 AM

crazyml

Posts: 5568
Joined: 7/3/2007
Status: offline

Hello! Lovely OP!

I would say that, for me, aesthetics do have a role to play - I like to create an overall atmosphere/ambiance, so the "visual" definitely plays a part.

I would say though that it tends to get forgotten as play progresses - so I suspect that for me at least, it's about scene setting rather than the whole scene.

(if that makes sense)

(in reply to Ligeia72)

Post #: 24

RE: Preferences based on aesthetics - 6/30/2010 1:57:51 AM

laurell3

Posts: 6577
Joined: 5/5/2005
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: DarlingSavage

it's all about the looks, baby! Tell me something different, and I'll show you a liar!

blows DS a raspberry....it's all about whatever makes me him happy for me

_____________________________

I cannot be defined by moments in my life, but must be considered for by the entirety of my existence.

When you fail to consider that I am the best judge for what is right for me, all of your opinions become suspect to me.

(in reply to DarlingSavage)

Post #: 25

RE: Preferences based on aesthetics - 6/30/2010 2:05:40 AM

allthatjaz

Posts: 2878
Joined: 8/20/2008
Status: offline

I am very much with Lance on this. We seldom set a scene conciously. I think the biggest thing we concentrate on is getting the music right. If its something like needle-play, branding or scarification we do make a setting and prepare the mood but for general fun we tend to dive straight in. If anything (when Im dominating) its my voice that sets a scene.

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Post #: 26

RE: Preferences based on aesthetics - 6/30/2010 2:12:50 AM

Ligeia72

Posts: 126
Joined: 6/29/2010
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: allthatjaz

I am very much with Lance on this. We seldom set a scene conciously. I think the biggest thing we concentrate on is getting the music right. If its something like needle-play, branding or scarification we do make a setting and prepare the mood but for general fun we tend to dive straight in. If anything (when Im dominating) its my voice that sets a scene.

Yeah I actually agree with this as well. For me when I talk about 'aesthetics' I don't necessarily mean I have to go and deck out the whole play space in just the right colours, have the right lighting, be burning a roomful of candles and incense for that lovely hedonistic touch, etc etc. For me it's more about being concious of using the space I'm provided at the time. So sometimes that can mean being elaborate, and involve a lot of attention to detail, and other times it can mean 'dive straight in', and rely on stuff like my voice to set a scene.

(in reply to allthatjaz)

Post #: 27

RE: Preferences based on aesthetics - 6/30/2010 3:08:37 AM

IronBear

Posts: 9008
Joined: 6/19/2005
From: Beenleigh, Qld, Australia
Status: offline

Almost everything I do, ideally, must be aesthetically balanced to give the feel, look and sound/scent a most pleasing experience for me.. I always hope others will pick up on it too..

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Master of Bruin Cottage

http://www.bruincottage.org

Your attitude, words & actions are yours. Take responsibility for them and the consequences they incur.

D.I.L.L.I.G.A.F.

(in reply to Ligeia72)

Post #: 28

RE: Preferences based on aesthetics - 6/30/2010 3:38:37 AM

ChainedExistence

Posts: 507
Joined: 2/5/2005
Status: offline

One really important thing for me is a sense of balance-maybe it's sort of an OCD thing, but I often find myself counting strokes in my head, or at the very least getting entirely caught up in certain patterns to a flogging. That can go two ways..., eagerly anticipating when and where the next strike will fall and building some sort of visual images that the pattern suggests, or finding myself begging for another pop on a particular side or needing more so I can get to a certain number. Let's say for example...he's flogging me in a left left right right pattern...it really messes with my head if he suddenly changes up, or I find it a tad frustrating for him to stop on a "weird number" like 19 or 232. Much like Lance's enjoyment over laying down a grid pattern on a sub's back, I am building mental grid patterns in my head, and changes to flogging patterns or stopping on odd numbers makes me NEED to beg for more. Master knows this about me and sometimes obliges...but he's just as likely not to, just to watch me squirm!
Edited to add- I have observed that regular patterns tend to lead to easier spacing for me...odd numbers and patterns tend to keep me more alert.

< Message edited by ChainedExistence -- 6/30/2010 3:43:56 AM >

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Post #: 29

RE: Preferences based on aesthetics - 6/30/2010 3:48:13 AM

Ligeia72

Posts: 126
Joined: 6/29/2010
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: ChainedExistence

One really important thing for me is a sense of balance-maybe it's sort of an OCD thing, but I often find myself counting strokes in my head, or at the very least getting entirely caught up in certain patterns to a flogging. That can go two ways..., eagerly anticipating when and where the next strike will fall and building some sort of visual images that the pattern suggests, or finding myself begging for another pop on a particular side or needing more so I can get to a certain number. Let's say for example...he's flogging me in a left left right right pattern...it really messes with my head if he suddenly changes up, or I find it a tad frustrating for him to stop on a "weird number" like 19 or 232. Much like Lance's enjoyment over laying down a grid pattern on a sub's back, I am building mental grid patterns in my head, and changes to flogging patterns or stopping on odd numbers makes me NEED to beg for more. Master knows this about me and sometimes obliges...but he's just as likely not to, just to watch me squirm!
Edited to add- I have observed that regular patterns tend to lead to easier spacing for me...odd numbers and patterns tend to keep me more alert.

Yeah I know what you mean. I do have OCD tendencies, especially revolving around the numbers 3, 5 and 9. I like flogging in time to a 4x4 beat with music, and I just found myself sitting here and mentally going - 'Hang on, 4 strokes to a beat, what about 3? Damn I'm gonna have to change to a waltz' *lol*

(in reply to ChainedExistence)

Post #: 30

RE: Preferences based on aesthetics - 6/30/2010 3:57:11 AM

delicatelydirty

Posts: 126
Joined: 2/7/2010
Status: offline

for me .... well I'm all about mess and chaos, a scene is passionate and primal ... and I agree with Lance it is all about attitude

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Post #: 31

RE: Preferences based on aesthetics - 6/30/2010 8:19:58 AM

DesFIP

Posts: 25191
Joined: 11/25/2007
From: Apple County NY
Status: offline

He feels this way about bondage. It should be symmetrical. I'm usually blindfolded so doesn't matter to me.

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Post #: 32

RE: Preferences based on aesthetics - 6/30/2010 8:26:41 AM

NuevaVida

Posts: 6707
Joined: 8/5/2008
Status: offline

Like others have said, I typically can't see what he's doing, and I have no idea what role aesthetics plays for him. But I will say I do love when I can see the wall reflecting a shadow of him, arm up, implement in hand, ready to come down. It certainly enhances the anticipation of what I'm about to feel.

_____________________________

Live Simply. Love Generously. Care Deeply. Speak Kindly.

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Post #: 33

RE: Preferences based on aesthetics - 6/30/2010 8:48:54 AM

DarlingSavage

Posts: 2808
Joined: 9/18/2009
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: LanceHughes

quote:

ORIGINAL: DarlingSavage

it's all about the looks, baby! Tell me something different, and I'll show you a liar!

Maybe for you, my DarlingS. For me it's attitude, attitude, attitude. You say, "Yes, Sir," and hold yuor arms behind your back and we're off to the races. Some men in the Men-Only play group (gay,straight, bi-curious, hetroflexible, and more) are confused when I approach them. "Me, Sir? There's better looking here, Sir" Answer: "I like your attitude and what you were saying in the social room earlier. And, boy, do I have to remind you that I said 'Get over here'? I wasn't asking!"

YEP! That always works well.

Now, if the attitude is wrapped in a nice package, well, then no argument from me. LOL!

ETA: I just want to make sure. Were you calling me a liar? As a Straight-Fem-Sub, you must surely understand that your womanly charms have no power over me. The proper punishment?...... You think about it for a while.......

No, I'm not, I'm just being silly, but I think that there is something about appearance, beauty is in the eye of the beholder. I agree that sometimes, people can be very physically attractive, but then you get to know them and discover they are not very attractive on the inside, then it starts to show on the outside. I've also found the same to be true going in the opposite direction.

< Message edited by DarlingSavage -- 6/30/2010 8:54:39 AM >

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<-- Easily amused.
<-- Easily impressed.

Strangers have the BEST candy!

Puppy dogs are my favorite people!

(in reply to LanceHughes)

Post #: 34

RE: Preferences based on aesthetics - 6/30/2010 9:14:10 AM

DarlingSavage

Posts: 2808
Joined: 9/18/2009
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: laurell3

quote:

ORIGINAL: DarlingSavage

it's all about the looks, baby! Tell me something different, and I'll show you a liar!

blows DS a raspberry....it's all about whatever makes me him happy for me

You got no room to talk, Jeffffff's a hottie!

_____________________________

<-- Easily amused.
<-- Easily impressed.

Strangers have the BEST candy!

Puppy dogs are my favorite people!

(in reply to laurell3)

Post #: 35

RE: Preferences based on aesthetics - 6/30/2010 9:52:37 AM

LadyPact

Posts: 32566
Status: offline

Sometimes, I sit back and wonder how people disassociate these things.

Of course I do!

Watching the falls of the flogger goes right along with listening to the rhythmic sound. Seeing the dragon's tongue lash against the skin is just as important as hearing the crack. Looking at the mark left by the cane as the blood rises against the skin is as pretty as the vocal yelp. I want that certain look after the paddle's been used just the right number of times. Knowing which toy is going to leave which kind of result.

This isn't some cold, canned thing for Me. There is art in sadism.

_____________________________

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Happily dating a new submissive. It's official. I've named him engie.

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Post #: 36

RE: Preferences based on aesthetics - 6/30/2010 1:36:38 PM

Ligeia72

Posts: 126
Joined: 6/29/2010
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyPact

Sometimes, I sit back and wonder how people disassociate these things.

Of course I do!

Watching the falls of the flogger goes right along with listening to the rhythmic sound. Seeing the dragon's tongue lash against the skin is just as important as hearing the crack. Looking at the mark left by the cane as the blood rises against the skin is as pretty as the vocal yelp. I want that certain look after the paddle's been used just the right number of times. Knowing which toy is going to leave which kind of result.

This isn't some cold, canned thing for Me. There is art in sadism.

I agree totally. 'There is art in sadism' - deliciously put

(in reply to LadyPact)

Post #: 37

RE: Preferences based on aesthetics - 7/3/2010 4:13:44 PM

LanceHughes

Posts: 4737
Joined: 2/12/2004
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Ligeia72

quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyPact
Sometimes, I sit back and wonder how people disassociate these things.

Of course I do!

Watching the falls of the flogger goes right along with listening to the rhythmic sound. Seeing the dragon's tongue lash against the skin is just as important as hearing the crack. Looking at the mark left by the cane as the blood rises against the skin is as pretty as the vocal yelp. I want that certain look after the paddle's been used just the right number of times. Knowing which toy is going to leave which kind of result.

This isn't some cold, canned thing for Me. There is art in sadism.

I agree totally. 'There is art in sadism' - deliciously put

Quoted the quote for truth for quoting the truth.

When the world "falls away," my head is in a space that I can only image the great artists enjoy (or enjoyed.) Concentration while trying to beautify the obejct at hand. Your definition of "beautify" WILL vary.

< Message edited by LanceHughes -- 7/3/2010 4:16:27 PM >

_____________________________

"Train 'em the right way - my way." Lance Hughes
"Advice is what we ask for when we already know the answer, but wish we didn't." Erica Jong

10 fluffy points
50 nz points

Member: VAA's posse

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Post #: 38

RE: Preferences based on aesthetics - 7/4/2010 5:04:40 PM

Andalusite

Posts: 2492
Joined: 1/25/2009
Status: offline

I like visual artistry in rope bondage, needleplay, cell popping, etc. It doesn't tend to matter as much in other types of play.

(in reply to LanceHughes)

Post #: 39

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