The Hunters and The Hunted

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MissAsylum -> The Hunters and The Hunted (6/29/2010 3:44:34 PM)
a topic that i had been dicussing with a vanilla friend had me thinking about how it applies to this lifestyle. Regardless if you agree or not or if applies to your life personally, the standard has for most been that women are the sought after object for a lack of a better phrase. Its has been the standard that men are to do the hunting(again, for a lack of a better phrase) and the women are held as the prize. do you believe that the D/s dynamic is held in the same regard, where the D-type is the man and s-type is the woman? its not a problem with me personally, but i have come across people here who identify as bottoms/submissives/slaves that openly state that they are the prize and that the Tops/Dominants should be so honoured as to be with somebody of their s-type nature. Should the D-types be the ones doing the hunting(in your personal opinion)?

KneelingSub25 -> RE: The Hunters and The Hunted (6/29/2010 3:50:48 PM)
That is an excellent question, and I am very happy that you raised it, MissAsylum. I hope that, one day, it will be as common for a woman to be the "hunter" as it is for a man to be one now. When you throw the D/s dynamic into the mix, it does become even more unnatural (and, shall I say, "perverse") for the supposedly "submissive" man to be doing all the "hunting" while the supposedly dominant woman does ALL the receiving. I think women should be encouraged to take the initiative if they are truly interested in a man. It is true, there are some men who MIGHT be put off by an aggressive woman, but I wouldn't let that discourage you, not in the least.

MissAsylum -> RE: The Hunters and The Hunted (6/29/2010 4:10:53 PM)
Oh I'm not afraid of doing the hunting. being raised by an uber idependent scorned by divorce woman so if i see something i want, i get it. or at least try. lol

KneelingSub25 -> RE: The Hunters and The Hunted (6/29/2010 4:11:57 PM)
Kudos to you, MissAsylum. I wish more women were like you.

DarkSteven -> RE: The Hunters and The Hunted (6/29/2010 5:01:46 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: KneelingSub25 Kudos to you, MissAsylum. I wish more women were like you. Me, too, 'ceptin' I'd want them to be submissive... [8D]

KneelingSub25 -> RE: The Hunters and The Hunted (6/29/2010 5:04:34 PM)
Submissive women are good too. :)

xxblushesxx -> RE: The Hunters and The Hunted (6/29/2010 5:06:35 PM)
Hmmm...I'm not a prize but... I did turn Him down like three times before I seriously started to consider him. (I honestly thought that he was way too good for me...and a bit more vanilla than I liked...)

laurell3 -> RE: The Hunters and The Hunted (6/29/2010 5:13:36 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: MissAsylum a topic that i had been dicussing with a vanilla friend had me thinking about how it applies to this lifestyle. Regardless if you agree or not or if applies to your life personally, the standard has for most been that women are the sought after object for a lack of a better phrase. Its has been the standard that men are to do the hunting(again, for a lack of a better phrase) and the women are held as the prize. do you believe that the D/s dynamic is held in the same regard, where the D-type is the man and s-type is the woman? its not a problem with me personally, but i have come across people here who identify as bottoms/submissives/slaves that openly state that they are the prize and that the Tops/Dominants should be so honoured as to be with somebody of their s-type nature. Should the D-types be the ones doing the hunting(in your personal opinion)? I think this is like any stereotype or rule. It only applies when people choose for it to apply. The numbers game sort of lends itself to some of these feelings, I think. I have no rules about hunting or being hunted. I don't even really like calling it hunting because there are way too many stalker types that would read that literally [8D] I certainly think we are both blessed by each other's companionship. I question the prize theory, it sounds way too much like the "submission is a gift" crap. I will agree that with all the wankers and idiots out there, as a submissive female one really does have to take a healthy stance on just what exactly they are looking for, stick with it and practice the art of negotiation regardless of role when they find that person. Maybe that's what the "prize" theory means.

LadyHibiscus -> RE: The Hunters and The Hunted (6/29/2010 5:15:48 PM)
I am a natural hunter. I have no problem showing interest in my "prey". I was that way when I was a teenager! That doesn't mean I expect to do ALL the work of getting a relationship started. To put all of that in one camp or another just because it's D/s is just a roadblock.

MagiksSlave -> RE: The Hunters and The Hunted (6/29/2010 5:16:52 PM)
I don’t know about the other females here but I certainly don’t feel like the prize.

Jeffff -> RE: The Hunters and The Hunted (6/29/2010 5:36:55 PM)
I admit, I am the GRAND PRIZE!!! oops....wrong thread......nevermind

zephyroftheNorth -> RE: The Hunters and The Hunted (6/29/2010 5:39:08 PM)
kicks Jefffffffffffffffffffffffff into the right thread

LadyPact -> RE: The Hunters and The Hunted (6/29/2010 5:48:45 PM)
I agree with much of what laurell said here. The thing about kinky folks is that we're not exactly reflective of the world population. It's just not nearly as close to a 50/50 split. So instead, you really have more of a case of supply and demand, with more males on both sides of the kneel than females. This tends to still throw the job of hunting on males regardless. Personally, I'm good with that. I tend not to pursue because I am married and poly.

MissAsylum -> RE: The Hunters and The Hunted (6/29/2010 6:01:03 PM)
damn it stevie! ship my shoes over there and we can get the ball rolling!

Rochsub2009 -> RE: The Hunters and The Hunted (6/29/2010 7:21:04 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: MissAsylum Should the D-types be the ones doing the hunting(in your personal opinion)? Interesting (and difficult) question. I remember a time when it was difficult for a man to know how he was supposed to behave around a woman. Typical rules of chivalry were being thrown out the window, and women were rising up and demanding equality. Some wanted to be treated like "ladies". Others were rejecting standard gentlemanly practices. It was very confusing to be a man. Many of us didn't know how to behave. I long ago came to grips with the changing times, and I am much more comfortable with how to behave in those situations. However, I am still not 100% certain how to behave in the situation that you describe. Many dominant women behave like the predators, and they expect submissive men to behave like prey. They take the initiative, and are offended by men who would dare to take on that role. Others take the exact opposite approach. They expect submissive men to maintain the role of pursuer, but also expect him to immediately give up that pursuit, and any other actions that might appear dominant once she has accepted his wooing. Because there seems to be such a dichotomy among the Domme population, I often find myself confused as to how to proceed. Should I pursue, or should I wait to be pursued? Will she be offended if I make the first move? When is she going to make the first move? It really is quite confusing. By default, I tend to wait for the Domme to do the approaching. But if I sense that she is not going to do so, then I may take the initiative. It's even worse when it comes to romance. Some women who identify as Dommes still expect men to be the initiators. They wait for the man to take the "first kiss". Others definitely reserve that right for themselves. Once the romantic relationship is established, most Dommes that I've been with take control of things from there. But those initial phases are dicey. Should I or shouldn't I? I still haven't figured out the answer to that one yet. I think that things are much easier and more straightforward for male Doms. They are in control all the way. But female Dom/male sub is far more complex.

IronBear -> RE: The Hunters and The Hunted (6/29/2010 9:00:00 PM)
I do like it when the hunted starts to hunt the hunter and the hunter keeps on hunting the hunted......

Missokyst -> RE: The Hunters and The Hunted (6/29/2010 9:21:31 PM)
I agree. I may not be the hunter but I would be lying if I said I didn't do things to make sure the hunter knows where to find me. I find the idea proposed that the prey is some sort of prize very offensive. This is a dance, we merely fall into step together.

IronBear -> RE: The Hunters and The Hunted (6/29/2010 9:26:31 PM)
I agree that the hunted is not prey but for me she is a prize and like most prizes worthy of winning, one needs work hard to achieve success.

BitaTruble -> RE: The Hunters and The Hunted (6/30/2010 3:46:06 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: MissAsylum a topic that i had been dicussing with a vanilla friend had me thinking about how it applies to this lifestyle. Regardless if you agree or not or if applies to your life personally, the standard has for most been that women are the sought after object for a lack of a better phrase. Its has been the standard that men are to do the hunting(again, for a lack of a better phrase) and the women are held as the prize. do you believe that the D/s dynamic is held in the same regard, where the D-type is the man and s-type is the woman? its not a problem with me personally, but i have come across people here who identify as bottoms/submissives/slaves that openly state that they are the prize and that the Tops/Dominants should be so honoured as to be with somebody of their s-type nature. Should the D-types be the ones doing the hunting(in your personal opinion)? Once I got over the low self-esteem/lack of confidence and learned that life is just too short to waste my time waiting, I had no issue with telling someone that I wanted to play or that I like them or what have you. I get rejected on occasion and that's a good thing ... keeps me humble etc. and I do my own share of rejecting, too, but usually temper that with being mostly sweet. :D Since I'm a people person as opposed to gender oriented and I'm an SM switch, it makes no difference to me what side of the kneel someone may be more wired for because if I think they rock I'm comfortable with any sort of scene with them. As far as whether D/s or M/s relationships still hold that old stereotype, yes, I think they mostly do and I think it's a shame because men are just as likely to lack confidence or be shy or any other reason that brings forth the hunter/hunted role. I would think that most men would be flattered to have a woman who really wants them just being up front and stating so. I don't know, I could be wrong. I suppose some folks like the game of the hunt and maybe don't care for a woman who knows what she wants and goes out and gets it but most likely, I wouldn't be attracted to that sort anyway.

ShoreBound149 -> RE: The Hunters and The Hunted (6/30/2010 4:12:12 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: MissAsylum i have come across people here who identify as bottoms/submissives/slaves that openly state that they are the prize and that the Tops/Dominants should be so honoured as to be with somebody of their s-type nature. The people that hold themselves out as "prizes", in any aspect of life, are fucking tools who have suspended reality and have a distorted view of themselves. The "prize" is the relationship not either one of it's members. I would bet that those people who truly view themselves as "prizes" have a low percentage of long term healthy relationships.

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