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ranja -> RE: Is marriage (6/30/2010 9:56:45 AM)
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quote:
ORIGINAL: MsMillgrove
I find that the two dynamics-marriage and d/s work best for marriages later in life when the children are out of the house, or for marriages with no children at all.
When children arrive, it appears that the d/s has to go into the bedroom or be an "outside" evening at a club. D/s is not something that you want to put away.. to put into a drawer, take in and out.
Yet, in front of children, you model a behavior. If you're lucky to be in a culture where it's a tradition to have one partner in charge of the household, to be the authority, this is easier. In homes with Mid-Eastern or some Latin or Asian roots, the women can acceptably behave in a submissive fashion. In a Jewish household, the woman is queen at home. A male Jewish sub is therefore in a great spot. So it's possible if the cultural-ethnic roots are already present for the couple, they could have an easier time of keeping their d/s out in the open in front of the children.
Every couple has to find their own way to adjust and adapt. Personally, I find it hard to be my sadistic self or to discipline a person I am deeply in love with in a romantic sense.
That's just me, I would never marry a slave.
BDSM as we play with it now did not enter into our relationship until after our child was born.
Now our relationship is much simpler structured, the boundaries are much clearer, we are on a much steadier course... i think our child does well in this environment, as do we.
Obviously sexual aspects... (like putting a collar and lead on me and have me crawl about the room) need to be done after the sprog is asleep and certain doors are locked, but we do not find this too much of a hinderance at all at this moment.
i hope things do not become 'difficult' when our child gets to be a teenager but i suppose sleepovers at friends & family will always be a regular occurance.
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