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RE: Really, Really Bad Advice - 9/14/2006 8:36:18 AM   
LadyEllen


Posts: 10931
Joined: 6/30/2006
From: Stourport-England
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Yang4yin

For years I owned a pickup truck and my sister took advantage of that fact, getting me to haul mulch and things for her. She just bought a small SUV that has a big cargo area in back. Should I ask her to do the hauling for me now, and how should I make her feel guilty enough to actually do it.


Tell her its time she dealt with her own shit

My neighbour wont stop touching me up. Is this a problem I need advice on at all?

(in reply to Yang4yin)
Profile   Post #: 1741
RE: Really, Really Bad Advice - 9/14/2006 2:17:20 PM   
Yang4yin


Posts: 1677
Joined: 7/26/2006
From: NC (USA)
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyEllen

My neighbour wont stop touching me up. Is this a problem I need advice on at all?


Do you enjoy it?
If you do, you should present more opportunities for it to happen.
If you don't enjoy it, stick a fork in your neighbour's hand the next time it's about to happen.


siouxie inadvertently, or rather, accidentally asked for my help in deciding how to get her hair cut. I don't think she really wants my opinion. What should I do?
 

(in reply to LadyEllen)
Profile   Post #: 1742
RE: Really, Really Bad Advice - 9/14/2006 2:19:18 PM   
CreoleCook


Posts: 321
Joined: 10/9/2005
Status: offline 		if your neighbor is sexy, I'd go in for a full grope next time.  If your neighbor is ugly, then let them cop a feel, smile at em, and say, this is as close to sex as you will ever get with me.

How do I keep my dog from jumping on the bed at night?


_____________________________

"If I owned Texas, and Hell, I would rent out Texas, and live in Hell." ~Gen. John Sheridan, 1855

"I was thinking of the immortal words of socrates, who said, 'I drank what?'" ~Chris Knight, Real Genius

(in reply to LadyEllen)
Profile   Post #: 1743
RE: Really, Really Bad Advice - 9/14/2006 2:21:17 PM   
Yang4yin


Posts: 1677
Joined: 7/26/2006
From: NC (USA)
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: CreoleCook

How do I keep my dog from jumping on the bed at night?



You could try running a lot of electricity through the top cover. (Careful when you get in.)


siouxie inadvertently, or rather, accidentally asked for my help in deciding how to get her hair cut. I don't think she really wants my opinion. What should I do?


(in reply to CreoleCook)
Profile   Post #: 1744
RE: Really, Really Bad Advice - 9/14/2006 8:46:03 PM   
SweetlyTwisted


Posts: 206
Joined: 7/27/2006
From: Indiana
Status: offline 		Give her the phone number of the local dog groomer.

What is the best way to keep stray dogs from pooping on my lawn?


_____________________________

Sure, I'm twisted, but it's a good kind of twisted.

(in reply to Yang4yin)
Profile   Post #: 1745
RE: Really, Really Bad Advice - 9/14/2006 8:49:51 PM   
wldrtst


Posts: 37
Joined: 9/14/2006
Status: offline 		Pee all around the perimeter of your yard. Then they will know it's your territory.




I blew up and left good friends, how do I let them know I missed them and want their friendship back?

(in reply to SweetlyTwisted)
Profile   Post #: 1746
RE: Really, Really Bad Advice - 9/14/2006 8:56:06 PM   
SweetlyTwisted


Posts: 206
Joined: 7/27/2006
From: Indiana
Status: offline 		Cut off your left ear and send it in a box to let them know you are ready to listen.

What do you do when an ear arrives in the mail?


_____________________________

Sure, I'm twisted, but it's a good kind of twisted.

(in reply to wldrtst)
Profile   Post #: 1747
RE: Really, Really Bad Advice - 9/14/2006 9:00:09 PM   
wldrtst


Posts: 37
Joined: 9/14/2006
Status: offline 		Dry it out and use it as an earring.

What is the easiest way to pack for a move?

_____________________________

Formerly known as MissgiveNTake

Life's a Bitch and so am I.

(in reply to SweetlyTwisted)
Profile   Post #: 1748
RE: Really, Really Bad Advice - 9/14/2006 9:02:40 PM   
CreoleCook


Posts: 321
Joined: 10/9/2005
Status: offline 		next time a friend says to keep your ear to the ground, throw it at their feet, and watch the reactions.


I lost my car... can you help me find it?


_____________________________

"If I owned Texas, and Hell, I would rent out Texas, and live in Hell." ~Gen. John Sheridan, 1855

"I was thinking of the immortal words of socrates, who said, 'I drank what?'" ~Chris Knight, Real Genius

(in reply to SweetlyTwisted)
Profile   Post #: 1749
RE: Really, Really Bad Advice - 9/14/2006 9:04:40 PM   
SweetlyTwisted


Posts: 206
Joined: 7/27/2006
From: Indiana
Status: offline 		Throw the wheels back on your house.

For some reason the air keeps leaking out of my tire, what should I do?



_____________________________

Sure, I'm twisted, but it's a good kind of twisted.

(in reply to wldrtst)
Profile   Post #: 1750
RE: Really, Really Bad Advice - 9/14/2006 9:05:37 PM   
wldrtst


Posts: 37
Joined: 9/14/2006
Status: offline 		Call the cops and tell them someone stole your car full of Crack, they will help you find it.


My breast itch when I model nude, what can I do to stop it?

_____________________________

Formerly known as MissgiveNTake

Life's a Bitch and so am I.

(in reply to CreoleCook)
Profile   Post #: 1751
RE: Really, Really Bad Advice - 9/14/2006 9:15:20 PM   
SweetlyTwisted


Posts: 206
Joined: 7/27/2006
From: Indiana
Status: offline 		Grease them up with butter to stop the itching.

I'm craving something sweet but I'm dieting. I don't want fruit either, what would curb this craving?




_____________________________

Sure, I'm twisted, but it's a good kind of twisted.

(in reply to wldrtst)
Profile   Post #: 1752
RE: Really, Really Bad Advice - 9/15/2006 3:44:36 AM   
CreoleCook


Posts: 321
Joined: 10/9/2005
Status: offline 		put yer head between yer own legs, and taste yourself. you'll be having something sweet, and exercising at the same time...



Why can't I fall asleep when I know I have a long day tomorrow?


_____________________________

"If I owned Texas, and Hell, I would rent out Texas, and live in Hell." ~Gen. John Sheridan, 1855

"I was thinking of the immortal words of socrates, who said, 'I drank what?'" ~Chris Knight, Real Genius

(in reply to SweetlyTwisted)
Profile   Post #: 1753
RE: Really, Really Bad Advice - 9/15/2006 9:52:37 AM   
LadyEllen


Posts: 10931
Joined: 6/30/2006
From: Stourport-England
Status: offline 		Because you've spent all day and night wondering if someone would reply to your question! Now someone has, but you have been up all day and night waiting and now its nearly tomorrow already.

I stuck a fork in my groping neighbour's hand, but that just turned him on even more. What should I do now?


(in reply to CreoleCook)
Profile   Post #: 1754
RE: Really, Really Bad Advice - 9/15/2006 9:57:32 AM   
Yang4yin


Posts: 1677
Joined: 7/26/2006
From: NC (USA)
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyEllen

I stuck a fork in my groping neighbour's hand, but that just turned him on even more. What should I do now?



Stick a fork in his crotch and see what happens.
 
 
It seems some of my advice isn't working well. What should I do?

(in reply to LadyEllen)
Profile   Post #: 1755
RE: Really, Really Bad Advice - 9/15/2006 12:32:20 PM   
CreoleCook


Posts: 321
Joined: 10/9/2005
Status: offline 		learn the philosophies of buddha, and confucia...

My neighbor just stuck a fork in my cajones, and I liked it... how should I reply?



_____________________________

"If I owned Texas, and Hell, I would rent out Texas, and live in Hell." ~Gen. John Sheridan, 1855

"I was thinking of the immortal words of socrates, who said, 'I drank what?'" ~Chris Knight, Real Genius

(in reply to Yang4yin)
Profile   Post #: 1756
RE: Really, Really Bad Advice - 9/15/2006 2:11:50 PM   
MizChaos


Posts: 4
Joined: 9/15/2006
Status: offline 		Dry hump her leg in appreciation.

My little brother wants a paintball gun for his birthday, and I know he is going to shoot the cows with it. What should I do?

< Message edited by MizChaos -- 9/15/2006 2:12:32 PM >

(in reply to CreoleCook)
Profile   Post #: 1757
RE: Really, Really Bad Advice - 9/15/2006 2:14:05 PM   
CreoleCook


Posts: 321
Joined: 10/9/2005
Status: offline 		stopper the end of the gun, so it causes the paint to blow splatter himself, instead.


I lost my car keys... any suggestions on where to look for them?


_____________________________

"If I owned Texas, and Hell, I would rent out Texas, and live in Hell." ~Gen. John Sheridan, 1855

"I was thinking of the immortal words of socrates, who said, 'I drank what?'" ~Chris Knight, Real Genius

(in reply to MizChaos)
Profile   Post #: 1758
RE: Really, Really Bad Advice - 9/15/2006 4:09:21 PM   
APiratesMistress


Posts: 78
Joined: 7/8/2006
Status: offline 		The freezer.. or the cat!

I seem to have forgotten what time I start work tonight.. What should I do?

_____________________________

"A rose can be painful for those who see not the danger in such beauty"
Mistress Malia

(in reply to CreoleCook)
Profile   Post #: 1759
RE: Really, Really Bad Advice - 9/15/2006 5:19:10 PM   
pinkee


Posts: 487
Status: offline 		Quit your job.  Apply for unemployment & then worker's comp.  Hire a lawyer & raise a huge stink.  There's a discrimination claim for everyone now.
 
i love giving advice and my family is deaf to it now, what should i do?
 
pinkee

(in reply to APiratesMistress)
Profile   Post #: 1760
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