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RE: Questions on Collaring - 6/10/2010 5:42:58 PM   
AquaticSub


Posts: 14867
Joined: 12/27/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: baedwards

If you saw someone wearing a necklace with a small handcuff charm, would you assume that it was a collar?


No. I know too many completely vanilla folks who think of collars a fashion statement. I expect people to be upfront with their BDSM interests, at least if they have interest in being involved with me.

_____________________________

Without my dominance you cannot submit. Without your submission I cannot dominate. You are my equal in this, though our roles are different.-Val

It was ok for him to beat me but then he tried to cuddle me! - Me

Member:Clan of the Scarlet O'Hair

(in reply to baedwards)
Profile   Post #: 21
RE: Questions on Collaring - 6/10/2010 5:53:00 PM   
DaddysInkedSlut


Posts: 1837
Joined: 5/14/2010
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: baedwards


If you saw someone wearing a necklace with a small handcuff charm, would you assume that it was a collar?




Nope. I have a tattoo that includes handcuffs on my calf and MOST people assume it means I date law enforcement types.

_____________________________


(in reply to baedwards)
Profile   Post #: 22
RE: Questions on Collaring - 6/10/2010 8:57:59 PM   
LuckyAlbatross


Posts: 19224
Joined: 10/25/2005
Status: offline
quote:

If you saw someone wearing a necklace with a small handcuff charm, would you assume that it was a collar?


No, I might think it was a kink related pendant, but would not automatically go to collar.

_____________________________

Find stable partners, not a stable of partners.

"Sometimes my whore logic gets all fuzzy"- Californication

(in reply to sweetsub1957)
Profile   Post #: 23
RE: Questions on Collaring - 6/11/2010 2:47:13 PM   
Tombeaux


Posts: 9
Joined: 5/13/2008
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: peppermint

My everyday collar was purchased at Sears.  Mine is about 3/8 inches wide.  It lies flat on the skin and is made of many many tiny pieces of silver woven together.  Any jewelry store or counter will have examples of necklaces that can be used as an everyday collar. 

The process is that you tell him it's not working.  He may then decide to release you.  If he doesn't release you, you just walk out.  If he does release you, you walk out. 


Sounds about the same as marriage.  Why bother to collar if it means nothing or is left exclusively to the sub solely to determine what is or isn't an acceptable standard to continue?  I for one gravitate to this lifestyle because of the definition of roles Dom/sub it supposedly brings with it, which marriage fails to define.  As most of the posts indicate, commitment in any form seems to be as fleeting as ones bank account.

While a contract is non binding, what people refer to as a negotiation period and setting the terms of your relationship, I believe is crucial.  It certainly is what keeps things glued together in Taken in Hand relationships.  I would never take another sub on 24/7 without a "Memorandum of Understand."  Simply what each expects of the other, how it is suppose to be measured, the penalties and the repercussions, to include termination. 

There should be a neutral person or persons who would be aware of the understanding before the collaring and have the ability to ask questions since they would mediate and essentially determine enforcement.  If she wanted out and he in fact lived up to his part of the understanding, it should cost her and the same for her if she maintained and he did not.  Obviously this is not intended to be if someone put the toilet paper on backwards. I also beleive you may initially collar in private, but I also believe in the ritual of having a ceremony for the value of ritual.



(in reply to peppermint)
Profile   Post #: 24
RE: Questions on Collaring - 6/11/2010 2:55:35 PM   
Aileen1968


Posts: 6062
Joined: 12/12/2007
From: I miss Shore, New Jersey
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Tombeaux

quote:

ORIGINAL: peppermint

My everyday collar was purchased at Sears.  Mine is about 3/8 inches wide.  It lies flat on the skin and is made of many many tiny pieces of silver woven together.  Any jewelry store or counter will have examples of necklaces that can be used as an everyday collar. 

The process is that you tell him it's not working.  He may then decide to release you.  If he doesn't release you, you just walk out.  If he does release you, you walk out. 


Sounds about the same as marriage.  Why bother to collar if it means nothing or is left exclusively to the sub solely to determine what is or isn't an acceptable standard to continue?  I for one gravitate to this lifestyle because of the definition of roles Dom/sub it supposedly brings with it, which marriage fails to define.  As most of the posts indicate, commitment in any form seems to be as fleeting as ones bank account.

While a contract is non binding, what people refer to as a negotiation period and setting the terms of your relationship, I believe is crucial.  It certainly is what keeps things glued together in Taken in Hand relationships.  I would never take another sub on 24/7 without a "Memorandum of Understand."  Simply what each expects of the other, how it is suppose to be measured, the penalties and the repercussions, to include termination. 

There should be a neutral person or persons who would be aware of the understanding before the collaring and have the ability to ask questions since they would mediate and essentially determine enforcement.  If she wanted out and he in fact lived up to his part of the understanding, it should cost her and the same for her if she maintained and he did not.  Obviously this is not intended to be if someone put the toilet paper on backwards. I also beleive you may initially collar in private, but I also believe in the ritual of having a ceremony for the value of ritual.





That's all well and good if you have the type of relationship where a contract is part of it or some sort of protocol.
I would never be in a relationship or even be remotely attracted to someone that found it necessary to have a "Memorandum of Understanding".
We talk and communicate with each other like vanilla people () and we do not and never would involve a third party into the intimate dynamics of our relationship.
As for the ceremony...he punched me, shaved my pussy then fucked me after he put the collar around my neck. Now that's a ritual that I could repeat!

< Message edited by Aileen1968 -- 6/11/2010 2:56:05 PM >

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Profile   Post #: 25
RE: Questions on Collaring - 6/11/2010 3:04:26 PM   
Tombeaux


Posts: 9
Joined: 5/13/2008
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: whiteslavebitch

http://www.bondagecollars.com/collar


great link thanks =D

(in reply to whiteslavebitch)
Profile   Post #: 26
RE: Questions on Collaring - 6/11/2010 4:17:47 PM   
whiteslavebitch


Posts: 479
Joined: 9/10/2007
Status: offline 		You're welcome.

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MasterK's whiteslavebitch

formally collared 1/30/09

"I give to you my everything, you've given me these loving wings." - DMB

(in reply to Tombeaux)
Profile   Post #: 27
RE: Questions on Collaring - 6/11/2010 4:41:52 PM   
fitzroy10


Posts: 21
Joined: 4/27/2010
Status: offline 		 

My probationary Mistress (I'm on trial not her) emailed the other day to ask me what my neck size is. We are getting together this Sunday for an overnight sesssion---(We live about 120 miles apart)--- and I am wondering what she has for me--- a collar or a Fathers Day tie.  She has impeccable taste so I will be happy either way.  (Yeah, sure)

(in reply to sweetsub1957)
Profile   Post #: 28
RE: Questions on Collaring - 6/11/2010 11:47:03 PM   
ryanErlanger


Posts: 4
Joined: 5/27/2008
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: whiteslavebitch

http://www.bondagecollars.com/collar.htm


I like http://www.bondagecollars.com/sdcc.htm - Just the right balance between typical adornment and something heavier. A quick touch from an arc welder, and it's got some durability :)

(in reply to whiteslavebitch)
Profile   Post #: 29
RE: Questions on Collaring - 6/11/2010 11:49:59 PM   
ryanErlanger


Posts: 4
Joined: 5/27/2008
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: baedwards

I don't mean to hijack the thread, but I have a general collar question.

If you saw someone wearing a necklace with a small handcuff charm, would you assume that it was a collar?

The reason I ask is that I have a necklace like that...one I bought myself. I thought it would be a nifty way to advertise my submissive status (or at least interest in bdsm in general) and most vanilla folks would think it was just a cute necklace...or that I wear it as a keepsake of my job (I worked in a law enforcement office).

Now I'm wondering if its defeating the purpose I intended it for by suggesting that I'm collared.....


I'd give the person a little smile. If s/he is collared, s/he'd probably have a tad moment of self consciousness... if not, I'll fade into the background of a million forgotten interactions.

(in reply to baedwards)
Profile   Post #: 30
RE: Questions on Collaring - 6/12/2010 1:20:41 AM   
IronBear


Posts: 9008
Joined: 6/19/2005
From: Beenleigh, Qld, Australia
Status: offline 		I prefer a formal approach yet relaxed enough to be sharing a cup of tea or coffee. I do require the slave to beg for release but this does not need to be melodramatic, but rather a simple "Master I beg for release". I'd like to know the whys and wherefores and if possible I would prefer the release to be as amicable as possible. Not all releases are for "crimes committed, imaginary or real". There may be family or medical reason, employment opportunities at a distant place. Unless I am tossing the girl out for sever breaches like trying to split Neets and I up so that when I cut the collar off and throw it in the blast furnace to totally destroy it, she ceases to exist for me. Other than that I want her to know she is welcome to talk to me any time and call for help if I am able to give it.

Collar wise, I have a preference for maile ones or a circular bar of stainless steel with hised hinge, catch and if possible a hidden micro lock. These differ from the heaver ones for BDSM activities where she will have chains attached to the collar. on other occasions I prefer a collar to look beautiful and something as girl will be proud to wear at work, with her family or even at church.  I'm happy to make her an over the top heavy armoured collar replete with long spikes etc for visits to a dungeon and attach a chain to it in lieu of a normal plated rope or leather leash.

Another collar we have, or Neets has may not be familiar to some here but it is a Mistress Collar. Taken to the extreme, this could pass for a Grand Duchess entering a Royal Ball with her sparling diamond and ruby large neck piece/collar (You'd need to be able to carry this off though and look like Royalty)

For me I may wear a plated Gold and Silver Celtic Torc with upper arm and wrist bands of bi-graved bronze. Just depends on nwhat elsew I choose to wear.. Elegant frock coat with vest and lace at the neck and cuffs (suit and vest of leather of course), or something in night combat mode but in both cases, with almost knee high, highly polished riding boots.


_____________________________

Iron Bear

Master of Bruin Cottage

http://www.bruincottage.org

Your attitude, words & actions are yours. Take responsibility for them and the consequences they incur.

D.I.L.L.I.G.A.F.

(in reply to sweetsub1957)
Profile   Post #: 31
RE: Questions on Collaring - 6/12/2010 2:24:49 AM   
reynardfox


Posts: 417
Joined: 9/8/2009
Status: offline 		collars and release, all in your second post, too.
Impressive whirlwind relationship you have in mind there.
I'm still playing with girls I met 30 years ago, so I can't advise you there.
Wearing collars in public is sooooooo needy, on both parts.

(in reply to mimi400400)
Profile   Post #: 32
RE: Questions on Collaring - 6/12/2010 2:27:19 AM   
reynardfox


Posts: 417
Joined: 9/8/2009
Status: offline 		Jeffff, never, ever change. Not for a second. This place needs you, you are an antidote to all the self important assholes on here. I've seen your avatar a thousand time and it still messes me up.

(in reply to Jeffff)
Profile   Post #: 33
RE: Questions on Collaring - 6/12/2010 7:46:18 AM   
IronBear


Posts: 9008
Joined: 6/19/2005
From: Beenleigh, Qld, Australia
Status: offline 		There is a huge difference between self assured' experienced  and self important assholes. I willm grant you that there are one or two of them here too. 

_____________________________

Iron Bear

Master of Bruin Cottage

http://www.bruincottage.org

Your attitude, words & actions are yours. Take responsibility for them and the consequences they incur.

D.I.L.L.I.G.A.F.

(in reply to reynardfox)
Profile   Post #: 34
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