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So, this whole "forced" fantasy thing... - 6/6/2010 4:40:24 PM   
MissAsylum


Posts: 1863
Joined: 1/9/2009
Status: offline 		...i don't get it. Its a certain type that i'm not understanding. Its the "forcing a straight man to suck a man's dick(or other homosexual situation)" type that i don't get. i sort of understand that it can be hot to be "forced" to do something outside of your comfort zone, but i personally find it a bit odd when its a perfectly mapped out and specific fantasy. wouldn't there already a curiosity or a want to actually try a gay fantasy? why does there need to be a forceful element involved?
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RE: So, this whole "forced" fantasy thing... - 6/6/2010 4:44:56 PM   
PeonForHer


Posts: 19612
Joined: 9/27/2008
Status: offline 		The answer's simple, really: motivations aren't simple.

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RE: So, this whole "forced" fantasy thing... - 6/6/2010 5:01:41 PM   
LadyHibiscus


Posts: 27124
Joined: 8/15/2005
From: Island Of Misfit Toys
Status: offline 		Much of the time, it's not so much "forcing" as "giving permission". Also, I can see where for a submissive it would be pushing a limit--how far would I go to please her? Him?

Haven't you ever done something that you really didn't care to do to please a loved one?

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RE: So, this whole "forced" fantasy thing... - 6/6/2010 5:06:46 PM   
MC4Misfit


Posts: 72
Joined: 3/31/2010
Status: offline 		Well everyone is different, so I don't think there is any one single answer.  I do believe that a very common one would be that deep down they want to do it, but they feel guilty about their desire. The "force" allows them to indulge their fantasy without accepting the guilt.  They can always say "it's not my fault!  I was forced to do it.!"


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RE: So, this whole "forced" fantasy thing... - 6/6/2010 5:10:26 PM   
LadyNTrainer


Posts: 1584
Joined: 5/20/2009
Status: offline 		I'll play that way at times, but I admit that I find it a lot hotter and that I respect a submissive a lot more if he takes full personal responsibility for his own sexuality and is open, honest and proud about who he is and what he desires.

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RE: So, this whole "forced" fantasy thing... - 6/6/2010 5:12:22 PM   
ourmsbetty


Posts: 266
Joined: 9/4/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: MissAsylum

...i don't get it. Its a certain type that i'm not understanding. Its the "forcing a straight man to suck a man's dick(or other homosexual situation)" type that i don't get. i sort of understand that it can be hot to be "forced" to do something outside of your comfort zone, but i personally find it a bit odd when its a perfectly mapped out and specific fantasy. wouldn't there already a curiosity or a want to actually try a gay fantasy? why does there need to be a forceful element involved?


Because it's about the power she wields over the he. What's hot about it is how deep the submission goes. For some it is a very big turn on to know that someone has that much power and can make them do something so alien.

If you saw the thread in which Peon and LadyPact wrote out that wonderfully hot story then you saw some insight into the dynamic.

The Domme thinks seeing two men together is hot. The sub wants to please her, therefore he obeys her wish to see it

He doesn't have gay fantasies on his own because he isn't gay. He gets off on the submission.

Recently a boy let me take a cane to his balls. He did not want the cane. It hurt and he hated every second of it, but he loved submitting that deeply to something that far out of his zone.

Same thing with the forced bi. It's the force that's the turn on, not the other guy.

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RE: So, this whole "forced" fantasy thing... - 6/6/2010 5:28:35 PM   
tazzygirl


Posts: 37833
Joined: 10/12/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: MC4Misfit

Well everyone is different, so I don't think there is any one single answer.  I do believe that a very common one would be that deep down they want to do it, but they feel guilty about their desire. The "force" allows them to indulge their fantasy without accepting the guilt.  They can always say "it's not my fault!  I was forced to do it.!"




This.

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RE: So, this whole "forced" fantasy thing... - 6/6/2010 5:43:45 PM   
LadyPact


Posts: 32566
Status: offline 		You don't get it?  There's a thread in the off topic section you should be reading.

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RE: So, this whole "forced" fantasy thing... - 6/6/2010 5:43:52 PM   
sweetsub1957


Posts: 2201
Joined: 4/28/2009
Status: offline 		~Fast Reply~
Since i don't see how something you want to be "forced" to do can really be forced, i think it has more to do with being given "permission" to do something they feel deep down is taboo. i do think if there's a specific "forced fantasy" someone has, there must already be some kind of curiosity there at least. But if they're "forced" they can't help it & don't feel guilty because they "have to do it," but "secretly" they really enjoy it. i think that's the reasoning, conscious or not, behind a lot of "forced" fantasies, no matter what the subject is.But that's just my opinion.

~sweetsub~

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RE: So, this whole "forced" fantasy thing... - 6/6/2010 5:46:31 PM   
LuckyAlbatross


Posts: 19224
Joined: 10/25/2005
Status: offline 		Sub for some perhaps, but sometimes it really is simply "I agreed to obey. I don't want to do THIS thing, but I want to obey, so I obey, the THING is irrelevant."

I've been forced to have sex with others- in that I was told to have sex with people I myself would never have chosen and had zero desire or inclination to be with. But I was owned, I obeyed, no big deal.

It is difficult for some people to understand that, at the core, sometimes it's simply "I agreed to be yours" and nothing else.

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RE: So, this whole "forced" fantasy thing... - 6/6/2010 5:49:31 PM   
littlewonder


Posts: 15659
Status: offline 		What LuckyAlbatross said.

Sometimes I'm forced to do things that I would absolutely not do, have zero interest in doing but I do it because I'm owned and I agreed to obey him no matter what.

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RE: So, this whole "forced" fantasy thing... - 6/6/2010 5:56:32 PM   
xxblushesxx


Posts: 9318
Joined: 11/3/2005
From: Kentucky
Status: offline 		yes, but I don't think the question was about guys who all of a sudden are told by their mistresses to suck c***. I believe the question was more about the sub fantasies about being "forced" to do so, and how they can be "forced" when it is something they want. Those fantasies are often part of a sub's fantasies long before the sub male has met said dom(me)

I also think alot of it has to do with the taboo. And also to do with their own secret desire to suck a c***. I'd say 90% (or more) of my calls involve this as part of the fantasy.

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RE: So, this whole "forced" fantasy thing... - 6/6/2010 6:14:08 PM   
MissAsylum


Posts: 1863
Joined: 1/9/2009
Status: offline 		FR the only time i have ever did something that i didnt want to do is when i was living at home with my mom. and thats why i moved out. in my relationships- i have done things in terms of "go along to get along" but never have i felt forced to do something. i can understand what you guys are saying, but just me personally, if i dont like what something entails- i wont do it. thats just me.

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RE: So, this whole "forced" fantasy thing... - 6/6/2010 8:24:39 PM   
sweetsub1957


Posts: 2201
Joined: 4/28/2009
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: sweetsub1957

~Fast Reply~
Since i don't see how something you want to be "forced" to do can really be forced, i think it has more to do with being given "permission" to do something they feel deep down is taboo. i do think if there's a specific "forced fantasy" someone has, there must already be some kind of curiosity there at least. But if they're "forced" they can't help it & don't feel guilty because they "have to do it," but "secretly" they really enjoy it. i think that's the reasoning, conscious or not, behind a lot of "forced" fantasies, no matter what the subject is.But that's just my opinion.

~sweetsub~

The reason i bolded some of the words in my own quote was to bring attention to my reasoning. Since i was evidently misunderstood by some, i thought it would be a good idea to explain myself more. i was speaking about specific forced fantasies that someone already has. If they already have a fantasy about being made to do a specific thing, that's different than being forced to do something you've never fantasized about, such has having sex with others when you never wanted to.

~sweetsub~

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Member: Lance's Fag Hags.

"That's not just a chip on her shoulder, that's the whole potato!" ~Lady Angelika~

In lowering yourself to talking behind my back, you're perfectly positioned to kiss my ass.

An it harm none, do what ye wilt.

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RE: So, this whole "forced" fantasy thing... - 6/6/2010 8:27:32 PM   
laurell3


Posts: 6577
Joined: 5/5/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: LuckyAlbatross

"I don't want to do THIS thing, but I want to obey, so I obey, the THING is irrelevant."



This, to me, is the key. It's not about the guy or his cock or whatever other thing you are doing on the direction of the Dom(me). It's about them and pleasing them and for that moment seeing yourself in only the light they see you in. The other thing doesn't exist, only they do.





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RE: So, this whole "forced" fantasy thing... - 6/6/2010 8:41:52 PM   
IronBear


Posts: 9008
Joined: 6/19/2005
From: Beenleigh, Qld, Australia
Status: offline 		I may be wrong in this but I have a feeling that one of the origins in such "Forced" play stems from early days (perhaps a millennium ago), where a leader of a group would require a new member to do something on his command to prove worthiness and loyalty. After all we do have the case of Abraham being prepared to sacrifice hie only (oldest?) son at Jehovah's command. It is also my understanding that such things like drinking urine or some such test is common enough in Outlaw Motorcycle Groups. It wouldn't take much for a Dominant who knows of such things to allow the ego to take over and emulate such events. I pass no judgement for or against because I do believe that each incident is unique and can't be covered in a blanket approval or opinion against. I should say that such things too are or were prevalent in the College (University) hazing as part of initiation to a specific group of people. Just not my personal cup of tea and yet under certain circumstances I could do something similar. never been there so don't know for sure. 

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RE: So, this whole "forced" fantasy thing... - 6/6/2010 8:43:48 PM   
PeonForHer


Posts: 19612
Joined: 9/27/2008
Status: offline 		FR,

I've articulated my own answer elsewhere.  It'll vary from sub to sub.  But I will say this - beware of statements that are repeated so often that people believe that they just must be true.  And also beware of attributing the same motivations (note the plural, there - it's crucial) to every sub. 

Re myself:  no, it doesn't have anything to do with guilt or refusing to recognise or 'own' (to use the preferred term of the latest generation of psychoquacks) - my own desires.   *Chuckle* - gawd - are we ever going to move on from Freud-for-Beginners? 



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RE: So, this whole "forced" fantasy thing... - 6/6/2010 8:51:04 PM   
IronBear


Posts: 9008
Joined: 6/19/2005
From: Beenleigh, Qld, Australia
Status: offline 		Ayep move on to Jung, much better and balanced



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Master of Bruin Cottage

http://www.bruincottage.org

Your attitude, words & actions are yours. Take responsibility for them and the consequences they incur.

D.I.L.L.I.G.A.F.

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RE: So, this whole "forced" fantasy thing... - 6/6/2010 9:44:35 PM   
LadyAngelika


Posts: 8070
Joined: 7/4/2004
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: MissAsylum

FR the only time i have ever did something that i didnt want to do is when i was living at home with my mom. and thats why i moved out. in my relationships- i have done things in terms of "go along to get along" but never have i felt forced to do something. i can understand what you guys are saying, but just me personally, if i dont like what something entails- i wont do it. thats just me.


Yeah, but you are a top and a d-type, aren't you? I mean without making a broad sweeping statement that would exclude someone's kink, most tops/d-types aren't into being forced. It's perhaps normal that you don't understand why someone would want to be forced to do something.

Perhaps at some point if you get close to someone who has a desire to be forced to do something and you have a chance to talk through with them about their desires on a really intimate level, you might understand why it is important for that one person.

Until then, a wise young brit sub once wrote:

quote:

ORIGINAL: PeonForHer

The answer's simple, really: motivations aren't simple.


- LA

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RE: So, this whole "forced" fantasy thing... - 6/6/2010 10:09:40 PM   
aldompdx


Posts: 538
Joined: 10/24/2004
Status: offline 		Some people must diminish others to feel empowered.
Some here seem to contend that it is acceptable "kink."

Well, the U.S. electorate voted and thus consented to receive such "kink" from Bush/Cheney for 8 years. The dichotomy cuts both ways.

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