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Pet peeve: Inaccurate "Actively seeking" - 5/26/2010 9:31:01 PM

Farabor

Posts: 4
Joined: 3/4/2007
Status: offline

A pet peeve has come up several times today, and I felt the need to get it off my chest, and to see if anyone else had thoughts on the subject.

So, I'm using the search feature to skim dozens, if not hundreds of profiles, looking for that rare person who might be someone I can connect with. One of the basic limiting factors I include is "Actively seeking submissive men." So, it confuses me when I start to read through someone's profile, and I get "NO MEN." or "NO SUBMISSIVE MEN", or some other variant.

This disturbs me on multiple levels. First, there's the fact that a valuable resource (my time), is being wasted...why include yourself as actively seeking men if you don't want them? Second, it includes these people on the list of searches by other, less intelligent individuals, who are likely to spam email them with inappropriate stuff...and thus perpetuate the idea that all/most men here are idiots/can't read/etc. It does a disservice to the whole community..

Thoughts?

Post #: 1

RE: Pet peeve: Inaccurate "Actively seeking" - 5/26/2010 9:34:45 PM

stef

Posts: 10215
Joined: 1/26/2004
Status: offline

You've been a member here since 2007 and when you finally decide to post, it's to whine about people's profiles? Your behavior does a disservice to the whole community.

~stef

_____________________________

Welcome to PoliticSpace! If you came here expecting meaningful BDSM discussions, boy are you in the wrong place.

"Hypocrisy has consequences"

(in reply to Farabor)

Post #: 2

RE: Pet peeve: Inaccurate "Actively seeking" - 5/26/2010 9:39:55 PM

DarkSteven

Posts: 28072
Joined: 5/2/2008
Status: offline

You have to be kidding.I remember when there was no Internet. We'd have to meet peopl offline.

Now, by your own admission, you are actively plowing through hundreds of profiles. Do you realize how powerful the Internet is, how quickly you can scan the profiles? Do you realize that the admins and mods here are volunteers? You have SO much to make things easier for you.

And yet you whine about how your valuable time gets wasted.

_____________________________

"You women....

The small-breasted ones want larger breasts. The large-breasted ones want smaller ones. The straight-haired ones curl their hair, and the curly-haired ones straighten theirs...

Quit fretting. We men love you."

(in reply to stef)

Post #: 3

RE: Pet peeve: Inaccurate "Actively seeking" - 5/26/2010 9:52:25 PM

DCWoody

Posts: 1401
Joined: 10/27/2006
Status: offline

The man has a point, I've noticed that now and again.....I'm sure we can all agree that simultaneously saying 'actively seeking dominant men' and 'no men, male messages will be blocked unread' is, at the very least, unhelpful. It's not exactly the biggest problem on the other side though.....

(in reply to DarkSteven)

Post #: 4

RE: Pet peeve: Inaccurate "Actively seeking" - 5/26/2010 10:20:13 PM

tigreetsa

Posts: 132
Joined: 4/30/2010
From: SW London
Status: offline

While I understand the OP's frustration I think his expectation that everyone on a BDSM site to communicate and behave in a logical or even understandable manner is a tad unrealistic.

_____________________________

'There are many here among us who feel that life is but a joke
But you and I we've been through that
And that is not our fate
So let us not talk falsely now, the hour is getting late.'
All Along The Watchtower (Bob Dylan)

(in reply to Farabor)

Post #: 5

RE: Pet peeve: Inaccurate "Actively seeking" - 5/26/2010 10:32:21 PM

VaguelyCurious

Posts: 5264
Joined: 12/2/2009
From: United Kingdom
Status: offline

FR

I have *nothing* ticked on 'actively seeking' and with all due respect to your (nonsense) theory that I would get less spam as a result I still get spammed to all fuck.
Actually, make that with no respect to your theory at all-because I can tell you first hand that it is rubbish.

_____________________________

Sthetic on FetLife.

(in reply to tigreetsa)

Post #: 6

RE: Pet peeve: Inaccurate "Actively seeking" - 5/26/2010 10:34:20 PM

Rule

Posts: 10479
Joined: 12/5/2005
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Farabor
One of the basic limiting factors I include is "Actively seeking submissive men." So, it confuses me when I start to read through someone's profile, and I get "NO MEN." or "NO SUBMISSIVE MEN", or some other variant.

Thoughts?

The solution to me is obvious: do not include that basic limiting factor and the problem will disappear as if by magic.

(in reply to Farabor)

Post #: 7

RE: Pet peeve: Inaccurate "Actively seeking" - 5/26/2010 11:28:57 PM

GreedyTop

Posts: 52100
Joined: 5/2/2007
From: Savannah, GA
Status: offline

um, perhaps the person who made the profile didnt tick all the appropriate boxes? I know that I didn't tick a lot of the boxes when I first signed up....

_____________________________

polysnortatious
Supreme Goddess of Snark
CHARTER MEMBER: Lance's Fag Hags!
Waiting for my madman in a Blue Box.

(in reply to Rule)

Post #: 8

RE: Pet peeve: Inaccurate "Actively seeking" - 5/27/2010 1:33:53 AM

xxblushesxx

Posts: 9318
Joined: 11/3/2005
From: Kentucky
Status: offline

Rumour has it she's ticked plenty since then though!

*runs*

_____________________________

~Christina

A nice girl with a disturbing hobby

My femdom findom blog: http://www.MistressAvarice.com

(in reply to GreedyTop)

Post #: 9

RE: Pet peeve: Inaccurate "Actively seeking" - 5/27/2010 1:44:15 AM

sunshinemiss

Posts: 17673
Joined: 11/26/2007
Status: offline

I've heard GT has ticked *off* a few as well.

To the OP:
Glad you feel better. Now if you had been on the forums awhile, you would know there is a thread here. It is called "I Hate it When" and your post would have nicely fit into it.

I do hope you will use your time more wisely by... ohhh I don't know... meeting people in real life? There is a surprising number of people on the boards who know each other real life. That could be an option for you.

Good luck,
sunshine

_____________________________

Yes, I am a wonton hussy... and still sweet as 3.14

(in reply to xxblushesxx)

Post #: 10

RE: Pet peeve: Inaccurate "Actively seeking" - 5/27/2010 3:13:10 AM

CarrieO

Posts: 2432
Joined: 1/27/2008
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Farabor

...I start to read through someone's profile...

Well, atleast someone's reading profiles.

OP, May I suggest along with scanning hundreds of profiles that you also check out some local munches.
http://www.drkdesyre.com/meetppl/orgs/orgsflorida.html That should help you get started. Enjoy and don't forget to smile....this is suppose to be fun!

_____________________________

"No matter what happens in the kitchen, never apologize"~Julia Child~

(in reply to Farabor)

Post #: 11

RE: Pet peeve: Inaccurate "Actively seeking" - 5/27/2010 5:09:59 AM

LadyAngelika

Posts: 8070
Joined: 7/4/2004
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: VaguelyCurious

FR

I have *nothing* ticked on 'actively seeking' and with all due respect to your (nonsense) theory that I would get less spam as a result I still get spammed to all fuck.
Actually, make that with no respect to your theory at all-because I can tell you first hand that it is rubbish.

My experience as well. I get emails from around the world daily of men wanting me to dominate them and I have not only nothing under seeking but my profile actually says that I'm not particularly looking at the moment.

To the OP: This comes with the territory. I'd prefer to focus on the positive that this site gives me. DarkSteven is bang on about this site. So now it's up to you to suck it up or ship it out. Glass half-empty folks are a drag.

- LA

_____________________________

Une main de fer dans un gant de velours ~ An iron hand in a velvet glove

(in reply to VaguelyCurious)

Post #: 12

RE: Pet peeve: Inaccurate "Actively seeking" - 5/27/2010 6:11:40 AM

DomImus

Posts: 2004
Joined: 3/17/2009
Status: offline

It works like this: When someone's profile says that they are "actively seeking submissive men" only to say somewhere else "NO MEN." or "NO SUBMISSIVE MEN"... then they are an idiot and that is your merciful red flag to click the x and move along. Don't complain about it - they just saved you more time and trouble than you spent looking at their profile.

_____________________________

"Regret for the things we did can be tempered by time; it is regret for the things we did not do that is inconsolable." Sidney J. harris

(in reply to Farabor)

Post #: 13

RE: Pet peeve: Inaccurate "Actively seeking" - 5/27/2010 6:20:17 AM

divi

Posts: 11109
Joined: 9/4/2007
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Farabor

A pet peeve has come up several times today, and I felt the need to get it off my chest, and to see if anyone else had thoughts on the subject.

So, I'm using the search feature to skim dozens, if not hundreds of profiles, looking for that rare person who might be someone I can connect with. One of the basic limiting factors I include is "Actively seeking submissive men." So, it confuses me when I start to read through someone's profile, and I get "NO MEN." or "NO SUBMISSIVE MEN", or some other variant.

This disturbs me on multiple levels. First, there's the fact that a valuable resource (my time), is being wasted...why include yourself as actively seeking men if you don't want them? Second, it includes these people on the list of searches by other, less intelligent individuals, who are likely to spam email them with inappropriate stuff...and thus perpetuate the idea that all/most men here are idiots/can't read/etc. It does a disservice to the whole community..

Thoughts?

wah wah wah

_____________________________

( imho )

I really could use a wish right now

(in reply to Farabor)

Post #: 14

RE: Pet peeve: Inaccurate "Actively seeking" - 5/27/2010 6:59:47 AM

windchymes

Posts: 9410
Joined: 4/18/2005
Status: offline

I gotta box you can tick, riiiiiight here.....

_____________________________

You know it's going to be a GOOD blow job when she puts a Breathe Right strip on first.

Pick-up artists and garbage men should trade names.

(in reply to divi)

Post #: 15

RE: Pet peeve: Inaccurate "Actively seeking" - 5/27/2010 7:01:18 AM

divi

Posts: 11109
Joined: 9/4/2007
Status: offline

I wanna tick your box baby
(stole that from some cmer )

_____________________________

( imho )

I really could use a wish right now

(in reply to windchymes)

Post #: 16

RE: Pet peeve: Inaccurate "Actively seeking" - 5/27/2010 7:12:12 AM

windchymes

Posts: 9410
Joined: 4/18/2005
Status: offline

I'm just going to sit here and hope divi really wants to tick my box and didn't just use the default reply

_____________________________

You know it's going to be a GOOD blow job when she puts a Breathe Right strip on first.

Pick-up artists and garbage men should trade names.

(in reply to divi)

Post #: 17

RE: Pet peeve: Inaccurate "Actively seeking" - 5/27/2010 7:16:28 AM

divi

Posts: 11109
Joined: 9/4/2007
Status: offline

darling I want to do more then just tick it...
You're one of my hotties on my who to do list

_____________________________

( imho )

I really could use a wish right now

(in reply to windchymes)

Post #: 18

RE: Pet peeve: Inaccurate "Actively seeking" - 5/27/2010 7:18:44 AM

pahunkboy

Posts: 33061
Joined: 2/26/2006
From: Central Pennsylvania
Status: offline

I think he is rather cute.

(in reply to divi)

Post #: 19

RE: Pet peeve: Inaccurate "Actively seeking" - 5/27/2010 7:20:08 AM

domiguy

Posts: 12952
Joined: 5/2/2006
Status: offline

A tad bit mulletish and an overall inappropriate length of hair.

_____________________________

(in reply to divi)

Post #: 20

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