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ORIGINAL: leadership527

To me, this has "seek trained professional advice" written all over it.

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ORIGINAL: Me2010

I am in need of some advice as this is not something I have experienced to this degree before.

I hesitate the phrase multiple personality, but it is the closest I can imagine at the moment.

Background.....
My sub/babygirl...fresh to the lifestyle (in a hands on physical sense), not into age or role play, and is about as dominant/bratty/independent/stuborn as they come in everyday life. Late 20's, degreed, healthy mind body and soul, normal/non traumatic childhood, though not a lot of intimate relationship experience in general (up until a few years back was "saving" herself for marrage). We have been together for a few months now, are very good friends and have a strong foundation to our relationship. She has been "submissive" for longer than she can remember and was surprised/disappointed when she eventually learned that not all men are "Dominant", most particularly in the matters of sexuality.

As mentioned, in her everyday life she is anything but submissive, and this is why I have noticed this to such an extreme....this being, that when we are together and alone in a heavily intimate situation there is like a switch that gets turned on (or off) and she becomes this playful, innocent, vulnerable, giggly, shy, unguarded girl. On its own (or stereotypically) such a thing is not foriegn to me at all, but with her it is such a night and day /opposite persona (that doesnt show itself even a little bit "afterward" in her daily persona) that it got me to thinking...and this is why. When we were together a couple weeks back (intimately) and while in this "state" we were discussing a few things while in bed and a topic came up where I told her.. "I will not harm you". Her responce was "but I want you to hurt me". She is a bit of a masocist and has a fairly high threshold for pain. When I told her about this later she said she did not remember saying it...didnt mean anything at the time because we were both pretty "high" from the nights events.
Last night while we were together, just after some heavy petting and carressing / forplay...I was kissing my way from her neck down her body and I heard her say "Im scared". I looked up and she was holding her blanket against her face with her little eyes peeking over..I thought it was adorable. Made sure she was ok (she wasnt at all scared) and continued. I heard it at least two other times last night...nothing really "heavy" was going on, perhaps emotionally/sensually but not physically to cause her to say that.
Now here is the rub....I had a feeling I already knew the answer but when I asked her early today she told me she doesnt remember telling me she was scared. I had also noticed that as we were laying there afterward closer to fading off into sleep, she had "switched" back to her everyday persona (for lack of a better way to describe it).

I plan on discussing this with her after work this evening but wanted to drop by here first to see what input, experiences, perspective others might be able to share with me.

thank you ahead of time for your assistance and knowledge.

Me.

*edit...seems she "kinda" remembers it (at least that one time), but it seems more like it was a dream. That feels better to me anyway that she at least "kinda" remembers it...I am more apt to write it off as subspace now, though would still appreciate your input.  Ty.

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ORIGINAL: she100

Seems to me that she is able to be her self with You and feel safe enough to be so. In 'sub space' there is only the 'truth' the vulnerable lil girl that she maybe has never been allowed to be, hence why she is not sub in her everyday life and most subs aren't anyway.

Don't feel any split personality at all or need for professional help, just her need to be vulnerable for whatever reasons she has. If she experienced past abuse there is no need to try to make her remember in any hurry because if Your relationship progresses and Your need to understand her carries on growing it will all come together and bits of her missing puzzle will start to fit into place in her own time.

From Your post it seems to me that You are doing the right thing, You are learning about her and in turn she will learn about herself. listening to her and being there for her and all the kink will bring about her healing and true nature and could lead to a totally fullfilling and perfect relationship!

I hope that made some sense :s

I wish you both all the best xxx

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ORIGINAL: DesFIP

Sounds like little girl headspace to me. You might want to do some research on D/lg.

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ORIGINAL: DesFIP

You're guessing that people only do D/lg if they come from bad parents. That isn't always the case, it's not uncommon for someone to recall that as a very happy time of their life and seek to recapture it. Talk, don't assume.