Multiple/split Personas.....? Need intelleget input please.

Multiple/split Personas.....? Need intelleget input please. (Full Version)

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Me2010 -> Multiple/split Personas.....? Need intelleget input please. (4/28/2010 3:08:03 PM)
I am in need of some advice as this is not something I have experienced to this degree before. I hesitate the phrase multiple personality, but it is the closest I can imagine at the moment. Background..... My sub/babygirl...fresh to the lifestyle (in a hands on physical sense), not into age or role play, and is about as dominant/bratty/independent/stuborn as they come in everyday life. Late 20's, degreed, healthy mind body and soul, normal/non traumatic childhood, though not a lot of intimate relationship experience in general (up until a few years back was "saving" herself for marrage). We have been together for a few months now, are very good friends and have a strong foundation to our relationship. She has been "submissive" for longer than she can remember and was surprised/disappointed when she eventually learned that not all men are "Dominant", most particularly in the matters of sexuality. As mentioned, in her everyday life she is anything but submissive, and this is why I have noticed this to such an extreme....this being, that when we are together and alone in a heavily intimate situation there is like a switch that gets turned on (or off) and she becomes this playful, innocent, vulnerable, giggly, shy, unguarded girl. On its own (or stereotypically) such a thing is not foriegn to me at all, but with her it is such a night and day /opposite persona (that doesnt show itself even a little bit "afterward" in her daily persona) that it got me to thinking...and this is why. When we were together a couple weeks back (intimately) and while in this "state" we were discussing a few things while in bed and a topic came up where I told her.. "I will not harm you". Her responce was "but I want you to hurt me". She is a bit of a masocist and has a fairly high threshold for pain. When I told her about this later she said she did not remember saying it...didnt mean anything at the time because we were both pretty "high" from the nights events. Last night while we were together, just after some heavy petting and carressing / forplay...I was kissing my way from her neck down her body and I heard her say "Im scared". I looked up and she was holding her blanket against her face with her little eyes peeking over..I thought it was adorable. Made sure she was ok (she wasnt at all scared) and continued. I heard it at least two other times last night...nothing really "heavy" was going on, perhaps emotionally/sensually but not physically to cause her to say that. Now here is the rub....I had a feeling I already knew the answer but when I asked her early today she told me she doesnt remember telling me she was scared. I had also noticed that as we were laying there afterward closer to fading off into sleep, she had "switched" back to her everyday persona (for lack of a better way to describe it). I plan on discussing this with her after work this evening but wanted to drop by here first to see what input, experiences, perspective others might be able to share with me. thank you ahead of time for your assistance and knowledge. Me. *edit...seems she "kinda" remembers it (at least that one time), but it seems more like it was a dream. That feels better to me anyway that she at least "kinda" remembers it...I am more apt to write it off as subspace now, though would still appreciate your input. Ty.

ResidentSadist -> RE: Multiple/split Personas.....? Need intelleget input please. (4/28/2010 4:03:52 PM)
[edit] . . .

domiguy -> RE: Multiple/split Personas.....? Need intelleget input please. (4/28/2010 4:11:45 PM)
You need to really fuck with her. when she is in her "other" state you should cut off one of her nips or a big chunk of labia or something. Then blame it on that damn neighbor kid down the way. You will soon have a pretty good idea if she is a faker or not.

DarkSteven -> RE: Multiple/split Personas.....? Need intelleget input please. (4/28/2010 4:42:10 PM)
As you seem to know, classical DID (used to be MPD) is a result of severe childhood trauma, which does not seem to be the case. It sounds like she does have some dissociation but not full blown DID.

masmiss -> RE: Multiple/split Personas.....? Need intelleget input please. (4/28/2010 4:51:23 PM)
edited

chellekitty -> RE: Multiple/split Personas.....? Need intelleget input please. (4/28/2010 4:55:35 PM)
DID can also be caused by extreme/lengthy childhood medical proceedures

kiwisub12 -> RE: Multiple/split Personas.....? Need intelleget input please. (4/28/2010 5:46:54 PM)
Sounds to me that she lets her vulnerability show as a young child. If she had multiple personality it would be showing at stressful situations. which i guess you could call sex, but from what i have read, wouldn't be typical - the other personalities come out at specific situations to deal with them.

leadership527 -> RE: Multiple/split Personas.....? Need intelleget input please. (4/28/2010 6:48:00 PM)
To me, this has "seek trained professional advice" written all over it. It may be nothing, then again, maybe not. But if I were you, I'd feel like I was dancing around in a mine field until I understood what was going on.

domiguy -> RE: Multiple/split Personas.....? Need intelleget input please. (4/28/2010 6:52:00 PM)
I would kick her crazy ass to the curb.

Apocalypso -> RE: Multiple/split Personas.....? Need intelleget input please. (4/28/2010 8:14:58 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: leadership527 To me, this has "seek trained professional advice" written all over it. This. You should no more try and deal with this yourself then you would perform surgery on your sub.

bluefireeyez -> RE: Multiple/split Personas.....? Need intelleget input please. (4/28/2010 8:27:01 PM)
As a person working in the mental health field, I have to back up what others have said and go with seek professional advice. That being said, the senarios you describe remind me of a dissociative state more than DID. You can look up information on this on the web. This may be a good place to start: http://www.isst-d.org/education/faq-dissociation.htm One thing I would suggest is that if she does seem out of character to stop whatever activities you are currently doing. Your activities may inadvertantly becausing a reaction from her. Also, log when these things occur so when you do see a professional you can tell them what events happen prior to, during, and after she acts like that. If you have any other question message me on the other side.

reynardfox -> RE: Multiple/split Personas.....? Need intelleget input please. (4/29/2010 12:22:54 AM)
And if another of her personalities turns out to be Hermione the cock slasher? Make sure she looks for qualified help, before you need it yourself.

she100 -> RE: Multiple/split Personas.....? Need intelleget input please. (4/29/2010 2:13:24 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Me2010 I am in need of some advice as this is not something I have experienced to this degree before. I hesitate the phrase multiple personality, but it is the closest I can imagine at the moment. Background..... My sub/babygirl...fresh to the lifestyle (in a hands on physical sense), not into age or role play, and is about as dominant/bratty/independent/stuborn as they come in everyday life. Late 20's, degreed, healthy mind body and soul, normal/non traumatic childhood, though not a lot of intimate relationship experience in general (up until a few years back was "saving" herself for marrage). We have been together for a few months now, are very good friends and have a strong foundation to our relationship. She has been "submissive" for longer than she can remember and was surprised/disappointed when she eventually learned that not all men are "Dominant", most particularly in the matters of sexuality. As mentioned, in her everyday life she is anything but submissive, and this is why I have noticed this to such an extreme....this being, that when we are together and alone in a heavily intimate situation there is like a switch that gets turned on (or off) and she becomes this playful, innocent, vulnerable, giggly, shy, unguarded girl. On its own (or stereotypically) such a thing is not foriegn to me at all, but with her it is such a night and day /opposite persona (that doesnt show itself even a little bit "afterward" in her daily persona) that it got me to thinking...and this is why. When we were together a couple weeks back (intimately) and while in this "state" we were discussing a few things while in bed and a topic came up where I told her.. "I will not harm you". Her responce was "but I want you to hurt me". She is a bit of a masocist and has a fairly high threshold for pain. When I told her about this later she said she did not remember saying it...didnt mean anything at the time because we were both pretty "high" from the nights events. Last night while we were together, just after some heavy petting and carressing / forplay...I was kissing my way from her neck down her body and I heard her say "Im scared". I looked up and she was holding her blanket against her face with her little eyes peeking over..I thought it was adorable. Made sure she was ok (she wasnt at all scared) and continued. I heard it at least two other times last night...nothing really "heavy" was going on, perhaps emotionally/sensually but not physically to cause her to say that. Now here is the rub....I had a feeling I already knew the answer but when I asked her early today she told me she doesnt remember telling me she was scared. I had also noticed that as we were laying there afterward closer to fading off into sleep, she had "switched" back to her everyday persona (for lack of a better way to describe it). I plan on discussing this with her after work this evening but wanted to drop by here first to see what input, experiences, perspective others might be able to share with me. thank you ahead of time for your assistance and knowledge. Me. *edit...seems she "kinda" remembers it (at least that one time), but it seems more like it was a dream. That feels better to me anyway that she at least "kinda" remembers it...I am more apt to write it off as subspace now, though would still appreciate your input. Ty. Seems to me that she is able to be her self with You and feel safe enough to be so. In 'sub space' there is only the 'truth' the vulnerable lil girl that she maybe has never been allowed to be, hence why she is not sub in her everyday life and most subs aren't anyway. Don't feel any split personality at all or need for professional help, just her need to be vulnerable for whatever reasons she has. If she experienced past abuse there is no need to try to make her remember in any hurry because if Your relationship progresses and Your need to understand her carries on growing it will all come together and bits of her missing puzzle will start to fit into place in her own time. From Your post it seems to me that You are doing the right thing, You are learning about her and in turn she will learn about herself. listening to her and being there for her and all the kink will bring about her healing and true nature and could lead to a totally fullfilling and perfect relationship! I hope that made some sense :s I wish you both all the best xxx

DesFIP -> RE: Multiple/split Personas.....? Need intelleget input please. (4/29/2010 4:10:32 AM)
Sounds like little girl headspace to me. You might want to do some research on D/lg.

Statepalace -> RE: Multiple/split Personas.....? Need intelleget input please. (4/29/2010 8:42:02 PM)
It sounds pretty typical for a good scene, but that's just my experience. Losing a bit of time during a scene, or feeling very "little", is something that happens to me quite often. In discussing a scene afterwards I've more than once been told that what felt like 15 minutes was really 90, and I've been asked (and answered!) questions that I have NO recollection of at all. I get spacey very easily, and that's one of the reasons I don't engage in play with people that don't know me well. I highly recommend Dossie Easton and Janet Hardy, authors of "The New Topping Book" and "The New Bottoming Book", and "Radical Ecstasy". "The Ethical Slut" is theirs as well, and while good isn't entirely relevant. I just like using the word 'slut' whenever I can :) All of these books have real life examples of the kind of funny/funky/scary/amazing stuff that can bubble up out of our psyches when we play. Plus, some very practical advice on what to do if you partner's head starts to go someplace you didn't want it to go for that scene.

Me2010 -> RE: Multiple/split Personas.....? Need intelleget input please. (4/30/2010 2:58:29 PM)
Yeah, that is pretty much what I am getting from it as well. I was concerned when she told me she didnt remember, but then after thinking back she did, though a dream like state. When we talked a couple days ago she mentioned a couple things I said to her as well as her replies during that same state. Little girl head space.... Think it is time to delve a little deeper into her childhood then, all I really know is that she was raised fairly strict Catholic and I think rebelled in her mid teens. She still holds pretty close to her Catholic background so I dont think it is the church she rebelled from...may have more to do with her parents. Thanks. One thing I have always envied about subs...their luxury to just let go and float away. quote: ORIGINAL: she100 Seems to me that she is able to be her self with You and feel safe enough to be so. In 'sub space' there is only the 'truth' the vulnerable lil girl that she maybe has never been allowed to be, hence why she is not sub in her everyday life and most subs aren't anyway. Don't feel any split personality at all or need for professional help, just her need to be vulnerable for whatever reasons she has. If she experienced past abuse there is no need to try to make her remember in any hurry because if Your relationship progresses and Your need to understand her carries on growing it will all come together and bits of her missing puzzle will start to fit into place in her own time. From Your post it seems to me that You are doing the right thing, You are learning about her and in turn she will learn about herself. listening to her and being there for her and all the kink will bring about her healing and true nature and could lead to a totally fullfilling and perfect relationship! I hope that made some sense :s I wish you both all the best xxx

DesFIP -> RE: Multiple/split Personas.....? Need intelleget input please. (4/30/2010 7:24:10 PM)
You're guessing that people only do D/lg if they come from bad parents. That isn't always the case, it's not uncommon for someone to recall that as a very happy time of their life and seek to recapture it. Talk, don't assume.

Aynne88 -> RE: Multiple/split Personas.....? Need intelleget input please. (4/30/2010 8:01:29 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: DesFIP Sounds like little girl headspace to me. You might want to do some research on D/lg. That....or maybe some denial/drama.

ResidentSadist -> RE: Multiple/split Personas.....? Need intelleget input please. (4/30/2010 10:53:44 PM)
...

Me2010 -> RE: Multiple/split Personas.....? Need intelleget input please. (5/1/2010 11:32:45 AM)
I wasnt the one assuming :). I was simply stating a little background info and certainly did not categorize anything as bad. As I mentioned in the OP, she had a normal/non traumatic childhood. Parents and religion are usually my best places to begin, especially were little girls are concerned. Now that I dont have to worry about a PD, I am going to explore and have some fun with her when I notice she has faded into her space. First two that come to mind is whispering a "secret word" in her ear, have her to repeat it, then see if she remembers it the next morning. Other is ask her "Whats your name pretty girl?" and notice what tone and style of voice she answers me in. quote: ORIGINAL: DesFIP You're guessing that people only do D/lg if they come from bad parents. That isn't always the case, it's not uncommon for someone to recall that as a very happy time of their life and seek to recapture it. Talk, don't assume.

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