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Submissive Tops - 4/28/2010 12:25:40 AM

PlayfulMasterJ

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I think more than a few Doms are really Subs who like to be the 'dooer'. Being in control physically but mentally submissive to another.

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RE: Submissive Tops - 4/28/2010 12:27:25 AM

GreedyTop

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yes.. and?

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RE: Submissive Tops - 4/28/2010 2:04:52 AM

reynardfox

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You worked that out all by yourself?

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RE: Submissive Tops - 4/28/2010 2:11:17 AM

VaguelyCurious

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[sarcasm] Insightful...[/sarcasm]

Y'know BDSM is a spectrum, right? Or rather, a series of spectra. So you can take any two adjectives, as long as they are from different spectra (and sometimes even from the same spectrum-people can be contradictory...) and if you put them together there will be someone who displays both.

Submissive + Top = Not really that much of an imagination stretcher.

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RE: Submissive Tops - 4/28/2010 4:30:01 AM

DesFIP

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So you saw this couple, and she told him that she wanted something/didn't want something and he being a loving partner decided to do it for her. And from the fact that they are loving and giving to each other, you've decided that really means she has control?

Says something about your ability to have a long lasting relationship if you can't ever see doing something for someone you claim to care for.

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RE: Submissive Tops - 4/28/2010 5:44:04 AM

DarkSteven

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TO be honest, OP, I think that you described the dynamic well, but I'm not sure what terms you would assign to the partners.

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RE: Submissive Tops - 4/28/2010 6:24:08 AM

allthatjaz

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quote:

ORIGINAL: DarkSteven

TO be honest, OP, I think that you described the dynamic well, but I'm not sure what terms you would assign to the partners.

Oh come on Stephen its obvious. The submissive partner is really a Dom/Domme

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RE: Submissive Tops - 4/28/2010 7:23:28 AM

leadership527

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quote:

ORIGINAL: PlayfulMasterJ
I think more than a few Doms are really Subs who like to be the 'dooer'. Being in control physically but mentally submissive to another.

Carol and I are both very switch in an top/bottom sense. I wouldn't call her a domme because she likes to be the dooer. I'd call her a top. And when she's "doing" to me, I'd mostly call me ... well... lucky.

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RE: Submissive Tops - 4/28/2010 7:55:06 AM

ResidentSadist

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Submissive Tops ? You mean "switch"?

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RE: Submissive Tops - 4/28/2010 8:04:27 AM

lusciouslips19

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quote:

ORIGINAL: ResidentSadist

Submissive Tops ? You mean "switch"?

Is that like Bottoming from the top?

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RE: Submissive Tops - 4/28/2010 8:04:39 AM

Wolf2Bear

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quote:

ORIGINAL: PlayfulMasterJ

I think more than a few Doms are really Subs who like to be the 'dooer'. Being in control physically but mentally submissive to another.

On the flip side are dominant bottoms? (who by the way often get falsely labelled as bratty or uncontrollable)

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RE: Submissive Tops - 4/28/2010 8:27:37 AM

Smutmonger

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Sometimes reffered to as the "domissive". And constituting a considerable percentile of the population!

quote:

ORIGINAL: Wolf2Bear

quote:

ORIGINAL: PlayfulMasterJ

I think more than a few Doms are really Subs who like to be the 'dooer'. Being in control physically but mentally submissive to another.

On the flip side are dominant bottoms? (who by the way often get falsely labelled as bratty or uncontrollable)

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RE: Submissive Tops - 4/28/2010 9:02:32 AM

ResidentSadist

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The tongue twister here is that Dom/sub and Top/bottom run independent of each other. Where I come from, when shit gets this garbled, they just call it switching.

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RE: Submissive Tops - 4/28/2010 9:05:47 AM

Smutmonger

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It's usually not a huge concern of mine-since I take pretty much zero bs off of anyone-and have to wish to bottom or submit. I do that enough just to pay the bills.

Last thing I want is to bring it home.

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RE: Submissive Tops - 4/28/2010 9:05:51 AM

allthatjaz

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quote:

ORIGINAL: PlayfulMasterJ

I think more than a few Doms are really Subs who like to be the 'dooer'. Being in control physically but mentally submissive to another.

Actually your right and do you know how I know your right?
When I was single I had as many propositions from male dominants as I had from male submissives. They didn't want to be my dominant, they wanted to be my submissive (but shhhhh don't tell anyone!)
It was always the ones who shouted the loudest and seemed the most dominantly ruthless too.
But don't worry, I won't name names

< Message edited by allthatjaz -- 4/28/2010 9:07:39 AM >

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RE: Submissive Tops - 4/28/2010 11:03:10 AM

pompeii

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quote:

ORIGINAL: PlayfulMasterJ
I think more than a few Doms are really Subs who like to be the 'dooer'. Being in control physically but mentally submissive to another.

And, some Doms (I, for one), are actually pleasure Doms (or whatever we're called). The whole thing, for me anyway, is about HER PLEASURE! So, it's weird that I'm tying her up more for her than for me (well, I enjoy it too, but, if she didn't, I'd not be doing it to her).

If I ball gag her, it's because she LIKES ball gags; were I to spank her, it's because she enjoys sticking her buns up for my palm; and when it comes time to firetruck her, I damn well make sure she comes first (I even have to think of my Mom or something else so as to "turn off", partially ruining all the fun for me as holding back is hard as hell for my overactive hormones), and then after she comes, about a millionth of a second later I allow myself the pleasure to come inside or onto her.

My point is that the Dom is actually, in some cases (well, all I know is one case), in "control" but the whole control is to engineer the orgasmic pleasure of the sub ... as there's nothing like watching and holding and kissing a pleasurably writhing wholly bound and gagged and blindfolded woman underneath you... yummy yummy ...

There, I've said 'enuf.
Ciao,
Pompeii

PS: Still smiling at the "and you worked this out all by yourself" astute observation ... :)

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RE: Submissive Tops - 4/28/2010 11:14:27 AM

pompeii

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Actually, I think "pleasure Top" would be a more apropos description than "pleasure Dom" ...

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RE: Submissive Tops - 4/29/2010 9:24:09 PM

AlexandraLynch

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Well, I think that you can bottom for some things to be done to you and still be dominant. We call submissive tops "Service Tops" usually. (grin) But I have to second Pompeii there about the fun of seeing someone writhing happily under you/on you/before you, whatever. I love reaction, and if I get better, bigger, comes-back-for-more reactions from doing something the other person is into and I'm fine with doing, that's very workable. If he says "I love welts and marks, bring on the cane", then great, aligning kinks! But I don't hold out just to do my kinks; I'd rather ride the wave and have the fun of the interaction and the play, period, rather than be quite so choosy about how exactly it happens. And some things I enjoy having had done to me. I like deep muscle massages. I scream and swear because it can hurt like fuck, but I don't tell him to quit because if it hurts it means I'm getting things realigned the way I want. My massage boy knows that when I let out an "OHFUCKohfuckohfuck" stream of profanity and sob when he pushes on something, that's not "stop", that's "Hold pressure right there until it releases". But he is doing this to me because I told him to, and because I want it to happen, and it is going to hurt on the way through.

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RE: Submissive Tops - 4/30/2010 12:48:00 AM

allthatjaz

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quote:

ORIGINAL: pompeii

And, some Doms (I, for one), are actually pleasure Doms (or whatever we're called). The whole thing, for me anyway, is about HER PLEASURE! So, it's weird that I'm tying her up more for her than for me (well, I enjoy it too, but, if she didn't, I'd not be doing it to her).

If I ball gag her, it's because she LIKES ball gags; were I to spank her, it's because she enjoys sticking her buns up for my palm; and when it comes time to firetruck her, I damn well make sure she comes first (I even have to think of my Mom or something else so as to "turn off", partially ruining all the fun for me as holding back is hard as hell for my overactive hormones), and then after she comes, about a millionth of a second later I allow myself the pleasure to come inside or onto her.

My point is that the Dom is actually, in some cases (well, all I know is one case), in "control" but the whole control is to engineer the orgasmic pleasure of the sub ... as there's nothing like watching and holding and kissing a pleasurably writhing wholly bound and gagged and blindfolded woman underneath you... yummy yummy ...

There, I've said 'enuf.
Ciao,
Pompeii

PS: Still smiling at the "and you worked this out all by yourself" astute observation ... :)

It sounds like an act of loving and I for one think that's a very sound way to be.
Many would mock, laugh and question your motives, especially Doms that believe that to be a Dom you just can't 'ever' be so giving. Personally I think your outlook is a healthy one and I also don't believe that many of the Doms that write to these forums are the full shilling.

< Message edited by allthatjaz -- 4/30/2010 12:49:48 AM >

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RE: Submissive Tops - 4/30/2010 4:35:16 AM

LadyAngelika

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quote:

ORIGINAL: ResidentSadist

The tongue twister here is that Dom/sub and Top/bottom run independent of each other. Where I come from, when shit gets this garbled, they just call it switching.

I make the following distinction: dom/sub switch and top/bottom (of sado/maso) switch.

I am not a dom/sub switch as I'm just not wired that way: my personality is dominant and submitting, whether it is in the realm of wiitwd or in even in a day to day context such as submitting to other people's authority or a set of rules is not something that I do easily, but rather do out of necessity.

I am however an sado/maso switch, predominantly sadistic.

- LA

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