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Sarcasm - 3/30/2010 8:36:08 PM   
LadyAngelika


Posts: 8070
Joined: 7/4/2004
Status: offline 		Alright, I'm not sure if any of you are familiar with the Sarcasm Society, but I think they come out with some real awesome quotes. They recently published their Top 10 Sarcastic Quotes of All Time

10. “Sometimes I need what only you can provide: your absence.” –Ashleigh Brilliant

9. “I feel so miserable without you, it’s almost like having you here.” –Stephen Bishop

8. “I don’t know if God exists, but it would be better for His reputation if He didn’t.” –Jules Renard

7. “I find it rather easy to portray a businessman. Being bland, rather cruel and incompetent comes naturally to me.” –John Cleese

6. “Personal experience makes a believer out of anyone; that explains the hordes of evolution deniers.” –Sarcasm Society

5. “Clothes make the man. Naked people have little or no influence on society.” –Mark Twain

4. “Some cause happiness wherever they go; others whenever they go.” –Oscar Wilde

3. “Reader, suppose you were an idiot. And suppose you were a member of Congress. But I repeat myself.” –Mark Twain

2. “A child of five could understand this. Fetch me a child of five.” –Groucho Marx

1. “If you ever become a mother, can I have one of the puppies?” –Charles Pierce
______

While I find quite a few funny, I'm not sure I would consider them to be the top 10. A few that I adore that are missing

“Two things are infinite: the universe and human stupidity; and I’m not sure about the universe.” ~Albert Einstein

"Think of how stupid the average person is, and realize half of them are stupider than that." -George Carlin

"I think that God in creating Man somewhat overestimated his ability." -Oscar Wilde

And my favourite...

"Your opinions mean as much to me as my facts mean to you." - Unknown
______

What are some of your favourite sarcastic quotes?

- LA

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RE: Sarcasm - 3/30/2010 8:41:22 PM   
DomMeinCT


Posts: 2355
Joined: 5/5/2005
Status: offline 		One of my favorites...

Oscar Wilde again:  “He has no enemies, but is intensely disliked by his friends.”

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RE: Sarcasm - 3/30/2010 8:45:03 PM   
LadyAngelika


Posts: 8070
Joined: 7/4/2004
Status: offline 		Gotta love Wilde! I wonder if he did a Diva snap when he delivered these ;-)

- LA

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RE: Sarcasm - 3/30/2010 8:50:31 PM   
OrpheusAgonistes


Posts: 253
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quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyAngelika

Gotta love Wilde! I wonder if he did a Diva snap when he delivered these ;-)

- LA


Probably something like that.  He used to design his quips well in advance and practice them in front of a mirror.  Far and away my favorite dandy.

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RE: Sarcasm - 3/30/2010 8:53:25 PM   
OrpheusAgonistes


Posts: 253
Joined: 3/29/2010
Status: offline 		I like the line from Mencken (often mistakenly attributed to Voltaire):  "God is a comedian playing to an audience too terrified to laugh."

Someone once quoted that line to me in (not quite correct) French and attributed it to Voltaire.  I told her that Voltaire would be flattered--not only had she stolen a brilliancy for him but she'd taken the time to translate it into bad French.

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RE: Sarcasm - 3/30/2010 8:54:44 PM   
DomMeinCT


Posts: 2355
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One more (can't resist) by Will Rogers:

Democrats never agree on anything, that's why they're Democrats.
If they agreed with each other, they would be Republicans.


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The meeting of two personalities is like the contact of two chemical substances:
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RE: Sarcasm - 3/30/2010 9:12:44 PM   
LadyAngelika


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quote:

bad French


If there is one thing I can't tolerate, it's bad French!

- LA

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RE: Sarcasm - 3/30/2010 9:20:35 PM   
LadyAngelika


Posts: 8070
Joined: 7/4/2004
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quote:

can't resist


Me neither.

"Expecting the world to treat you fairly because you are a good person is a little like expecting a bull not to attack you because you are a vegetarian" -Dennis Wholey

- LA

< Message edited by LadyAngelika -- 3/30/2010 9:21:16 PM >

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RE: Sarcasm - 3/30/2010 9:22:50 PM   
Smutmonger


Posts: 995
Joined: 2/17/2010
Status: offline 		"I can only please one person a day. Today is not your day. Tomorrow doesn't look good either."

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I didn't get into an alternative lifestyle to explore new frontiers in conformity.

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RE: Sarcasm - 3/30/2010 9:27:23 PM   
BlueEyedSubinDE


Posts: 56
Joined: 4/15/2006
Status: offline 		Only 483,385 more days until I give a damn

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RE: Sarcasm - 3/30/2010 9:37:23 PM   
LanceHughes


Posts: 4737
Joined: 2/12/2004
Status: offline 		Saw a t-shirt the other day:  "Sarcasm.  Just one of my many talents."

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"Train 'em the right way - my way." Lance Hughes
"Advice is what we ask for when we already know the answer, but wish we didn't." Erica Jong

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Member: VAA's posse

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RE: Sarcasm - 3/30/2010 10:11:37 PM   
LadyAngelika


Posts: 8070
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- LA

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RE: Sarcasm - 3/30/2010 10:36:46 PM   
ResidentSadist


Posts: 12580
Joined: 2/11/2007
From: a mean old Daddy, but I like you - Joni Mitchell
Status: offline 		I write to strangers now and then. I'll tell them, "You're almost as pretty as I am." BossyShoeBitch was a hoot, although it has been so long I don't recall her words. But trust me, she was fun.

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-=BDSM Book List=- Reading is Fundamental !!!
I give good thread.

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RE: Sarcasm - 3/31/2010 1:41:19 AM   
lally2


Posts: 2621
Joined: 4/16/2009
Status: offline 		just wanted to say thanks for the laugh

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So all I have to do in order to serve him, is to work out exactly how improbable he is, feed that figure into the finite improbability generator, give him a fresh cup of really hot tea ... and turn him on!

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RE: Sarcasm - 3/31/2010 2:14:58 AM   
LadyEllen


Posts: 10931
Joined: 6/30/2006
From: Stourport-England
Status: offline 		"Oh! a sarcasm detector; well thats a real useful invention" - Comic Book Guy

E

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In a test against the leading brand, 9 out of 10 participants couldnt tell the difference. Dumbasses.

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RE: Sarcasm - 3/31/2010 2:19:45 AM   
OrpheusAgonistes


Posts: 253
Joined: 3/29/2010
Status: offline 		I always liked one of Conan O'Brien's very old bits, from when he was doing standup.  "My family and I like to use sarcasm to communicate.  For example, the other day I told my sister 'Hey, I hope you have a really happy birthday.  I really love you.' "

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RE: Sarcasm - 3/31/2010 2:24:07 AM   
dreamofthemoon


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quote:

LadyAngelika
 
6. “Personal experience makes a believer out of anyone; that explains the hordes of evolution deniers.” –Sarcasm Society


Oh, good grief, i read that as "derriers", LadyA.  i must be tired tonight.

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dreamy

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RE: Sarcasm - 3/31/2010 2:26:03 AM   
dreamofthemoon


Posts: 10666
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quote:

ORIGINAL: LanceHughes

Saw a t-shirt the other day:  "Sarcasm.  Just one of my many talents."

i think it was Missturbation who had something like this as her sig line: "Sarcasm.  Just another service i provide."

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dreamy

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RE: Sarcasm - 3/31/2010 2:49:49 AM   
VaguelyCurious


Posts: 5264
Joined: 12/2/2009
From: United Kingdom
Status: offline 		Person A: Sarcasm is the lowest form of wit.
Person B: That's why I use it when I'm talking to you.

That's an automatic response in my parents' house. I once accidentally said it to my biology teacher, when I was about fifteen.


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RE: Sarcasm - 3/31/2010 4:19:44 AM   
LadyAngelika


Posts: 8070
Joined: 7/4/2004
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quote:

ORIGINAL: dreamofthemoon

quote:

LadyAngelika
 
6. “Personal experience makes a believer out of anyone; that explains the hordes of evolution deniers.” –Sarcasm Society


Oh, good grief, i read that as "derriers", LadyA.  i must be tired tonight.


That's hilarious! :-)

- LA

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