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barelynangel -> RE: Cheating (4/4/2010 7:20:14 PM)
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I guess it would depend on what your priorities are?
Is your priority ending the relationship and moving on? Then no this (your cheating) would not be a good strategy.
Is your priority to find out what happened in your relationship with the possibility of fixing it so that you may stay together and get past this? Again, your cheating not a good strategy.
If your priority is to inflict as much drama and damage on yourself and everyone involved -- but mostly yourself -- then yeah this may be cheating a good strategy for you.
Right now, i would believe your priority would be to figure out what the relationship MEANS TO YOU. No one else, not even him but to you. If you decide that it means enough to you that you want to figure things out, then you need to find out what the relationship means to him. This may mean you guys take sometime to work things through with yourselves and then start figuring it out together. If you come to the conclusion that the cost of working towards a possible regaining of trust and a strong relationship is too much, then forget the blame and start putting a plan together to move on.
I really hate when people's advise with something like this is get out. That is not always the answer. There are many many relationships in this world that have chosen to work through this awful injury to the trust of the relationship and work to put it back together and many make it and become stronger because of same.
No one but you can make a determination of what you may want from this relationship. Do not on gut instinct go out and "cheat" on him, and take sometime before making any final decision. Yes give yourself time to be angry, hurt, etc etc etc. But also give yourself time to think what is best for you beyond the anger, hurt, etc. You owe yourself that much.
The relationship may be irrepairable. If this is what you determine, then its time to put yourself first and your focus should be on the future, not on what he did in the past. The relationship may be repairable, if this is what you determine than again put yourself first and focus on the future, and figure out how you can together repair the damage to your foundation.
Good luck.
angel
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