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RE: The kidless kinksters thread. - 3/15/2010 9:30:47 PM

LafayetteLady

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quote:

ORIGINAL: DomBlade64
Wow. I thought I was the only one. I have never had kids and I always get the "YOU WILL SOMEDAY" Kind of garbage. When I get to go on vacations and people find out they usually get sour and say something along the lines of "I cant go, I have a LIFE and KIDS at home!"

Im like...wow.... Not my fault...Condoms are free ya know...

To be honest, you are only 22, and you still might change your mind. In any case, where are you getting all the free condoms?

quote:

ORIGINAL: lazarus1983

But even in an ideal situation, having children is just something I absolutely do not ever want. I'm too busy doing whatever I want to do, all the time. Why would I ever want to give that up for a smelly, screaming little bastard that I can't even hit?

quote:

ORIGINAL: beej

quote:

I decided at some point in my life that I wasn't good parent material-and I stuck with it.

i agree with this. i like kids and seem to get on well with them, but i don't have the desire to cultivate and raise a human. on the rare occasions that i imagine giving birth, i feel like i could endure that the same way that i endure getting a tattoo. the difference is that tattoo aftercare only lasts a few weeks, and after that, tattoos don't talk back or tear things up or ask for money constantly. if i really loved a dude, i could perhaps have his spawn on the written and notarized condition that he would take primary custody of the kid if we broke up.

And the world is grateful you both are making that decision.

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RE: The kidless kinksters thread. - 3/15/2010 11:30:50 PM

FelineFae

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We wanted kids. We charted tempatures and spent 30 mins upside down after the act trying to make kids. After 8 years and 4 spontanious abortions, the dream died.
i've made peace with the matter, and have become comfortable about life without kids.

Have i ever felt judged ? Yes.

i've felt judged because i want to breed. i have felt judged because i haven't bred. i have felt judged because i can't. i've judged myself because of it all.

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RE: The kidless kinksters thread. - 3/15/2010 11:34:17 PM

Hawkwindblues

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You have my deepest compassion FelineFae, what a difficult time to live through. Congratulations to survive it as a couple, many do not. Your love must be strong.

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RE: The kidless kinksters thread. - 3/15/2010 11:46:32 PM

LafayetteLady

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From: Northern New Jersey
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quote:

ORIGINAL: FelineFae

We wanted kids. We charted tempatures and spent 30 mins upside down after the act trying to make kids. After 8 years and 4 spontanious abortions, the dream died.
i've made peace with the matter, and have become comfortable about life without kids.

Have i ever felt judged ? Yes.

i've felt judged because i want to breed. i have felt judged because i haven't bred. i have felt judged because i can't. i've judged myself because of it all.

I'm so sorry you went through all that. I hope that you have gotten past the judging of yourself and are happy with yourself again.

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RE: The kidless kinksters thread. - 3/16/2010 12:23:13 AM

FelineFae

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Thank you both for your kind thoughts.

This November, Master and i will have been married for 10 years. Our love is the most glorious force in our world. It has seen us through so much in life.

Having been through what i lived, i have my own view on children.

While trying to have children, there were great periods of guilt. Asking " Do i deserve children ? " .

But i know now the reality of that answer. The Universe does not award children to " good people ".
Still, i felt if any motivation was pure enough that mine were. i wanted to devote myself as a guide and caretaker of a new life, until it had learned enough to live it's own life.

Also, i find that i respect people who remain childless because they don't feel the need to parent.

i see many people view reproduction as a side effect. They never thought on what it means to bring a new life into the world, and it seems that some just don't care.

i'm not trying to say that no one is a good parent. i know many wonderful parents out there.

It is a complicated issue. i've seen good kids result from bad parents. i've seen bad kids result from good parents.

i think people should really think about what they're doing before they go at it bareback...

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RE: The kidless kinksters thread. - 3/16/2010 12:35:40 AM

domiguy

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quote:

ORIGINAL: allthatjaz

Are you meaning 'bred' as in Master/slavery?

If not I'm not sure what this has to do with BDSM?

It was about breeding your slave and fattening up the kids for market....Yeah that was it!!!

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RE: The kidless kinksters thread. - 3/16/2010 1:27:52 AM

WyldHrt

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I greatly appreciate you sharing your thoughts and experiences, Fae, and I'm sorry for all that you and your Master went through. That said, it's always inspiring to see two people who have gone through so much, come out the other side still together and in love

To address the OP-
I decided that I didn't want to be a parent at age 18. Understandably, I got the usual "You're just young" and "You'll change your mind" arguments from my family and others, particularly my Mom. 22 years and a nearly decade-long marriage (now over) later, I think even Mom gets that I really meant it.

As for guilt, I have none. My brother and sister are both married with kids (3 boys between their families), so I escaped the 'last of the line' pressure from my family, and others who look sideways at me for not having kids are welcome to sit and spin. I wouldn't even consider bringing a child into the world that I didn't truly want, let alone consider doing so to appease someone else's expectations of me.

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