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RE: The kidless kinksters thread. - 3/15/2010 9:04:36 AM   
GreedyTop


Posts: 52100
Joined: 5/2/2007
From: Savannah, GA
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Wolf2Bear

quote:

ORIGINAL: GreedyTop

Bear.. what I know of you, you'd make an awesome Daddy (of the parental type LOL).


Thanks Greedy yet it comes down to the plain fact that I do not want nor have I ever wanted that responsibility.



have you ever considered doing the Big Brother thing? or mentoring?  truly, Bear.. I think you'd be excellent at having an influence on kids...

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Profile   Post #: 21
RE: The kidless kinksters thread. - 3/15/2010 9:21:49 AM   
allthatjaz


Posts: 2878
Joined: 8/20/2008
Status: offline 		Are you meaning 'bred' as in Master/slavery?

If not I'm not sure what this has to do with BDSM?

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RE: The kidless kinksters thread. - 3/15/2010 9:46:30 AM   
Lucienne


Posts: 1175
Joined: 9/5/2009
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quote:

ORIGINAL: allthatjaz

If not I'm not sure what this has to do with BDSM?


I don't think it has anything to do with BDSM. I'd imagine many vanilla folks would be relieved to know that kinksters weren't having kids.

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Profile   Post #: 23
RE: The kidless kinksters thread. - 3/15/2010 10:13:42 AM   
CarrieO


Posts: 2432
Joined: 1/27/2008
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: allthatjaz

Are you meaning 'bred' as in Master/slavery?

If not I'm not sure what this has to do with BDSM?


I didn't read the original question to mean that but...puts an interesting spin on the it.  I've had partners choose to not get involved because I didn't want to play brood mare but that hasn't been limited to kink. 




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Profile   Post #: 24
RE: The kidless kinksters thread. - 3/15/2010 10:28:37 AM   
LafayetteLady


Posts: 7683
Joined: 5/2/2007
From: Northern New Jersey
Status: offline 		I don't think choosing not to have children is a selfish act at all. Whether a person chooses not to have children because they enjoy the freedom of being childless, or because of other reasons such as not wanting the responsibility, better that they not have children. Being able to recognize that for whatever reason you would not be providing the devotion to a child that is necessary to the child's health and well being is a mature and responsible decision. I think it is far worse to have a child simply because that is what is "expected" of you and then be a crap ass parent.

I don't believe however, that a young woman (or man) in their early twenties should take permanent steps towards prevention though. Often, someone in their twenties is adamant about not having children but changes their mind down the road. With all the available birth control options, there isn't a reason to make a permanent choice at such a young age.

Dominasola,

Anyone who makes you feel judged because of your situation should be bitch slapped, regardless of whether you want or don't want children. I have found that it is typically women who will do this and find it really sad that so many women think that bearing children is an expected thing of all women.

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Profile   Post #: 25
RE: The kidless kinksters thread. - 3/15/2010 10:35:23 AM   
slo18


Posts: 125
Status: offline 		i dont have any children, but i want them. i am my parents oldest girl and its expected of me, i also married an only son and his folks are pushing us to have children. but what only my parents and my husband know is that i have fertility issues that will make it very difficult to conceive natrualy. when i was younger (in my teens ) i was told i wouldent be able to have children at all. it was a hard thing to accept. but i did i went on to collage majored in early childhood education as a means to supliment my mommy urge. but then found out that never has scince changed to difficult to have babbies and that is almost worse. it ment going from a flat total no, to a maybe almost like being teased with it. i know all the good reasons not have younglings around, they are expensive they are loud, you cant get any privacy. but long befor i was a teen ager when i was in the mid single didgets i decided i wanted to be a wife and a mom when i grew up. and that desire has never gone away infact its only gotten stronger. i hope to some day either conceive though medical help, or to adopt. but someday is a few years off right now i am enjoying myself!

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RE: The kidless kinksters thread. - 3/15/2010 11:18:25 AM   
petmonkey


Posts: 1053
Joined: 7/7/2009
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: LafayetteLady
I don't think choosing not to have children is a selfish act at all. Whether a person chooses not to have children because they enjoy the freedom of being childless, or because of other reasons such as not wanting the responsibility, better that they not have children. Being able to recognize that for whatever reason you would not be providing the devotion to a child that is necessary to the child's health and well being is a mature and responsible decision. I think it is far worse to have a child simply because that is what is "expected" of you and then be a crap ass parent.


i agree with your statement wholeheartedly.  i'd like to add that there are so many children on the planet in need of solid parenting already.  Sometimes i see reproducing as the more selfish act when thinking about overpopulation and the fallout from same.  This is probably me just rationalizing the full-body lemon-face i get when thinking about having children of my own.  Seriously, even at their sweetest, having children around make me cross my legs. A lot.
More power to those of you who are having a great time building a family and thank you to those of you who are doing the good work of providing a stable environment for your smalls. Despite the above statement about overpopulation, i appreciate your efforts.


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Profile   Post #: 27
RE: The kidless kinksters thread. - 3/15/2010 11:54:32 AM   
Lucienne


Posts: 1175
Joined: 9/5/2009
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: slo18 but i did i went on to collage majored in early childhood education as a means to supliment my mommy urge.


There really is no end of opportunities to be relieved that I don't have kids.

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Profile   Post #: 28
RE: The kidless kinksters thread. - 3/15/2010 1:05:11 PM   
DomBlade64


Posts: 105
Joined: 3/14/2010
Status: offline 		Wow. I thought I was the only one. I have never had kids and I always get the "YOU WILL SOMEDAY" Kind of garbage. When I get to go on vacations and people find out they usually get sour and say something along the lines of "I cant go, I have a LIFE and KIDS at home!"


Im like...wow.... Not my fault...Condoms are free ya know...


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Profile   Post #: 29
RE: The kidless kinksters thread. - 3/15/2010 1:18:24 PM   
lazarus1983


Posts: 828
Joined: 2/25/2006
Status: offline 		I've had people try to sell me on the wonders and joys of parenthood, I get that quite a lot. My next door neighbor is right now in a shouting match with her children, whom she can't provide for and is on welfare, and her car broke down and she can't afford to fix it, and is getting evicted. Ah, the joys and wonders...

But even in an ideal situation, having children is just something I absolutely do not ever want. I'm too busy doing whatever I want to do, all the time. Why would I ever want to give that up for a smelly, screaming little bastard that I can't even hit?

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Profile   Post #: 30
RE: The kidless kinksters thread. - 3/15/2010 3:40:30 PM   
Level


Posts: 25145
Joined: 3/3/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Smutmonger

Just sounding out folks without kids on here. I decided at some point in my life that I wasn't good parent material-and I stuck with it.

Ideally-people like me find others who don't have children as well-it makes life a lot less complicated.

But it does still create problems.

Do you ever feel judged for the choice not to have bred?


Yes, but most people that know me realize they may as well keep those judgments to themselves.

I've never wanted children. Never looked at someone else's kids and thought "why not me?". I like doing what I want to do, when I want to do it.

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Fake the heat and scratch the itch
Skinned up knees and salty lips
Let go it's harder holding on
One more trip and I'll be gone

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Profile   Post #: 31
RE: The kidless kinksters thread. - 3/15/2010 3:52:58 PM   
thornhappy


Posts: 8596
Joined: 12/16/2006
Status: offline 		I've never wanted children either, and asked about a tubal ligation when I was 26 (I was turned down due to "a high regret rate in that age group.")

I've had no regrets, and am beyond having kids now!

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Profile   Post #: 32
RE: The kidless kinksters thread. - 3/15/2010 4:26:31 PM   
Sserpentia


Posts: 66
Joined: 1/26/2010
Status: offline 		I always knew I never wanted kids, so my family never expected any from me. As for other people, I can say I never felt judged per se. No one has ever lectured me or rolled their eyes at me. But there have been a few dates where that was the VERY first question, and it just goes downhill from there. But I'm straight forward with everyone. Never ever going to happen.

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Profile   Post #: 33
RE: The kidless kinksters thread. - 3/15/2010 4:31:40 PM   
came4U


Posts: 3572
Joined: 1/23/2007
From: London, Ontario
Status: offline
quote:

Do you ever feel judged for the choice not to have bred?


of course, Smut.

was judged by family (oh and docs lol, can't forget the docs who nag, since they prefer you NOT to be pregnant before your six week post-natal checkups lol) for having too many, too fast, too close apart (first 3, 11 months apart, one after another, was like having triplets) so family, of course was all over that like flied lice. You get that 'OMG AGAIN??' face.

Doesn't matter though, if a guy is kidless, persay, but if he does have kids I'd prefer his are older, done any diaper stage and well beyond any drama of child custody nonsense. I am too old for that kind of stuff to be dealing with.

I don't think you should feel bad if you are kidless though, it is just life an fate.

eeks shit, I misread sorry Smut. I didn't notice the 'not to bred' only. cancel my post lol. My thang didn't apply.

< Message edited by came4U -- 3/15/2010 4:40:56 PM >

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Profile   Post #: 34
RE: The kidless kinksters thread. - 3/15/2010 6:28:14 PM   
Smutmonger


Posts: 995
Joined: 2/17/2010
Status: offline 		It does relate to bdsm,from the standpoint of being able to be freer with your D/s and M/s at home.

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Profile   Post #: 35
RE: The kidless kinksters thread. - 3/15/2010 6:54:00 PM   
beej


Posts: 145
Joined: 1/24/2010
Status: offline
quote:

I decided at some point in my life that I wasn't good parent material-and I stuck with it.


i agree with this. i like kids and seem to get on well with them, but i don't have the desire to cultivate and raise a human. on the rare occasions that i imagine giving birth, i feel like i could endure that the same way that i endure getting a tattoo. the difference is that tattoo aftercare only lasts a few weeks, and after that, tattoos don't talk back or tear things up or ask for money constantly. if i really loved a dude, i could perhaps have his spawn on the written and notarized condition that he would take primary custody of the kid if we broke up.

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Profile   Post #: 36
RE: The kidless kinksters thread. - 3/15/2010 7:01:57 PM   
KITTYLECTRO


Posts: 261
Joined: 10/26/2009
Status: offline 		http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=--ljRn5GX_s
Fuck this and fuck that
Fuck it all and fuck her fucking brat
She don't want a baby that looks like that
I don't want a baby that looks like that


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Profile   Post #: 37
RE: The kidless kinksters thread. - 3/15/2010 7:07:37 PM   
Smutmonger


Posts: 995
Joined: 2/17/2010
Status: offline 		This is really really close to how I feel about this subject.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nojWJ6-XmeQ

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Profile   Post #: 38
RE: The kidless kinksters thread. - 3/15/2010 7:32:01 PM   
TheHeretic


Posts: 19100
Joined: 3/25/2007
From: California, USA
Status: offline 		Bastards.  Keep the DNA, keep it simple. 

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That's why people with no sense of humor have such an inflated sense of self-importance.


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Profile   Post #: 39
RE: The kidless kinksters thread. - 3/15/2010 7:51:07 PM   
LadyAngelika


Posts: 8070
Joined: 7/4/2004
Status: offline 		I'm only 37. I may or may not have kids. I like kids but I won't have them just to have them. The time has to be right to do so.

I feel no pressure from myself or from my environment to decide or make a decision. For this, I feel very fortunate.

- LA

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Profile   Post #: 40
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