RE: Bewitched, Bothered and Bewildered

RE: Bewitched, Bothered and Bewildered (Full Version)

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sunshinemiss -> RE: Bewitched, Bothered and Bewildered (2/17/2010 11:57:51 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: sirsholly i agree with Blushy that you are as cute as a button!! My advice...stop looking for someone that wants exactly the same things you want (it will not happen). Instead, keep your heart open for the one you can grow with. He is out there and you will find him! And they all sang kumbayah.... SimplyMichael: Get the hell off of the internet and go to some real world events! While I am confused about some things, I do know for sure the lifestyle scene is not for me. I am very much vanilla in my everyday life and only desire to be otherwise behind closed doors with someone I am romantically involved with . I rather enjoy coming off as innocent and pure and then proving not to be. Hence SarasSecret. Sara - Real world events don't have to be what some would consider "lifestyle". Often they are just lunch or dinner or meeting for a movie at someone's house or whatever. I guarantee that there are many many many men who fit with a lot of what you are talking about koffnoiwillnotrevelanameskoff. I promise that if you met most of us in person, you'd say "I had no idea." I have introduced my aunt (affectionatly known here as Aunt Fab) to at least 7 lifestyle people in real life and half a dozen others by phone. She's not a bit into this, but she is really open minded and loves us! *She's like the BDSM PFLAG Den Mother! And if you get a chance to meet Simply Michael - he likes middle eastern food and can keep you laughing all night!!! Welcome to the zoofest here.

RCdc -> RE: Bewitched, Bothered and Bewildered (2/17/2010 12:01:14 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Lorenzo19 I would pass you up. I see a girl topping from the bottom. I would think you are exactly the same way outside the bedroom in your vanilla relationship, always the one in control. This girl fiercely disagrees!(See... Master let me have that one...[;)][:D]) The OP isn't at the bottom anyhow, so how can she be topping? Honestly, that statement merely says 'You aren't my type' and is a statement given in a condecending way. It also goes to show that you had no idea about tops and bottoms vs. dominants and s-typoes... but I digress... There is nothing in the 'rules' that state that s-types cannot have desires... it's how she decides to articulate them for herself is the most important right now. She does not need some random guy coming along and stating she'd be passed by just because she has desires. You are poly. That's where you interests ends right there. the.dark.

sunshinemiss -> RE: Bewitched, Bothered and Bewildered (2/17/2010 12:02:28 PM)
Blows kisses to the lovely dc.... and the ever so handsome RC!!!

SarasSecret -> RE: Bewitched, Bothered and Bewildered (2/17/2010 12:04:25 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: RCdc if anyone makes you feel ignorant, then feel free to ignore them! It's sometimes best. I perved your profile. You have a lot there! Personally, I would thin it out a bit. You have left yourself a bit too open and exposed. Besides, part of the fun of a relationship is getting to know someone and you have left me thinking, what else is there to ask when she knows it all, already? Rule one (yeah, I am being a bit stereotypical here) romantic, monogamous men like to chase and take the lead, your profile takes that away from them. Master also read your profile - he says that the 'fiercely monogamous' statement gives him the impression that if your man took so much a little look at another woman, he would probably lose his balls to you. 'Absolutely monogamous', he suggests, is a far less threatening and dominant statement and if single, he would find that far more attractive(as a monogamous man himself). He asked me to pass on that he means that kindly. Right now, you seem less about control and more about an authority. You stated that you want your free spirit to be allowed. That to me, is the difference between authority and control... if that makes any sense? I would disagree with the whole 'get to events' suggestion just yet, due to the content of your profile. Although we get to events and go out, I wouldn't recommend them for someone who is so new, they are having worries about communicating... unless you can go along with someone you already know or trust. You cannot 'learn' the kind of Ds that you have given me the impression of at an event. But that's just my personal opinion. the.dark. Please tell your Master thank you for me. I will definitely change that portion of my profile and work on giving more of a summary than the full story. I definitely agree with him and see his point of view. Perhaps you are correct in thinking I need authoritative guidance, that does sound appealing to me. Blushes and Heartfeltsub- thanks for standing up for me. I was doing my best to ignore him!

RCdc -> RE: Bewitched, Bothered and Bewildered (2/17/2010 12:04:44 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: sunshinemiss Blows kisses to the lovely dc.... and the ever so handsome RC!!! Master smiled. Smoochies.... we need to spread a lil more love on here today!!!!! the.dark.

SimplyMichael -> RE: Bewitched, Bothered and Bewildered (2/17/2010 12:05:50 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: sunshinemiss Sara - Real world events don't have to be what some would consider "lifestyle". Often they are just lunch or dinner or meeting for a movie at someone's house or whatever. Exactly, many munches are VERY vanilla and VERY discrete. I am pretty out about being kinky but I have lots of friends who are exactly like the OP. They are very secretive about this side of their life and thus they are also very discrete about which munches and events they go to. I attend a lot of events but one of my favorites is a "group" that doesn't even advertise, people find it only through word of mouth, there are lawyers, doctors, law enforcement, teachers, and all sorts of "vanilla" professionals who are quite careful to keep their kink private. It is held on an estate up in the hills on acreage and is very secluded.

SimplyMichael -> RE: Bewitched, Bothered and Bewildered (2/17/2010 12:08:03 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: sunshinemiss And if you get a chance to meet Simply Michael - he likes middle eastern food and can keep you laughing all night!!! And you, my dear, are a real treat too! Serendipity often leads to the best restaurants, that place was a lot of fun!

sirsholly -> RE: Bewitched, Bothered and Bewildered (2/17/2010 12:11:26 PM)
quote: And they all sang kumbayah.... [image]http://www.millan.net/minimations/smileys/kumbaya.gif[/image]

xxblushesxx -> RE: Bewitched, Bothered and Bewildered (2/17/2010 12:13:28 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: RCdc quote: ORIGINAL: SarasSecret I'm sorry if this is going to sound ignorant and perhaps even stupid. But can you please explain the difference of the two? Perhaps you can give examples/scenarios. I have a feeling you are right but am just unsure of your definitions and how it would change what I am searching for. thank you! If anyone makes you feel ignorant, then feel free to ignore them! It's sometimes best.[;)] I perved your profile. You have a lot there! Personally, I would thin it out a bit. You have left yourself a bit too open and exposed. Besides, part of the fun of a relationship is getting to know someone and you have left me thinking, what else is there to ask when she knows it all, already? Rule one (yeah, I am being a bit stereotypical here) romantic, monogamous men like to chase and take the lead, your profile takes that away from them. Master also read your profile - he says that the 'fiercely monogamous' statement gives him the impression that if your man took so much a little look at another woman, he would probably lose his balls to you. 'Absolutely monogamous', he suggests, is a far less threatening and dominant statement and if single, he would find that far more attractive(as a monogamous man himself). He asked me to pass on that he means that kindly.[:)] Right now, you seem less about control and more about an authority. You stated that you want your free spirit to be allowed. That to me, is the difference between authority and control... if that makes any sense? I would disagree with the whole 'get to events' suggestion just yet, due to the content of your profile. Although we get to events and go out, I wouldn't recommend them for someone who is so new, they are having worries about communicating... unless you can go along with someone you already know or trust. You cannot 'learn' the kind of Ds that you have given me the impression of at an event. But that's just my personal opinion. the.dark. I loved this post! I agree with the too open and exposed part. I honestly (and still don't have) the kink stuff up there, because that's not really something I want to share with everyone. I kind of felt if I had it up there for everyone to view, that more people would ask me about it, and I'd feel compelled to explain myself, just because I put it out there. And I didn't really want to think about random guys imagining certain acts with me. (yeah, I know they might anyway, but it seemed disingenuous for me to put it out there and then be offended when someone wanted to discuss it.) I liked what your master had to say about fiercely monogomous as well. And going to events, I agree with that too. Basically, I'm just saying I totally agree with everything you put here. [sm=goodpost.gif]

sirsholly -> RE: Bewitched, Bothered and Bewildered (2/17/2010 12:14:00 PM)
quote: I would pass you up. i somehow can't see her overly brokenhearted by this.

SarasSecret -> RE: Bewitched, Bothered and Bewildered (2/17/2010 12:26:26 PM)
Ok profile has been reworked and summarized...I think it leaves plenty to the imagination now! What do you all think?? Also How do I find these munch events in my area? I am still hesitant and timid to go to them alone though.

SimplyMichael -> RE: Bewitched, Bothered and Bewildered (2/17/2010 12:52:44 PM)
http://www.soj.org http://www.tes.org Those are the two of the oldest bdsm groups around, TES is in NY and should have a calendar, SOJ does. Remember, each munch is unique, some may be rather more low key than others, check first. Who you will find at a munch will often be a bit different than who you might meet at that same groups parties. Some are very welcoming, others are sink or swim, some exist for good reasons, others not so much.

RCdc -> RE: Bewitched, Bothered and Bewildered (2/17/2010 1:49:29 PM)
Thanks for kind words blushes! It always rocks to know something posted made sense to someone. And Master sends his regards[:)] the.dark.

RCdc -> RE: Bewitched, Bothered and Bewildered (2/17/2010 2:00:17 PM)
The main thing is that you are happy with it... if you are, then it will attract someone who will be happy with it too. The reason I said about giving too much away is because you open yourself to people who might read what you have put and use it to their advantage. Don't get me wrong, not everyones a bad egg. But your profile is new, so it appears on the 'just signed up' list which makes you more of a 'target'. Personally, I would advise anyone with a new profile to sign up, then leave it as 'hidden' for about a month, that's enough time for it to drop off the 'list'. I'd suggest participating on the forums too. Get to know people and get a feel for what you might get at a munch or club by reading reviews and personal experiences on the appropriate forums. Use the search facility and take a look at the events forum. Plus there are people here, like LadyPact who attend events if you really want to go experience them - they might be able to help point you to the places you can search (we are UK so can't help you there). Most of all, enjoy yourself and don't get put off or feel forced to do what you feel uncomfortable with. There's a lot of love out there! the.dark.

Lorenzo19 -> RE: Bewitched, Bothered and Bewildered (2/17/2010 3:52:55 PM)
sara, you took all the stuff about your fantasies out of your profile. I thought that was among the best parts. When I said I would pass you up, that's because I'm not looking for a woman to worship. I didn't mean to imply that worshiping you was ridiculous. You could find a guy to worship you in one minute if you advertised better. You are pretty and young. Good selling points. A guy wanting to worship a Woman would like to know your fantasies so he knows what he would be expected to do. Especially the CBT. You are not sure how to describe yourself. I would suggest Sadomasochistic Mistress in the bedroom and Vanilla Mistress at other times.

SarasSecret -> RE: Bewitched, Bothered and Bewildered (2/17/2010 4:16:56 PM)
Lorenzo...It seems you have not read my profile at all or fully understand anything I have said. I have absolutely no desire to be a mistress and I'd only do cbt if the guy I was with asked me to and wanted it.

MissBeautiful2U -> RE: Bewitched, Bothered and Bewildered (2/17/2010 4:19:31 PM)
Hi there, I really like a lot of the things you have to say in your profile. You are straightforward about what you are looking for long-term, and also about what you are not wanting. It sounds like you want a very kinky relationship with a man that you love and respect and whom can return that adoration. Someone who can be your partner, friend, as well as play with kinky bdsm things. I really found your description as the soccer mom who uses clothing to hide her rope marks to be a very apt description. You are clear about monogamy, which is very important because there are some who are not. I like that you make it clear that it is important to you. There are guys out there who would fit your needs, but finding the right one is difficult in the sense that there are just so many different factors to look at. Since you asked for feedback, I would recommend that you break the writing up a little more so that it doesn't look like such a big block of text. That can make it more difficult to read... a few spaces between paragraphs can help with that. I really wish you the best of luck in finding the man of your dreams. Instead of deleting the profile, leave it up and check back periodically the next time you get tired of looking. You never know who might stumble across it when you least expect it.

xxblushesxx -> RE: Bewitched, Bothered and Bewildered (2/17/2010 4:30:34 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Lorenzo19 sara, you took all the stuff about your fantasies out of your profile. I thought that was among the best parts. When I said I would pass you up, that's because I'm not looking for a woman to worship. I didn't mean to imply that worshiping you was ridiculous. You could find a guy to worship you in one minute if you advertised better. You are pretty and young. Good selling points. A guy wanting to worship a Woman would like to know your fantasies so he knows what he would be expected to do. Especially the CBT. You are not sure how to describe yourself. I would suggest Sadomasochistic Mistress in the bedroom and Vanilla Mistress at other times. Lorenzo, Just because a submissive or slave is picky...or even wants a man who loves and worships her for who she is, does not make her a domme. You are looking at things in black and white in a world full of colours and many shades of grey. I spent a long time picking out the one I wanted, and in the end, I chose the one who was willing to work the hardest for our relationship. We've had a few rough patches, but I think when a woman finds a man who adores her, and she adores as well, sometimes it makes the rough patches just a bit easier. As for how the op should describe herself, I totally disagree. I think she did just fine.

lizi -> RE: Bewitched, Bothered and Bewildered (2/17/2010 4:31:33 PM)
I didn't see the original profile but I would add some very pedestrian comments on what I did see in that I think you should fix the formatting problems and add some paragraphs to make it an easier read overall. It is a bit wordy and perhaps you could cut it down a bit but I think it's good and gives a good sense of yourself. This is one profile that I've seen where I feel as though I know you a little [:)] and that's pretty cool. Your journal entries do come off as being negative. You may feel that they are necessary to give out the picture of what you want and that's fine but they are negative and make you look like a bit of a crusader. If that is accurate then keep them and rock on. Like NihilusZero, I like the key words being in bold type.

texangael -> RE: Bewitched, Bothered and Bewildered (2/17/2010 4:41:23 PM)
quote: If anyone has words of wisdom for me please share them! Keep talking about what you and your prospective partners desire. The ones who aren't interested in that conversation aren't worth your time. Of the ones who are interested one is likely to have that magic spark that makes it all work. In other words--don't change what you're doing. You're on the right track I think.

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