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RE: My Will is Broken and Someone Lost the Receipt... - 1/26/2010 3:47:49 AM

DesFIP

Posts: 25191
Joined: 11/25/2007
From: Apple County NY
Status: offline

How do you imagine the breaking taking place? Being tied down and things done to you while you scream no, don't but never using your safeword? Or agreeing ahead of time that your safeword is suspended (consensual nonconsent). Or physically being overpowered (forceplay).

Or just slowly over time becoming comfortable with things happening that today you wouldn't be comfortable with?

Because all these different scenarios matter in order to explain what it is you really want.

_____________________________

Slave to laundry

Cynical and proud of it!

(in reply to sirsholly)

Post #: 21

RE: My Will is Broken and Someone Lost the Receipt... - 1/26/2010 7:47:01 AM

lally2

Posts: 2621
Joined: 4/16/2009
Status: offline

for me its all about wanting versus denial of that want.

you want for someone to take that choice away from you - enter Domme.

whilst youre struggling with the idea of being bound and vulnerable she gets on with it anyway. again the choice is taken away from you.

you want to submit and you think the only way you can is to have the choice taken from you and put into a position where the responsibility lies entirely at her feet.

its the dichotomy many submissives and slaves go through as they begin to explore this. you want but you cant quite give into the wanting.

you can mull this around in youre head till it spins off, youll only ever get to grips with it completely when you meet that defining Domme and she takes over.

resisting the resist is actually when submission seriously kicks in. when you give in to youre Lady and she can see and feel the submission in you. thats when it gets hot for her (im assuming from what ive read) and you can relax and let go.

_____________________________

So all I have to do in order to serve him, is to work out exactly how improbable he is, feed that figure into the finite improbability generator, give him a fresh cup of really hot tea ... and turn him on!

(in reply to DesFIP)

Post #: 22

RE: Authentic Surrender - 1/26/2010 7:53:16 AM

pyroaquatic

Posts: 1535
Joined: 12/4/2006
From: Pyroaquatica
Status: offline

So all I have to do is look attractive, feel attractive, be confident and don't push it.... just relax into the natural methods of Pyroaquatic.

and the rest will follow.

Ah, a forceful submissive is not really submissive.... er... are they?

Do want... please... do want....... want want want....

"No!"

_____________________________

You are what your deep, driving desire is.
As your desire is, so is your will.
As your will is, so is your deed.
As your deed is, so is your destiny.
-Brihadaranyaka Upanishad IV.4.5

(in reply to AAkasha)

Post #: 23

RE: My Will is Broken and Someone Lost the Receipt... - 1/26/2010 7:55:21 AM

pyroaquatic

Posts: 1535
Joined: 12/4/2006
From: Pyroaquatica
Status: offline

I guess I need more EXP to achieve the next level.

Le Sigh....

:D

Thanks everyone.... I am slightly less lost than I was before....

and I wont touch that microphysics thing.

I'll just accept the fact that everyone can be wrong and right at the same time.

_____________________________

You are what your deep, driving desire is.
As your desire is, so is your will.
As your will is, so is your deed.
As your deed is, so is your destiny.
-Brihadaranyaka Upanishad IV.4.5

(in reply to DesFIP)

Post #: 24

RE: My Will is Broken and Someone Lost the Receipt... - 1/26/2010 7:59:06 AM

Mercnbeth

Posts: 11766
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: sirsholly

quote:

I have always fantasized about a woman slowly breaking me.
seems to me that if your will is broken you no longer submit...just passively go along with whatever is happening.

passively going along with---not resisting---whatever is happening sounds to this slave like ONE way to submit...not the ONLY way, of course, but how is that NOT submitting?

(in reply to sirsholly)

Post #: 25

RE: My Will is Broken and Someone Lost the Receipt... - 1/26/2010 8:58:29 AM

antipode

Posts: 1787
Joined: 4/19/2004
Status: offline

quote:

I don't know. That is why I am asking

So you fantasize about someone doing something to you, but you don't know what the "something" is. You are indeed confused.

(in reply to pyroaquatic)

Post #: 26

RE: My Will is Broken and Someone Lost the Receipt... - 1/26/2010 9:03:38 AM

AAkasha

Posts: 4429
Joined: 11/27/2004
Status: offline

The definition of "breaking" is as personal and varied as the two people involved, like a lot of S&M and "lifestyle" terms. I am a big fan of breaking my subs, but of course, that's my definition of breaking. And when they are broken, they don't stay broken, it's a momentary state of mind/body/existence. It's like getting a man drunk; he's not drunk forever, he's just drunk at that time. He goes back to "normal" and we both can look back and it and go "wow," and it does not impact my perception or respect for him. If anything, I admire him for his willingness to ...well, allow himself to get that drunk and leave himself in my care during the time of intense vulnerability.

So what is "breaking" -- to me, anyway-- ?

In my definition, it's the moment where a man is clearly surrendering to acts that he absolutely would never submit to, were it not for the slow process of stripping down his defenses and my persuasion as his femdom and/or lover. It's when he's actively doing - or even begging to do - those acts that were not really conceivable to him. I'm not talking about breaking hard limits, I'm talking about bending and pushing lines of resistance and bringing down barriers. It's when he's openly showing a very naked, helpless, vulnerable side of himself that even he can't really get his head around or reconcile, and it becomes a very surreal, "Is this really happening" moment. For a lot of men, this includes things like crying (if he rarely cries), or submitting to/begging for an act that he finds horrific, or having his ego or pride authentically reduced to barely anything because of my impact on him.

Since it varies from man to man, I can't just point to an act and say, "Oh, it's when I do this and he does that." It's very, very personal and it's very intimate. It doesn't come around all the time -- the opportunity and the right guy -- so I treasure it when it does.

Akasha

_____________________________

Akasha's Web - All original Femdom content since 1995
Don't email me here, email me at [email protected]

(in reply to DesFIP)

Post #: 27

RE: My Will is Broken and Someone Lost the Receipt... - 1/26/2010 9:38:19 AM

Dominasola

Posts: 582
Joined: 9/18/2008
From: Ottawa, Canada
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: pyroaquatic

I am young and therefore stupid.

Now, now. Us younglings may be naive and unexperienced, but stupid? We have the amazing capability to learn and assimilate information...use that potential!

quote:

I guess I need more EXP to achieve the next level.

*Throws you some monsters to kill*

You wouldn't try to kill the endgame boss before you managed to master your abilities and skills - and had time to amass the proper gear to do so - would you?

quote:

I have limits, yes... and I have no idea what they are.

Maybe you start out with a fire spell that deals x damage. Without proceeding forth gaining experience and better gear, you will never achieve the x^90 damage needed to kill that endgame boss. But, after you HAVE gone through the paces and achieved what you need to, you can kick its ass and get the epic loot!

</end nerdy analogy>

_____________________________

I have made a ceaseless effort not to ridicule, not to bewail, not to scorn human actions, but to understand them.

—Baruch Spinoza

The measure of a man is what he does with power.

—Pittacus

(in reply to pyroaquatic)

Post #: 28

RE: My Will is Broken and Someone Lost the Receipt... - 1/26/2010 9:59:54 AM

HisSweetElysium

Posts: 600
Joined: 11/12/2009
Status: offline

For us, breaking means using the safe word. Sometimes, He pushes me to do it, just because He wants to. I don't like to use it, because I want to please Him, I struggle to endure as long as possible. With regard to submission, we have had extremely frank ongoing conversations about our likes, dislikes and fantasies. And my fears too. You used bondage as an example. I love bondage, Master knows it, and He loves it too. He will spend serious time tying me up in pretty ways, what He does to me after that is always a surprise. I only get that when I've been very good. Resistance? Master and I enjoy a good round of that as well. Usually when we are being intimate, sometimes I'll start to struggle if the mood strikes me. He will either say "Stop that, NOW I don't want that." and that's the end of that or "Oh you don't want my cock bitch? Well you're getting it anyway" and then we have our little resistance thing, which is fun.

I don't see submission as sitting there like a rock, waiting to be ordered. I know my Master, and well. I know His likes and dislikes. I know He wants me to be active in our relationship, to try or suggest things too, He always can say no. My will is not broken, if you have no will there is no submission for me. My love, devotion and desire for Him and trust IN Him are my motivation. I can't imagine having a spirit broken to the point of losing that or the desire to have that either.

_____________________________

“This is love: to fly toward a secret sky, to cause a hundred veils to fall each moment. First to let go of life. Finally, to take a step without feet.” Rumi

(in reply to sirsholly)

Post #: 29

RE: My Will is Broken and Someone Lost the Receipt... - 1/26/2010 10:09:26 AM

DesFIP

Posts: 25191
Joined: 11/25/2007
From: Apple County NY
Status: offline

Broken seems to mean unable to give or deny consent. You haven't any choice but to suffer. And usually it's used in terms of an abusive situation. An abused child doesn't submit to being beaten, they've learned that it doesn't matter to anyone how they feel and something in them breaks no longer allowing them to try to escape. No consent there.

It doesn't appeal here because I've known animals that were broken. Show horses especially. So they will do what they have been taught to do and will do it perfectly and for hours. But they aren't able to learn new things, and they don't enjoy what they do, they just suffer it passively. And they panic if asked to do something new because they expect to be badly beaten when they do it wrong. It isn't a good thing here.

_____________________________

Slave to laundry

Cynical and proud of it!

(in reply to HisSweetElysium)

Post #: 30

RE: My Will is Broken and Someone Lost the Receipt... - 1/26/2010 10:12:57 AM

GYPSYMAMBO

Posts: 660
Joined: 9/26/2009
Status: offline

OP:
Up here in North ALberta there are horse ranchs..
We talk of "breaking" a horse..
It means the horse is trained and repeatedly put in situations to BEND to the owner..to surrender to the WILL of the owner..to have his will become ONE with the owner..to soon be able to do the owner's bidding and act without hesitation..

BUT just as with the my beloved submissives...
I DO NOT WISH to BREAK THE SPIRIT..
the breaths and vapours which animate HIS SOUL..

I want his SPIRIT intact..but his will to be MINE...
His POWER( still intact) then becomes MINE also..
as I travel with him out into sub space or surrender or other delicious explorations...
The beloved submissive has lent me his power also

Resistance can come in many forms and I may sense it in his mind..that is where I find arousal...that I will presuade..seduce..
IF the resistance is feigned then it is not REAL and I am nto interested.
Negotiated impact play or resisting advances can be fun.

PYRO...be your SELF....that is all that is needed..do nto worry about
how to ACT..that is an act....
BE YOU..your match is out there love

GM

_____________________________

"Better served women will better serve the world"

** ** **

"A turd is still a turd even if it is shellaced!"

(in reply to HisSweetElysium)

Post #: 31

RE: My Will is Broken and Someone Lost the Receipt... - 1/26/2010 10:55:37 AM

pyroaquatic

Posts: 1535
Joined: 12/4/2006
From: Pyroaquatica
Status: offline

That something, Antipode, is completely up to her... which is why I do not know. It would be extreme hubris for me to decide.

AAkasha, as usual, hits it right on the head. The term can differ depending on the relationship. Communication at this point is important. I had a vague feeling of this.

I have had only one experience of this thing called subspace... a floaty time where my head was connected to my body like a balloon tied to a post. Is that another term for it? Does 'Breaking' = 'Authentic Submission' = 'Subspace'?

Also... Dominasola gets 1000 Pyroaquatic points... since we are all willynilly about point giving. The Elite Geek Street Gang will rise again!

Waiting, waiting, and more waiting. This is a good thing. I have had lots of practice at this thing called 'Waiting'. I am patient.

_____________________________

You are what your deep, driving desire is.
As your desire is, so is your will.
As your will is, so is your deed.
As your deed is, so is your destiny.
-Brihadaranyaka Upanishad IV.4.5

(in reply to antipode)

Post #: 32

RE: My Will is Broken and Someone Lost the Receipt... - 1/26/2010 11:03:32 AM

Dominasola

Posts: 582
Joined: 9/18/2008
From: Ottawa, Canada
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: pyroaquatic

Also... Dominasola gets 1000 Pyroaquatic points... since we are all willynilly about point giving. The Elite Geek Street Gang will rise again!

One day, we shall take over the world!

_____________________________

I have made a ceaseless effort not to ridicule, not to bewail, not to scorn human actions, but to understand them.

—Baruch Spinoza

The measure of a man is what he does with power.

—Pittacus

(in reply to pyroaquatic)

Post #: 33

RE: My Will is Broken and Someone Lost the Receipt... - 1/26/2010 12:10:46 PM

domiguy

Posts: 12952
Joined: 5/2/2006
Status: offline

This is nothing more than expectations being met. It is all so much of the nonsense that transpires out here. Since we know that there is no such legal entity as "human ownership" almost everything that goes on between two folks out here occurs between the ears and twix them legs. Either one cannot be entirely dismissed as the driving force as to what someone seeks.

We see people routinely make such a big deal out of this whole bdsm thingy. People act like it is overly complicated and demands so much more attention than what transpires bgetween a 'nilla couple. In actuality there is little difference. If you don't feel that your needs are being met, you split. Pretty straightforward shit.

Everything else is just some fictionalized posturing and a Gorean fantasizing over how the relationship is supposed to go down.

Which in it's self can lead to some very serious disappointment once you realize that your fantasies are not likely to be wholly met.

< Message edited by domiguy -- 1/26/2010 12:13:13 PM >

_____________________________

(in reply to Dominasola)

Post #: 34

RE: My Will is Broken and Someone Lost the Receipt... - 1/26/2010 2:01:35 PM

Whiplashsmile4

Posts: 2305
Joined: 12/2/2008
Status: offline

For me, owning a submissive who's will has been broken is as about as excieting as trying to get a Broken Willed Dog to play fetch. It just lays there looking around at everything uncertain about what to do. It's tail does not even wag.. and frankly it's a lot of work trying to get the Dog to go fetch the stick. If I simply wanted to own a dog, that never bothered me, and never did anything (good or bad). Well, a broken will dog would be just fine. Then again, a stuffed Animal off the Shelves of Wal-Mart are just as good. Wait, I might invest in some Zhu Zhu pets because they at least do something without woes. Personally, it would be stupid if I bought a zhu zhu pet, and yanked out it's batteries (will power). Personally, I enjoy the power of the on/off button. Makes things a little more interesting. Having a Will Broken submissive around me, well... just something that looks nice for awhile... but the reality soon would set in... and I'd be wondering why I have somebody taking up space and breathing the same air. I'd be trying to spend countless hours trying to fix something broken... really, that's a lot of work.

(in reply to pyroaquatic)

Post #: 35

RE: My Will is Broken and Someone Lost the Receipt... - 1/26/2010 2:03:16 PM

Whiplashsmile4

Posts: 2305
Joined: 12/2/2008
Status: offline

Please Please Please... Mistress/Master... Please I wanna be your little broken zhu zhu pet... you bought from WalMart and Lost the Receipt for...

Trust me. If I can't fix it, or return it... it's fated for the pit of darkness at the local landfill or the smoldering fires of the burn barrel.

< Message edited by Whiplashsmile4 -- 1/26/2010 2:07:15 PM >

(in reply to DesFIP)

Post #: 36

RE: My Will is Broken and Someone Lost the Receipt... - 1/26/2010 3:05:27 PM

LadyAngelika

Posts: 8070
Joined: 7/4/2004
Status: offline

quote:

We see people routinely make such a big deal out of this whole bdsm thingy. People act like it is overly complicated and demands so much more attention than what transpires bgetween a 'nilla couple. In actuality there is little difference. If you don't feel that your needs are being met, you split. Pretty straightforward shit.

This might be the most intelligent thing that I've ever read from you. And it is right on the money.

- LA

_____________________________

Une main de fer dans un gant de velours ~ An iron hand in a velvet glove

(in reply to domiguy)

Post #: 37

RE: My Will is Broken and Someone Lost the Receipt... - 1/26/2010 3:07:59 PM

domiguy

Posts: 12952
Joined: 5/2/2006
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyAngelika

quote:

We see people routinely make such a big deal out of this whole bdsm thingy. People act like it is overly complicated and demands so much more attention than what transpires bgetween a 'nilla couple. In actuality there is little difference. If you don't feel that your needs are being met, you split. Pretty straightforward shit.

This might be the most intelligent thing that I've ever read from you. And it is right on the money.

- LA

You would now like to blow me? My plan is infallible and it is working. No matter which end of the paddle you be...You will all sooner or later come to domiguy.

_____________________________

(in reply to LadyAngelika)

Post #: 38

RE: My Will is Broken and Someone Lost the Receipt... - 1/26/2010 3:10:22 PM

littlewonder

Posts: 15659
Status: offline

When I first met Master I had said in passing that I wanted him to "break" me. He commented that he doesn't break his toys. He wants someone who willingly walks into her submission, begging for it all the while.

At first I wasn't sure how to take this but the longer I'm with him the more I want to serve, submit, surrender to him because he is such a special man that I just can't deny him anything at all.

I have no desire to resist him nor does he wish me to. If I did I think I"d probably be standing on the side of the road pretty quickly without him. I don't want that to happen.

I think when you find the right person who complements you, then you'll find that you want to give all of yourself to them and they do as well to you because there's such a deep love and caring for each other.

(in reply to sirsholly)

Post #: 39

RE: My Will is Broken and Someone Lost the Receipt... - 1/26/2010 6:27:48 PM

Andalusite

Posts: 2492
Joined: 1/25/2009
Status: offline

I have a different take on this. I think of it as "breaking" the will in terms of training and educating it, like breaking a horse, not shattering it into pieces. Willing compliance, complete engagement, yielding in mind and body, melding into a team is the aim, not trauma that leaves the person a mindless shell.

My Master and I like resistance play, and he's fine with me initiating it. Sometimes the resistance is real, if I struggle with something, but I don't play games then. I talk to him directly about my concerns, and perhaps even come up with a few suggestions to ease me through it.

< Message edited by Andalusite -- 1/26/2010 6:29:26 PM >

(in reply to sirsholly)

Post #: 40

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