My Will is Broken and Someone Lost the Receipt...

My Will is Broken and Someone Lost the Receipt... (Full Version)

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pyroaquatic -> My Will is Broken and Someone Lost the Receipt... (1/25/2010 8:18:56 PM)
for the purposes of explaining why I am asking these questions... I do not want to detract from the on going discussions of others. Merely to add to it while making it stand on its own. I am hoping this is a better quality of "Why does Dominant like X, Y, and Z." I've always been afraid of appearing to be just like another jackass... I will admit this: I have always fantasized about a woman slowly breaking me. This Willpower-thing is a tricky beast to define, however. If I want my will to be broken... is that really breaking it? What is the purpose of a broken will? Is it to do stupid human tricks? "Fetch Fido!" Would it not be better for the submissive to passionately and actively strive to please the Dominant? Does the resistance of such add to the flavor of play? The coyness of my "Oh you can't have this..." versus Your "Oh.... but I will!" ---- I've been thinking, and this may or may not be a good thing. and my laundry is still not done. I've used the search function and was not satisfied. I've noticed that while some like resistance others are put off by it completely. Perhaps some like the resistance slowly chipped away, just like the sweat that flings off the body post-caning. Thoughts?

camille65 -> RE: My Will is Broken and Someone Lost the Receipt... (1/25/2010 8:26:23 PM)
My first thought is this: What you do call having 'your will' broken? What does that really mean to you?

pyroaquatic -> RE: My Will is Broken and Someone Lost the Receipt... (1/25/2010 8:36:39 PM)
It does not mean anything to me. If I were to be in a relationship, it would not be mine any longer. Bare with me please. Edited to add... you know what... I don't know. That is why I am asking. I am internally (and eternally) confused about this subject!!!

LadyAngelika -> RE: My Will is Broken and Someone Lost the Receipt... (1/25/2010 8:55:55 PM)
quote: I've noticed that while some like resistance others are put off by it completely. I like authenticity. If really, you like it, don't be coy and pretend that you don't to play little games. Don't be self-indulgent about it either. But if you have authentic resistance to something (and everyone does) then it can be hot. But this requires a lot of communication to break down. Does that somewhat answer your question? - LA

pyroaquatic -> RE: My Will is Broken and Someone Lost the Receipt... (1/25/2010 9:06:09 PM)
So let me put this into perspective.... I absolutely hate the thought of sounds or anything going into my penis. Typing that out is actually making me nauseous. if i let my Lady do this.... how does this go against 'my will'. it is her will, but it is my will to accept her will as my will. AHHHHH i have an authentic resistance to castration as well... but i am not letting anyone cut off my jewels... on purpose. I say that now... but...

NihilusZero -> RE: My Will is Broken and Someone Lost the Receipt... (1/25/2010 9:09:23 PM)
The first thing that pops out to me is your use of contrary words on the same issue. You show an underlying motion towards the surrender of the will yet still refer to it as "breaking". Either the apprehension is a sort of silent inner alarm that is intended to make you think about this process because there are carefu issues to weigh before deciding if you can recklessly open the door and jump...or it is a fabrication of geocultural expectations and impositions that almost always hold the disintegration of the will as something negative, forcing you to an internal fight between two near-subconscious factions. Try taking the fantasizing tour farther along in your head. What are all the wondrous pros you could see in a situation where your will is stripped bare with someone you would trust to be in that position? What are all the fear-inducing cons of that same hypothetical?

NihilusZero -> RE: My Will is Broken and Someone Lost the Receipt... (1/25/2010 9:14:14 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: pyroaquatic So let me put this into perspective.... I absolutely hate the thought of sounds or anything going into my penis. Typing that out is actually making me nauseous. if i let my Lady do this.... how does this go against 'my will'. it is her will, but it is my will to accept her will as my will. AHHHHH I had used a similar visual aid in an old thread, but I think it would be useful here to: Consider your will (in the context presented), not as this: [img]http://www.kostagara.com/blog/wp-content/uploads/2009/09/on-off-switch.jpg[/img] But as this: [img]http://www.revolutionyouth1.com/sitebuilder/images/sound_board-381x280.jpg[/img]

LadyAngelika -> RE: My Will is Broken and Someone Lost the Receipt... (1/25/2010 9:18:46 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: pyroaquatic So let me put this into perspective.... I absolutely hate the thought of sounds or anything going into my penis. Typing that out is actually making me nauseous. if i let my Lady do this.... how does this go against 'my will'. it is her will, but it is my will to accept her will as my will. AHHHHH i have an authentic resistance to castration as well... but i am not letting anyone cut off my jewels... on purpose. I say that now... but... Ok, well all of this is within the realm of negotiated limits, right? I classify hard limits into two categories 1) those that I don't find morally offensive but squick me (blood play, needles) and 2) those that I find morally problematic. When I meet any play partner, the way I say it is here is what I like to do, and here are my hard limits. If we have the same hard limits, then we have no issues. If his scope of hard limits goes beyond the ones I find morally problematic, there are really good chances I won't date him. If they go beyond what squick me, there are good chances he may go without this kind of play, and if that is an issue for him, we will probably not get together. Now if his scope of hard limits is more narrow than mine, he needs to be open to exploring and expanding his hard limits. That is how I see things and I will not limit my play to cater to his limits, though I will be smart about things and ease him into things. Since I'm not that extreme, this has rarely been an issue. So yes, in what I'm saying above, some things might be done "against your will" as you say, which isn't the same as nonconsensually. - LA

pyroaquatic -> RE: My Will is Broken and Someone Lost the Receipt... (1/25/2010 9:27:12 PM)
Okay.... forget the word... 'broken'. Surrender, yes a sweet succulent word. To yield. Can you submit but not fully yield? Okay... I give (;3). I need more buttons pushed. I have limits, yes... and I have no idea what they are. I am young and therefore stupid. (and while I completely understand what you mean with those pictures... there are more states than two.... the master control board is also finite. we want the infinite model, right?)

pyroaquatic -> Authentic Surrender (1/25/2010 9:35:11 PM)
So I can't show that I too excited about getting bound? (it has been a few..half-dozen months... i can't remember the last time). I am not allowed to play the role of a resistor... or I am? Huh?! so the goal is Authentic Surrender.... without it being fake. well, I don't try to be real... I just am. I am still confused but now the head-ache is less.

LadyAngelika -> RE: Authentic Surrender (1/25/2010 9:50:09 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: pyroaquatic So I can't show that I too excited about getting bound? (it has been a few..half-dozen months... i can't remember the last time). I am not allowed to play the role of a resistor... or I am? Huh?! so the goal is Authentic Surrender.... without it being fake. well, I don't try to be real... I just am. I am still confused but now the head-ache is less. I don't know how you came to those conclusions based on what I wrote... If being bound turns you on, share that with her. But don't be jumping around with rope begging to be tied. Be sweet about it, tell her how you love to feel vulnerable to her, be seductive about it. As for playing the role of the resistor, I'd say that when I know someone well and he does it in a cheeky manner, it can be fun. But we both know he's playing and he's honest about it. So bottom line, just be real! Yes. Be yourself. She will either accept you for that or not. You are young and have plenty of time to find someone who accepts you for you. - LA

pyroaquatic -> RE: Authentic Surrender (1/25/2010 9:58:31 PM)
So I should have the rope in my teeth with pleading eyes, right? Is that seductive enough? there... that seems like a congruent will-dur-beast...... edited to add.... don't worry about my conclusions. They do not make sense to anyone, let alone me. Just part of the strangeness of pyroaquatic.

NihilusZero -> RE: My Will is Broken and Someone Lost the Receipt... (1/25/2010 10:01:08 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: pyroaquatic we want the infinite model, right? Nope. Without even getting into humans being finite creatures, the degree of thought-worthy facets is certainly going to be growing and expansive, but nothing that isn't eventually manageable. The things that are easily within your realm of comfort don't even need to be adjusted (your will over, let's say, how you are to keep your facial hair. Not something you'd have to specify, is it? It would fall under the most likely simply elements surrendered depending on the dynamic). The sound board dials and knobs should represent that middle-ground between the things you'd willingly surrender and the thing you're pretty sure you cannot/will not and all the variations in between. Every experience, when engaged in, is a new exposure (first hand) to how you feel about the adjustment of that knob in the surrender category. Every relationship has these instances where real events actually inwardly test the partners as to how they deal with the situation, particularly for future occasions. This shouldn't need to be much different.

pyroaquatic -> RE: My Will is Broken and Someone Lost the Receipt... (1/25/2010 10:03:24 PM)
We are finite in lifespan, but it is obvious that we are quite infinite by composition.

dreamerdreaming -> RE: My Will is Broken and Someone Lost the Receipt... (1/25/2010 10:13:22 PM)
I would not suffer any real resistance. Something the boy didn't want, he'd hafta tell me about it, and then I would chose. If I told him he may hafta suffer it anyway, then he knows that he's required to suffer it willingly, compliantly. If I wanted some play resistance I could just order him to put up some playful resistance for me to conquer. But that would be the exeption. And I only want it when I want it. As a rule no I don't want any resistance. My slave must be my willing, obedient, compliant slave. That is what turns me on.

NihilusZero -> RE: My Will is Broken and Someone Lost the Receipt... (1/25/2010 10:13:56 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: pyroaquatic We are finite in lifespan, but it is obvious that we are quite infinite by composition. Unless you're talking of microphysics (which doesn't really affect us), as a species we're pretty varied, but not infinite. And you don't need to worry about that overwhelming variety yourself unless you've got some special empathic/absorption power like from a Heroes TV show character. [:D]

AAkasha -> RE: Authentic Surrender (1/25/2010 10:22:14 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: pyroaquatic So I should have the rope in my teeth with pleading eyes, right? Is that seductive enough? there... that seems like a congruent will-dur-beast...... edited to add.... don't worry about my conclusions. They do not make sense to anyone, let alone me. Just part of the strangeness of pyroaquatic. Hmmm.... I am not sure about it. The rope in the teeth, the pleading eyes - to me, that's still asking for it, begging for it, but still "cute" - sure, but no, that's not what turns me on about the process of making a man submit. I mean he's just telling me he wants it after all (note: lots of femdoms DO like this kind of willingness/eagerness and a playful way about it - even one in this thread; my style is more for surrender, vulnerability, fear, sacrifice, so I like a different flavor.) I am not sure if this will make any sense. And unfortunately, this is where a lot of men/subs/bottoms let impatience get the best of them. The reality is simple for me: If I am attracted to a man, I want to tie him up; I want to restrain him, I want to gag him, I want to see him struggle. These urges come over me, 100% of the time (not sometimes, not maybe, but yes, 100% of the time) that attraction is at a the level of -- for example, "first kisses." If I have reached a level of chemistry with a guy that I am romancing a kiss, or some playful hair pulling, or ANY kind of physical fun, then I am, indeed, imagining him in restraints. That's just how I am wired. Lust = need for bondage. But it has to be on my terms and not because the guy wants it. This is how it is for me. I can make exceptions, sure. I do all the time. And lots of times it works out ok, and the bdsm is "fun." But predatory-Akasha can get the itch scratched one way - that's if it comes from my camp on my terms. And that's also when it's the most intense, most relentless and most raw -- because I'm 100% at the wheel. If I have a little bondage bunny in my radar and I'm going to hook up with him, I go so far as to say up front; Don't talk about bondage, don't ask for it, don't bring me toys, don't do anything. Just react. Promise me that. And if he can keep his lips closed about it at least until I get the duct tape in place so neither of us have to worry about him asking, then we're in good shape. I just like to be in charge when it comes to bondage. Now, your same scenario, in an existing relationship (regular play partner, boyfriend, whatever) where the bondage is "asked for" in a cute way - sure, that's ok. I guess. Still, any guy who has gotten to know me intimately enough and deeply enough knows my bondage urges and cruel streak are best left to their own timing. It's not something I turn on and off - it just cycles on its own, and I prefer to act on it when the urges are burning really hot, because it's the most mindblowing for me at those times. Akasha

LadyPact -> RE: Authentic Surrender (1/25/2010 11:23:45 PM)
I've never cared much for the term 'breaking' Myself. Even in the best of terms, it makes the whole thing sounds as if it's something that happens all at once, rather than the process that I see it to be. It makes it sound harsh and shattering, rather than the slipping away, the taking pieces bit by bit. It's not one event, but a course that happens over many events and experiences. If it were instantaneous, I probably wouldn't enjoy it as much. Just like in NZ's visual aide, it's adjusting those various knobs to where they are in tune to bring the result that is desired. Sure, each slight change may not even be noticeable at first, but over the course of time, the sound board produces something entirely different than what you started with, but it happened in such a subtle way with each tweak that it's almost surprising when you compare the later result with where you started. One day, you just wake up and realize that it is. The surrender is there and you aren't even quite sure how it happened, but there's no denying it did. You look at where you're standing in the journey and you turn back to look back to the place you started, realizing just how far it is that you've come along. It didn't seem like it was a great distance because you really were just going one step at a time. Yet, those steps add up and it almost amazes you that you've made all this progress. That you made it to this place.

ranja -> RE: My Will is Broken and Someone Lost the Receipt... (1/26/2010 1:16:05 AM)
in my opinion there is a big difference between fantasy and reality... it is very ok to fantasise about being taken against your will, being tortured proper and being raped... being kept in a cage for ever... BUT these things can only be acted out after discussion and the making of an agreement with a partner, a plan of sorts... so if you go about this healthily it will NEVER be totally real and there will ALWAYS be limits as to how far a 'game' can go. The trick is to become realistic about your desires and develop an ability to fool yourself with smoke and mirrors... get lost in the moment. Many girls dream about the handsome Dominant who takes them and rapes them and abuses them, the fantasy is very common... and if you get comfortable with illusion and talking about your desires you might have a blast.

sirsholly -> RE: My Will is Broken and Someone Lost the Receipt... (1/26/2010 1:18:00 AM)
quote: I have always fantasized about a woman slowly breaking me. seems to me that if your will is broken you no longer submit...just passively go along with whatever is happening. [sm=dunno.gif]

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