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random lament - 1/24/2010 7:28:31 PM   
johninknox


Posts: 9
Joined: 1/22/2010
Status: offline 		Just a lament about an experience I've just had with someone who appears likely to not be using his own photographs... we had several good emails, but then he sent a "proof pic" that didn't really look like his other pics and wasn't the pose I had asked for (which was quite innocent, I'll add -- nothing embarrassing!). I understand and approve of the "no blacklisting" rule, and so I won't give his name, but it's just disappointing is all, and I figured I'd vent a little here.

And yes, it was untrusting of me to ask for a "proof pic" in the first place, but I figure it's only wise. I've been burned in the past by fakers. And if someone isn't using their own pics, there's probably a good chance that they're not trustworthy in other ways, too.

Damn.

< Message edited by johninknox -- 1/24/2010 7:29:39 PM >
Profile   Post #: 1
RE: random lament - 1/24/2010 7:30:15 PM   
Level


Posts: 25145
Joined: 3/3/2006
Status: offline 		It's the fault of wimmin.... Republicans..... Democrats........Brett Favre.........

_____________________________

Fake the heat and scratch the itch
Skinned up knees and salty lips
Let go it's harder holding on
One more trip and I'll be gone

~~ Stone Temple Pilots

(in reply to johninknox)
Profile   Post #: 2
RE: random lament - 1/24/2010 7:42:06 PM   
dcnovice


Posts: 37282
Joined: 8/2/2006
Status: offline 		That's a bummer, John. Sorry about your disappointment!

_____________________________

No matter how cynical you become,
it's never enough to keep up.

JANE WAGNER, THE SEARCH FOR SIGNS OF
INTELLIGENT LIFE IN THE UNIVERSE

(in reply to Level)
Profile   Post #: 3
RE: random lament - 1/24/2010 7:45:54 PM   
KatyLied


Posts: 13029
Joined: 2/24/2005
From: Pennsylvania
Status: offline 		Damn fake people, if only there was a way not to get upset by internet strangers.  I blame...............Level.

_____________________________

“If you want to live a happy life, tie it to a goal, not to people or things.”
- Albert Einstein

(in reply to dcnovice)
Profile   Post #: 4
RE: random lament - 1/24/2010 7:56:00 PM   
Level


Posts: 25145
Joined: 3/3/2006
Status: offline 		You, my dear, are being paged on another thread.

_____________________________

Fake the heat and scratch the itch
Skinned up knees and salty lips
Let go it's harder holding on
One more trip and I'll be gone

~~ Stone Temple Pilots

(in reply to KatyLied)
Profile   Post #: 5
RE: random lament - 1/24/2010 7:58:00 PM   
LafayetteLady


Posts: 7683
Joined: 5/2/2007
From: Northern New Jersey
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: johninknox

Just a lament about an experience I've just had with someone who appears likely to not be using his own photographs... we had several good emails, but then he sent a "proof pic" that didn't really look like his other pics and wasn't the pose I had asked for (which was quite innocent, I'll add -- nothing embarrassing!). I understand and approve of the "no blacklisting" rule, and so I won't give his name, but it's just disappointing is all, and I figured I'd vent a little here.

And yes, it was untrusting of me to ask for a "proof pic" in the first place, but I figure it's only wise. I've been burned in the past by fakers. And if someone isn't using their own pics, there's probably a good chance that they're not trustworthy in other ways, too.

Damn.


I have to say that since it seems you had other photographs, that maybe it was simply the angle or something. Years ago, I met someone from another site. The picture on his profile was definately pretty hot. We chatted by email and im for a bit, but since we lived very close (same town), one night he asked me to dinner, and I was lucky enough to have a babysitter for the night and went. When he picked me up (yea, I know bad safety measure), at first I thought it wasn't even the same guy! When I looked closely, I could tell it was the same person, but when people talk about good angles in photography....well, I don't know who took that picture, but damn it definately showed him at his best, lol.

Things didn't work out, but not because of that. I think maybe you have the reverse. That the other pictures are all really good shots and this one isn't. Since things seemed to be going ok, why don't you comment that he looks so different and ask him why?

(in reply to johninknox)
Profile   Post #: 6
RE: random lament - 1/24/2010 8:00:08 PM   
KatyLied


Posts: 13029
Joined: 2/24/2005
From: Pennsylvania
Status: offline 		Hey, Level, she (the thread OP of the thread in question) has been around before (years ago), under a different name, starting similar topics.

_____________________________

“If you want to live a happy life, tie it to a goal, not to people or things.”
- Albert Einstein

(in reply to LafayetteLady)
Profile   Post #: 7
RE: random lament - 1/24/2010 8:02:37 PM   
LafayetteLady


Posts: 7683
Joined: 5/2/2007
From: Northern New Jersey
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: KatyLied

Hey, Level, she (the thread OP of the thread in question) has been around before (years ago), under a different name, starting similar topics.


Huh? I take it you weren't responding to me?

(in reply to KatyLied)
Profile   Post #: 8
RE: random lament - 1/24/2010 8:07:34 PM   
Level


Posts: 25145
Joined: 3/3/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: LafayetteLady


quote:

ORIGINAL: KatyLied

Hey, Level, she (the thread OP of the thread in question) has been around before (years ago), under a different name, starting similar topics.


Huh? I take it you weren't responding to me?


No, LL, she is talking about another thread.

Katy, sending you a cmail.

_____________________________

Fake the heat and scratch the itch
Skinned up knees and salty lips
Let go it's harder holding on
One more trip and I'll be gone

~~ Stone Temple Pilots

(in reply to LafayetteLady)
Profile   Post #: 9
RE: random lament - 1/24/2010 8:14:07 PM   
Level


Posts: 25145
Joined: 3/3/2006
Status: offline 		And, OP: consider it a good thing, to find out the person is not trustworthy, one less to deal with, and one step hopefully closer to finding what you seek.

_____________________________

Fake the heat and scratch the itch
Skinned up knees and salty lips
Let go it's harder holding on
One more trip and I'll be gone

~~ Stone Temple Pilots

(in reply to Level)
Profile   Post #: 10
RE: random lament - 1/24/2010 8:25:09 PM   
johninknox


Posts: 9
Joined: 1/22/2010
Status: offline
quote:

Since things seemed to be going ok, why don't you comment that he looks so different and ask him why?


LafayetteLady, thanks for the suggestion, but it's not just that he looks different. It's also that there wasn't "proof" in the "proof pic". For example, suppose you asked someone to take a picture of themselves holding a sheet of paper that had "<username> on CM" handwritten on it, and instead you got a picture of someone who looked slightly different and who was holding up a blank sheet of paper with nothing written on it. It's like that.

It's silly (and not very Dom-ly!) to be lamenting, but it was just frustrating, because it has happened in the past. I suppose I will just start asking for proof pics at the very beginning from now on!

And thanks to all the others for the humor and the kind words.

(in reply to LafayetteLady)
Profile   Post #: 11
RE: random lament - 1/24/2010 8:31:58 PM   
Level


Posts: 25145
Joined: 3/3/2006
Status: offline 		Hang in there, John, you sound like a decent guy.

_____________________________

Fake the heat and scratch the itch
Skinned up knees and salty lips
Let go it's harder holding on
One more trip and I'll be gone

~~ Stone Temple Pilots

(in reply to johninknox)
Profile   Post #: 12
RE: random lament - 1/24/2010 8:46:02 PM   
LafayetteLady


Posts: 7683
Joined: 5/2/2007
From: Northern New Jersey
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: johninknox

quote:

Since things seemed to be going ok, why don't you comment that he looks so different and ask him why?


LafayetteLady, thanks for the suggestion, but it's not just that he looks different. It's also that there wasn't "proof" in the "proof pic". For example, suppose you asked someone to take a picture of themselves holding a sheet of paper that had "<username> on CM" handwritten on it, and instead you got a picture of someone who looked slightly different and who was holding up a blank sheet of paper with nothing written on it. It's like that.

It's silly (and not very Dom-ly!) to be lamenting, but it was just frustrating, because it has happened in the past. I suppose I will just start asking for proof pics at the very beginning from now on!

And thanks to all the others for the humor and the kind words.


I can understand how you feel, believe me. I looked at the guy I had dinner with and wanted to ask him who the photographer was so I could get some great shots for myself, lol.

But maybe if someone is fairly local, you could skip the "proof" pic and just meet them somewhere for a cup of coffee. Personally, I don't do "proof pics." I don't ask for them, and I don't send them. I don't have a digital camera, or a camera phone or a web cam. Not planning on getting one anytime soon either. When I was looking, it was just easier to meet for coffee after a phone call or two.

But like Level said, you seem like a decent guy. Shit happens. I know it sucks when you start thinking maybe this person will be someone good and then they aren't. I think most of us have far too many of those stories to count.

(in reply to johninknox)
Profile   Post #: 13
RE: random lament - 1/24/2010 8:51:08 PM   
Aylee


Posts: 24103
Joined: 10/14/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: johninknox

quote:

Since things seemed to be going ok, why don't you comment that he looks so different and ask him why?


LafayetteLady, thanks for the suggestion, but it's not just that he looks different. It's also that there wasn't "proof" in the "proof pic". For example, suppose you asked someone to take a picture of themselves holding a sheet of paper that had "<username> on CM" handwritten on it, and instead you got a picture of someone who looked slightly different and who was holding up a blank sheet of paper with nothing written on it. It's like that.

It's silly (and not very Dom-ly!) to be lamenting, but it was just frustrating, because it has happened in the past. I suppose I will just start asking for proof pics at the very beginning from now on!

And thanks to all the others for the humor and the kind words.


Just chiming in, but if they used flash, it is possible that it kind of "erased" the written words.  Especially if they were not very dark (written in ink pen or pencil.)  I know that taking pics of a computer screen can have this effect. 

Just a thought. 

I have never asked for a proof pic, I usually just go to phone calls and then a meet if at all possible. 

_____________________________

Ceterum censeo Carthaginem esse delendam

I don’t always wgah’nagl fhtagn. But when I do, I ph’nglui mglw’nafh R’lyeh.

(in reply to johninknox)
Profile   Post #: 14
RE: random lament - 1/25/2010 5:13:52 AM   
DesFIP


Posts: 25191
Joined: 11/25/2007
From: Apple County NY
Status: offline 		The problem with demanding a proof pic is that the honest types will be offended and not want to meet you.
If the person you are talking to is local, be wild and crazy and waste an hour meeting for coffee. Even if they aren't the hottie of your dreams, you might make a friend.

_____________________________

Slave to laundry

Cynical and proud of it!


(in reply to Aylee)
Profile   Post #: 15
RE: random lament - 1/25/2010 11:04:07 AM   
johninknox


Posts: 9
Joined: 1/22/2010
Status: offline 		I much prefer to meet people in person, but I wasn't about to spend x hours in a car for someone who turned out to be a liar -- and that is what the issue is, much more than what they looked like. (This person had already posted "his" pics in his profile.) I'm also not going to open up about my relationship interests or history with someone I don't trust. Unfortunately, there were a few other things that didn't quite add up, so this was the icing on the cake. It's also a case where I'm sure it wasn't a technological glitch. We all want to see the best in people, but there's a certain point at which you have to face facts.

DesFIP -- I'm an honest type, and I'm not offended if someone asks me for a proof pic. Free sites attract a fair amount of scammers, unfortunately, and I recognize this.

(in reply to DesFIP)
Profile   Post #: 16
RE: random lament - 1/25/2010 6:26:11 PM   
KatyLied


Posts: 13029
Joined: 2/24/2005
From: Pennsylvania
Status: offline 		LafayetteLady -sorry for the confusion, I did not -fr- and I should've.  Was talking to Level,



_____________________________

“If you want to live a happy life, tie it to a goal, not to people or things.”
- Albert Einstein

(in reply to LafayetteLady)
Profile   Post #: 17
RE: random lament - 1/25/2010 7:45:34 PM   
DomImus


Posts: 2004
Joined: 3/17/2009
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Level
Hang in there, John, you sound like a decent guy.


Yep. You just gotta dig in and prepare to sift through some chaff.


_____________________________

"Regret for the things we did can be tempered by time; it is regret for the things we did not do that is inconsolable." Sidney J. harris

(in reply to Level)
Profile   Post #: 18
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