random lament (Full Version)

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johninknox -> random lament (1/24/2010 7:28:31 PM)

Just a lament about an experience I've just had with someone who appears likely to not be using his own photographs... we had several good emails, but then he sent a "proof pic" that didn't really look like his other pics and wasn't the pose I had asked for (which was quite innocent, I'll add -- nothing embarrassing!). I understand and approve of the "no blacklisting" rule, and so I won't give his name, but it's just disappointing is all, and I figured I'd vent a little here.

And yes, it was untrusting of me to ask for a "proof pic" in the first place, but I figure it's only wise. I've been burned in the past by fakers. And if someone isn't using their own pics, there's probably a good chance that they're not trustworthy in other ways, too.

Damn.



Level -> RE: random lament (1/24/2010 7:30:15 PM)

It's the fault of wimmin.... Republicans..... Democrats........Brett Favre.........



dcnovice -> RE: random lament (1/24/2010 7:42:06 PM)

That's a bummer, John. Sorry about your disappointment!



KatyLied -> RE: random lament (1/24/2010 7:45:54 PM)

Damn fake people, if only there was a way not to get upset by internet strangers.  I blame...............Level.



Level -> RE: random lament (1/24/2010 7:56:00 PM)

You, my dear, are being paged on another thread. [:D]



LafayetteLady -> RE: random lament (1/24/2010 7:58:00 PM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: johninknox

Just a lament about an experience I've just had with someone who appears likely to not be using his own photographs... we had several good emails, but then he sent a "proof pic" that didn't really look like his other pics and wasn't the pose I had asked for (which was quite innocent, I'll add -- nothing embarrassing!). I understand and approve of the "no blacklisting" rule, and so I won't give his name, but it's just disappointing is all, and I figured I'd vent a little here.

And yes, it was untrusting of me to ask for a "proof pic" in the first place, but I figure it's only wise. I've been burned in the past by fakers. And if someone isn't using their own pics, there's probably a good chance that they're not trustworthy in other ways, too.

Damn.


I have to say that since it seems you had other photographs, that maybe it was simply the angle or something. Years ago, I met someone from another site. The picture on his profile was definately pretty hot. We chatted by email and im for a bit, but since we lived very close (same town), one night he asked me to dinner, and I was lucky enough to have a babysitter for the night and went. When he picked me up (yea, I know bad safety measure), at first I thought it wasn't even the same guy! When I looked closely, I could tell it was the same person, but when people talk about good angles in photography....well, I don't know who took that picture, but damn it definately showed him at his best, lol.

Things didn't work out, but not because of that. I think maybe you have the reverse. That the other pictures are all really good shots and this one isn't. Since things seemed to be going ok, why don't you comment that he looks so different and ask him why?



KatyLied -> RE: random lament (1/24/2010 8:00:08 PM)

Hey, Level, she (the thread OP of the thread in question) has been around before (years ago), under a different name, starting similar topics.



LafayetteLady -> RE: random lament (1/24/2010 8:02:37 PM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: KatyLied

Hey, Level, she (the thread OP of the thread in question) has been around before (years ago), under a different name, starting similar topics.


Huh? I take it you weren't responding to me?



Level -> RE: random lament (1/24/2010 8:07:34 PM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: LafayetteLady


quote:

ORIGINAL: KatyLied

Hey, Level, she (the thread OP of the thread in question) has been around before (years ago), under a different name, starting similar topics.


Huh? I take it you weren't responding to me?


No, LL, she is talking about another thread.

Katy, sending you a cmail.



Level -> RE: random lament (1/24/2010 8:14:07 PM)

And, OP: consider it a good thing, to find out the person is not trustworthy, one less to deal with, and one step hopefully closer to finding what you seek.



johninknox -> RE: random lament (1/24/2010 8:25:09 PM)

quote:

Since things seemed to be going ok, why don't you comment that he looks so different and ask him why?


LafayetteLady, thanks for the suggestion, but it's not just that he looks different. It's also that there wasn't "proof" in the "proof pic". For example, suppose you asked someone to take a picture of themselves holding a sheet of paper that had "<username> on CM" handwritten on it, and instead you got a picture of someone who looked slightly different and who was holding up a blank sheet of paper with nothing written on it. It's like that.

It's silly (and not very Dom-ly!) to be lamenting, but it was just frustrating, because it has happened in the past. I suppose I will just start asking for proof pics at the very beginning from now on!

And thanks to all the others for the humor and the kind words.



Level -> RE: random lament (1/24/2010 8:31:58 PM)

Hang in there, John, you sound like a decent guy.



LafayetteLady -> RE: random lament (1/24/2010 8:46:02 PM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: johninknox

quote:

Since things seemed to be going ok, why don't you comment that he looks so different and ask him why?


LafayetteLady, thanks for the suggestion, but it's not just that he looks different. It's also that there wasn't "proof" in the "proof pic". For example, suppose you asked someone to take a picture of themselves holding a sheet of paper that had "<username> on CM" handwritten on it, and instead you got a picture of someone who looked slightly different and who was holding up a blank sheet of paper with nothing written on it. It's like that.

It's silly (and not very Dom-ly!) to be lamenting, but it was just frustrating, because it has happened in the past. I suppose I will just start asking for proof pics at the very beginning from now on!

And thanks to all the others for the humor and the kind words.


I can understand how you feel, believe me. I looked at the guy I had dinner with and wanted to ask him who the photographer was so I could get some great shots for myself, lol.

But maybe if someone is fairly local, you could skip the "proof" pic and just meet them somewhere for a cup of coffee. Personally, I don't do "proof pics." I don't ask for them, and I don't send them. I don't have a digital camera, or a camera phone or a web cam. Not planning on getting one anytime soon either. When I was looking, it was just easier to meet for coffee after a phone call or two.

But like Level said, you seem like a decent guy. Shit happens. I know it sucks when you start thinking maybe this person will be someone good and then they aren't. I think most of us have far too many of those stories to count.



Aylee -> RE: random lament (1/24/2010 8:51:08 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: johninknox

quote:

Since things seemed to be going ok, why don't you comment that he looks so different and ask him why?


LafayetteLady, thanks for the suggestion, but it's not just that he looks different. It's also that there wasn't "proof" in the "proof pic". For example, suppose you asked someone to take a picture of themselves holding a sheet of paper that had "<username> on CM" handwritten on it, and instead you got a picture of someone who looked slightly different and who was holding up a blank sheet of paper with nothing written on it. It's like that.

It's silly (and not very Dom-ly!) to be lamenting, but it was just frustrating, because it has happened in the past. I suppose I will just start asking for proof pics at the very beginning from now on!

And thanks to all the others for the humor and the kind words.


Just chiming in, but if they used flash, it is possible that it kind of "erased" the written words.  Especially if they were not very dark (written in ink pen or pencil.)  I know that taking pics of a computer screen can have this effect. 

Just a thought. 

I have never asked for a proof pic, I usually just go to phone calls and then a meet if at all possible. 



DesFIP -> RE: random lament (1/25/2010 5:13:52 AM)

The problem with demanding a proof pic is that the honest types will be offended and not want to meet you.
If the person you are talking to is local, be wild and crazy and waste an hour meeting for coffee. Even if they aren't the hottie of your dreams, you might make a friend.



johninknox -> RE: random lament (1/25/2010 11:04:07 AM)

I much prefer to meet people in person, but I wasn't about to spend x hours in a car for someone who turned out to be a liar -- and that is what the issue is, much more than what they looked like. (This person had already posted "his" pics in his profile.) I'm also not going to open up about my relationship interests or history with someone I don't trust. Unfortunately, there were a few other things that didn't quite add up, so this was the icing on the cake. It's also a case where I'm sure it wasn't a technological glitch. We all want to see the best in people, but there's a certain point at which you have to face facts.

DesFIP -- I'm an honest type, and I'm not offended if someone asks me for a proof pic. Free sites attract a fair amount of scammers, unfortunately, and I recognize this.



KatyLied -> RE: random lament (1/25/2010 6:26:11 PM)

LafayetteLady -sorry for the confusion, I did not -fr- and I should've.  Was talking to Level,




DomImus -> RE: random lament (1/25/2010 7:45:34 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: Level
Hang in there, John, you sound like a decent guy.


Yep. You just gotta dig in and prepare to sift through some chaff.



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