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release - 1/10/2010 9:46:37 AM   
Knighthunter862


Posts: 32
Joined: 12/30/2009
Status: offline 		what is the number one reason a D,s relationship ends?
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RE: release - 1/10/2010 9:48:25 AM   
osf


Posts: 3288
Joined: 10/19/2009
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quote:

ORIGINAL: Knighthunter862

what is the number one reason a D,s relationship ends?


unrealistic expectations and incompatable expectations

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RE: release - 1/10/2010 9:49:28 AM   
persephonee


Posts: 5089
Joined: 12/15/2007
Status: offline 		Over here, its broken trust.....to be more clear....if i broke the trust Master has in me.  i believe it would be the same result if he broke my trust...but i havent really considered whether that would happen.

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RE: release - 1/10/2010 9:50:27 AM   
sirsholly


Posts: 42360
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From: Quietville
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quote:

Over here, its broken trust
the same here

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RE: release - 1/10/2010 9:55:21 AM   
LillyoftheVally


Posts: 1826
Joined: 7/22/2009
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quote:

ORIGINAL: Knighthunter862

what is the number one reason a D,s relationship ends?


incompatibility

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RE: release - 1/10/2010 9:59:46 AM   
alittleevil


Posts: 235
Joined: 10/25/2007
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quote:

ORIGINAL: osf
quote:

ORIGINAL: Knighthunter862
what is the number one reason a D,s relationship ends?


unrealistic expectations and incompatable expectations


I'm going to go with this too, if you are talking general observations.

If you are asking for each person's experience, i have only had one prior D/s relationship and the short answer is that it ended when my Owner no longer desired to own me. The actual end of the relationship occurred some time later.

Best,
aj


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RE: release - 1/10/2010 10:48:47 AM   
Drifa


Posts: 547
Joined: 7/27/2007
From: Rural Texas
Status: offline 		It would be the same reasons any relationship ends. Either the people involved were never compatible, or people have changed during the course of the relationship and drifted apart.

Good communication is the key to preserving a relationship. I firmly believe that if you are open and thorough in communication, you tend to not get stuck in relationships with people who are incompatible, and once in a relationship you are more likely to not drift apart with good communication.

(in reply to alittleevil)
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RE: release - 1/10/2010 10:55:48 AM   
DarkMasquerade


Posts: 20
Joined: 11/17/2009
From: Germany
Status: offline 		I agree with both the broken trust and the incompatibility answer, though so far, broken trust worked way faster to end a relationship for me than issues with compatibility.
I don't really know if someone breaking your trust or you doing it really is the number one reason but I think it's possible considering that there's a lot of trust needed to actually... well, 'do' bdsm.
Well, anyway, happened to me, wasn't fun, still bothers me sometimes.

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RE: release - 1/10/2010 11:40:27 AM   
chamberqueen


Posts: 1597
Joined: 10/25/2007
From: Kalamazoo, MI
Status: offline 		I'm sure that the answer is more individual than universal.  I know one Dom who ends a relationship if the sub is no longer willing to obey - that is his main criteria.  I have known of subs of have asked for release because they no longer felt that they were getting what they needed, or like the hard work wasn't worth it.  For some it might be a specific act, such as having sex with another partner.  I don't feel that there is one hard and fast rule for release, or for whether or not the relationship may be mended. 

If you boil it down, all of the issues I mentioned above come back down to trust.  A Dom trusts that his sub will obey, a sub trusts that her Dom will make sure that she is fulfilled and will help her not to ever become overwhelmed in the relationship, and depending upon their relationship there may be trust that no additional partner is sought.  Trust is also involved in whether the parties involved are honest with each other.  Even though trust may be the underlying base for most things the conditions of release will be very much relationship dependent.


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RE: release - 1/10/2010 11:44:36 AM   
elleX


Posts: 161
Joined: 10/24/2009
Status: offline 		i would think about incompatibility,,,,,that partner finds after getting closer to each other ,,after digging under the surface as the relation goes deeper .
been disonest and lying is a  reason too ,,
it is about the same thing than regular couples i would think but with differents colors

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RE: release - 1/10/2010 11:49:46 AM   
sweetsub1957


Posts: 2201
Joined: 4/28/2009
Status: offline 		Broken trust/being lied to and, in one case, His death.

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RE: release - 1/10/2010 11:57:23 AM   
RealSub58


Posts: 1073
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Knighthunter862

what is the number one reason a D,s relationship ends?


For the same reasons every relationship ends.

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RE: release - 1/10/2010 12:00:52 PM   
MasterSlaveLA


Posts: 3991
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Knighthunter862

what is the number one reason a D,s relationship ends?


The REALITY doesn't live up to the FANTASY some have about this type of dynamic.



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RE: release - 1/10/2010 12:42:51 PM   
CalifChick


Posts: 10717
Joined: 10/28/2007
From: California
Status: offline 		Did you crosspost this or something?  I know I answered it, but it's gone.

I said the same reason that non d/s relationships end... communication. 


Cali


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RE: release - 1/10/2010 12:54:04 PM   
LadyPact


Posts: 32566
Status: offline 		Incompatibility.

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RE: release - 1/10/2010 1:00:04 PM   
submissiveboy76


Posts: 37
Joined: 2/9/2008
Status: offline 		I echo the sentiments of a couple others here.  A D/s relationship can end for many of the same reasons that a vanilla relationship can end.  A lack of compatibility is the most likely factor.  For a relationship to be healthy, trust, mutual respect, shared interests and chemistry must be present.  If these things never develop or fade away, the the relationship fades away too.  Understand also that I'm not just talking about these qualities as they relate to BDSM, but to the relationship in general.  If the relationship is based only on BDSM, then it's not likely to last in the first place.

Think about how hard it is to meet someone and make a vanilla relationship work.  Now through in the complexities of BDSM, the (sometimes) necessity to hide that from the vanilla world, and the extra dynamic and interests the two parties have.  It becomes exponentially more complex.  All relationships take work.  A BDSM relationship takes even more work . . . . but the rewards are greater ;)

(in reply to Knighthunter862)
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RE: release - 1/10/2010 2:11:29 PM   
windchymes


Posts: 9410
Joined: 4/18/2005
Status: offline 		Failure to eat pussy.

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RE: release - 1/10/2010 2:16:28 PM   
sweetboundesire


Posts: 285
Joined: 10/29/2009
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: windchymes

Failure to eat pussy.

lmao! you beat me to it.

that and definitely trust. It's everything.


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RE: release - 1/10/2010 2:25:09 PM   
ForeverOwned


Posts: 269
Joined: 2/5/2008
Status: offline 		From what i have seen and read i have figured out that it is too much too soon. Instead of getting to know the person as a person first they jump right int the D/s roles. When then goes wrong or starts to fizzle they have nothing to build on.

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RE: release - 1/10/2010 2:38:02 PM   
LaTigresse


Posts: 26123
Joined: 1/15/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Knighthunter862

what is the number one reason a D,s relationship ends?


From what I have seen, people think that the D/s will make it easier than a non D/s relationship. Lot's of people go into it thinking that the power exchange will excuse them from personal responsibility and adult communication.

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