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RE: release - 1/10/2010 2:54:12 PM   
allthatjaz


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It could be as simple as him just going off her or her just going off him
It could be that they never actually fell in love and so all they ever had was the outer shell of D/s with no core
It could be that she broke his trust or he broke hers
It could be that he found someone else whilst sitting at his computer while she cleans his boots
It could be anything but then its a bit like asking why do vanilla relationships break up.

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Profile   Post #: 21
RE: release - 1/10/2010 2:56:57 PM   
littlewonder


Posts: 15659
Status: offline 		I don't think there is any one reason..the same reason any relationship fails...

broken trust
unrealistic expectations
incompatibility
finances

Nothing different from any other relationship really

(in reply to LaTigresse)
Profile   Post #: 22
RE: release - 1/10/2010 4:10:12 PM   
lizi


Posts: 4673
Joined: 2/1/2009
Status: offline 		I can only speak for myself so I don't know what the number one reason is but I'm going with broken trust in one case and incompatibility in others.

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Profile   Post #: 23
RE: release - 1/10/2010 4:17:22 PM   
GYPSYMAMBO


Posts: 660
Joined: 9/26/2009
Status: offline 		OP:
#1...not enough commanalities ,compatability or respect
 
 

D-s relating*usually* for the same reason any relationship ends..
*dishonesty
*lack of integrity
*betrayal
*assumptions before hand that were not talked out
*unclear boundries and expectations
and good old
money,relatives and sex..
 
If it is a casual/binding or on-going PLAY relationship it may end due to incompatibility as others have said as well as lying,misconceptions,
job loss,initmacy issues and on and on...just as for any relating-ship
 
COMMUNICATION IS THE KEY!!
 
 
GM
 

< Message edited by GYPSYMAMBO -- 1/10/2010 4:19:23 PM >

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RE: release - 1/10/2010 4:51:53 PM   
breatheasone


Posts: 4004
Joined: 7/14/2007
Status: offline 		i would think it would be trust. 

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RE: release - 1/10/2010 5:04:15 PM   
windchymes


Posts: 9410
Joined: 4/18/2005
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quote:

ORIGINAL: sweetboundesire


quote:

ORIGINAL: windchymes

Failure to eat pussy.

lmao! you beat me to it.

that and definitely trust. It's everything.






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RE: release - 1/10/2010 5:13:43 PM   
OsideGirl


Posts: 14449
Joined: 7/1/2005
From: United States
Status: offline 		My first D/s relationship ended because it became obvious that we were good friends but not good in a relationship with each other.

My second D/s relationship ended after 6 years because he wanted more committment but a possibility of failure scared him. I couldn't take the hot and cold any longer and ended it.

Third D/s relationship is still going stong after 10 years.

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RE: release - 1/14/2010 6:05:04 PM   
masterlink65


Posts: 683
Joined: 11/3/2007
Status: offline 		i agree. with Drifa

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Profile   Post #: 28
RE: release - 1/14/2010 7:34:38 PM   
itsmeinLV


Posts: 207
Joined: 12/23/2009
Status: offline 		In my opinion, incompatibility.  Then again, that's in any type of relationship.    

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Profile   Post #: 29
RE: release - 1/14/2010 7:37:45 PM   
juliaoceania


Posts: 21383
Joined: 4/19/2006
From: Somewhere Over the Rainbow
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Knighthunter862

what is the number one reason a D,s relationship ends?


I can only tell you why mine ended, which was too many stresses, illnesses, and not the right time to take on a live in arrangement... we should have waited.


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RE: release - 1/14/2010 8:47:42 PM   
PrimalConsonance


Posts: 463
Joined: 7/11/2009
From: Southern New Jersey
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: sweetboundesire


quote:

ORIGINAL: windchymes

Failure to eat pussy.

lmao! you beat me to it.

that and definitely trust. It's everything.




That's what I hear... or "you are what you don't eat" in this case.  Other than that trust and communication failings have a lot to do with it as well.


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RE: release - 1/15/2010 7:54:37 AM   
Acer49


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Joined: 8/7/2009
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quote:

ORIGINAL: Knighthunter862

what is the number one reason a D,s relationship ends?


For the same reasons any other relationship would end I suppose. Lack of honesty, integrity,trust and compatability would be a few

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Profile   Post #: 32
RE: release - 1/15/2010 11:11:55 AM   
lally2


Posts: 2621
Joined: 4/16/2009
Status: offline
trust is a big one for me.

relying on telepathy rather than bog standard communication

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So all I have to do in order to serve him, is to work out exactly how improbable he is, feed that figure into the finite improbability generator, give him a fresh cup of really hot tea ... and turn him on!

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Profile   Post #: 33
RE: release - 1/15/2010 11:55:14 AM   
Prinsexx


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Joined: 8/27/2007
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quote:

ORIGINAL: Knighthunter862

what is the number one reason a D,s relationship ends?

There’s a model that suggests that there are predisposing personal factors: within individuals, (true for all relationships not just kinky) and that these are
distasteful personal habits,
change in interests,
poor previous role models
and poor social skills.

That there is a precipitating factors: such as: deception, boredom, relocation, conflict. (I experienced a relationship where there was a habit which I just found nauseating and revolting. It was nail biting which he had managed to hide from me and I released myself and chucked the guy out of my house).

This model of the breakdown of relationships illustrates that this is a staggered process (Duck 1988) and follows the following stages.

Intra-psychic phase – one of the partners becomes increasingly dissatisfied with the relationship. If they carry on being dissatisfied, they move on to the next stage.

The other person becomes involved. They discuss it. If it’s not resolved, the sorry situation moves on to the next stage. Social phase – here the warring couple air their grievances to their friends/ /familycommunity.

The social implications of a potential breakup are negotiated (who gets what etc). The relationship may be saved here (e.g. by the intervention of a trusted other), but if it is not, they move on to the next stage.

Grave-dressing phase – the ex-partners begin the organization of their post-relationship lives. The publicise their own accounts of the split, and what the nature of their relationship with their ex-partner is. They may well try and make themselves look good – or else potential partners may be scared off!

I believe within this process there is the unrealistic belief that just because two people (or more) have kink in common that this alone is going to maintain the relationship, when in actuality any two people could do kink and come together with false expectations of a long term relationship especially via a social networking system.

And further that given the entire range of kink and fetish possibilities finding a match wherein one partner does not find fault in the other is exceptionally difficult. Often when when is the only thing in common (ie there are no kids/house projects/joint financial commitments) then the entire process can be swift and brutal, often looking to others and feeling as if the process had no stages whatsoever and happened suddenly.

< Message edited by Prinsexx -- 1/15/2010 11:57:27 AM >

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RE: release - 1/15/2010 12:18:07 PM   
SailingBum


Posts: 3225
Joined: 12/10/2007
From: Sailin the stormy sea
Status: offline 		she was a no good life sucking bitch and those are her good points.  Any questions.  smirkle

BadOne


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RE: release - 1/15/2010 12:30:11 PM   
Prinsexx


Posts: 4584
Joined: 8/27/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: SailingBum

she was a no good life sucking bitch and those are her good points.  Any questions.  smirkle

BadOne



None. I understand completely.


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Profile   Post #: 36
RE: Release - 1/15/2010 2:10:12 PM   
MarcEsadrian


Posts: 852
Joined: 8/24/2008
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quote:

ORIGINAL: Knighthunter862
What is the number one reason a D/s relationship ends?



- Incompatibility
- Lack of personal accountability
- Unrealistic expectations
- Poor decision making

There are more, but the above are what I would call the Four Horsemen where any relationship is concerned. It's fruitless to calculate a "numero uno reason" why such relationships fail, as it's most likely a mixed recipe. From what I have gleaned in life, this seems true.

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RE: Release - 1/15/2010 6:34:55 PM   
RealSub58


Posts: 1073
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: MarcEsadrian

- Incompatibility
- Lack of personal accountability
- Unrealistic expectations
- Poor decision making           oh how so very true, thanks for listing it.

There are more, but the above are what I would call the Four Horsemen where any relationship is concerned. It's fruitless to calculate a "numero uno reason" why such relationships fail, as it's most likely a mixed recipe. From what I have gleaned in life, this seems true.

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Profile   Post #: 38
RE: Release - 1/15/2010 10:39:05 PM   
NuevaVida


Posts: 6707
Joined: 8/5/2008
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: MarcEsadrian

There are more, but the above are what I would call the Four Horsemen where any relationship is concerned. It's fruitless to calculate a "numero uno reason" why such relationships fail, as it's most likely a mixed recipe. From what I have gleaned in life, this seems true.


Your reference to the Four Horsemen had me recalling John Gottman's (PhD, marriage counselor for 30+ years, author) list of "The Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse" (of marriage).  This guy is able to predict with 95% accuracy, which marriages will fail, based on these four issues:
  1. Criticism:  "You're such an idiot!" for example
  2. Contempt:  Responding to each other with sarcasm, mockery, eye rolling, hostile humor, cynicism, etc.
  3. Defensiveness:  "I'm not the problem, You are!" for example
  4. Stonewalling:  Shutting down and disengaging
I'd imagine these issues occur in M/s & D/s relationships as much as any other.  People often say "communication problems" are the root of a relationship's demise, but narrowing it down to what kinds of communication problems (such as above) is more specific.

That said, I completely agree with your list, too!  Maybe there are actually 8 horsemen and we just didn't know it. 


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Profile   Post #: 39
RE: release - 1/16/2010 10:13:54 AM   
transensualist


Posts: 6
Joined: 5/18/2008
Status: offline 		Failure to provide goods and/or services.

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Profile   Post #: 40
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