RE: submitting to the inner dom.

RE: submitting to the inner dom. (Full Version)

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Icarys -> RE: submitting to the inner dom. (1/8/2010 6:04:35 AM)
quote: in a way it is a balance but its not a 50:50 balance. my personality is such that i piffle along randomly and get there somehow and sometimes i have to use my dom voice to get something done (already!). the balance is that my personality should have its freedom and when i need to get tough with myself the dom voice/energy (outside of myself btw) takes over. the imbalance is that the dom voice/energy has been over compensating and taking over too much. i was thinking about how angry ive been recently, how close to tears, miserable and empty (we all get moments, i was having one) but i couldnt work out why back then. it just seemed that life had taken over and i had to fight it. but i dont. youre right, it should be possible to take care of myself and not get pushy and nasty. That last line wasn't for you lally. It was for anyone that felt that letting their "inner dom" out meant being nasty to people in some way. I haven't read a whole lot lately of your posts but the ones I have read don't reflect that. I'm sorry that your having trouble with life as of late. It can be very frustrating, having something that you feel you need to keep hidden when you'd really like to let it out. Some people do that with ease but those are people that I would be less attracted to..If I had to pick a female it would be one similar to you..one who payed attention to herself.(Maybe one who had issues with putting forth that dom side)and less likely one who stomped through the boards.

lally2 -> RE: submitting to the inner dom. (1/8/2010 6:14:11 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Icarys quote: in a way it is a balance but its not a 50:50 balance. my personality is such that i piffle along randomly and get there somehow and sometimes i have to use my dom voice to get something done (already!). the balance is that my personality should have its freedom and when i need to get tough with myself the dom voice/energy (outside of myself btw) takes over. the imbalance is that the dom voice/energy has been over compensating and taking over too much. i was thinking about how angry ive been recently, how close to tears, miserable and empty (we all get moments, i was having one) but i couldnt work out why back then. it just seemed that life had taken over and i had to fight it. but i dont. youre right, it should be possible to take care of myself and not get pushy and nasty. That last line wasn't for you lally. It was for anyone that felt that letting their "inner dom" out meant being nasty to people in some way. I haven't read a whole lot lately of your posts but the ones I have read don't reflect that. I'm sorry that your having trouble with life as of late. It can be very frustrating, having something that you feel you need to keep hidden when you'd really like to let it out. Some people do that with ease but those are people that I would be less attracted to..If I had to pick a female it would be one similar to you..one who payed attention to herself.(Maybe one who had issues with putting forth that dom side)and less likely one who stomped through the boards. i knew you werent having a stab at me - but it is something ive recognised and i have been a bit mean [&o] but mostly they gave it back at me. thank you. [:)]

Icarys -> RE: submitting to the inner dom. (1/8/2010 6:22:14 AM)
quote: i knew you werent having a stab at me - but it is something ive recognised and i have been a bit mean but mostly they gave it back at me. thank you. Your welcome.

wisdomtogive -> RE: submitting to the inner dom. (1/8/2010 6:27:38 AM)
Icary's -I personally cannot see why the 'inner dom' or outer dom for that matter would seek the lets be nasty mode. But then as hard as i try, i don't get human behavior. To me that aspect of the dom is pure bullying, and really makes everyone look stupid. Lally, you are doing better then you feel you are. Anger, if not directed at knocking people down, is a great tool and causing the changes we need in our own life. It can be a time to get off the podium with our fingers pointed out, and start looking within at our own blocks. It is at this time, I find that 'inner dom' the most useful. Probably because that is the type of dom i totally respect. They are the ones i respect here as well. Dom/mee who as a rule are compose and show it, tend to also be uplifting to me during times when i needed help. That presence is felt and can be an encouragement for our own inner dom to activate. I might never exchange a word with them, but they guide me with their attitude more then they know. So when you feel out of balance, use the presence of those Doms that inspire the submissive and inner dom within you. wisdomtogive

osf -> RE: submitting to the inner dom. (1/8/2010 7:23:00 AM)
i'm sorry i don't think there is a dom there at all, just everyday woman and submissive woman not getting along if one were dominant then the other would never be able to emerge

wisdomtogive -> RE: submitting to the inner dom. (1/8/2010 8:11:47 AM)
It is okay to disagree with the point of the inner dom within a submissive. i suppose one would have to have the experience to understand it, or dealt with one who did. In my life i have and was fortunate late hubby was able to comprehend it and help that part fly, as well as 1st Dom i had and now Sir. There are so many layers within a person, and being submissive carries them as well. That is where imho the beauty of it all is..transcending beyond .........

osf -> RE: submitting to the inner dom. (1/8/2010 8:38:39 AM)
i think our dominant traits come to the fore with little conflict here it appears not the case, here it appears to be a conflict

wisdomtogive -> RE: submitting to the inner dom. (1/8/2010 8:57:22 AM)
That is when balance comes in. Dare i even suggest that for a dom whose inner submissiver emerges, might find it difficult in balancing. it can be balance, and i seek to balance things. my view on a lot of this is not similiar to others, which is fine. i am on my own quest here not trying to convert anyone into my way of thinking. Some share a part of this quest and some dont. lally brought up something i related too and was able to contribute. Am glad she felt it useful for her. i have learned how to submit to my inner dom, and when i get jammed up it is good to find those that i can use as a temporary guide ...cm, and my relationships have all helped me on that. i take what fits me and leave the rest behind. That is how i live and it works for me.

osf -> RE: submitting to the inner dom. (1/8/2010 9:12:45 AM)
and i often say mileage may vary

Icarys -> RE: submitting to the inner dom. (1/8/2010 9:23:16 AM)
quote: Icary's -I personally cannot see why the 'inner dom' or outer dom for that matter would seek the lets be nasty mode. But then as hard as i try, i don't get human behavior. To me that aspect of the dom is pure bullying, and really makes everyone look stupid. Maybe human behavior is hard for you to understand but it's not for me. I'm no professor on the subject by any means but I'm no slouch either. All a person really has to do is put themselves in the shoes of another and ask.."What would be the various ways to approach this"/"Why is this person reacting this way". As for seeking the nasty mode and the variations of.. It could be a number of reasons. You are right though..A person doing that can be for the reason of bullying and even submissives can display that behavior. That doesn't mean that everything we percieve as bullying is that at all.

osf -> RE: submitting to the inner dom. (1/8/2010 9:38:48 AM)
another mode i use is i'm this and want that, this is my motivation and what would be the motivation of that they are reciprocal

Owlet -> RE: submitting to the inner dom. (1/8/2010 3:28:21 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: lally2 ill never forget being challenged at gatwick airport by a man who stopped me in my exuberant tracks with the statement 'well, i can tell youre not married!' it was almost an accusation that i was far too 'free' far too 'exuberant' and it was offensive to his sense of equilibrium to see a confident woman bouncing through her life and im guessing intimidating him on a level that made him want to challenge me. I just have to say, I can't believe some random stranger said that. Maybe he meant it as a compliment, but it's a very strange one. I probably would have said something along the lines of, "Well, I can tell you're socially retarded!" Strangers making such bold assertions really rubs me the wrong way. As for the topic at hand, I'm not sure I'd call what you're talking about an "inner Dom." I'd simply call mine the thing that makes me get up in the morning, go to work, and pretend I give a shit about customers looking for the Twilight series (bookstore). I think you should be happy with this development, as you called it. It means you can take care of yourself and produce your own happiness without the aid of another, but it just so happens that the balancing and disciplinary influence of a man makes that a bit easier for you. That isn't pathetic at all.

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