RE: Do You Remember BDSM?

RE: Do You Remember BDSM? (Full Version)

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DomImus -> RE: Do You Remember BDSM? (1/7/2010 4:06:30 PM)
Preaching to the choir. Those of us who are familiar with that side of bdsm don't post whiney threads about scammers and the like. The folks who post those threads have never likely had any real time interaction with any of it to even be able to forget it. All those threads don't serve to distract me from what's important. They solidify it. You left out breath play and gun play.

Acer49 -> RE: Do You Remember BDSM? (1/7/2010 7:07:12 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: LadyPact I know, I know..... I'm going to disappoint a bunch of folks who are reading this instead of the latest fake or moderation thread. I'm not going to ask in sixteen different ways about how do you determine what a scammer is or how to get other basic information that has been done to death. It's not a question about why people disappear or how do you know someone is a player. Instead, I'm going to take five minutes of your day for something else....... Do you remember rope? Not just one kind, but a hundred kinds. Do you remember talking about what types of rope you like and why talking about how one kind feels better on your skin? Do you remember talking about how to dye it or the lengths that you prefer to have the pieces cut? Do you remember floggers? All kinds of those, too. Ones that have a thud sensation and the ones that sting? Everything from a long whip to those silly little ones that might have made for a good keychain, but then you found out it had a little bit of bite to it, so it ended up in your bag instead of the keyring. Oh, and needles. Remember those? They come in all kinds of sizes. Feeling the cold metal under your skin or watching them sink under the flesh while you guided them. The designs that can be made or the different ways they can be applied. Then there are the things that most folks would think about connected to BDSM at all. You found them at the dollar store or laying around the house. Who knew they could be such fun! Or the BDSM that didn't need anything at all, other than the mind? What about impact play without implements or primal play? Do you remember the fun you had? Having control of another and how that power was like an aphrodisiac? Do you remember how that in bondage, you felt free? Do you remember what it was about this thing, this BDSM, that brought you to where you are in your life today? Do you remember what formed your preferences about play? Your hard limits? How you best soar? That inner top or bottom in you. The one who had something in this world of BDSM that took you someplace and reached you in a way that it never had before and it spoke to you so loudly that it's impossible to ignore. Believe it or not, those things can be here. Sure, there's a lot of white noise about the fakes, and the crap, and the outright bullshit, but it really is still here. The thing is, you can't stop being excited about it. If you do, it stops being fun and amazing, or wonderful and exciting. Do you want to lose that? [:)] No, no I don't. excellent post

LadyAngelika -> RE: Do You Remember BDSM? (1/7/2010 9:04:03 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: wisdomtogive Hello LadyAngelika I would like to comment on what you wrote: quote: I'd also love to get to a place where people talk about an inner struggle with something, that they get support from a group that hasn't been so absolutely jaded by wankers. I dream of a place where together we might help each other figure some stuff out and build on each other's ideas rather than trashing them. It wasn't like this at the genesis of Collarme in 2004. Sure there were flame wars but not 50+ page ones. It would be nice to see Cm message boards going back to that period where inner struggles could be talked about. I know for myself, instead of starting a post about things that i struggle with, i go to the search button and look for posts written in 2004-2006. Seem to be a different way of talking to each other then, which I do find helpful. Maybe someday that period of time will resurface again. blessings, wisdomtogive You know, we had quality people then and we have quality people now. Back then, the collarme message boards weren't as known as they are today so we benefitted from a little bit of shelter from a lot of the chaos we see now. Don't get me wrong, there was chaos!! Just not as much. Also, we were a relatively small group. The mods gave us some us some hard coded rank codes (actually LadyBeckett picked mine "Vicieuse Exquise") and we knew each other well. Many of us met in person (as I'm sure many do now) and have created bonds. But now, on the flipside, I see such a huge variety of people doing WIITWD in such a variety of ways and it isn't so rigid. I think that the boards could be better than they ever were. Five things, in my opinion, need to happen: (1) We need to stop responding to trolls and wankers. If we don't feed the trolls, they WILL go away. That means not even responding to tell they are trolls. This takes self-discipline and isn't always easy. I know, I've gotten on the bandwagon and fed a few myself. (2) We need to stay on topic with the OP and be weary of the digressing. A little digressing is fun, I'll admit. But we need to know when it's time to get back on track. (3) We need to let threads die when they are over and stop the 50 page arguments. (4) We need to express our disagreement or difference of opinion in a respectful tone and when someone disagrees with us, we need to remember that it's totally ok, in fact, we might learn something. (5) We need to start well thought out threads! I know there are great minds here and I'd love to hear more from them! - LA

Kana -> RE: Do You Remember BDSM? (1/8/2010 7:30:56 AM)
"Do you remember, your President Nixon? Do you remember, the bills you have to pay Or even yesterday?" DB

roland23 -> RE: Do You Remember BDSM? (1/8/2010 8:13:24 AM)
The greatest thing about the good ol' days of BDSM was the lack of self-righteousness and judgmentalism. In the 70s, 80s and 90s, we were cutting edge, alternative, countercultural, now it seems that many elements of this wonderful world have been co-opted by mainstream American culture and if there is one thing that many of us Old Guard don't like it is mainstream American culture. What's next whips at Walmart?

johndafreak -> RE: Do You Remember BDSM? (1/9/2010 2:02:24 AM)
quote: The greatest thing about the good ol' days of BDSM was the lack of self-righteousness and judgmentalism. In the 70s, 80s and 90s, we were cutting edge, alternative, countercultural, now it seems that many elements of this wonderful world have been co-opted by mainstream American culture and if there is one thing that many of us Old Guard don't like it is mainstream American culture. What's next whips at Walmart? quote: Freaks Forever!!!

Mercnbeth -> RE: Do You Remember BDSM? (1/9/2010 8:22:00 AM)
quote: Do you remember the fun you had? Having control of another and how that power was like an aphrodisiac? Do you remember how that in bondage, you felt free? Do you want to lose that? Lady P, you can't "lose that"; you have to give it away. I do see a lot of that going on. Often rationalized for expediency to achieve a sensation or to defer to 'criticism' coming from people whose closest BDSM experience has been achieved as a result of one handed web surfing. Getting up in age - I'm glad the most distant memory I have to use to remember the "fun" I had was this morning at about 6AM; or going back to a more involved, longer, more 'intense' "fun"; only last night after coming back from the airport. I have the ability to draw from first hand experience regarding the late 70's and 80's and the New York scene'. There were a lot less labels being thrown around back then. Hell we didn't even know we were in a 'lifestyle'; that label was associated with our homosexual friends. We weren't 'vanilla' or any other flavor. There were some 'leather folks', but collectively the 'secret handshake' identity was we were 'kinky', or into 'kinky things'. There wasn't such a huge demarcation between sex and BDSM sensations. Being identified as dominant or submissive wasn't important or even a function of activity. Fakes, 'community' standards, and the 'one true way' people were around then as well. Honestly I, and many of my fellow 'perverts' enjoyed being amused by them. Then, like now, you choose how it effects you. Then, like now, I deal with it by being selective and avoiding people, and places, with views conflicting with my personal, and admitted 'one true way' goal - FUN without 'drama'. I think there is much to be said positive about today's 'scene' behind the facade. I still have my first crop and leather slapper that I purchased, enviously sure that the clerk knew my real intentions for them, from the horse tack store suggested by my friends in the scene. Going there I saved $50 from the cost if I bought the same items at the 'Pink Pussycat' in NYC. Now, there are places, both internet and storefront, providing enough competition to drive down prices; although a tack shop, as your reference to 'Dollar Stores' or the ever popular 'Dom-Depot', are still great places to go with some imagination and a perverts eye. Like many things we face today, I don't think there are more, or less, instances of people having the perspective and mindset you seek; you just won't find many of them on-line. There are more venues, more publications, more opportunity, but not more occurrences. There was always 'pressure'. You can't change that fact. You can change letting it affect you.

breatheasone -> RE: Do You Remember BDSM? (1/9/2010 12:33:52 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: LadyPact I know, I know..... I'm going to disappoint a bunch of folks who are reading this instead of the latest fake or moderation thread. I'm not going to ask in sixteen different ways about how do you determine what a scammer is or how to get other basic information that has been done to death. It's not a question about why people disappear or how do you know someone is a player. Instead, I'm going to take five minutes of your day for something else....... Do you remember rope? Not just one kind, but a hundred kinds. Do you remember talking about what types of rope you like and why talking about how one kind feels better on your skin? Do you remember talking about how to dye it or the lengths that you prefer to have the pieces cut? Do you remember floggers? All kinds of those, too. Ones that have a thud sensation and the ones that sting? Everything from a long whip to those silly little ones that might have made for a good keychain, but then you found out it had a little bit of bite to it, so it ended up in your bag instead of the keyring. Oh, and needles. Remember those? They come in all kinds of sizes. Feeling the cold metal under your skin or watching them sink under the flesh while you guided them. The designs that can be made or the different ways they can be applied. Then there are the things that most folks would think about connected to BDSM at all. You found them at the dollar store or laying around the house. Who knew they could be such fun! Or the BDSM that didn't need anything at all, other than the mind? What about impact play without implements or primal play? Do you remember the fun you had? Having control of another and how that power was like an aphrodisiac? Do you remember how that in bondage, you felt free? Do you remember what it was about this thing, this BDSM, that brought you to where you are in your life today? Do you remember what formed your preferences about play? Your hard limits? How you best soar? That inner top or bottom in you. The one who had something in this world of BDSM that took you someplace and reached you in a way that it never had before and it spoke to you so loudly that it's impossible to ignore. Believe it or not, those things can be here. Sure, there's a lot of white noise about the fakes, and the crap, and the outright bullshit, but it really is still here. The thing is, you can't stop being excited about it. If you do, it stops being fun and amazing, or wonderful and exciting. Do you want to lose that? This was so well said. i have VERY fond memories of times i felt very submitted, and flirted with places i know i will visit someday. sigh....yes, its good to be a masochist[:)]

LadyPact -> RE: Do You Remember BDSM? (1/9/2010 1:11:46 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Mercnbeth There are more venues, more publications, more opportunity, but not more occurrences. There was always 'pressure'. You can't change that fact. You can change letting it affect you. I had to cut down some of your post, Merc. I really can't address things that were before My time. I'm sure we'll have better opportunities to get into the deeper levels of the various ages. That wasn't really what I was getting at. It seems to Me that, the more I look at Myself, even if I didn't consider Myself a Dominant, I honestly believe I'd still be a top. I realize there are people out there who don't separate BDSM from D/s or M/s and I don't find a thing wrong with that. I honestly think that's great! Hell, I wish more people would be that happy in life so that very thing would be all they ever wanted to do. I just happen to be one of those folks who enjoy play for play's sake. It's fun and I have the time of My life doing it. I can get energized just reading or talking about it. Very much the same way skydivers love the thrill of the jump. Even when they happen to have folks on the same plane that chicken out or do nothing but talk about their fears and never take the leap. If it were Me, I'd still be there, thrilled to death for the adventure. Lately, it seems around our plane, our General BDSM Discussion, there's less about the thrill of the jump, the windspeed, the altitude, or anything else that is really revelant. There's plenty about 'fakes', who reserved their parachute and never showed, or reasons why the plane never takes off. On My side of the screen, I don't care about all of the moaning. I want to gear up and hit the sky. I want to engage with others about how good it can be. Heck, I don't even care if it's different kinds of planes or there are different kinds of parachutes out there, or any of the other ways it's different. BDSM is still fun for Me. If it wasn't, I wouldn't be here wanting to talk about it. Otherwise, I'd be off in some quilting circle or something else that I think would bore Me to tears. Glad to hear that you returned safe. My best to beth.

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