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Getting Stood Up - 1/1/2010 8:41:17 PM   
QuirkyAnne


Posts: 268
Joined: 9/17/2008
Status: offline 		So I've been stood up a couple of times when it came to meeting someone from the internet in real life.  I'm supposed to be meeting a Dom tomorrow and until a little bit ago, there were some red flags that indicated that I might have been once again.  While that's been resolved (at least I hope so) I got to thinking about posts I've read where others have mentioned it.  I found a couple of threads dealing with this topic but they were rather old and since there are new users on the boards I was hoping that some who've have to go through this awkward and disappointing experience would be willing to share some of their stories?

Anne
Profile   Post #: 1
RE: Getting Stood Up - 1/1/2010 8:48:23 PM   
MasterVlad1969


Posts: 4
Joined: 1/25/2008
Status: offline 		that makes no sense to me.you spend time getting to know someone,agree on likes and dislikes.relationships are hard enough without involving the lifestyle,if you didn't want to meet then say so up i'm sure there was enough time to explain any issues.they are probably just online players and are married or something.please don't waste everyone's time with that.if your not going to be serious don't set up a meeting .

(in reply to QuirkyAnne)
Profile   Post #: 2
RE: Getting Stood Up - 1/1/2010 8:48:39 PM   
ForeverOwned


Posts: 269
Joined: 2/5/2008
Status: offline 		i am so sorry that happened to you. It has happened to a friend of mine among other things and when i thought about it i realized that she was meeting these men to early in the online relationship, ignoring red flags, etc. These men were never for her, but she couldn't see it. She is a wonderful person and i am sure you are too. Good luck in all that you do.

< Message edited by ForeverOwned -- 1/1/2010 8:50:12 PM >

(in reply to QuirkyAnne)
Profile   Post #: 3
RE: Getting Stood Up - 1/1/2010 8:51:22 PM   
sexyred1


Posts: 8998
Joined: 8/9/2007
Status: offline 		I never got stood up, but with some meetings, I wish I did, LOL

(in reply to ForeverOwned)
Profile   Post #: 4
RE: Getting Stood Up - 1/1/2010 8:51:59 PM   
marie2


Posts: 1690
Joined: 11/4/2008
From: Jersey
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: QuirkyAnne

So I've been stood up a couple of times when it came to meeting someone from the internet in real life.  I'm supposed to be meeting a Dom tomorrow and until a little bit ago, there were some red flags that indicated that I might have been once again.  While that's been resolved (at least I hope so) I got to thinking about posts I've read where others have mentioned it.  I found a couple of threads dealing with this topic but they were rather old and since there are new users on the boards I was hoping that some who've have to go through this awkward and disappointing experience would be willing to share some of their stories?

Anne



I was stood up once ,and  yes, it totally sucked.  I dont know what the solution is except to just go with your gut and accept the risk that it might happen.

I've heard some people say that they set up a first  meet at a munch, so if he stands you up, at least you're still  out for the night socializing and you didn't waste time getting prettied up for nothing.

(in reply to QuirkyAnne)
Profile   Post #: 5
RE: Getting Stood Up - 1/1/2010 8:54:11 PM   
MasterVlad1969


Posts: 4
Joined: 1/25/2008
Status: offline 		meeting at a much,now thats a good idea!

(in reply to marie2)
Profile   Post #: 6
RE: Getting Stood Up - 1/1/2010 8:55:02 PM   
sunshinemiss


Posts: 17673
Joined: 11/26/2007
Status: offline 		Hi Anne,
I would make a suggestion as far as this goes.  Why not meet at a group event?  Maybe a munch or even a museum or a jazz show?  It would be some place you would be going anyway or some place you could enjoy alone, so another person is just icing on the cake that you already love!

Good luck
sunshine


_____________________________

Yes, I am a wonton hussy... and still sweet as 3.14

(in reply to sexyred1)
Profile   Post #: 7
RE: Getting Stood Up - 1/1/2010 8:55:40 PM   
DrkJourney


Posts: 1917
Joined: 5/6/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: sexyred1

I never got stood up, but with some meetings, I wish I did, LOL


exactly what I was going to write....LOL

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...Look into my eyes and I'll own you....



(in reply to sexyred1)
Profile   Post #: 8
RE: Getting Stood Up - 1/1/2010 8:56:05 PM   
littlewonder


Posts: 15659
Status: offline 		I've never been stood up but if I was ever to be stood up I would just shrug it off, figure they were incompatible to begin with then, enjoy my coffee and figure at least I had a good cup of coffee and move on.

Not a big deal in my book.

(in reply to MasterVlad1969)
Profile   Post #: 9
RE: Getting Stood Up - 1/1/2010 9:08:23 PM   
CalifChick


Posts: 10717
Joined: 10/28/2007
From: California
Status: offline 		LadyHib and I were almost, sorta, not quite stood up.  LOL.  It was the day we were arriving in Florida for my birthday (and I really do know better than to make plans on travel day, I'm always too tired), and someone was supposed to come and meet us, but we didn't have a specific time nailed down.  To give him the benefit of the doubt, he may have thought we were not serious because we didn't name a specific time (although I told him several times what time our flight was landing); we thought he was not serious because we tried several times to get in touch with him (and phone went to voicemail and IM went unanswered), and since he was driving up from Miami, he should have left to start driving before our plane arrived or at the latest, when we arrived.

I can't remember when we finally made contact, but it was long past the window of opportunity.

Cali



_____________________________

AKA "The Undisputed Goddess of Sarcasm", "Big Bad Cali" and "Yum Bum". Advisor to the Subbie Mafia, founding member of the W.A.C. and the Judgmental Bitches Brigade, member of the Clan of the Scarlet O'Hair-a's and Team Troll

(in reply to littlewonder)
Profile   Post #: 10
RE: Getting Stood Up - 1/1/2010 9:24:37 PM   
SomethingCatchy


Posts: 796
Joined: 7/29/2008
Status: offline 		I've been stood up multiple times, even by people I just wanted to meet as friends who weren't even aware of my personal life. People flake out, people change their minds, people get afraid, people don't have the balls to say 'oh never mind'. Lots of reasons, and occasionally it annoys me, but then I completely forget about it *ooo a butterfly*

_____________________________

I believe in Invisible Pink Unicorns

Everyone is gay for Joseph Gordon-Levitt.

Knowledge is power. Power corrupts. Study hard. Be evil.

(in reply to CalifChick)
Profile   Post #: 11
RE: Getting Stood Up - 1/1/2010 9:26:02 PM   
hopelessfool


Posts: 988
Joined: 7/29/2005
Status: offline 		I always take a book, at least this way i can pretend i didnt have a date...

_____________________________

" I have nothing left to give, I have found the perfect end, You remain to make it hurt, disappear in to the dirt, carry me to heavens arms.....Dear Agony Just let go of me, suffer slowly, is this the way its gotta be, Dear Agony...."

(in reply to SomethingCatchy)
Profile   Post #: 12
RE: Getting Stood Up - 1/1/2010 9:39:16 PM   
antipode


Posts: 1787
Joined: 4/19/2004
Status: offline
quote:

there were some red flags


I have never been stood up, but the very second I see / hear / notice red flags I am soo ---------> gone. Maybe I spent too many career years in NY, I want things now, tomorrow morning is a stretch, I have no time for that s**t.

(in reply to QuirkyAnne)
Profile   Post #: 13
RE: Getting Stood Up - 1/1/2010 9:40:55 PM   
sexyred1


Posts: 8998
Joined: 8/9/2007
Status: offline 		Yeah, it really sucks when you have had a great conversation on the phone and then when you meet, the person cannot put a sentence together or they are not anything like their description or how they portrayed themselves. I swear, some people have ghostwriters for their profiles.

And of course, the lack of chemistry is not fun.

My new philosophy about dates is have NO expectation vs. LOW expectations. This way, whatever happens is cool.



< Message edited by sexyred1 -- 1/1/2010 9:42:01 PM >

(in reply to Psychonaut23)
Profile   Post #: 14
RE: Getting Stood Up - 1/1/2010 9:41:20 PM   
chellekitty


Posts: 3923
Joined: 3/27/2005
Status: offline 		fr...

this is a funny post to have popped up since i came home tonight...not ha-ha funny but sad funny...i was stood up tonight by a Dom i met here on CM...luckily i wasn't alone, i went with a couple i know in the lifestyle - really good friends that are protective of me - as a safety precaution, so i wasn't sitting by myself...i called him a couple of times before i left (like 30 minutes apart) and the second time it went to voice mail early, so i got the message...

no big deal, i got to have a snack with my friends and talk to them...but it would have been nice to know a little earlier, i could have left a before i did and hit an NA meeting...oh well...

_____________________________

One thing I know: the only ones among you who will be really happy are those who will have sought and found how to serve. ~Albert Schweitzer

(in reply to hopelessfool)
Profile   Post #: 15
RE: Getting Stood Up - 1/1/2010 9:53:42 PM   
hopelessfool


Posts: 988
Joined: 7/29/2005
Status: offline 		just saying I had resident sadist edit and soften most of my profile...

Im not really as smart as i sound in there... yup yup...

Anywho sorry you got stood up, the last time I was stood up, It wasnt that bad an adventure, I ended up in a book store that i wouldnt have gone to (it was in DE im in pa) and found a book id been eyeing on amazon for 50 percent off ^_^


_____________________________

" I have nothing left to give, I have found the perfect end, You remain to make it hurt, disappear in to the dirt, carry me to heavens arms.....Dear Agony Just let go of me, suffer slowly, is this the way its gotta be, Dear Agony...."

(in reply to chellekitty)
Profile   Post #: 16
RE: Getting Stood Up - 1/1/2010 10:11:36 PM   
lizi


Posts: 4673
Joined: 2/1/2009
Status: offline 		Yeah, I got stood up once. It stunk. In retrospect there were red flags there that I should have paid more attention to.
It was New Year's Eve 3 years ago. Argh, I got all dressed up and everything and just felt like such a fool when it didn't happen. Oh well....

(in reply to QuirkyAnne)
Profile   Post #: 17
RE: Getting Stood Up - 1/1/2010 11:03:32 PM   
Missokyst


Posts: 6041
Joined: 9/9/2006
Status: offline 		I have been stood up once.  But it was ok, he seemed like he was too nervous about the possibility of meeting someone who actually did this stuff.  I am fairly certain he thought I would have a huge K on my forhead, and would be wearing goodness knows what.  I had arranged to meet at one of my favorite Malls in Sacramento.  I had lunch in the food court, gave him 30 mins to show and then went shopping.
It was a good day of shopping.

(in reply to lizi)
Profile   Post #: 18
RE: Getting Stood Up - 1/2/2010 12:42:41 AM   
WinsomeDefiance


Posts: 6719
Joined: 8/7/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: QuirkyAnne

... I'm supposed to be meeting a Dom tomorrow and until a little bit ago, there were some red flags that indicated that I might have been once again.  Anne



I've never been stood up, but I'd be interested in hearing how your meeting goes.  Best of wishes!
WinD

(in reply to QuirkyAnne)
Profile   Post #: 19
RE: Getting Stood Up - 1/2/2010 1:02:39 AM   
PrincessDonna


Posts: 189
Joined: 7/7/2006
Status: offline 		I do not spend a whole lot of time talking on-line once we have made it clear that I am Domme and they are sub and looking to serve the next step is the face to face,I arrange meetings close to where i'll be at atthe appointed time and always meet in public,coffee shop,fast food place whatever,so I,m never really going out of my way or more then that bringing strangers into my den.Good luck

(in reply to WinsomeDefiance)
Profile   Post #: 20
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