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Question - 12/24/2009 9:29:12 AM   
pridedenied


Posts: 83
Joined: 9/28/2008
Status: offline 		I like a pre-op transgirl. It's not a fetish. I just like her for who she is. She has had her heart broken and also has a lot of issues with her sexuality. I don't want to scare her away but at the same time I really want to be closer to her. How would you go about helping this to happen?

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RE: Question - 12/24/2009 9:30:43 AM   
kiwisub12


Posts: 4742
Joined: 1/11/2006
Status: offline 		Ask her to lunch. She will either say yes or no.

(in reply to pridedenied)
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RE: Question - 12/24/2009 9:34:25 AM   
LafayetteLady


Posts: 7683
Joined: 5/2/2007
From: Northern New Jersey
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: pridedenied

I like a pre-op transgirl. It's not a fetish. I just like her for who she is. She has had her heart broken and also has a lot of issues with her sexuality. I don't want to scare her away but at the same time I really want to be closer to her. How would you go about helping this to happen?


So this is someone who is currently on the road to the surgery to become a female, right? You "like" her in a romantic way? You don't say whether she likes males or females, which kind of makes a difference don't ya think? I would say at this point, just be her friend. This is not the time that she needs anyone having "expectations" from her, but a time when she just needs to move along at her own pace. I'm sure though that having a friend who is just there for her will help.

(in reply to pridedenied)
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RE: Question - 12/24/2009 9:34:43 AM   
LadyPact


Posts: 32566
Status: offline 		So, you're basically asking us how to date?  Why would this person be any different than any other person who would interest you?

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RE: Question - 12/24/2009 9:47:32 AM   
pridedenied


Posts: 83
Joined: 9/28/2008
Status: offline 		i suppose in a way i am just asking how to date. She is a little more complicated than the average person though.

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I caught hell for.

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RE: Question - 12/24/2009 10:10:03 AM   
LadyAngelika


Posts: 8070
Joined: 7/4/2004
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: pridedenied

i suppose in a way i am just asking how to date. She is a little more complicated than the average person though.


The fact that you view her that way might be a huge part of the problem.

- LA

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Une main de fer dans un gant de velours ~ An iron hand in a velvet glove

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RE: Question - 12/24/2009 10:17:55 AM   
Jeffff


Posts: 12600
Joined: 7/7/2007
Status: offline 		How is it more difficult?


"How about dinner friday?"


Jeff

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RE: Question - 12/24/2009 11:22:51 AM   
Justme696


Posts: 3236
Joined: 1/7/2008
From: Royal kingdom of the Netherlands
Status: offline
quote:

She is a little more complicated than the average person though.


don't tell her that..else the date will be short.

(in reply to Jeffff)
Profile   Post #: 8
RE: Question - 12/24/2009 11:51:19 AM   
SirJohnMandevill


Posts: 546
Joined: 11/10/2005
Status: offline 		I knew someone in her exact situation 10 years ago. I can only echo what LadyPact said: Treat her as you would anyone else you might be interested in.

Play shouldn't be any different from any other woman. If your relationship includes sex, obviously you'll have to work around certain things.

(Purveyor of Fine, Handcrafted Kink)

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Iam an eroticist
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RE: Question - 12/24/2009 12:44:26 PM   
DesFIP


Posts: 25191
Joined: 11/25/2007
From: Apple County NY
Status: offline 		"Jane, I don't know if you've noticed, but I'm very interested in you. Can I ask if you have any feelings towards me?"


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RE: Question - 12/24/2009 5:02:36 PM   
CougarStud


Posts: 105
Joined: 7/24/2009
Status: offline 		I have a friend who is pre-op ftm, well actually she/he had her boobs removed.  So she/he starts asking me about dating women and I say "I thought you liked men" and he replies"I did, but now I am a guy, maybe I should date girls.

I told him, that maybe he sould just be gay.

It can be very confusing during the transition.  First and foremost, respect the gender she calls herself.  Keep it friendly till you knowwhat her sexual/romantic interests are.

(in reply to DesFIP)
Profile   Post #: 11
RE: Question - 12/24/2009 5:43:10 PM   
DarkSteven


Posts: 28072
Joined: 5/2/2008
Status: offline 		Spend time with her.  Get to know her.  The physical stuff will either happen, or else it won't.

If it's the person I think it is, then the two of you are both submissive.  How's that going to work?

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"You women....

The small-breasted ones want larger breasts. The large-breasted ones want smaller ones. The straight-haired ones curl their hair, and the curly-haired ones straighten theirs...

Quit fretting. We men love you."

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Profile   Post #: 12
RE: Question - 12/24/2009 8:58:49 PM   
antipode


Posts: 1787
Joined: 4/19/2004
Status: offline
quote:

It's not a fetish. I just like her for who she is.


There isn't a rulebook for transgenders. (S)he is just another unique human being. It isn't unusual for transgender people to be in the same relationship before and after, so you're covered there as well. I am just puzzled by your question: "How would we go about helping this to happen". Why would you need help? Why would you scare her away? Have you expressed yourself to this person? Assuming you have dated before, why would this be different?

(in reply to pridedenied)
Profile   Post #: 13
RE: Question - 12/24/2009 9:16:08 PM   
AlexCutwright


Posts: 35
Joined: 7/10/2008
From: Gulfport, Mississippi, United States
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: DesFIP

"Jane, I don't know if you've noticed, but I'm very interested in you. Can I ask if you have any feelings towards me?"



Though I'm young and probably one of the least qualified to answer you, I have to say that I agree in entirety with DesFIP here. Coming forward with your interest and being gentle with it's presentation is probably the best thing you can do, especially when you're unsure of what's fair and/or kosher in this situation. Just being honest and asking where they stand on the issue seems best, and if something can or will happen, then all you can do is wait and make the best of what comes.

(in reply to DesFIP)
Profile   Post #: 14
RE: Question - 12/24/2009 9:26:17 PM   
TemptingNviceSub


Posts: 3054
Joined: 10/1/2005
Status: offline 		Being a good friend is an excellent start..positive exhange of thoughts and ideas..see where that leads first..then if and when time is right you explore other avenues of possibilities...Tempting

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I have greatly enjoyed the second blooming...suddenly you find at the age of 50, that a whole new life has opened before you.........Agatha Christie.

You must make tracks into the unknown~~Thoreau

(in reply to pridedenied)
Profile   Post #: 15
RE: Question - 12/25/2009 12:20:07 AM   
fadedshadow


Posts: 751
Joined: 4/27/2009
From: a place
Status: offline 		be a nice person to this person, then maybe the person will be happy =]

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your living nightmare

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Profile   Post #: 16
RE: Question - 12/25/2009 12:51:08 AM   
HumiliatedOinker


Posts: 8
Joined: 12/23/2009
Status: offline 		Being the person is scared of getting hurt, show the person that you would be there, see how the indivisual reacts. I also agree with those who have said to go along with how you would normally show someone your interested in them.

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"The Pure Degradation of a Pig is allowing those she serve to see her fully along with opening her heart and soul up to those who may care enough to look."

(in reply to fadedshadow)
Profile   Post #: 17
RE: Question - 12/25/2009 9:32:17 AM   
antipode


Posts: 1787
Joined: 4/19/2004
Status: offline
quote:

She is a little more complicated than the average person though.


Relationship 101: there is no such thing as an "average person".

(in reply to pridedenied)
Profile   Post #: 18
RE: Question - 12/25/2009 9:42:18 AM   
osf


Posts: 3288
Joined: 10/19/2009
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: antipode

quote:

She is a little more complicated than the average person though.


Relationship 101: there is no such thing as an "average person".



is too

i'm the only average person in the world

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all around nice guy and creative misogynist

i'm not very skilled so i just hit harder

i want a woman to make into the woman she never wanted to become

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Profile   Post #: 19
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