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RE: ProDomme vs FinDomme - 12/18/2009 1:47:26 PM   
vincentML


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quote:

ORIGINAL: MissAsylum

for me, a PD is a Dom/Domme that is paid for their company/service of a BDSM nature.

i am a ProDomme, but i also am a lifestyle Domme. I have personal subs that do not pay me.

as far as recieving payment is concerned, why WOULDN'T i want to get paid for something that i love to do anyway?

double whammy for me. lol

with my expirence with some, not all, FinDommes i that they tend to have the oh-so sophisticated attitude of "fuck you, pay me", which i really can't stand.

the sub is a PERSON- not an ATM.

i make it a point to develop a relationship with all of my subs. relationships go two-ways. I don't do the whole, "give me everything of monetary value that you have and go away until i want more".

doesn't appeal to me personally.


But obviously it appeals to the fetish of the subs.

Vincent

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vML

Our lives begin to end the day we become silent about things that matter. ~ MLK Jr.

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RE: ProDomme vs FinDomme - 12/18/2009 1:50:34 PM   
MissAsylum


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i'd say you'd bec correct.

its just attitude thing with me.

it just isn't classy.

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RE: ProDomme vs FinDomme - 12/18/2009 2:19:40 PM   
liks2plzlf


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I certainly hope there are alot more findommes, than there are finsubs. Would it not be better to go to the mall, select a young, gorgeous, woman, and give her the money? At least you would know what she looked like and might fantasize about. You might be sending your money to a man for all one knows Comes under "a fool and his money are soon parted" to me

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RE: ProDomme vs FinDomme - 12/18/2009 2:27:00 PM   
LadyPact


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Personal opinion:

My distinction between a pro domme and a findomme (short for financial domme) is one very specific point.  A pro is a professional who engages with a client for a certain rate for X amount of time for a scene.  A financial or money domme has money as an element within a BDSM dynamic.  That's just the basic.  There can be some lines crossed between the two, such as pro dommes who spend unpaid time with their clients.

What do I think of them?  I would hate to assign My opinion to an entire category of people.  However, in the pro arena, if someone can't at least match My topping skills when I'm *just* a lifestyle Domme, I'm going to think just as much or as little of them as I would of any other top, regardless if they are getting paid or not.  The same goes for experience with WIITWD in any other area of life.


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RE: ProDomme vs FinDomme - 12/18/2009 2:32:14 PM   
lobodomslavery


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i hope not. People who focus on money to the exclusion of everything are so vacuous and shallow to me
Kevin

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RE: ProDomme vs FinDomme - 12/18/2009 2:33:18 PM   
lally2


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ages ago i watched a docu on tv about prostitutes whod got tired of turning the usual tricks and had discovered a whole group of people who wanted to be humiliated/used as furniture/ etcetera etcetera with no need to sell their fanny or break into any sort of sweat. it was easy money for them. they were no more Domme than me and they charged heftily for it because they knew their punters had few options available to them.

the thing is that in one way that feels soulless but in another way the pro has simply diversified and is providing a service and the punter is getting what they need.

_____________________________

So all I have to do in order to serve him, is to work out exactly how improbable he is, feed that figure into the finite improbability generator, give him a fresh cup of really hot tea ... and turn him on!

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RE: ProDomme vs FinDomme - 12/18/2009 2:36:35 PM   
lobodomslavery


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And being ripped off. But the punter is in control. More power to the Woman who can do this . More fool the man who falls for this fraud
Kevin

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RE: ProDomme vs FinDomme - 12/18/2009 3:20:55 PM   
vincentML


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quote:

ORIGINAL: lobodomslavery

And being ripped off. But the punter is in control. More power to the Woman who can do this . More fool the man who falls for this fraud
Kevin



Is it a fraud if he gets satisfaction in return?

Vincent

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vML

Our lives begin to end the day we become silent about things that matter. ~ MLK Jr.

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RE: ProDomme vs FinDomme - 12/19/2009 6:03:35 AM   
lobodomslavery


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Like i say the punter is in control. it s only a fraud if he thinks it s a fraud. im just giving you my two cent i respect others decisions to do different. its a free country
Kevin

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RE: ProDomme vs FinDomme - 12/19/2009 6:26:06 AM   
vincentML


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It is improper in our "community" to judge other people's kinks imo. I do not understand furries as a kink, and I dislike the images of crossdressing men however ernest they may be, but I do not call them out for it. I remember early on attending a group meeting of fetishists and one fellow confessed his desire for "Roman Showers" i.e. vomit. Whoa, thought I! But no one in the group remonstrated against it. I do recall the fellow looking a bit anguished about his need. How does something like that come about, I wonder? But, I would not wish others to condemn the behaviors I enjoy, or call me a fool for them. So, to each kinkster his/her own pleasure.

The money slave is no fool if he is sincere and gets off on it. Let him have his little piece of erotic delight, although it is possibly a dangerous game he plays. A different form of edge play, I think.


Vincent

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vML

Our lives begin to end the day we become silent about things that matter. ~ MLK Jr.

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RE: ProDomme vs FinDomme - 12/19/2009 6:32:37 AM   
RedMagic1


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quote:

ORIGINAL: MissAsylum
as far as recieving payment is concerned, why WOULDN'T i want to get paid for something that i love to do anyway?

I've dated two women who were prodommes, and I've known several more as friends, both online and in real.  The burnout rate in that job is high.  I doubt any formal study has been done, but between what I've seen personally, and the stories I've heard, my guess is that 99% of prodommes leave the field within 18 months.  Also, even among those who continue, almost nobody uses it as a primary source of income. There are threads here discussing this, but it gets down to what a great cook I know said one time when someone asked him why he didn't open a restaurant: "I'd have to cook even when I didn't enjoy it."


quote:

ORIGINAL: MissAsylum
with my expirence with some, not all, FinDommes i that they tend to have the oh-so sophisticated attitude of "fuck you, pay me", which i really can't stand.

Yes.  You may enjoy this post by a friend of mine about a different approach to it.  (The entire thread, especially her posts on it, are worth reading).

http://www.collarchat.com/fb.asp?m=2650679


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Not with envy, not with a twisted heart, shall you feel superior, or go about boasting. Rather in goodness by action make true your song and your word. Thus you shall be highly regarded, and able to live in peace with all others.
- 15th century Aztec

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RE: ProDomme vs FinDomme - 12/19/2009 7:55:04 AM   
vincentML


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quote:

ORIGINAL: RedMagic1

Yes.  You may enjoy this post by a friend of mine about a different approach to it.  (The entire thread, especially her posts on it, are worth reading).

http://www.collarchat.com/fb.asp?m=2650679



A very interesting thread you suggested Red. Thank you. Too bad it turned into a cat fight. Got a little bored with that.


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vML

Our lives begin to end the day we become silent about things that matter. ~ MLK Jr.

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RE: ProDomme vs FinDomme - 12/19/2009 11:17:49 AM   
subrob23


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Thankyou vincentML it makes a bit more sense to me if it isn't solely about handing over money, but has elements of blackmail and control in it to. Although I wouldn't want to go down such a risky path myself I can see the appeal of being blackmailed and humilated and of having worse things happen if I didn't pay up.

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RE: ProDomme vs FinDomme - 12/19/2009 1:43:24 PM   
vincentML


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Joined: 10/31/2009
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quote:

ORIGINAL: subrob23

Thankyou vincentML it makes a bit more sense to me if it isn't solely about handing over money, but has elements of blackmail and control in it to. Although I wouldn't want to go down such a risky path myself I can see the appeal of being blackmailed and humilated and of having worse things happen if I didn't pay up.


I agree with your point, Rob. It makes no sense to me either. I see a lot of it on CM and on NiteFlirt, a lot of "I am a Princess and you are just a lowly pig so it is your duty to spoil me with cash and gifts." I suppose the sub has hopes for a relationship. But maybe not. I have a dinner companion who is a prodomme. She tells me of a guy who wanted his wallet "raped." He opened it to her. Laid it at her feet. She felt a bit guilty as he pushed her further into the scenario. Finally, she insisted that he decide on a cap. He was such a pushy pain in the ass and aggravated her so that she took everything from his wallet although he pleaded for gas money to get home. So, it was a self-destructive game for him to be in the clutches of a merciless woman. I will bet however he had a second wallet out in his car.

As for the blackmail that is too edgy. Can you imagine living with the threat of having your secret life exposed to your boss or best friend or whoever is important to you and is unaware of your kink? That could be devastating. And addicting. I messaged once with a young girl who had a boy working a second job just to make her happy, and himself as well. Go figure.

Be well, Rob.







_____________________________

vML

Our lives begin to end the day we become silent about things that matter. ~ MLK Jr.

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RE: ProDomme vs FinDomme - 12/21/2009 3:36:06 AM   
Acer49


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Joined: 8/7/2009
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quote:

ORIGINAL: MissAsylum

as i'm sure many of you noticed, there is a huge and almost alarming number of female(and males on occasion) dominants popping up.

most often, they call themselves FinDommes, money mistress, etc.
this tends to often be linked and grouped up with ProDommes.

whats your opinion on this?

do you think there is a diffence between prodommes and fin dommes?

keep in mind what runs tread is about and post your thoughts!


Q1 If money is to be exchanged, then they need to be upfront and say so, otherwise there will be problems
Q2 Yes, A pro is someone who is dependant on this as their livelyhood, everyone else it is just a preference. Whether or not it is deserved would be determined on a case by case basis


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Never be bullied into silence. Never allow yourself to be made a victim. Accept no one's definition of your life; define yourself.
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RE: ProDomme vs FinDomme - 12/25/2009 11:11:40 AM   
MistressTonya2u


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I am not a prodomme or a findomme.
However, I had one experience where a sub (whom I never meet, but did email and speak with on the phone) did give Me a gift of a large amount of cash.
He talked on and on about how being a money slave was all he ever wanted to be and thinking of giving away all his money was the only thing that got him off.
I never talked with him again.He was very off and on with what he wanted and constantly lied and played games. It just was way too much trouble.
And he did tell me that I was not the first woman he gave money too.
Maybe the blackmail idea was part of it, as far as what excited him, he did email me photos of himself from work, he would have immediately been fired, if I had ever turned over the photos due to the nature of his job, but that was before the money was given to Me, and the photos were his idea.


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