Mercnbeth
Posts: 11766
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quote:
ORIGINAL: PhantomOpera Is punishment important for the submissive, should it be mental or physical ? No AVOIDING punishment should be important for any submissive under my service; but appreciating there are other dynamics and not knowing any more than the one sentence provided, I'll give it a shot. What it is, how much, when, by whom, and other conditions for "punishment" should be determined by the Dominant partner - whichever one that is - directed to the desired goal. Punishment avoidance, correcting relationship issues, having a very different goal than a dynamic that uses "punishment" as a scene setter for play. There are an infinite variety of 'no-win' scenarios to set up "punishment" scenes. I also know of many couple who use a 'weekly tally' of demerits to set up weekend sessions. Whatever works for your mutual satisfaction should be the guide. Mental, physical, a touch of both; the possibilities are endless. The other end of the spectrum is a scenario where the people involved view the need for punishment as a failure in the relationship. That's were the avoidance perspective comes into play. Focusing on that end of the spectrum, my opinion is that the mental and emotional aspects should take priority. Not as a form of punishment, but as a goal to get the submissive's 'mind right' to avoid a repeat. Sometimes it's the Dominant's mind needing to 'get right' when the case is of unrealistic expectation or setting up the submissive to fail - and not in a 'good' way. Get the mental and emotional 'correction' right and the physical punishment can employ a feather instead of a cane and produce as many tears. Hopefully those tears are cathartic and also mark the end of the problem. Have FUN! Good Luck!
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