RE: ditch the bitch. (Full Version)

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sunshinemiss -> RE: ditch the bitch. (11/25/2009 6:12:23 AM)

BSB - Yes you are! 
Aakasha - very nicely stated. 





Elisabella -> RE: ditch the bitch. (11/25/2009 6:22:06 AM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: jonnyringpiece

would like to revisit a point made earlier, re: service orientated subs.
can i ask why such types don't find a more deserving cause for service, if that be their motive? 
(like the church volunteer group for example, or local homeless shelter)


The chivalric ideal of serving a beautiful woman is different from the concept of charity work.

To the quintessential knight, serving his lady gives him at least as much pleasure as it gives her.


quote:

why do these men, always find themselves in the service of someone of the desired opposite sex who just happens to have a penchant for bdsm??


Because she's beautiful, charming, passionate...because she's a woman?

*laughs*

I think you're missing the key element here which is that the people who do it, do it because they enjoy it. They're getting something out of it. I don't understand a lot of things people do in relationships - it would turn me off at least, possibly disgust me. But I do understand enough to know that to them, it's gratifying. Not disgusting.

quote:


why is a bossy female deserving of "service" in the minds of these men?
please, i'd really like to know!


With this, you could read a thousand answers and still not know.

The question is why do you care?
quote:


it beggars my belief to think there is no sexual gratification obtained in such cases, however subliminally it may manifest.



I would imagine that it gives different men different types of gratification. Everything from sexual to romantic to an ego boost. Different people do things for different reasons, the point is they have one.




BossyShoeBitch -> RE: ditch the bitch. (11/25/2009 7:25:13 AM)

Thanks Sunshine! I mean, he was using my name and all. [:D]




GreedyTop -> RE: ditch the bitch. (11/25/2009 7:39:53 AM)

yep yep.. BSB is WAY hawt!!




stiv2009 -> RE: ditch the bitch. (11/25/2009 7:43:43 AM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: Elisabella


quote:

ORIGINAL: jonnyringpiece

would like to revisit a point made earlier, re: service orientated subs.
can i ask why such types don't find a more deserving cause for service, if that be their motive? 
(like the church volunteer group for example, or local homeless shelter)


The chivalric ideal of serving a beautiful woman is different from the concept of charity work.


But isn't the lack of specificity the problem here. service orientated subs often present themselves as being generically predisposed to menial labor. Not to a specific, loved, woman, but to virtually any female 20-45 <70kg. In more extreme forms it is not just the service but the tasks themselves which provide stimulus.

quote:

To the quintessential knight, serving his lady gives him at least as much pleasure as it gives her.


Exactly - his lady. My question is: what is the value of the statement I love to serve in the absence of a who? Surely there are people who we would do virtually anything for, some whom we would grudgingly extend a hand of assistance, and some for whom we would not lift a finger.


quote:

quote:

why do these men, always find themselves in the service of someone of the desired opposite sex who just happens to have a penchant for bdsm??


Because she's beautiful, charming, passionate...because she's a woman?

*laughs*

I think you're missing the key element here which is that the people who do it, do it because they enjoy it.


My question is: are they being truthful? Or is it just advertising?

quote:

They're getting something out of it


Or at least they are representing themselves as getting something out of it. But this may not be the case. It might be self-delusion or plain insincerity.

quote:

I don't understand a lot of things people do in relationships - it would turn me off at least, possibly disgust me. But I do understand enough to know that to them, it's gratifying. Not disgusting.

quote:


why is a bossy female deserving of "service" in the minds of these men?
please, i'd really like to know!


With this, you could read a thousand answers and still not know.

The question is why do you care?
quote:


it beggars my belief to think there is no sexual gratification obtained in such cases, however subliminally it may manifest.



I would imagine that it gives different men different types of gratification. Everything from sexual to romantic to an ego boost. Different people do things for different reasons, the point is they have one.


Or could it be that in the context of FemDom, male submission can become a grim dutch-auction of self-abasement - where each tries to show how low they can go - making claims as to their level of service-orientation which is completely unverifiable, and which when proposed as a generic feature (and in the absence of any concrete relationship with a specific other) is totally meaningless.

People obviously do get pleasure out of serving a loved other (or a loved God) - but going around saying I am sincerely service oriented unlike others is just a massive exercise in self-delusion, hubris and cheese.

Steve




SimplyMichael -> RE: ditch the bitch. (11/25/2009 8:16:54 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: jonnyringpiece

ron : masturbation is preferable to being with an annoying bitch.


How very true.




Rochsub2009 -> RE: ditch the bitch. (11/25/2009 9:26:52 AM)

Jonnyringpiece,
There is a flaw in the very premise of your question.  You are seeking to know the unknowable.  Even if you get a few responses (which judging by the hostile nature of most of your replies, you don't REALLY want), they will not be meaningful.

Your question focuses on human psychology.  Why does anyone do anything?  Why do some people enjoy CBT while others don't?  Why do some people enjoy humiliation while others don't?  Why do some people enjoy scat while others don't?  Why do some people enjoy vanilla relationships while many BDSMers don't?  If you ask 1,000 people, you will get 1,000 different answers.

You chose "genuine submission" as your behavior of choice.  But you could have just as easily inserted any other human behavior, and the question would have been just as unanswerable. 

Psychology is not a true science.  Results can't be reproduced over and over in a laboratory.  You don't get the same answer every time like you do in chemistry, or mathematics, or physics.

That's why i usually don't even participate in the frequent discussions about the validity of submission.  The conversation itself is illogical.  So many people on here blatantly discount certain behaviors based on their own experience.  But the reality is that if i can find 1 person among the 6.8 billion people currently residing on Earth who falls outside of their stated belief, then i have disproven their entire premise.

So why try to understand a mindset and behavior pattern that clearly is not your own?  Moreover, why do you care?  Frankly, i don't think that you do care.  i think you are simply here to argue.  But i could be wrong.

That being the case, if you still want random responses to your unanswerable query, then my answer is.............pi.

In summary:  Answer = 3.1415926.......




GreedyTop -> RE: ditch the bitch. (11/25/2009 10:11:13 AM)

no no..the answer is 42




LadyPact -> RE: ditch the bitch. (11/25/2009 10:12:21 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: jonnyringpiece

would like to revisit a point made earlier, re: service orientated subs.
can i ask why such types don't find a more deserving cause for service, if that be their motive? 
(like the church volunteer group for example, or local homeless shelter)
why do these men, always find themselves in the service of someone of the desired opposite sex who just happens to have a penchant for bdsm??
why is a bossy female deserving of "service" in the minds of these men?
please, i'd really like to know!
it beggars my belief to think there is no sexual gratification obtained in such cases, however subliminally it may manifest.



My question back to you is, how do you know they don't?

You wouldn't think that My boy became service oriented just because I came along, would you?   That would be one heck of a trick if I could pull it off.  If it was something I was capable of, I'd be spending My time teaching other women across the country exactly how to perform such a metamorphosis in a male and there would be a lot more happy couples out there.

Truthfully, clip had a long history of wanting to do things for other people long before I showed up.  I could bore you to tears with enough stories about him being helpful to friends, neighbors, and family.  Even people he'd never met before in his life before he happened along.  I can promise you that he is the type who will be the only person in that pouring down rainstorm to pull over and help an elderly lady change a tire.  It's not an exaggeration.  It's who he is.

The drive to do things for others has been with clip in his entire adult life, I believe.  It's why he chose his career and his profession within that.  Currently, he's a medic deployed to Afghanistan who would be in nursing if he were in the States.  In the past, he's also been a Chaplin's Assistant.  That's over and above the things he's done for charity in his lifetime.

So why did he end up in service to Me?  Well, not only is he very service oriented, but he's also a masochist.  On the other side of it, some people will tell you that I'm a pretty good top.  Some folks around here can even tell you that first hand.  The more someone enjoys their masochism, they are going to pursue someone who is sadistic on about the same level.  Whether you want to consider that sexual gratification or not, you can formulate in your own head.  All I can tell you is that when I first got him, one of his hard limits was physical sex.  That didn't change until he was actually collared to Me.  If you wanted to put it in some form of vanilla context, it would have been like dating someone for several months without any physical sexual interactions.  It was a much longer period of time than most people would have been seeing each other without sex coming in the picture.

Why do I deserve him?  Honestly, I don't know.  I happen to think he's a kinder human being than I am in a number of ways.  I know he certainly has a higher tolerance level for a lot of things than I do, especially when it comes to other people at times.  All I know is he thinks I do and in this case, I'll accept his judgment.




Rochsub2009 -> RE: ditch the bitch. (11/25/2009 10:53:13 AM)

LadyPact,
i think that i am cut from the same cloth as Your Clip.

i have always been one who would do anything possible to help others.  i see nothing strange about committing acts of kindness to total strangers.  To me, that is the way everyone should be.  The rest of the world is weird, not me.

Back when i was still primarily vanilla, i was always known for being the "perfect boyfriend".  i was extremely attentive and doting towards my girlfriends.  i waited on them hand and foot.  If there was anything that i could do for them to make them happy, i was more than happy to do it.  i never saw anything strange about this.  After all, this is what a good boyfriend should do for the Woman that he loves, right?

At least 3 former girlfriends have told me that i "spoiled them for all other men".  Moreover, their girlfriends always said to me that they wished they could find a guy like me.

Little did i know at the time that it was actually a submissive nature manifesting itself.  The first time i was in a relationship with a dominant Woman, it was like my first hit of crack.  Everything went into overdrive.  It was a relationship on steroids.  There was a symbiosis that i had never experienced before.  From that moment on, i was never comfortable in regular vanilla relationships.  i discovered that my desire/need to serve was much better suited to a relationship with a dominant Woman who desired to be served.  It's like peanut butter and jelly; they just go together.

Many who stand on the outside of the D/s dynamic may not understand this phenomenon.  But it sounds like You and Clip have the exact same dynamic that i have experienced.  You know that each of You is playing the role that You were meant to play, regardless of how others may see it.




TazDevil -> RE: ditch the bitch. (11/25/2009 1:52:09 PM)

what I noted and hey I am the 1 too say I am a sexest!!! it seems most male subs wont to submitt 100% and most F Dom wont a little fight, and just to turn it arond it seem like M Doms like 100% submissves and f subs like to fight.... odd hu?




heartcream -> RE: ditch the bitch. (11/25/2009 6:43:40 PM)

Honestly I have no idea what this thread is about. Not even sure how I ended up here. I will say though just because someone is still talking does not mean they have the last word.




heartcream -> RE: ditch the bitch. (11/25/2009 8:41:07 PM)

Um, so what I am saying is La T has the last word in this sitch. IMO which is the most valid opinion as we all know.




Underumam -> RE: ditch the bitch. (11/25/2009 8:59:54 PM)

My Queen just mentioned something about a certain somebody setting upon a sharp dildo..[:(]




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