CaringandReal
Posts: 1397
Joined: 2/15/2008
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quote:
ORIGINAL: jonnyringpiece
would like to revisit a point made earlier, re: service orientated subs.
can i ask why such types don't find a more deserving cause for service, if that be their motive?
(like the church volunteer group for example, or local homeless shelter)
why do these men, always find themselves in the service of someone of the desired opposite sex who just happens to have a penchant for bdsm??
why is a bossy female deserving of "service" in the minds of these men?
please, i'd really like to know!
it beggars my belief to think there is no sexual gratification obtained in such cases, however subliminally it may manifest.
Of course there's sexual gratification involved in non-sexual service to a dominant. But it may not be the sort some people arbitrarily label sexual gratification (something that ends with an O).
Some of us have a "vocation," to use the old-fashioned term for it. We find intense sexual pleasure and emotional gratification in personal service _of any sort_ to the right dominant, as long as it is what the dominant wants. For some of us, the biggest sexual thrill (whether it involves relaxing the built up pressure in the plumbing...or not) is to not have any choice or say about how that service is expressed. I personally would not trade that "not having any say" experience for all the orgasms in pornoland. I have met a very few male subs who are like me in that regard, so I know they exist. They are generally already owned or quickly snapped up. With female subs it is a bit different. While in males, it's easy to see who is like this and who is not, women are a bit more subtle and disingenous about it. Almost all of us are good at mouthing the "selflessless" talk when we want something (such as a particular dominant or sometimes such as peer group recognition for being selfless), but those who genuinely walk it are as few and far between as the male submissives. Therefore, for those attracted to female subs who know and understand the breed it becomes more a matter of determining what is real and what is just talk, rather then finding that rare submissive who sticks out like sore thumb among her peers due to her strikingly different attitudes. No single needle shining in the sun in the haystack. Thousands of needles in a single haystack, all brightly shining and seemingly solid, but only one or two will hold their shape long enough to even be threaded (let alone be a good sewing tool).
Who in their right mind in this world does anything sexual because it is a "deserving cause?" Yes, we may pick one charity over another in order to lower our taxes, but that's a decision that affects less than five minutes of our time, the time it takes to write a check (or even the single evening spent in a soup kitchen ladeling out the grub to the hungry and feeling good about oneself for doing so rather than imagining the horror of those peoples' daily lives, which make up in illness and crime and exposure for what they lack in meals). Almost nobody likes to do "pity fucks" (you don't feel very clean after one of those) and I certainly don't ever intend to spend libido-dampening time and energry serving some generic "it's been around forever and therefore supposed to be good" cause or social institution whos "goodness" and deservingness I can never genuinely ascertain for myself due to the size and anonymity of the organization (and due to my knowledge of the types of terrible people who are often attracted to such organizations). I don't even know if soup kitchens are a "good" cause, I can imagine dozens of instances in which they do more harm than good. But a single human being is on a scale that I can at least comprehend and to me there is nothing better than serving somebody who is worhty of such service.
Thank you for posting this thread. Your attitude is helping me to understand why some dominant women are so bitter and cynical, why they think in terms of the sub's money and skills instead of his personality. If I were dominant and all I ever ecountered in submissives were the totally selfish selfish "do me exactly as I want to be done and then goodbyee until the next horiness hits!" types, rather than the unconditionally devoted types, I'd probably be a bit jaded myself, and realize I had to look out for my own best interests first, because it's certainly not something most submissives think of.
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"A friend who bleeds is better" --placebo
"How seldom we recognize the sound when the bolt of our fate slides home." --thomas harris
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