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0ldhen -> RE: I Admit It I........ (12/24/2015 5:45:23 AM)
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Merry Christmas Eve, my pirates, my friends, my family. It is a snowless Christmas Eve, unusual for us. Yet daylight is barely breaking. I've lit a fire, plugged in my tree, turned on the coffeepot. Now, it’s that time again, it's peaceful, beautiful and painful, so here goes.........
patience my friends, not sympathy.......
I admit........
I admit life has kept me hopping, It was nice to see CollarMe up and running, that all our posts are restored, old friends still active. I am still on that other site, reading, keeping an eye on my friends from the other side of my life......
I admit i love you all, my kinkster family, me heart is full ......
I admit, I Love my pirates, each and every one, Battle Pirates is another home I live in......
I admit to those who've known me through all my incarnations, past and present, those who are close know what day, hour, time this is for me.....
I admit to those of you with whom I've shared my life, my home, my joys, my ups and downs, I ask your indulgence for this post, once again, as I have so many Christmas Eves in the past....
I admit, to others, well, take this post as any with a grain of salt, remembering as Trollikins would quip, YMMV......
I admit that a few hours from now, feeling silly, I'll wish I was a mod so I could pull this admit, yet, thank you gods and goddesses I am not, those folks were either insane or the most dedicated set of humans on the planet, maybe both.....
I admit, if you could go back through the years, you'd find a post just like this one, written at this hour, on this day....
I admit, in a few hours, like the rest of the world, I'll be busy, no matter how sick, no matter how I feel right now, I'll be ok again, smiling, going about my day, getting ready for Sandy Claws......
I admit, Happy Anniversary my love, my Master, my soul, I think today would have been 38 years, would it not.....
I admit, I miss you still, yearly, monthly, weekly, daily, hourly.....
I admit that on this most sacred of days, to me for a different reason than most, I still smell you, musky, all man, touch of brut, trace of 50weight, hint of winter snow, smoky leather, whiff of unfiltered camel.............
I admit I still taste your mouth, sweet gum, hot blood, wicked tongue.......
I admit, I still feel your kisses, your beard, silver even then, on that our first time, your long hair, your hands, the way you grasped me between the legs and growled MINE......
I admit, I have readied our anniversary ritual, put Lunatic Fringe on the cd player, brewed the coffee, poured the Jack Daniels, neat, into our glasses, started the fire, lit the candles, turned on the Christmas tree......
I admit, I wait, as I have these last dozen or so years, gazing at the star filled sky, straining my ears for the rumble thump of the panhead, coming for me at long last......
I admit that now, at this moment, I curse and question the wisdom of the gods for taking you but leaving me.....
I admit, I miss you, I love you, I know you ride free on the winds of forever, bitch seat empty, biding time until we are joined for that eternal putt, leather next to leather, body to body, your head on my breast, my legs tight around your waist, your fingers caressing my thigh, wind in our hair, as one we ride the rolling thunder into the night......
I admit, I'll go forward now, mourning over, pain tucked neatly away for another year........
I admit it means nothing that I tuck it away, it lives in that secret space reserved for it, for you, my Master, and you alone......
I admit, ......Well, friends, I think I've admitted enough......time to down the bourbon, drink the coffee, wipe the tears, go forth and do as He expects me to, make Christmas happen.....His favorite days of the year......
Merry Christmas Master mine, my soul, my heart, Happy Anniversary too......
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