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AAkasha -> RE: Revealing Kink- when? (11/10/2009 12:29:02 PM)
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As the dominant partner I think it's a lot easier, because it can be expressed through growing physical intimacy. For me, it just started to become evident as early as kissing and physical flirtation, because my style of affection is more predatory and demanding, and not ambiguous at all. I can't tell me how many times a man asked me before I said anything, "Are you kinky?" or "You must be into S&M or something!" as a joke, and all I had to say is, "Actually, yes. is that going to be a problem for you?"
I can only think of a few times in my life I actually "hid" it, or kept my femdomish flirtation style on the down low, and it caused a lot of internal conflict and drama. I don't recommend it. Having to have a difficult "conversation" about it, rather than just letting it evolve, leaves so much more open for disaster. I also think that as part of "defining chemistry" -- if a man doesn't respond favorably to my dominant style of affection - hair pulling when kissing, holding his wrists down, taking him by the chin and holding him still while I kiss his neck -- then he's clearly not the guy for me. We'd never have to have that conversation. If I am physically leading during the early stages of intimacy and he's resisting and trying to take back control, then I know it's not the guy for me.
edit: I have a story I wrote, inspired by one of these real life situations where I "hid" it, and I'll go post the story in the creative writing section if anyone is curious about how I dealt with the internal conflict and uncomfortable conversation. The story is called "Trey."
Akasha
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