Energy Exchange

Energy Exchange (Full Version)

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lovingpet -> Energy Exchange (11/2/2009 5:32:26 PM)
It isn't necessarily a strictly BDSM topic, but the context I am within is. I am not going to get into terribly much detail, but I have recently become aware that there is a major energy exchange that occurs with my partner. He is the one who enacts it and he does it for my benefit. Now, I'm not one who is well versed or necessarily a believer in all things "spirit realm" or whatever term you'd like to use. I do know some people (most in my case) sap my energy and wear me down. Others (a rare few for me) renew me and build me up. This came up when I was discussing how drained I get from just sitting somewhere public. I can almost hone in on exactly who is "eating" my energy always seemingly unaware they are doing so. Someone will draw my attention and I will watch them grow stronger as I fade. I have definite sensitivity to people and mental/emotional states and the like. I always have. I though of it more as an intuitive thing. I know I wind up expending a great deal toward others and it is not even an expectation that it will be reciporcated. He talked about draining my energy because it is so polluted and giving his to me. He discussed not letting people "feed" off me when I am with him and around others. It seemed so giving and protective of him and I thanked him quite sincerely, but realized I had no idea what it was he was saying to me. I know when I come back from a visit I am very clear headed, energetic, and in less pain (all forms) than when I arrived. I called it new relationship infatuation for awhile, but we are beyond that (though I'm still as infatuated as ever LOL). I said it was endorphines and hormones from play, but I have never heard of the high lasting the several days to two weeks that my response does. I also realized recently that I get a low grade response just from talking to him. I feel like I sound like a first class idiot talking all this stuff, but I am wondering about the possibility and nature of energy exchange within a D/s or M/s dynamic. A great deal of this really is him (the person and dominant nature). A lot of it is the play and time spent. There does seem to be this x factor that until today had no name at all. Those who are knowledgeable in this area I would like to hear more about this. If you don't believe in such things and find this ridiculous, I really don't need the input. I would say I accept the physics perhaps, though not necessarily the more mystical/religious implications. It is an area of curiosity. I look forward to learning more. Thanks! lovingpet

DavanKael -> RE: Energy Exchange (11/2/2009 6:52:53 PM)
Hi, lovingpet---- You seem to be feeling somewhat better and I am glad. I am personally familiar with that of which you speak though, for me, it's more of a 'knowing' about people with energetic exchange similar to that of which you speak as an ancillary thing. You seem to have a strong helping inclination and I would suspect this affinity is something that drew you to said work. No one else taught me how to modulate my knowings; I shuhem down for awhile in my teens and they came back iperfect. Sometimes I canne into a person so well that I know anphysically feel what they are feeling. It can be battering, it can be energizing. When it's with someone dear, it's better than any drug. And, the protection and fortification you mention from your partner is something that makes sense; there are some whose energy I am able to cloak myself with if I allow it. Davan

lovingpet -> RE: Energy Exchange (11/2/2009 7:09:55 PM)
I am better in regard to the areas I posted recently. There has been a lot else going on, but through careful discussion and a lot of reassurance I am on solid footing once again with both those issues and the rest. Thanks! I am very naturally empathic. In general, my work doesn't drain me necessarily. It seems to wind up a fairly even exchange in a one on one setting. I don't mess with group stuff very much because then I am overwhelmed again. I seem to have no filter, protection, etc of my own. I have never been able or had it shut off. I have had extreme connections before in very intimate settings and it can be quite rewarding like this is, or downright a nightmare like some others have been. I have many dear ones and I enjoy being with them, but it is not the same thing at all. This is something unto itself. As for the protective part of it, I don't have any kind of ability to wrap myself up in his. He literally has to put it in place for me. I doubt I have any ability at all to block anyone who wants a "piece" of me. If they need, I am a ready supply apparently except when he very intentionally ropes me off. It is all very strange to me, but I do like it. lovingpet

NuevaVida -> RE: Energy Exchange (11/2/2009 7:17:04 PM)
I don't think it's ridiculous at all, and it's something I often practiced with my former owner. I learned to open myself to his energy and let it fill me. It was almost like breathing from an oxygen mask. Sometimes this left him drained, but it was his choice so I received it. We also went through some pretty rough exercises (rough on me) in which we purged the energy I was still carrying from my toxic ex husband, but we did this much later in the game, after learning to manipulate my energy better. You don't sound like a first class idiot at all! It is very possible to transfer energy, just takes practice. It is also very possible to learn to shield yourself from other people's energy. I started by imaging a big plastic ball around me at all times, keeping theirs out. There were times when, in the most intense moments with him, I would touch him and feel my insides vibrate. That always kinda freaked me out, though lol. I'd suggest just beginning with being aware. Be aware of your own energy and be aware of his presence and what you feel from it. You can grow it from there. And enjoy!!

DesFIP -> RE: Energy Exchange (11/2/2009 7:22:39 PM)
I don't get drained by other people if I'm not interacting with them. Just sitting in a cafe as long as no one is very loud, I'll be fine. If they get into my personal space, even by being louder than normal, or acting out in such a way that your eye is inevitably drawn to them, then yes. But I'm not sure if they drain me so much as they prevent me from recharging. I'm an introvert. I need quiet and alone time to recharge. He doesn't recharge me so much as protect me from others. He'll pay attention to me drooping and insist we stop and get a drink. Or allow me to sit in the car while he runs an errand. I try not to take advantage of that because he prefers I be with him, but sometimes I simply have to. There's a limit to how much interaction I can handle.

daintydimples -> RE: Energy Exchange (11/2/2009 7:25:08 PM)
You sound like an empath to me. Empaths are "all about" feelings. They can pick up feelings (and some thoughts) from others, about things, experiences, and feelings they do not know (by learning, experiencing, and feeling) through that bond. It comes as first nature for an empath to do this - as natural as a thumb on a human. So natural infact, that often an un-trained empath has no control over this ability and can do it involuntarily. This can often be mis-interpreted as: an act of previously spying (snooping around) on someone, coincidence, evil, or just plain being "weird." But those who don't have this ability but know those of us who do, KNOW that we carry this great responsibility as best we can. This is both a gift AND a burden. Being an empath, means living a life where you face not only your pain, but the pain of others as well. Luckily, the same can be said of the good times; and feelings of happiness as well. Being in a position to be able to help those that seem often beyond help, because empaths can experience their pains which most others could never understand. Often being made into loners by their powers, and ostricized from society because of it's inability to comprehend empaths; or their gifts. Empaths have very rich (if occassionally eccentric) personalities, flairs for the dramatic, senses of character, and strongly rooted codes of honor, morality, and humanity. Healers, feelers, listeners, speakers, writers, poets, romantics, and visionaries. All these things, empaths are; and so much more. Does this sound like you? If so, you need to learn to block, to protect yourself. There are a lot of things you can do so you are not overwhelemed. Are you familiar with how to build a psychic shield? Please feel free to message me.

lovingpet -> RE: Energy Exchange (11/2/2009 7:34:03 PM)
I'm just wide open period. I am curious about the passivity in our case. He just does and I just am given. Not surprisingly, I have no say really. He does it willingly and completely on his own. My participation is quite minimal. When he is getting the crud out it is like electricity shooting outward from me. I'm left in a sort of limbo, just limp and without any real ambition at all. I am too gone to describing the filling, but I guess it is like heat usually and a heaviness, like a thick blanket pulled around me. I doesn't just feel good, but comforting too and protective in its own right. Vibrating though. I don't know. There's all kinds of crazy sensations flying around in those times. I don't know that I have the nature to be as guarded as shielding sounds. It is far too inhibitive to my natural processes. I don't think I'd fare any better inside the bubble for different reasons. I am extremely sensitive to my own energy and how it ebbs, flows, flies, and where it goes etc. It is very strange, but I've always been that way. I know when and how much I have invested in someone if I care to take note of it. It is very interesting and I am doing a horrific job explaining myself! LOL! lovingpet

lovingpet -> RE: Energy Exchange (11/2/2009 7:44:04 PM)
For me, they will draw my attention for doing nothing at all. I will just be more affected by their presence and take note that the person is around in the first place. Add to that the people that do make themselves stand out in the usual sense and it can be very draining. I like going out to some extent. I can have a very good time, in fact, but I do pay a price. Those are definitely times when quiet and solitude are usually necessary to get me back up again. Oddly enough, when I have been in such settings with him and would have normally been drained, I have been just the opposite. Staying at a crowded club playing until 2 am and a drive home in addition is usually a recipe for a 2 pm rising the next day. The one time we did such a thing, I was ready to start the day 6 hours after laying down. I was not in pain (aside from his special "gifts" hehe), and I was not at all foggy. lovingpet

lovingpet -> RE: Energy Exchange (11/2/2009 7:45:35 PM)
Yup. That pretty well nailed me, though I am pretty practical and low key. Still though, it sounds pretty on point. Cmail when I get the chance. lovingpet

Wolf2Bear -> RE: Energy Exchange (11/2/2009 8:23:46 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: daintydimples You sound like an empath to me. Empaths are "all about" feelings. They can pick up feelings (and some thoughts) from others, about things, experiences, and feelings they do not know (by learning, experiencing, and feeling) through that bond. It comes as first nature for an empath to do this - as natural as a thumb on a human. So natural infact, that often an un-trained empath has no control over this ability and can do it involuntarily. This can often be mis-interpreted as: an act of previously spying (snooping around) on someone, coincidence, evil, or just plain being "weird." But those who don't have this ability but know those of us who do, KNOW that we carry this great responsibility as best we can. This is both a gift AND a burden. Being an empath, means living a life where you face not only your pain, but the pain of others as well. Luckily, the same can be said of the good times; and feelings of happiness as well. Being in a position to be able to help those that seem often beyond help, because empaths can experience their pains which most others could never understand. Often being made into loners by their powers, and ostricized from society because of it's inability to comprehend empaths; or their gifts. Empaths have very rich (if occassionally eccentric) personalities, flairs for the dramatic, senses of character, and strongly rooted codes of honor, morality, and humanity. Healers, feelers, listeners, speakers, writers, poets, romantics, and visionaries. All these things, empaths are; and so much more. Does this sound like you? If so, you need to learn to block, to protect yourself. There are a lot of things you can do so you are not overwhelemed. Are you familiar with how to build a psychic shield? Please feel free to message me. Good point yet some of us and I include myself, the majority of the time we find this isn't a burden but a curse! At least that is how I view this.

DavanKael -> RE: Energy Exchange (11/2/2009 8:54:32 PM)
Work is generally different; the drain that I can feel personally doesn't generally seem to apply and I attribute this to boundaries. I will try to figure outow to verbalize some processes if you'd like that I seem to use for creating protections versus opening energic flows. Feel free to cmail me if you wish, lovingpet. Davan

MasterFireMaam -> RE: Energy Exchange (11/2/2009 9:29:50 PM)
This is one of the fundamental things of Our relationship with slavelliot. It's actually a fundamental thing with Our boyfriend, Andrew, as well. There are things that you can do in order to shield yourself. These are two pretty common techniques: http://www.everythingunderthemoon.net/white-light-psychic-shielding.htm http://darkpassenger.today.com/2009/04/20/empath-psychic-shielding/ Also, look into grounding and cleansing. You shouldn't be subjected to energies you do not want or be contaminated by them if you don't choose to be. Master Fire

Elipsis -> RE: Energy Exchange (11/2/2009 9:57:41 PM)
The effect is entirely in your head... but so what? If being with him makes you feel really good for a long time, then enjoy it and don't worry so much about the reason.

willowspirit -> RE: Energy Exchange (11/2/2009 10:56:14 PM)
Yes, lovingpet, this certainly is a bdsm topic. People ARE energy, the physical is just a shell. And yes, you can shield yourself and "ground" yourself. I have, but I don't like it. I miss being as "open". Maybe it's sort of a "martyr complex" but it was part of my identity to give until I had nothing left to give. I think there is some sort of a balance that needs to be struck and I haven't found it yet. When I was in a relationship with a Dominant (in contrast to a non-Dominant personality/energy who just enjoys Topping) I could be open and yet still be protected and shielded. Without feeling and believing that I am owned and possessed by a Dominant I am in serious peril -- being open to everyone.... it's as though I am a radio set to a specific frequency range and anyone who "broadcasts" at that frequency empties me. I'm like a deer-caught-in-the-headlights. Though I am solidly heterosexual, even women can draw from me. I don't "will it". It just happens, and it just seems to flow no matter what the person's personality -- Dominant, submissive or the plain 'ole vanilla masses. If they have some "Need" and that "frequency" thing, I'm a goner. Because I am at peril, I learned to put up walls and "stay in my head". I "block" myself from flowing. But I hate it. It's lonely. So lonely sometimes, that I forget and let go -- at the wrong time, with dangerous people. Walls can be protective, keeping the uninvited out. Walls can be prisons, keeping myself in. Self-protection can become such a habit that I'm worried about being able to fully let go again. I'm sorry. I wish I had more answers to give you instead of more questions. But yes, I believe in the energy. It is almost palpitable. As real as anything in the physical realm.

lovingpet -> RE: Energy Exchange (11/3/2009 6:01:32 AM)
That does make sense that the "professional" boundaries do keep things more in hand than an interaction outside such a setting. The same parameters, though, are too distant for most life situations. And it is mostly when I'm unawares and not even consciously interacting with someone that I seem most vulnerable. I have noted before that my interactions with my partner are different somehow among people and that is beyond the public/private separation that most have to one extent or another. I really can't explain this difference. lovingpet PS: Cmail when I get a chance sweetie!

lovingpet -> RE: Energy Exchange (11/3/2009 6:06:43 AM)
Thank you for these links! It gets into ground where I'm not so sure of. I could do something like this on a sheer physical world basis, but my spiritual life is not one that incorporates any of what we are discussing. It is something that will take some time for me to learn to do within my own faith. I am guessing the altered way energy will come and go will be difficult to get used to. I'm a little (maybe a lot) resistent to messing with it as it is just been the way of things as long as I can remember. Thank you for the information and I have something to think on and work with! lovingpet

lovingpet -> RE: Energy Exchange (11/3/2009 6:13:49 AM)
It might or might not be, but when I get inside someone's head and body and proceed to say or do something all too needed, it is a unique experience. Most of the time it is met with panic from the other, but I am quick to let them know their facade hasn't fallen. That's the fear. If one found their way behind it, then others might. As far as my partner and what he does with me, things that shouldn't be helped no matter how great a time I have or who I'm with do change. One of the biggest ones is that I have never once had to use my cane in his presence. It is not even debatable any other time except directly after a visit. Most days I am wondering how close I am getting to a wheelchair. Very strange stuff. lovingpet

lovingpet -> RE: Energy Exchange (11/3/2009 6:33:05 AM)
I identify with a lot of what you say. I think the resistence I just talked about comes from fearing I will inhibit or be inhibited in some way by any kind of filtering or shielding mechanism that I would employ directly. Indeed I even think there are some of us who are meant to simply be that exposed and vulnerable. It is an imperative for us to find someone in life that covers us from the outside. As much as I know perfectly well my health concerns are medical in nature, I believe a massive contributing factor is lifelong exposure of this nature. It is funny you talk about there being a difference in the dominant or submissive realm as well as by "level" so to speak. I have run across a submissive or two with pretty high protective components to their personality. It is different though. Also, the "levels" as I understand them make a huge difference for me too. Mostly for me it is a matter of intimacy, though, so that may have more to do with it than natural level of dominance or submission. Intimacy seems to determine if someone will slip up the dominance scale or down the submission scale. Pulling that apart and looking at it would be interesting, but I don't know if it is really possible for me. You say you find staying in your head blocks it. For me, it seems like BECAUSE I am in my head the flow occurs. When I don't have family obligations and am otherwise up to it, I go out somewhere and just think... over a meal, a drink, or just looking out a window. I don't need a bunch of things to distract me from the wait. My mind is plenty active. If someone were observing me, they would see me off in my own little world one minute and then sharply move to look a one specific person, usually minding their own business. Something slipped away from me. I can usually locate where it went, but not always. Anyway, I talk about this and feel like a complete loon. As much as I know what I feel and know that energy is a basic of physics, I just sound nutty to myself. Just one more area that my partner has stepped into and I will have to figure out I guess. lovingpet

oceanwynds1 -> RE: Energy Exchange (11/3/2009 9:36:07 AM)
Hi lovingpet Yes, I do understand what you are experiencing, and have lived it since I have been a child. Back in the day it was title sensitive, now it is title empathic, both words are accurate. Plus, this is where my natural ability lies, and even though i use to see it as a curse, I can't run from it, or hide it under the bed. I have had to learn techniques to keep my own energy up, and not be drained, though sometimes I have to work really hard at doing so. Sir and i are now discussing this aspect of me, and how at times energy vampires just suck me dry, and how at times i can't find where i end and another begins, sice it becomes emeshed and foggy at times for me. This also is my profession, so i have to do dbl duty to make sure i know who i am and that my energy is intact. I have also noticed during different times of the year or special events, i can become more drained and confused. There are many ways to clock yourself and to use the strength of your spiritual connectness to help you. When i am at work, i always have one foot on the ground and visualize all energy that is not conducive to me going through my body and out my foot into Mother Earth. This helps me to be hollow bones and just transfer all energy to something that is Greater then me to cleanse. I have too spend a lot of alone time as well, so I can heal during difficult times, usually those are done outside in nature. Though it is commonly told to write 5 things a day that you are grateful for, it is a must for me to do so two times a day at least, since I talk to a lot of sad lonely and hurting people. This is the strongest method I know for myself to get back into a positive mind-set, verses taking everyone's problems. One other thing is watching where my attention goes, it gives me clues if i am coming from a victim, child or other archetypes that are in me. There are days i have to maintain more discipline in my focus, and other days I can let up a little. Anyways, I hope this helps, and if I can help you with ideas etc, just cmail me;) oceanwynds

kccuckoldmist -> RE: Energy Exchange (11/3/2009 2:34:24 PM)
I think everyone is susceptible to things in life that drain our energy and things that give us energy. It can people certain types of people, things we do and often even just how we think or go about doing things. I think self awareness and knowing how to deal and manage this can be a great benefit to many. In terms of power exchange I often express that communication of what gives us energy and what drains energy from us in both roles is critical and for the dominant to manage this accordingly so neither runs out of gas.

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