D/S without BDSM

D/S without BDSM (Full Version)

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Faitherbee -> D/S without BDSM (10/2/2009 12:07:32 PM)
So, this is something I have been curious about ever since we started looking in to and acting on a 24/7 D/S style of life. For us, this works great. She is naturally submissive towards me, gains a lot of her own emotional stability from mine, etc. She is also a pain chicken though. Which is okay because, consquently, I don't have any urge to hurt her. I guess my thought is I don't see any reason why D/S and BDSM need to be two parts of the same whole, and yet I have never read of anyone practicing like we do. Just raised my curiousity and I was out looking for opinions.

mnottertail -> RE: D/S without BDSM (10/2/2009 12:11:07 PM)
well, slaves and dominants are not necessarily masochists or sadists, yeah, gets alotta press, but it ain't everybody. Ron

SylvereApLeanan -> RE: D/S without BDSM (10/2/2009 12:18:58 PM)
BDSM is a combination acronym but no one ever said you had to do B/D or S/M in order to do D/S. If it works for you, great. You're still part of the acronym. Not that it matters.

subTeacher4u -> RE: D/S without BDSM (10/2/2009 12:52:06 PM)
I assume you have sat down and talked this all out. In doing so, the guidelines as to what the relationship looks like for both of you should be clearly defined. If you are both in agreement, than you should strive to foster that trust within the contents of what you defined, your own personal relationship. Sir

TurboJugend -> RE: D/S without BDSM (10/2/2009 1:03:08 PM)
I think a 1950 household can do without bdsm too. So D/s but with out the sm. You can have it as you 2 wish. The name doesn't matter

AquaticSub -> RE: D/S without BDSM (10/2/2009 1:20:50 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Faitherbee I guess my thought is I don't see any reason why D/S and BDSM need to be two parts of the same whole, and yet I have never read of anyone practicing like we do. Just raised my curiousity and I was out looking for opinions. It's not all that uncommon really. Just doesn't get as much press as the fancy-schamcy floggings. [:)] A lof the time Val and I tend to function along those lines since we tend to not be scene heavy for a combination of reasons.

kccuckoldmist -> RE: D/S without BDSM (10/2/2009 2:21:51 PM)
No reason as others have written it cannot work. I think many happy and loving relationships, even many in this way of life, have more to do with mutually agreed and communicated roles for the two people. Sometimes this can include kinky things and sometimes kinky things are nowhere to be seen. I do personally believe the more severe the power exchange that there is the more of a correlation toward the people in it to want/enjoy/need physical manifestations of that power that leads to kinky things in their relationship. But there is no such thing as an instruction manual or must do this to be given the seal of approval. If you guys are happy and in love then whatever you are doing is right for both of you.

IronBear -> RE: D/S without BDSM (10/2/2009 2:48:12 PM)
Certainly the Victorian Lifestyle is D/s (if slaves/servants are involved) and is not dependent on either slaves/servants nor BDSM nor are many Gorean Lifestyle Homes. BDSM is just an entertainment for some of whom may take it more seriously than others just as owning a slave or slaves is one of the perks if you can snare one or three..

blmtrsne -> RE: D/S without BDSM (10/2/2009 3:03:07 PM)
Well, in our couple it's the same. He wants to serve me and I'm happy with it. I own him and his assets and he's at my service day and night, 365 days a year. It feels good and right.

Amaros -> RE: D/S without BDSM (10/2/2009 3:21:10 PM)
There are no rules, BD and Sado-Masochism are neither inextricably linked or mutually exclusive.

Acer49 -> RE: D/S without BDSM (10/2/2009 4:21:19 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Faitherbee So, this is something I have been curious about ever since we started looking in to and acting on a 24/7 D/S style of life. For us, this works great. She is naturally submissive towards me, gains a lot of her own emotional stability from mine, etc. She is also a pain chicken though. Which is okay because, consquently, I don't have any urge to hurt her. I guess my thought is I don't see any reason why D/S and BDSM need to be two parts of the same whole, and yet I have never read of anyone practicing like we do. Just raised my curiousity and I was out looking for opinions. <<chuckles>> Someone simply decided to stick the two terms together. Many people do things seperate

DesFIP -> RE: D/S without BDSM (10/2/2009 4:53:32 PM)
Taken in Hand or Domestic Discipline fits this also, assigned power roles but no kink. Or not much, they both seem to stress spanking for any damned mistake which makes me wonder.

Mercnbeth -> RE: D/S without BDSM (10/2/2009 4:57:30 PM)
quote: ...I guess my thought is I don't see any reason why D/S and BDSM need to be two parts of the same whole, and yet I have never read of anyone practicing like we do. Just raised my curiousity and I was out looking for opinions... it has been this slave's experience that MOST of the folks she has encountered that enjoy a D/s dynamic have no interest in Bondage, Discipline, Sadism and/or Masochism. from time to time...like other things in life...they overlap.

SelenaEndymion -> RE: D/S without BDSM (10/2/2009 7:10:17 PM)
Not so usual as you would think. In fact, you'd probably be surprised by the number of couples, even on the FLR or WLM sides, that are heavy on the D/s and power-relation elements, and have virtually no S & M, or "traditional" BDSM elements. There are many blogs that reflect that. If it works for the two of you, if it makes you happy and fulfilled, than enjoy it and grow with it. Dymion

Daddysredhead -> RE: D/S without BDSM (10/2/2009 7:20:08 PM)
Sounds a bit like "taken in hand" or a 1950's type of relationship. Let no one else define you and your lady. If it works for you, wonderful. In this lifestyle, one size does not fit all, so to speak.

leadership527 -> RE: D/S without BDSM (10/2/2009 7:29:16 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Faitherbee I guess my thought is I don't see any reason why D/S and BDSM need to be two parts of the same whole, and yet I have never read of anyone practicing like we do. Just raised my curiousity and I was out looking for opinions. laughs You need to read more. Not only are the entire huge communities (taken in hand for instance) which are not so focused on sadism and masochism, you'll find you're not alone even here in the wilds of BDSM-land. Carol and I don't have any real interest in bondage, discipline, sadism, masochism, elaborate outfits and costumes, and pretty much the entire rest of the sexual wild side. I just like bossing her around.

kallisto -> RE: D/S without BDSM (10/2/2009 7:35:49 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Daddysredhead In this lifestyle, one size does not fit all, so to speak. Very well said!!! [:)]

aldompdx -> RE: D/S without BDSM (10/2/2009 7:49:58 PM)
The doctrine of consent supports omission of the "BM."

masterlink65 -> RE: D/S without BDSM (10/2/2009 9:00:59 PM)
my relationship with my slave seldom has bdsm activity. m/s does not equal bdsm, bdsm and m/s do not equal sex. i see big difference in all this. with control and power over my slave, my slave is very well trained and we have home and business together. i have very little reason for discipline, unless my slave acts inapropriate. sometimes we enjoy a bdsm session, but it plays very little role in the big picture of our master/slave relationship

AnimusRex -> RE: D/S without BDSM (10/3/2009 9:39:38 AM)
NO, no, no! No, you are not allowed to be in the club unless you participate in sado-masochism! Who let this guy in the door, anyway? Don't we have some sort of vetting going on anymore? What the hell? Heh, just teasing. Kim and I are very low on the kink-o-meter and aren't big on pain either. Welcome to the boards.

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