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RE: Normal? - 9/29/2009 2:07:00 AM

ShaunG

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Joined: 9/28/2009
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Wow great to see that I stimulated some conversation...

Well this is why I didn't like using the world normal.... The context in which I was using it was based of the majority of society. While for me, being kinky is normal because I've been like that all my life. However, most friends and parents would not agree that I am "normal" so I was basing my post off that. What society labels as normal, even though what were into is completely natural.

A lot of people are asking me what the question was in my topic, but I don't really have one. I've just been a little alone when it comes to talking about the things I'm into, so I was pleased to find this site...

Thanks for the info about the ice cream cone, i'll be working on getting my cuffs... so i'll see you guys around.

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Post #: 21

RE: Normal? - 9/29/2009 2:37:34 AM

WyldHrt

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quote:

eventually you might have a forest of paddles under your name and the word 'deranged'... and what comes after that? Evil?
how does that possibly translate to any subs here?
i will change my nickname when that happens and start afresh with lovely vanilla again...

ROFL!!!! Some of my favourite peeps here are "Deranged". Wouldn't trade them for all the nilla cones in the universe

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Post #: 22

RE: Normal? - 9/29/2009 4:04:23 AM

DesFIP

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I'd rather have a chocolate ice cream cone.

Most of us here do not appear when you look at us as though we enjoy bondage and such in the bedroom. I'm a classic soccer mom, minivan, PTA member and so on. Doesn't mean I don't seriously adore being tied up, I do.

It also is not apparent when you speak to him and me, that he makes the decisions and I follow along. He doesn't call me bitch in front of the waitress at the diner, doesn't bark orders at me, I don't crawl at his feet with our blended family watching. Actually I don't tend to crawl at his feet when we're alone. But when he says "don't get the strawberry ice cream, get something chocolate" I do it. Because those kind of ho hum decisions are the ones that come up the most.

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RE: Normal? - 9/29/2009 7:06:30 AM

MindOvrMatter

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Welcome to CM Shaun. Don't get all tangled up in your paradigms about what is "normal" or "regular". You enjoy thoughts of kink, therefore you are a kinkster like the majority of us here. Beyond that, the sky is the limit and no label or avatar description can define any of us thoroughly. Believe me, as someone who thought as you did for many years, it can be far easier to find another kinky partner, who mostly leads a vanilla life, than it is to find a vanilla partner who is into kink. You simply have to take off your 'blinder of preconceptions' and put yourself out there, just as you did when posting this topic.

Kudos and good luck to you...

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RE: Normal? - 9/29/2009 7:22:57 AM

xoxkittenxox

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I'm the same way. For me, sex and kink stays in the bedroom and I cannot divulge such information to my parents or anyone.

I can even feel fully happy with normal relationships!

I'm bi-sexual! Vanilla/BDSM. Males/Females.

Anyone who CAN do it 24/7 must be rich and live in seclusion. Unless there are some kind of little communities that people can live in and it is seen as normal to walk a slave on a leash down the street, in nothing... Then normal life always has to resume at some point. Even for those who are out and about in such relationships.

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Post #: 25

RE: Normal? - 9/29/2009 7:31:59 AM

CarrieO

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quote:

ORIGINAL: xoxkittenxox

Anyone who CAN do it 24/7 must be rich and live in seclusion. Unless there are some kind of little communities that people can live in and it is seen as normal to walk a slave on a leash down the street, in nothing... Then normal life always has to resume at some point. Even for those who are out and about in such relationships.

You assume that to be a slave a person must be nude 24/7 and be walked on a leash? Normal is relative to each person and situation.
If you mean roleplay...yes, that generally comes to an end when the scene is finished. Not everyone roleplays, though.

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Post #: 26

RE: Normal? - 9/29/2009 10:26:19 AM

DesFIP

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quote:

ORIGINAL: xoxkittenxox

Anyone who CAN do it 24/7 must be rich and live in seclusion. Unless there are some kind of little communities that people can live in and it is seen as normal to walk a slave on a leash down the street, in nothing... Then normal life always has to resume at some point. Even for those who are out and about in such relationships.

No, you totally don't get it. Most of life are little things.

Should I go to the hardware store and buy a plumber's wrench and try to unclog the kitchen sink or should I wait till he comes home and let him do it? This is today's question and since I do what he says, I will wait till he has time to answer it and then do what he says.

It's not about being naked and sexual all the time, it's just doing what he says.

So when I'm planning chicken pot pie for dinner and he decides he wants to grill, I put the pot pie fixings back into the fridge and pull out hamburgers.

My children and my father see me do stuff like this all the time and nobody has ever raised an eyebrow. Because most of the decisions he makes are about every day life. What makes him in charge is that he makes those ordinary decisions when he feels like it and allows me to make them when he doesn't care.

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Post #: 27

RE: Normal? - 9/29/2009 10:28:36 AM

mnottertail

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quote:

ORIGINAL: xoxkittenxox

Anyone who CAN do it 24/7 must be rich and live in seclusion. Unless there are some kind of little communities that people can live in and it is seen as normal to walk a slave on a leash down the street, in nothing... Then normal life always has to resume at some point. Even for those who are out and about in such relationships.

You need to get outta the house, and walk around Los Angeles, by example.......nothing could be more humdrum than that.

Ron

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Post #: 28

RE: Normal? - 9/29/2009 10:51:58 AM

abuddingdom

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lolol! I asked that question after my first couple posts, too.

In response to the op - I'm fortunate in that there's several groups within a 100 mile radius of where I live. I'm only real active in 2, & one of them is private and fairly small. But I know a good number of people who fit your description right here in my neighborhood. Being D/s or living the "lifestyle" is not a requirement for membership in the groups I know of and there must be plenty of groups in the Bay area.

in response to xoxkittenxox - I couldn't disagree with you more. That's a broad interpretation of 24/7 . We live it 24/7. Are we kinky 24/7? Hardly - you're right in that to live like a kink fantasy of Master&slave you'd have to have extreme resources , time, not to mention a desire to live that way. And good imagination, which is the only one of the 4 that I have in abundance. But not many live as your quip describes......

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Post #: 29

RE: Normal? - 9/29/2009 11:04:56 AM

looking4princess

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quote:

I hate to use the word normal, but I'm just a regular guy into good food, photography, hiking, sitting and talking, sitting and not talking, movies, music... etc.

However, bondage, leather and violence are also on the agenda, and it is off-putting to most people. I've always liked girls with dark hair that wear leather boots, chokers, corsets, leather etc... I'm definitely a closet kink so I don't meet to many other people like me. I'm not afraid to admit it, it's just not something you can always talk about.

OYE!! And i though we were all normal. Sheesch!

Don't confuse leather fashions which have become tres popular with Lifestyle. Many a girl/guy walking around with a choker just to make a fashion statement... don't mean they are KINKY

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Post #: 30

RE: Normal? - 9/29/2009 11:25:51 AM

ShaunG

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Yes, the things you highlighted are very commonplace and not specific to bdsm, however violence and bondage are. I don't assume every girl in leather is a kink... All I was saying is I find it attractive. I'm not trying to define anything in this thread, and it seeems like peoe are making the assumption that I'm defining normal. All I was doing was setting context for my statement, which was centered around the fact that the majority of the population isn't into bondage to the extent I am...

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RE: Normal? - 9/29/2009 11:41:44 AM

TEMPERANCE

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quote:

ORIGINAL: ShaunG

Is there anyone out there that can be laid back, chill with a movie, cook or do anything... I guess I could say someone else who dresses kinky sometimes and is mostly unassuming.

Yes me.... such a shame you are in the states....

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Post #: 32

RE: Normal? - 9/29/2009 12:11:24 PM

CarrieO

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quote:

ORIGINAL: ShaunG

Yes, the things you highlighted are very commonplace and not specific to bdsm, however violence and bondage are. I don't assume every girl in leather is a kink... All I was saying is I find it attractive. I'm not trying to define anything in this thread, and it seeems like peoe are making the assumption that I'm defining normal. All I was doing was setting context for my statement, which was centered around the fact that the majority of the population isn't into bondage to the extent I am...

OP,
It seems to me that you're defining your normal, which is perfectly fine. Believe me, I think people get that. It's always good to not assume...like linking bondage and violence, not everyone who likes to play with rope is into violence or s&m. We all have our own uniquely normal setting. It doesn't make anyone in particular special...just normal according to their own standards.

Or, to quote Erma Bombeck, "Normal is just a setting on the washing machine"

Don't let the fact that people, myself included, pick apart your posts and try to find meaning...that's what happens on a message board. At least you got a discussion going.
BTW...welcome aboard!

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RE: Normal? - 9/29/2009 12:44:22 PM

bliss4us09

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I'm not sure that "normal" is any more than an abstract construction of the social sciences - but I am sure that there are plenty of folks out there who meet your criteria. Good luck!

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Post #: 34