Normal?

Normal? (Full Version)

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ShaunG -> Normal? (9/28/2009 5:00:41 PM)
I hate to use the word normal, but I'm just a regular guy into good food, photography, hiking, sitting and talking, sitting and not talking, movies, music... etc. However, bondage, leather and violence are also on the agenda, and it is off-putting to most people. I've always liked girls with dark hair that wear leather boots, chokers, corsets, leather etc... I'm definitely a closet kink so I don't meet to many other people like me. I'm not afraid to admit it, it's just not something you can always talk about. The thing is, it's either one extreme or the other... I'm not looking for a lifestyle, or even something predominantly sexual. I'm passionate about tying up, getting tied up, gags, leather and some pain... but inside the bedroom, and events only. Is there anyone out there that can be laid back, chill with a movie, cook or do anything... I guess I could say someone else who dresses kinky sometimes and is mostly unassuming.

daintydimples -> RE: Normal? (9/28/2009 5:05:55 PM)
Welcome to the CM forums.

ShaunG -> RE: Normal? (9/28/2009 5:14:47 PM)
How do you change the little symbol under your name? I am most definitely not vanilla as it claims.

Coemgen -> RE: Normal? (9/28/2009 5:44:06 PM)
I think the majority of people keep it in the bedroom and live the rest of their lives "normally". Kudos to those who live the lifestyle 24/7, but most of us have normal jobs to go to and family and friends who don't need to know (and want to know) what we are into.

CarrieO -> RE: Normal? (9/28/2009 6:19:16 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: ShaunG I hate to use the word normal, but I'm just a regular guy into good food, photography, hiking, sitting and talking, sitting and not talking, movies, music... etc. Ahhh, so this is what makes a person normal. Or is this conforming to an image of normalcy? However, bondage, leather and violence are also on the agenda, and it is off-putting to most people. I've always liked girls with dark hair that wear leather boots, chokers, corsets, leather etc... I'm definitely a closet kink so I don't meet to many other people like me. I'm not afraid to admit it, it's just not something you can always talk about. Depends on the people you choose to discuss these things with...the company you keep. The thing is, it's either one extreme or the other... I'm not looking for a lifestyle, or even something predominantly sexual. I'm passionate about tying up, getting tied up, gags, leather and some pain... but inside the bedroom, and events only. Is there anyone out there that can be laid back, chill with a movie, cook or do anything... I guess I could say someone else who dresses kinky sometimes and is mostly unassuming. So, this is your normal. Would it have to be extreme...would I be too extreme...if this wasn't my normal? Would one be more acceptable than the other? What was the question? *edited to add....You change your vanilla status by posting more on the forums.

sunshinemiss -> RE: Normal? (9/28/2009 6:26:44 PM)
stopping in to stalk my dear friend Carrie O - Hey girl! To the OP: The vanilla cone disappears as your number of posts go up. Don't sweat it. I looked at your profile - great photos. I do want to disagree with you about something though. I don't find it hard to meet people "like us" at all. I'm pretty open minded and fairly open about being sensually adventurous. Somehow they just slip out of the woodwork to come to me. Yes, that's generally true. But Carrie is right. What's the question? You might want to spend some times here on the forums. I've been to the chat rooms, tried to find folks through the "search" feature, but in the end here on the forums, we tend to get to know each other quite well. Many of us have met real life (some of the lucky suckers have married each other real life), we talk on the phone and on chat, and generally have a good time together - silliness and serious are both de riguer. However, it's about what you are comfortable with. I wouldn't expect you to take my word for it... Just sharing my own experience. By the way, anyone seen DV? I'm planning to have dinner with her and her man this week. If you see her, tell her I'm looking for her, will you? Bah, I'll just give her a call. Well wishes, and welcome to the forums.

Musicmystery -> RE: Normal? (9/28/2009 6:34:28 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: ShaunG How do you change the little symbol under your name? I am most definitely not vanilla as it claims. It changes on its own, reflecting how many posts you have. On post #26, you'll move on to new symbols.

littlewonder -> RE: Normal? (9/28/2009 6:36:44 PM)
Well I'm a slave 24/7 to Master but that doesn't mean I don't lead a normal life. We go to museums, restaurants, festivals, hang out with friends who aren't bdsm types, go hiking, listen to music, watch movies, etc...just like everyone else on the planet. Just because you enjoy bdsm doesn't mean you can't lead a normal life.

leadership527 -> RE: Normal? (9/28/2009 6:45:21 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Coemgen I think the majority of people keep it in the bedroom and live the rest of their lives "normally". Kudos to those who live the lifestyle 24/7, but most of us have normal jobs to go to and family and friends who don't need to know (and want to know) what we are into. Not onlly do I agree with this, but I need to point out that the vast majority of my 24/7 lifestyle life is pretty "normal" too. Like, right now for instance, the dishes need to be done. You know, kind of by it's very nature, normal is everywhere.

Elipsis -> RE: Normal? (9/28/2009 8:15:52 PM)
It's out there. I've read a few profiles of people who specifically discuss "bedroom only"submission and the like.

dreamerdreaming -> RE: Normal? (9/28/2009 8:42:16 PM)
What you are looking for is a bottom. Someone who will enjoy keeping the kink in the bedroom only, as you do. There are tons of them, I'm sure. Just state clearly that that's what you want, because you yourself only want to top her in the bedroom (read: for sex). Make certain she knows this and is not seeking lifestyle D/s, before you proceed. You should do just fine.

Elipsis -> RE: Normal? (9/28/2009 8:43:42 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: dreamerdreaming What you are looking for is a bottom. Someone who will enjoy keeping the kink in the bedroom only, as you do. There are tons of them, I'm sure. Just state clearly that that's what you want, because you yourself only want to top her in the bedroom (read: for sex). Make certain she knows this and is not seeking lifestyle D/s, before you proceed. You should do just fine. He's a switch.

feathersnfire -> RE: Normal? (9/28/2009 8:47:24 PM)
I am seeking a top. Want a "bedroom" dom, who is willing to have a poly relationship in private. But in "real" life, I want it vanilla.

dreamerdreaming -> RE: Normal? (9/28/2009 8:47:40 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Elipsis quote: ORIGINAL: dreamerdreaming What you are looking for is a bottom. Someone who will enjoy keeping the kink in the bedroom only, as you do. There are tons of them, I'm sure. Just state clearly that that's what you want, because you yourself only want to top her in the bedroom (read: for sex). Make certain she knows this and is not seeking lifestyle D/s, before you proceed. You should do just fine. He's a switch. Oh. I missed that. I stand corrected, thank you Elipsis. [:)]

AAkasha -> RE: Normal? (9/28/2009 9:10:03 PM)
Speaking from the femdom POV, yes, there are women that are interested in kinky exporation, or that have bondage fetishes and the like. Like anything, you just have to be patient and seek the woman first and foremost, and the play partner second. Lots of men line up, literally, to be the guinea pig of a femdom. Since you are easy on the eyes and appear well rounded and like you have a personality, you may move quickly up the food chain, but you should also work on becoming a good bottom for a sensual and/or sadistic femdom top. Play close attention to what constitutes a sensual, exciting and engaging bottoming -- that is to say, it's not just about being bound & gagged and tormented, it's about what you bring to the whole experience, and how your surrender and vulnerability makes your femdom's heart pound. Hope that makes sense! Akasha

DavanKael -> RE: Normal? (9/28/2009 9:28:25 PM)
Sounds like you're looking for a relationship. Things aren't as polar as you may initially think: vanilla vs kinky. Just as you have diversified interests, so too do those who you may consider for partnership. Good luck and welcome, Davan

Acer49 -> RE: Normal? (9/28/2009 10:25:11 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: ShaunG I hate to use the word normal, but I'm just a regular guy into good food, photography, hiking, sitting and talking, sitting and not talking, movies, music... etc. However, bondage, leather and violence are also on the agenda, and it is off-putting to most people. I've always liked girls with dark hair that wear leather boots, chokers, corsets, leather etc... I'm definitely a closet kink so I don't meet to many other people like me. I'm not afraid to admit it, it's just not something you can always talk about. The thing is, it's either one extreme or the other... I'm not looking for a lifestyle, or even something predominantly sexual. I'm passionate about tying up, getting tied up, gags, leather and some pain... but inside the bedroom, and events only. Is there anyone out there that can be laid back, chill with a movie, cook or do anything... I guess I could say someone else who dresses kinky sometimes and is mostly unassuming. If this is what you desire then I suggest you put in your profile. the forums are not a place for personal ads

roughleather -> RE: Normal? (9/28/2009 10:34:19 PM)
What you want is totally normal, and lots of fun. You're in SF, where it ought to be easy to find what you want. Try Bondage a Go Go, Wednesday nights at the Glas Kat. You'll definitely see girls with dark hair in leather and boots. BAGG is fun because it's a dance club. BAGG also has a few strippers. Some of the scantily clad dancers work there, some are just there for fun, and it's not obvious which are which. That make it interesting. Go to Death Guild there on a Monday if you like dressy goth. The outfits are fantastic, but the woman in black leather and spike-heeled boots may not be kinky at all. However, it's OK to ask. That's an SF thing, by the way. It's OK to ask someone you just met in a club if they're kinky, and in what way. Bear in mind the goth slogan: "Beautiful, single, sane - pick two". It's easy to meet beautiful, hot, kinky women in SF who are seriously mental. They're single because their previous partners got fed up with them. If you can stand the drama, there's fun to be had there. But those types become a pain after a short while. There's also a Serious Fetish Crowd. They go to the Citadel, organize events like the Leather Leadership Conference, give classes, and generally overcomplicate the whole thing. If you like sitting in metal folding chairs while being lectured on knotwork, go for it.

porcelaine -> RE: Normal? (9/28/2009 10:41:38 PM)
you appear diverse in your interests and able to convey what you like. the balance you possess between the bedroom interests and normal day to day stuff is good. most will find this approach more appealing than the more stringent ones you might encounter. add in your age and appearance and you have a lot going for you. perhaps your desires will change with more experience. keep an open mind. welcome to cm and best of luck. porcelaine

ranja -> RE: Normal? (9/29/2009 1:20:47 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: ShaunG How do you change the little symbol under your name? I am most definitely not vanilla as it claims. I wish i still had a vanilla cone, i think vanilla is lovely eventually you might have a forest of paddles under your name and the word 'deranged'... and what comes after that? Evil? how does that possibly translate to any subs here? i will change my nickname when that happens and start afresh with lovely vanilla again...

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