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Find it hard... - 9/19/2009 7:10:45 AM   
gamerPup


Posts: 7
Joined: 9/8/2009
Status: offline 		For all it seems, after a more than a year I have personally met one person in real life who happened to be on this site. So far at least, and it didn't seem to go anywhere beyond a few days of getting along.

And so far it seems just impossible to find someone who isn't take who is interested in talking then seeing where that leads, or even just finding friends. It seems 2/3 people are fake and try to talk you into giving them money... Beyond that, it seems nearly impossible to find a person who is single and honestly trying to do anything: What I mean by that is they would be single but refuse to talk, not ever a hello or "not interested", just a cold shoulder.

Anything someone can advise? Just to note: I know I could find a pro-domme or someone like that, but that is not the way I would want to have my first experience...
Profile   Post #: 1
RE: Find it hard... - 9/19/2009 7:13:14 AM   
Level


Posts: 25145
Joined: 3/3/2006
Status: offline 		Patience is a virtue.

Go to a munch.

Stop saying shit like "2/3 people are fake". It isn't accurate, and even if it is, it comes across as whiny, and we know how attractive that is, right?

_____________________________

Fake the heat and scratch the itch
Skinned up knees and salty lips
Let go it's harder holding on
One more trip and I'll be gone

~~ Stone Temple Pilots

(in reply to gamerPup)
Profile   Post #: 2
RE: Find it hard... - 9/19/2009 7:14:49 AM   
LadyPact


Posts: 32566
Status: offline 		The best advice that I have is not to rely on this site alone.  Go to munches and events instead of just doing the online thing.

There are plenty of us who know each other and have met away from the computer screen. 


_____________________________

The crowned Diva of Destruction. ~ ExT

Beach Ball Sized Lady Nuts. ~ TWD

Happily dating a new submissive. It's official. I've named him engie.

Please do not send me email here. Unless I know you, I will delete the email unread

(in reply to gamerPup)
Profile   Post #: 3
RE: Find it hard... - 9/19/2009 7:17:13 AM   
gamerPup


Posts: 7
Joined: 9/8/2009
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Level

Patience is a virtue.

Go to a munch.

Stop saying shit like "2/3 people are fake". It isn't accurate, and even if it is, it comes across as whiny, and we know how attractive that is, right?

When I say fake I mean the people who refuse to talk on collarMe and demand to take it to yahoo, then when you start to talk on yahoo they immediately try to talk you into signing up for a webcam site.

Not fake as in, they aren't who they say they are

(in reply to Level)
Profile   Post #: 4
RE: Find it hard... - 9/19/2009 7:20:58 AM   
Level


Posts: 25145
Joined: 3/3/2006
Status: offline 		Gotcha, but how many of those are there? I understand that it would be annoying to encounter that, but I know there are plenty of folks not like that. Really, going to a munch will place you in the midst of "real" people, and give you a chance at hitting it off with one.

_____________________________

Fake the heat and scratch the itch
Skinned up knees and salty lips
Let go it's harder holding on
One more trip and I'll be gone

~~ Stone Temple Pilots

(in reply to gamerPup)
Profile   Post #: 5
RE: Find it hard... - 9/19/2009 7:23:08 AM   
gamerPup


Posts: 7
Joined: 9/8/2009
Status: offline 		True, but I have tried to find local munches and most of the time they are much further away than I could go to in a day. I don't know if I keep looking in the wrong place or what...

(in reply to Level)
Profile   Post #: 6
RE: Find it hard... - 9/19/2009 7:31:33 AM   
IWantYou


Posts: 22
Joined: 6/7/2004
From: Brampton, Ontario
Status: offline 		@ Condemned... gamerPup is quite correct in what they are refering to. I come acroos many profiles that ask that. I have had countless emails here wanting me to contact them in Yahoo or MSN only to either find they want you to sign onto a webcam site or start the process of telling you they are in need of money as they are stuck in some country and can;t get home, there dad died a long time ago and now mom is in hospital and they can't get on properly.

Maybe you haven't had this happen... maybe you have but the reality it happens and it will continue to happen

_____________________________

Never say never

(in reply to gamerPup)
Profile   Post #: 7
RE: Find it hard... - 9/19/2009 7:36:47 AM   
LadyPact


Posts: 32566
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: gamerPup

True, but I have tried to find local munches and most of the time they are much further away than I could go to in a day. I don't know if I keep looking in the wrong place or what...

New Jersey is not that big of a state that it would take more than a day to get anywhere.


_____________________________

The crowned Diva of Destruction. ~ ExT

Beach Ball Sized Lady Nuts. ~ TWD

Happily dating a new submissive. It's official. I've named him engie.

Please do not send me email here. Unless I know you, I will delete the email unread

(in reply to gamerPup)
Profile   Post #: 8
RE: Find it hard... - 9/19/2009 7:38:58 AM   
Level


Posts: 25145
Joined: 3/3/2006
Status: offline 		Sure, it happens, but that's where the patience comes in to play. Gamer is 19, I think, and has a damn long life ahead. Slow down, don't get discouraged. New Jersey surely has plenty of kinky folks - Aileen comes to mind. Maybe she will see this, and give the OP some helpful info.

_____________________________

Fake the heat and scratch the itch
Skinned up knees and salty lips
Let go it's harder holding on
One more trip and I'll be gone

~~ Stone Temple Pilots

(in reply to IWantYou)
Profile   Post #: 9
RE: Find it hard... - 9/19/2009 7:39:18 AM   
wandersalone


Posts: 4666
Joined: 11/21/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: IWantYou

@ Condemned... gamerPup is quite correct in what they are refering to. I come acroos many profiles that ask that. I have had countless emails here wanting me to contact them in Yahoo or MSN only to either find they want you to sign onto a webcam site or start the process of telling you they are in need of money as they are stuck in some country and can;t get home, there dad died a long time ago and now mom is in hospital and they can't get on properly.

Maybe you haven't had this happen... maybe you have but the reality it happens and it will continue to happen


Which is why there are countless threads devoted to suggestions about getting away from the computer where possible and meeting people at events, munches, for coffee etc. If it takes you a number of hours to drive to the event and maybe even an overnight stay but it results in you making real life connections isn't that worth the initial effort and getting out of your comfort zone??

The other option of course is for people to continue to do what they have been doing so far, which is writing to people on here with minimal success and then posting about how everyone here is a fake


_____________________________

Our lives begin to end the day we become silent about things that matter. Martin Luther King
Godmother of the subbie mafia
My all time favourite threads
http://www.collarchat.com/fb.asp?m=2002501
http://www.collarchat.com/fb.asp?m=790885

(in reply to IWantYou)
Profile   Post #: 10
RE: Find it hard... - 9/19/2009 7:39:51 AM   
gamerPup


Posts: 7
Joined: 9/8/2009
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyPact

quote:

ORIGINAL: gamerPup

True, but I have tried to find local munches and most of the time they are much further away than I could go to in a day. I don't know if I keep looking in the wrong place or what...

New Jersey is not that big of a state that it would take more than a day to get anywhere.


Well the only munches I ever can find info on are an hour or more of a drive and at night, and for someone who typically has to be at work early in the morning... not really a good thing for me

(in reply to LadyPact)
Profile   Post #: 11
RE: Find it hard... - 9/19/2009 7:40:26 AM   
angelikaJ


Posts: 8641
Joined: 6/22/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: gamerPup

True, but I have tried to find local munches and most of the time they are much further away than I could go to in a day. I don't know if I keep looking in the wrong place or what...


I typed in BDSM Munches NJ into google
http://www.darkheart.com/usalist.html#New%20Jersey 

http://www.domsubfriends.com/cgi-local/wwwdir/db.cgi?db=org&uid=default&state=NEW+JERSEY&view_records=View+Records&ww=on 

And those are just 2.
You are in NJ.
Which means you are not far from NYC or PA.

If you can find a TNG group that will have some younger people in it.

_____________________________

The original home of the caffeinated psychotic hair pixies.
(as deemed by He who owns me)

http://www.collarchat.com/m_3234821/tm.htm

30 fluffy points!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mQjuCQd01sg

(in reply to gamerPup)
Profile   Post #: 12
RE: Find it hard... - 9/19/2009 7:44:31 AM   
wandersalone


Posts: 4666
Joined: 11/21/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: gamerPup

quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyPact

quote:

ORIGINAL: gamerPup

True, but I have tried to find local munches and most of the time they are much further away than I could go to in a day. I don't know if I keep looking in the wrong place or what...

New Jersey is not that big of a state that it would take more than a day to get anywhere.


Well the only munches I ever can find info on are an hour or more of a drive and at night, and for someone who typically has to be at work early in the morning... not really a good thing for me



You are throwing up lots of excuses sweetie.  You have gone from saying it would take a day to get to a munch to it being an hour or so away.  Go to one for a couple of hours, drive home, set your alarm and go to work.  Trust me, it can be done.


_____________________________

Our lives begin to end the day we become silent about things that matter. Martin Luther King
Godmother of the subbie mafia
My all time favourite threads
http://www.collarchat.com/fb.asp?m=2002501
http://www.collarchat.com/fb.asp?m=790885

(in reply to gamerPup)
Profile   Post #: 13
RE: Find it hard... - 9/19/2009 7:48:48 AM   
LadyPact


Posts: 32566
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: gamerPup

Well the only munches I ever can find info on are an hour or more of a drive and at night, and for someone who typically has to be at work early in the morning... not really a good thing for me


No offense intended, but I get the feeling that you're more interested in making excuses rather than effort.  Most meet and greets are held at a reasonable hour.  Generally so folks can have dinner together or have coffee in the afternoon.  You may want to check the links that were provided to you and see for yourself.


_____________________________

The crowned Diva of Destruction. ~ ExT

Beach Ball Sized Lady Nuts. ~ TWD

Happily dating a new submissive. It's official. I've named him engie.

Please do not send me email here. Unless I know you, I will delete the email unread

(in reply to gamerPup)
Profile   Post #: 14
RE: Find it hard... - 9/19/2009 7:51:44 AM   
IWantYou


Posts: 22
Joined: 6/7/2004
From: Brampton, Ontario
Status: offline 		@ wandersalone... your last sentence is extremely true and well noted. We have many munches and play parties here in Southern Ontario and most within a hours drive which is great. If I go to events more than that then I just get a hotel/motel and stay over and usually with others who want to attend as well.

@gamerPup... seriously take note about what you've read and let go of the things you can't change. Search for other sites (no Alt is not one of them I refer to) or groups close to you or in your state, write someone and see if they can help but be nice about it. Sounding like you are whiny or pissed will gain you nothing.



_____________________________

Never say never

(in reply to gamerPup)
Profile   Post #: 15
RE: Find it hard... - 9/19/2009 8:07:53 AM   
gamerPup


Posts: 7
Joined: 9/8/2009
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyPact

quote:

ORIGINAL: gamerPup

Well the only munches I ever can find info on are an hour or more of a drive and at night, and for someone who typically has to be at work early in the morning... not really a good thing for me


No offense intended, but I get the feeling that you're more interested in making excuses rather than effort.  Most meet and greets are held at a reasonable hour.  Generally so folks can have dinner together or have coffee in the afternoon.  You may want to check the links that were provided to you and see for yourself.


I am actually looking at the links right now and everything.

(in reply to LadyPact)
Profile   Post #: 16
RE: Find it hard... - 9/19/2009 8:11:14 AM   
Acer49


Posts: 1434
Joined: 8/7/2009
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: gamerPup

For all it seems, after a more than a year I have personally met one person in real life who happened to be on this site. So far at least, and it didn't seem to go anywhere beyond a few days of getting along.

And so far it seems just impossible to find someone who isn't take who is interested in talking then seeing where that leads, or even just finding friends. It seems 2/3 people are fake and try to talk you into giving them money... Beyond that, it seems nearly impossible to find a person who is single and honestly trying to do anything: What I mean by that is they would be single but refuse to talk, not ever a hello or "not interested", just a cold shoulder.

Anything someone can advise? Just to note: I know I could find a pro-domme or someone like that, but that is not the way I would want to have my first experience...



Would you go to a Chinese place if you wanted steak? If your main interest is to find a girl friend that enjoys video games, then I suggest you find a site that is more geared towards that. The hard reality is that male youth is a not generally desired by many on this site. No to say that you are a bad person; you simply have not yet acquired the assets that many want. Your profile is not doing you any favors. Not that there is something wrong puppy play, it is something that will usually only garner limited interest in individuals who might otherwise be interested in you. Your comments about a "cute face" or any other reference to appearance are not thought kindly of; no matter how non judgmental you try to make them appear. I would suggest that you contact the individuals of a group called “TNG” These individuals are similar in age and who are also in the lifestyle. I think many of them also enjoy video games as well.

_____________________________

Never be bullied into silence. Never allow yourself to be made a victim. Accept no one's definition of your life; define yourself.
Harvey Fierstein

(in reply to gamerPup)
Profile   Post #: 17
RE: Find it hard... - 9/19/2009 9:19:47 AM   
mmsprecious


Posts: 84
Joined: 12/6/2006
Status: offline 		New Jersey, phila and ny have tons of kinky people...and different groups, munches, clubs...
Lots.
An hour isn't that far to travel for something that is important to you.
I don't do it regularly, but I've hit the club late on a work night...I work some weekends...at 6:30 or 7. But I enjoy what I do so its worth it to me.
also...it just may take time...and efffort to find what you desire.

His precious

(in reply to Acer49)
Profile   Post #: 18
RE: Find it hard... - 9/19/2009 9:31:54 AM   
DesFIP


Posts: 25191
Joined: 11/25/2007
From: Apple County NY
Status: offline 		He's 19, he may be borrowing his parent's car and they will want to know where he's going and when he'll be home. That puts a damper in anybody's plans.

I'm curious as to why you just don't date nice gamer girls and if it seems promising, tell them what you've told us. That you would like to explore sexually and kinky stuff with a woman you like. Talk to them about it.

Yes it is possible she will run out of the coffee shop screaming in terror but it is highly unlikely. You are most likely going to get told that she's not into this. At which point, okay, you remain friendly and wish each other better luck finding someone.

You might also explore where sometimes you're being done and sometimes you're doing it to her and find out that you like that too.

You don't have to restrict yourself to people with tons of experience when you have none. Find someone you like and get that experience together.

_____________________________

Slave to laundry

Cynical and proud of it!


(in reply to mmsprecious)
Profile   Post #: 19
RE: Find it hard... - 9/19/2009 12:06:04 PM   
Elipsis


Posts: 301
Joined: 7/8/2009
Status: offline 		The more requirements you have, the more difficult a time you're going to have.

Want someone into BDSM?  You're in the right place.

Want someone into BDSM and Video Games.  Ok, some subset of us here are into that.

Want someone into BDSM, Video Games, Jewish, Bike Riding, chess, table tennis, crochet, etc...   good luck.




Age difference aside I'm actually in the same place as the OP.  I'm a switch who very much enjoys video games and BDSM.  The thing is that you can't really set requirements that someone must be into the same things as you to be worth your time unless you are prepared to drastically cut your options down.

I also completely disagree with Acer49.  I see nothing wrong with saying you want someone that you're physically attracted to.  Physical attraction is... a thing... and to try to pretend that you have no preference is facetious.

(in reply to DesFIP)
Profile   Post #: 20
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