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Talking with Vanilla friends... - 9/14/2009 2:12:02 PM   
Jadiken


Posts: 60
Joined: 7/4/2009
Status: offline 		I know we all have vanilla friends that we can tell them that we are in a relationship, but we cant go into much detail with it. To them we are simply boyfriend and girlfriend or something along those lines. Not Master and slave... Have you ever been having a conversation with a vanilla friend nad they say something about you and your other half that just makes you laugh so hard and they have no idea why... ?
 
I just got done talking to my friend who knows I am in a relationship but doesnt know the extent of it simply because its better that way... but she just told me to " tell bf time to buck up n make it happen lol"   and that just totally made me laugh till it hurt... Right... I'll get right on telling Master what to do... right after I hand Him the flogger and pull my pants down... lol
 
Hope every one else at least gets a chuckle from this...
 
Jade
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RE: Talking with Vanilla friends... - 9/14/2009 2:40:50 PM   
Sunnyfey


Posts: 1436
Joined: 9/21/2007
From: OK
Status: offline 		Lol Jade thats great!!!

My vanilla friends tend to just smile and nod when they hear something wacky about my relationships,

Vfriend "Whats wrong your back hurt or something? Your walkin funny again"
Me: "Nope got my ass beat again last night, my butt is kind of tender"
Vfriend "Told you not to do that the night before work..."

. But then again, they think I'm bat shit crazy anyway :


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RE: Talking with Vanilla friends... - 9/14/2009 2:44:14 PM   
Jadiken


Posts: 60
Joined: 7/4/2009
Status: offline 		Oh Sunny! Thank you... yeah my friends think I'm pretty bat shit crazy too... Now whats really hard is trying to explain why I shaved my head... lol!!!

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RE: Talking with Vanilla friends... - 9/14/2009 4:15:15 PM   
leadership527


Posts: 5026
Joined: 6/2/2008
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Jadiken
Right... I'll get right on telling Master what to do... right after I hand Him the flogger and pull my pants down... lol [/size][/color]

*laughs* Yeah, that almost made me spit my black cherry soda all over kbd.

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I didn't so much "enslave" Carol as I did "enlove" her. - Me
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RE: Talking with Vanilla friends... - 9/14/2009 4:41:43 PM   
IrishMist


Posts: 7480
Joined: 11/17/2005
Status: offline 		Hmm, nope; sorry.

I don't have vanilla friends.
I don't have lifestyle friends.

I simply have friends. And those friends are very aware of what I like in a relationship.

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RE: Talking with Vanilla friends... - 9/14/2009 5:06:15 PM   
stella41b


Posts: 4258
Joined: 10/16/2007
From: SW London (UK)
Status: offline 		I'm like IrishMist. I live my life without compartments and I don't have friends so I can keep secrets from them and laugh at them behind their backs. But please don't let me stop you.. or let me spoil your fun.

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RE: Talking with Vanilla friends... - 9/14/2009 5:17:54 PM   
leadership527


Posts: 5026
Joined: 6/2/2008
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: stella41b
I'm like IrishMist. I live my life without compartments and I don't have friends so I can keep secrets from them and laugh at them behind their backs. But please don't let me stop you.. or let me spoil your fun.
Wow Stella... I think that's a little harsh. I happen to have a wide variety of people I am, in some way or another, intimate with. I don't feel compelled to share every detail of my life with all of them though... particularly the details that would only trouble them to no purpose. And yeah, sometimes they end up saying things which are funny because they don't know the whole picture. When I laugh, I'm not laughing at them. I'm laughing at the humor of the situation.


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I didn't so much "enslave" Carol as I did "enlove" her. - Me
I want a joyous, loving, respectful relationship where the male is in charge and deserves to be. - DavanKael

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RE: Talking with Vanilla friends... - 9/14/2009 5:25:06 PM   
stella41b


Posts: 4258
Joined: 10/16/2007
From: SW London (UK)
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: leadership527

quote:

ORIGINAL: stella41b
I'm like IrishMist. I live my life without compartments and I don't have friends so I can keep secrets from them and laugh at them behind their backs. But please don't let me stop you.. or let me spoil your fun.
Wow Stella... I think that's a little harsh. I happen to have a wide variety of people I am, in some way or another, intimate with. I don't feel compelled to share every detail of my life with all of them though... particularly the details that would only trouble them to no purpose. And yeah, sometimes they end up saying things which are funny because they don't know the whole picture. When I laugh, I'm not laughing at them. I'm laughing at the humor of the situation.



Okay. You have a point. First time round I read it differently. Mea culpa okay?

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RE: Talking with Vanilla friends... - 9/14/2009 5:25:10 PM   
Jadiken


Posts: 60
Joined: 7/4/2009
Status: offline 		Likewise, I have friends that just wouldnt understand, and I am not making an asumption, I tried telling them a little bit about my realtionship, but I realized that I cant, and would prefer not to lose them as a friend so if I have to keep it with the whole, "what they dont know wont hurt them" thing then so be it, they still love me and I still love them and thats the way it goes... Its kind of like your sexual orientation, you dont go around telling every one you mean your gay, or your straight, there are things we just dont need to tell every one.  And I wasnt laughing at my friend, I was just lauging at what she said and the mental image it created in my head if I had actually done what she suggested.
 
And Jeff, I wish you had spit your soda out... that would have made it all the more better! lol!

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RE: Talking with Vanilla friends... - 9/14/2009 7:45:57 PM   
DesFIP


Posts: 25191
Joined: 11/25/2007
From: Apple County NY
Status: offline 		I would think it rude for anyone to order me around in how I live my relationship. And I wouldn't share stuff that I know they wouldn;t understand. But I don't complain about him so my friends don't get the feeling they ought to offer advice. I get the feeling, OP, that you do.

It's rude to cut down your intimate partner, just because your friends like to criticize their partners does not mean you have to. So don't.

I let people see us together and make up their minds about what they see. And what they see are two people who love and respect each other and try to make each other happy. Which includes small things like saying goodbye to friends because he has errands to run. I just agree and bid my friends farewell.

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RE: Talking with Vanilla friends... - 9/14/2009 7:50:30 PM   
slavekal


Posts: 1486
Joined: 7/20/2004
Status: offline 		Sometimes I just have to be honest.  Someone will ask if we are faithful/exclusive to each other.  I tell them that I am, but she isn't.

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RE: Talking with Vanilla friends... - 9/14/2009 8:18:03 PM   
Jadiken


Posts: 60
Joined: 7/4/2009
Status: offline 		actually the comment was made because I am having car issues and it was suggested to me to ask my Master if he knew of a good mechanic that wouldnt dick me around just because I am a girl... I DO NOT complain about him to my friends or anyone... If I have a problem with something he is doing, I talk to him about it. No one else can fix the situation... I may vent a bit but every one does that and its more to get it out and off my chest then to actually "complain and whine." I DO NOT cut down my Master... i have absolutely no reason to.
Des, I dont know what exactly you might be trying to say, but if you are essentially telling me that I talk shit about my Master to my friends so they will give me advice on things they know nothing of... you are very wrong in thinking that... If I was going to talk shit about my Master, I wouldnt be with him because it obviously wasnt working...

This post was just to find some humor in life... not to analyze relationships... but whatever...

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RE: Talking with Vanilla friends... - 9/14/2009 8:28:23 PM   
littlewonder


Posts: 15659
Status: offline 		Can't say I've ever had this happen. I don't separate my friends into categories and I don't really talk about my sex life although my best friends know I like rough kinky sex. They dont need to know anything more than that and all my friends and family know I simply am attracted to take charge, leadership type of men. So basically, there's nothing to hide.

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RE: Talking with Vanilla friends... - 9/14/2009 8:49:53 PM   
DesFIP


Posts: 25191
Joined: 11/25/2007
From: Apple County NY
Status: offline 		If you hadn't been complaining, then why would she have said that you needed to tell him what to do?

Saying that you hope he knows a trustworthy mechanic would not have elicited that response.

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RE: Talking with Vanilla friends... - 9/14/2009 9:03:50 PM   
Jadiken


Posts: 60
Joined: 7/4/2009
Status: offline 		Des,  Please... you dont have the full context of the conversation I had with my friend, you dont know me, you dont know her, you dont know shit about anything surrounding the conversation except that she told me to tell him to buck up and get it done... It was said in a joking manner, and I took it as that and I found it amusing that though she knows some of what my realtionship with my Master is like, she doesnt know it all and therefore her telling me that i should tell him to buck up and get it done was very amusing in my eyes...

Please do not assume that which you do not fully understand. If I had the time and energy to waste changing each and ever screen name that was in the conversation I would and post it up here so you could see the exact context of what was said.

This posting was simply for amusement... To see the Irony in things... and I find it ironic that you are doing the same thing she did, only its not amusing when you do it... She does not understand the whole concept, so she says something that is the total opposite of my relationship, and its amusing. You on the other hand, say somethign when you know one sentence of said conversation and well, I wish it was as funny as what my friend said.

Now, if you dont mind, I would appreciate it if you wouldnt judge me, my relationship, or how I handle it.

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RE: Talking with Vanilla friends... - 9/15/2009 5:24:42 AM   
IrishMist


Posts: 7480
Joined: 11/17/2005
Status: offline
quote:

I have friends that just wouldnt understand, and I am not making an asumption, I tried telling them a little bit about my realtionship, but I realized that I cant, and would prefer not to lose them as a friend

No offense, but if you have friends that you would 'lose' if they knew the truth about you...they are not very good friends.

< Message edited by IrishMist -- 9/15/2009 5:25:38 AM >

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RE: Talking with Vanilla friends... - 9/15/2009 6:00:21 AM   
IronBear


Posts: 9008
Joined: 6/19/2005
From: Beenleigh, Qld, Australia
Status: offline 		The answer for me is to explain that a girl in my collar is a servant and my AdC. It raises the odd eyebrow when they realise that yes we do have servants but then the same folk raise an eyebrow when they hear me addressed as Reverent and someone explained that I am an ordained Pagan Priest. The biggest laugh I have is when because of our obvious age difference some folk assume wrongly that my wife is my daughter. I once when doing Christmas shopping with Neets and had several girls in tow. I was asked on several occasions that day who were the women with me, and not wanting to offend the good folk asking, I introduced Neets as my wife and the girls as my concubines before introducing them by name.  

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RE: Talking with Vanilla friends... - 9/15/2009 7:07:46 AM   
Mercnbeth


Posts: 11766
Status: offline
quote:

...I know we all have vanilla friends that we can tell them that we are in a relationship, but we cant go into much detail with it...

 
this slave doesn't have vanilla friends.  she has friends who enjoy conventional (vanilla) relationships with their partners.
 
they know we don't have a conventional (vanilla) relationship without having to go into any salacious, kinky details.
 
if they were apalled and disgusted by our relationship, we wouldn't be friends.

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RE: Talking with Vanilla friends... - 9/15/2009 8:33:32 AM   
allthatjaz


Posts: 2878
Joined: 8/20/2008
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: IrishMist

quote:

I have friends that just wouldnt understand, and I am not making an asumption, I tried telling them a little bit about my realtionship, but I realized that I cant, and would prefer not to lose them as a friend

No offense, but if you have friends that you would 'lose' if they knew the truth about you...they are not very good friends.


I don't agree. I once decided to confide in a person I considered my best friend. We had known each other for many, many years and we were open about everything. We were that close that we could sleep comfortably in each others arms, though we were never lovers.
When I eventually told her she disappeared out of my life like a bat out of hell. I deeply regretted confiding in her and wished I could turn back the clock. I desperately missed the close friendship we had and our sharing and keeping of secrets.
Years later our friendship was re-established and she told me the reason she was so shocked and frightened by my confession is because she had small children and her ignorance told her to keep herself and her little ones well away from me.
Sadly some people will severely judge us and form a very unfortunate opinion based on not understanding.

Another vanilla friend of my ex partner thought it was cool that we were into this but behind our backs he told the entire neighborhood because after all, it was a great bit of gossip.

I am very careful who I tell and I certainly don't tell my family. That doesn't make my family any less my family! It just means I protect them from having to form an opinion of me based on ignorance.

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RE: Talking with Vanilla friends... - 9/15/2009 8:35:36 AM   
IrishMist


Posts: 7480
Joined: 11/17/2005
Status: offline 		Sorry. But if your friend ran because she could not find it within herself to believe in YOU...she was not much of a friend.

Think what you wish; my stand does not change.

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