How to handle rejection (Full Version)

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Ladynslave -> How to handle rejection (9/2/2009 7:24:45 PM)

We recently received an email from a Dom that wanted only to be with me and let me do whatever I wished with Slave after.  The reply I sent back was that we were looking for different things and good luck in his search.  Little did I know that was going to start him on a rampage.  I admit, it was not my finest moment when after one huffy and one very abusive email later telling me how I missed out because he was so rich he was flying to London tonight and had a house on a Jackson Hole mountain top calling me such things as a loser, I shot back that his money did not make him any less repugnant and blocked him from ever contacting us again.

I guess my question was, is there any way I could have phrased my rejection differently in order not to have inspired such a reaction?  I know that not everyone takes rejection well, but I would like to know if something I said would inspire the same reaction in everyone I or we reject.

Lady



lusciouslips19 -> RE: How to handle rejection (9/2/2009 7:41:10 PM)

No. There are some that will not be gracious, they will tell you you "are ugly anyway" or play the  "you're fat" card. Block and delete. Hes a wanker. Move on.



DomImus -> RE: How to handle rejection (9/2/2009 7:42:17 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: Ladynslave
I guess my question was, is there any way I could have phrased my rejection differently in order not to have inspired such a reaction?


Anything is possible so I would say, yes... probably so.





happylittlepet -> RE: How to handle rejection (9/2/2009 8:07:17 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: Ladynslave

I guess my question was, is there any way I could have phrased my rejection differently in order not to have inspired such a reaction?  I know that not everyone takes rejection well, but I would like to know if something I said would inspire the same reaction in everyone I or we reject.

Lady



No, that would make you responsible for his response. And you are not, he is. His response says a lot about him, not you. Even if your 'no' was phrased in a way he didn't like, it's his choice to respond the way he did.



DarkSteven -> RE: How to handle rejection (9/2/2009 8:52:45 PM)

Who cares?

If he's capable of such a reaction, he's an idiot.  Worry about dealing with the sane people, not what you could have done to make an idiot happy.

And once you block him... start looking ahead, not behind.



GoddessImaginos -> RE: How to handle rejection (9/2/2009 8:59:07 PM)

Oh boy, let me tell you about the winner I had just yesterday! Gently scolded him for 1) not reading My profile, and 2) questioning Me about My stated age (which is correct). He proceeds to call Me names and say all kinds of unlovely things, and when I blocked him, he made another profile and called Me more names from that one. One of them was was even female (the profile, I mean) and they were from different countries, like that was supposed to confuse Me or something. Of course, I declined to respond to these, and after the fifth or sixth fake profile, he got bored and went away (WIN).  



littlesarbonn -> RE: How to handle rejection (9/2/2009 9:08:57 PM)

Some people just have a lot of growing up to do. Honestly, if I'm ever rejected, I go away and would see no reason to ever communicate with the person again. But people who get rejected, or dismissed, unfortunately don't always handle it the same way. And it doesn't matter what gender, or even whether one is dominant or submissive. People overreact in lots of different ways and can be very childish over some of the most ridiculous thnigs.



ShaharThorne -> RE: How to handle rejection (9/2/2009 9:15:46 PM)

I probably would of said that his maturity level is a turnoff and the mention of funds shows the level of intelligence as well (as if I am impressed by someone having 2 cents more than me).

Of course I would block and delete him as well. I am evil that way to doms who don't acknowledge switches having a mind of their own.



LilMichele -> RE: How to handle rejection (9/2/2009 9:35:38 PM)

Eh...just had someone give me a hard time about stating my weight, while his profile says he's 99.  Now I KNOW I'm telling the truth, perhaps he is, and if so that's great I hope that when I reach 99 I'm still trolling for...whatever...on the internet.  Something tells me he's a little younger, though.  I like what happylittlepet said about not being in control of his responses, and what Dark Steven said. You blocked him  you're looking forward. 

I have to go now, I'm hopping my private jet to France to visit Prince Harry, he likes the chubby girls, and after that I'm returning to my home in....um...some really nice place with lots of trees. 



Lockit -> RE: How to handle rejection (9/2/2009 10:20:15 PM)

The best thing to do is not worry about the sensitive one's because you can't stop them from trying to bash you. You block out their words and block them. I have been overly nice, nice, firm, polite, very firm and not so polite to down right putting my gutter mouth to work. It doesn't matter. They will do what they want. In rejection of them and what they want or not providing pictures or humiliation or whatever.

You get to the point where you laugh and move on. At first you can be sensitive about it... but it's not worth it. Wait till they find out you post on the message boards and come stalking you here! Now that is always fun! lol

Every once in a while we have threads you can vent on... as long as you don't name names and aren't whining, but really laughing at the omg, freaky people doing freaking things. When you see a thread.. what have you gotten in your email today... you know it's going to be a funny one!



Termyn8or -> RE: How to handle rejection (9/3/2009 7:58:17 AM)

FR

Let me translate for you :

You're fat - I am so vain you would grow to hate me in a few months like the last one.

You're ugly - We were never going to meet anyway because my pic is of my second cousin who is an athlete, I am really a fat old Man who only fantasises about this shit anyway.

You're missing out - I can't remember the last time I had sex.

I got money - This is the cheapest way for me to express my ignorance, can you spare five bucks for a pack of smokes ?

I'll be jetting off to _______ for vacation - I'll be making a new profile so I can needle you a bit for hurting my delicate ego, but as soon as I get up the money for that passport I'll be the catch of all time. Got any frequent flier miles ?

I'm free to go wherever, I am independently wealthy - I just lost my job at McD's and am about to get thrown out on the street.

I live in a big mansion - One room of it for $25 a week.
With a dungeon - I said I could fix plunbing and they asked me to look in the basement for a leak. I screwed up the wiring.
Overlooking a lake - It was about to be condemnned anyway.

I am extremely resourceful - Don't leave your purse or wallet in plain sight.

I have a big car - It doesn't run and I can't afford to fix it.

I don't come to you, you come to Me - I need to use your car to apply for welfare.

Now armed with this handy guide, you should be able to handle these minor annoyances more effectively. And some people wonder why they keep me around :-)

T



Aylee -> RE: How to handle rejection (9/3/2009 8:21:33 AM)

Nice Termy!  I loved it!



DiurnalVampire -> RE: How to handle rejection (9/3/2009 8:27:02 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: Ladynslave
The reply I sent back was that we were looking for different things and good luck in his search. 

I guess my question was, is there any way I could have phrased my rejection differently in order not to have inspired such a reaction? 

Lady


You cant get much more polite than "We are looking for different things." So, in all likelihood, he was going to be upset no matter what you said other than "sure, come on over." Dominants seem to occasionally have a bit of a problem with entitlement, thinking just because they ask they deserve to have their desires granted. I get offers alot from gentlemen like that, who want to help me expore a sub side with them, but who would allow me to keep Fox.

They get huffy even when I am polite. This type of thing is the reason a lot of people stop sending responses. No matter what you say, they are going to get nasty. My suggestion, dont worry about it. If you are saying no, then anything after that is useless correspondance. Dont worry about what it says, since it has no impact on you and yours. Delete it unread if you are concerned about it.

DV



allthatjaz -> RE: How to handle rejection (9/3/2009 8:29:15 AM)

The only weapon a person like this has is words.
You are possibly the first woman he's managed to get a conversation with for some time and he blew it! and so now he's thowing a few sticks and stones.
Ignore and laugh him off... He's a dick.



pahunkboy -> RE: How to handle rejection (9/3/2009 9:13:11 AM)

Money.  What does it buy?

Now if he said- I have my life savings in a stack of silver- THEN you would be missing something.

love can not be forced or imposed.   If I put a gun to your head and demand you to love me- it is real? 

No.   It is forced.   Forced love is-   well- hire an actress- 



IrishMist -> RE: How to handle rejection (9/3/2009 9:20:50 AM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: Termyn8or

FR

Let me translate for you :

You're fat - I am so vain you would grow to hate me in a few months like the last one.

You're ugly - We were never going to meet anyway because my pic is of my second cousin who is an athlete, I am really a fat old Man who only fantasises about this shit anyway.

You're missing out - I can't remember the last time I had sex.

I got money - This is the cheapest way for me to express my ignorance, can you spare five bucks for a pack of smokes ?

I'll be jetting off to _______ for vacation - I'll be making a new profile so I can needle you a bit for hurting my delicate ego, but as soon as I get up the money for that passport I'll be the catch of all time. Got any frequent flier miles ?

I'm free to go wherever, I am independently wealthy - I just lost my job at McD's and am about to get thrown out on the street.

I live in a big mansion - One room of it for $25 a week.
With a dungeon - I said I could fix plunbing and they asked me to look in the basement for a leak. I screwed up the wiring.
Overlooking a lake - It was about to be condemnned anyway.

I am extremely resourceful - Don't leave your purse or wallet in plain sight.

I have a big car - It doesn't run and I can't afford to fix it.

I don't come to you, you come to Me - I need to use your car to apply for welfare.

Now armed with this handy guide, you should be able to handle these minor annoyances more effectively. And some people wonder why they keep me around :-)

T

LMAO

*nods in agreement with everything said *



pahunkboy -> RE: How to handle rejection (9/3/2009 9:23:05 AM)

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5IHu8RSSCvE   Give me his phone number!!!

I have a message for him.



SirLost -> RE: How to handle rejection (9/3/2009 9:28:06 AM)

You have just done the kindest thing. Many people avoids sending a "Thanks but no thanks" reply in order not to lose their time and to prevent the probability of getting "u r a fucking bitch", "u missed me out lol" style reply. There's no time and need to be sensitive on insisting men, you can never make everyone happy.



SL4V3M4YB3 -> RE: How to handle rejection (9/3/2009 9:38:39 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: pahunkboy
Money. What does it buy?

Lots of things, security, freedom from the office, dual function electrical items, uncomfortable fast cars, comfortable slow cars, big houses with a separate bathroom for the pets.

But it don't buy class! Nouveau riche indeeed![8|]



mnottertail -> RE: How to handle rejection (9/3/2009 9:40:33 AM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: pahunkboy

Money. What does it buy?
Now if he said- I have my life savings in a stack of silver- THEN you would be missing something.

love can not be forced or imposed.   If I put a gun to your head and demand you to love me- it is real? 

No.   It is forced.   Forced love is-   well- hire an actress- 




Money can't buy you love, but it can buy a whole lotta shit that looks enough like it, that you needn't be concerned with the difference.

Ron



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