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RE: Is spanking a fetish anymore? - 8/30/2009 8:31:21 PM   
Driver406


Posts: 1
Joined: 6/24/2009
Status: offline 		why not?

(in reply to rednicky)
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RE: Is spanking a fetish anymore? - 8/30/2009 8:48:22 PM   
ElectraGlide


Posts: 1246
Joined: 11/25/2005
From: Maryland
Status: offline 		Spanking is a fetish that is a major gateway for new lifetylers. I liked to give spankings and that was about it, my slave liked getting spanked the most. We branched out from that and became lifestylers.

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(in reply to sexisubi)
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RE: Is spanking a fetish anymore? - 8/31/2009 12:12:04 AM   
DesFIP


Posts: 25191
Joined: 11/25/2007
From: Apple County NY
Status: offline 		If you need it in order to be aroused, then it's a fetish. If you simply enjoy it but can enjoy sex without it, then it isn't.

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Cynical and proud of it!


(in reply to sexisubi)
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RE: Is spanking a fetish anymore? - 8/31/2009 1:28:21 AM   
Acer49


Posts: 1434
Joined: 8/7/2009
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quote:

ORIGINAL: rednicky

I see it so much in mainstream. Hair pulling, too. It's common now so is it still classified as a fetish?


the term fetish has different meanings to different people I see everthing as simply as an activity that I enjoy

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(in reply to rednicky)
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RE: Is spanking a fetish anymore? - 8/31/2009 6:45:19 PM   
rednicky


Posts: 313
Joined: 1/14/2009
Status: offline 		Thanks for the answers. Yea Lily, I may have to visit your thread.

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RE: Is spanking a fetish anymore? - 9/6/2009 8:52:39 PM   
SouthernSpankin


Posts: 106
Joined: 7/13/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: rednicky

I see it so much in mainstream. Hair pulling, too. It's common now so is it still classified as a fetish?


As others pointed out, your use of the word "fetish" is confusing.

But, insofar as you are just asking how mainstream/common adult spanking is in our society...

How do you come to the conclusion that "I see it so much in mainstream"? Because I don't see adult spanking so much in mainstream at all. Don't get me wrong, I've come across two or three articles in mainstream magazines focusing on the topic of introducing the concept of adult spanking to spice up your sex life. Yeah, that was cool to see adult spanking being discussed in a mainstream magazine like that... but if I think of all the mainstream articles I've read on sexuality/romance/relationships, less than 1% percent referenced adult spanking in any way... which is evidence of how uncommon/non-mainstream spanking is in our culture.

Yeah, like DarkSteven and many others have done, you can list these movies and TV shows that reference some sort of adult spanking (I've even come across whole webpages devoted to this). But if you take every mainstream movie and TV show out there and take the percentage of those that reference adult spanking in some sort of way, it would be less than 1% percent... which is evidence of how non-mainstream/uncommon adult spanking is in our culture. Also, just because a movie or TV show references adult spanking in some way... that means nothing. There are many more movies and TV shows that reference killing people than there are movies and TV shows that reference adult spanking. Does that mean killing people is more acceptable in our culture than adult spanking is? Of course not.

In my experience with my fellow humans, adult spanking is not mainstream or common at all. I've discussed adult spanking with each of my girlfriends (starting at age 16) and many of my friends. And with the internet, I've been able to meet many fellow people into adult spanking. And from all of that experience, I've found that it is pretty rare that somebody is into adult spanking.

Also, I've been into BDSM in general just as long as I've been into spanking, and I've found that it is a lot more common to find people into BDSM than it is to find people into adult spanking. In fact, that's why I choose the name SouthernSpanking when I joined this website, because of all the BDSM people I've met not into adult spanking.



< Message edited by SouthernSpankin -- 9/6/2009 8:53:44 PM >

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RE: Is spanking a fetish anymore? - 9/6/2009 8:57:41 PM   
Aileen1968


Posts: 6062
Joined: 12/12/2007
From: I miss Shore, New Jersey
Status: offline 		I could care less what anyone else thinks of spanking.
I like it. It makes me wet and him hard.

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RE: Is spanking a fetish anymore? - 9/6/2009 9:02:34 PM   
SouthernSpankin


Posts: 106
Joined: 7/13/2006
Status: offline 		I forget to add:

1) Think about it. The idea of an adult being spanked like a child is very humiliating to most normal people. Just like how the terms "Daddy" and "Mommy" in D/s are bizarre to even some BDSM people... and just like how stuff like an adult that loves peeing in his/her diapers for you is bizarre to some BDSM people (myself included).

2) Even when it comes to spanking children, that is not even bona-fide mainstream or common in our culture. Go find a discussion thread like this on the topic of whether or not it is okay to spank your children, and you will find this huge debate very similar to the abortion issue.

< Message edited by SouthernSpankin -- 9/6/2009 9:04:16 PM >

(in reply to SouthernSpankin)
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RE: Is spanking a fetish anymore? - 9/6/2009 9:38:00 PM   
SouthernSpankin


Posts: 106
Joined: 7/13/2006
Status: offline
quote:



quote:

 A fetish is something that MUST be there in order for that person to get off. 


Agreed!  Simply enjoying something does not make it a fetish. 


quote:

ORIGINAL: DesFIP

If you need it in order to be aroused, then it's a fetish. If you simply enjoy it but can enjoy sex without it, then it isn't.


That's true with a very strict/narrow use of the word "fetish."

The more common use is "Something...that arouses sexual desire and may become necessary for sexual gratification."
http://www.answers.com/fetish

In other words, just because I have a spanking fetish doesn't mean I need spanking to get my dick hard or to have an orgasm... and I have a pretty serious spanking fetish.

From my understanding of the word "fetish," the important thing is that it is something that arouses sexual desire that normally doesn't arouse sexual desire for a human.


(in reply to DesFIP)
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RE: Is spanking a fetish anymore? - 9/6/2009 10:33:39 PM   
SouthernSpankin


Posts: 106
Joined: 7/13/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: GraciousLady

In general, main stream America thinks they are being a bit naughty when they talk about spankings but really don't do it.


Made me think that:

"in general, mainstream America is cool with, say, a mainstream magazine or TV show bringing up the topic of adult spanking... but that doesn't mean they themselves would be cool with that in a relationship with another person."

To use an analogy:
Mainstream America seems very cool with homosexuality in many ways (like in movies, TV, and magazine articles). But in other ways, mainstream American is not cool with homosexuality (the whole struggle homosexuals are having with getting legal marriage). Regardless of how cool Americans are with watching TV shows like Will and Grace, etc... 90%-98% or so percent of the US population is not cool with engaging in homosexual acts with another person themselves, even though they might be cool with the idea that others do so.

< Message edited by SouthernSpankin -- 9/6/2009 10:58:11 PM >

(in reply to GraciousLady)
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RE: Is spanking a fetish anymore? - 9/7/2009 9:07:57 AM   
Lucienne


Posts: 1175
Joined: 9/5/2009
Status: offline 		It's not just that many people find the idea of spanking humiliating, it's that many men can't get beyond thinking of it as "hitting a woman." I am painfully, personally aware of how difficult it can be to get a vanilla man to merely smack my ass during sex, forget deliver a proper spanking.

Hair pulling is an even dicier subject because I think it's a common natural impulse that gets conditioned out of guys by their partners who find it abusive. (E.g. that one jerk she dated in high school put his hand on her head during a blow job and pushed down, therefore all women everywhere find any sort of hair gripping humiliating.)

(in reply to SouthernSpankin)
Profile   Post #: 31
RE: Is spanking a fetish anymore? - 9/7/2009 9:21:30 PM   
abuddingdom


Posts: 158
Joined: 3/8/2007
Status: offline 		Aileeen1968 : "I could care less what anyone else thinks of spanking.
                       I like it. It makes me wet and him hard".

Took the words right out of my mouth. I wish I'd written that(with one small variation).

(in reply to Lucienne)
Profile   Post #: 32
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