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Is spanking a fetish anymore? - 8/30/2009 9:18:44 AM

rednicky

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I see it so much in mainstream. Hair pulling, too. It's common now so is it still classified as a fetish?

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RE: Is spanking a fetish anymore? - 8/30/2009 9:26:28 AM

DarkSteven

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I always thought of spanking as a kink rather than a fetish. Not that I have good definitions of either...

Spanking has been in mainstream media for a long time, partly because it was a way to include something sexy when nudity was off limits. So it was shown in I Love Lucy, McLintock, Blue Hawaii, etc., when sex would have caused censorship.

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RE: Is spanking a fetish anymore? - 8/30/2009 9:29:22 AM

MistressEllen444

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I would think that if it is the main reason to initiate play, then yes. If it is just a part of overall play, then no. But I would always defer to DarkSteven, he has the answers I would usually craft if I had the patience to read all the postings and not just give knee-jerk answers to questions.

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RE: Is spanking a fetish anymore? - 8/30/2009 9:31:24 AM

Aylee

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quote:

ORIGINAL: rednicky

I see it so much in mainstream. Hair pulling, too. It's common now so is it still classified as a fetish?

It would depend on the individual. A fetish is something that MUST be there in order for that person to get off.

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RE: Is spanking a fetish anymore? - 8/30/2009 10:47:12 AM

catize

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quote:

A fetish is something that MUST be there in order for that person to get off.

Agreed! Simply enjoying something does not make it a fetish.

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RE: Is spanking a fetish anymore? - 8/30/2009 10:48:07 AM

angelikaJ

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quote:

ORIGINAL: Aylee

quote:

ORIGINAL: rednicky

I see it so much in mainstream. Hair pulling, too. It's common now so is it still classified as a fetish?

It would depend on the individual. A fetish is something that MUST be there in order for that person to get off.

That is the understanding I had too although I think the distinction kind of gets blurred on other fetish/kink sites.

I am wondering what the OP's definition is?
Is it that spanking used to seem more taboo and now it is mainstream?
If so, then spanking comes and goes in it's acceptability.

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RE: Is spanking a fetish anymore? - 8/30/2009 12:02:35 PM

Sunnyfey

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I list spanking as a kink of mine. Infact I've even done videos for one of those spanking websites :D

It's simple, you can do it (almost) anywhere, and it can be painful as hell, or very sensual. I LOVE spankings!!

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RE: Is spanking a fetish anymore? - 8/30/2009 12:18:41 PM

LillyoftheVally

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Everyone has mentioned the distinction between fet and kink, I would say that I see what you are saying that it has become more main stream. as you say and hair pulling and bondage and biting and scratching...hell maybe we aint so unique as we think we are.

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RE: Is spanking a fetish anymore? - 8/30/2009 12:45:02 PM

Lostkitten3

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In the 50's it was very acceptable to spank you wife. Think of I Love Lucy. Ricki spanked her a few times. <-- my knee jerk reaction before reading DarkSteven. oops!

Anyway, it always turns me on, except that one time my step Uncle walloped me really hard after saying hello. I thought it was very inappropriate, but did not give him the benefit of a reaction. Perhaps I just have a very spankable ass? Honestly, at a play party anyone that wanted to swat my ass, I would smile and thank them, provided they weren't trying to hurt me too much. FRiendly spanks are always welcome. A fine "how do you do?" So they are more normal for me, but I am kinky, so does that make them kinky? I think so.

I think there are simply a lot of vanilla people who play some kinky games.

< Message edited by Lostkitten3 -- 8/30/2009 12:50:00 PM >

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RE: Is spanking a fetish anymore? - 8/30/2009 12:59:14 PM

LillyoftheVally

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quote:

ORIGINAL: Lostkitten3
I think there are simply a lot of vanilla people who play some kinky games.

And lines like this makes me wonder what vanilla means

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RE: Is spanking a fetish anymore? - 8/30/2009 1:09:28 PM

SomethingCatchy

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quote:

ORIGINAL: LillyoftheVally

quote:

ORIGINAL: Lostkitten3
I think there are simply a lot of vanilla people who play some kinky games.

And lines like this makes me wonder what vanilla means

Vanilla is a term used by self defined kinksters to define the different interests people have. At least that's what vanilla means to me.

I've seen profiles where people call themselves 'extreme' and say certain things (things that I find kinky) are too vanilla for them. Does that make me vanilla?

I describe someone who plays at light bondage in the bedroom as kinky, but vanilla because that's all the kink they involve themselves in. They might think they're very kinky though!

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RE: Is spanking a fetish anymore? - 8/30/2009 1:11:57 PM

GraciousLady

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In general, main stream America thinks they are being a bit naughty when they talk about spankings but really don't do it. I guess some do enjoy it without kowing what it's about but generally, I think it's just us.

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RE: Is spanking a fetish anymore? - 8/30/2009 1:16:30 PM

CaringandReal

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Yes, it's still a fetish. For some people it's the only bdsm activitiy they like to engage in. Spanking fetishists have their special clubs and groups and niche porn, and do not usually mix with other types of bdsm people or appreciate other forms of play. Often there are school scenes, uncle-neice or aunt-nephew scenes or other age play involved in what they do. Search terms like "over the knee," "corporal punishment," "bare-bottomed," "hairbrush," even "domestic discipline" combined with "spanking" turn up spanking fetishists. Some groups tolerate the caners as "close enough for folk music;" some do not, but paddles and hairbrushes are almost universally accepted as a good occsaional substitute for a hand.

"Shadow Lane" is one of the early pioneers of spanking fetishism on the web and they're still going strong. They are a California-based social organization which holds parties for its members and also produces a lot of porn for those with this specific fetish.

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RE: Is spanking a fetish anymore? - 8/30/2009 1:24:05 PM

Sunnyfey

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quote:

ORIGINAL: CaringandReal

Yes, it's still a fetish. For some people it's the only bdsm activitiy they like to engage in. Spanking fetishists have their special clubs and groups and niche porn, and do not usually mix with other types of bdsm people or appreciate other forms of play. Often there are school scenes, uncle-neice or aunt-nephew scenes or other age play involved in what they do. Search terms like "over the knee," "corporal punishment," "bare-bottomed," "hairbrush," even "domestic discipline" combined with "spanking" turn up spanking fetishists. Some groups tolerate the caners as "close enough for folk music;" some do not, but paddles and hairbrushes are almost universally accepted as a good occsaional substitute for a hand.

"Shadow Lane" is one of the early pioneers of spanking fetishism on the web and they're still going strong. They are a California-based social organization which holds parties for its members and also produces a lot of porn for those with this specific fetish.

And they get so into it as to be vary particular about what kind of panties are worn, and not liking visible tattoos on or around the ass.

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RE: Is spanking a fetish anymore? - 8/30/2009 2:02:07 PM

LillyoftheVally

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quote:

ORIGINAL: GraciousLady

In general, main stream America thinks they are being a bit naughty when they talk about spankings but really don't do it. I guess some do enjoy it without kowing what it's about but generally, I think it's just us.

Well in main stream UK most do it, just dont talk about it

And something Catchy, I think its often just an elitist term, especially in this context. We are 'proper' BDSMers you are just 'kinky nilla' or whatever.

< Message edited by LillyoftheVally -- 8/30/2009 2:03:45 PM >

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RE: Is spanking a fetish anymore? - 8/30/2009 2:47:45 PM

Lostkitten3

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MOst of my vanilla friends are into spanking. THey don't talk about it much, but imply in conversation that it is normal in their bedroom. Mostly those that quote Monty Python and the Holy Grail "A spanking a spanking!"

And a few of them are into tying one another up. Maybe all my friends are freaks, but it seems to me most people are freaky one way or another.

Some people have to have spanking. SOme of us just greatly prefer it. Some find it arousing.

I think anything beyond missionary sex should be considered kinky.

ANd I think Kinksters should allow that being kinky is becoming more mainstream, and that this is a good thing. SOrry if you got off on the naughtiness of it, you are welcome to turn a blind eye and pretend you are the only one that does it.

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RE: Is spanking a fetish anymore? - 8/30/2009 2:54:00 PM

DavanKael

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*Doing a happy dance that some people have pointed out the proper use of the term fetish*
As to spaking being a kink, so some it is. (Same thing applies to hair pulling which you also referenced).
Why do you ask?
Davan

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RE: Is spanking a fetish anymore? - 8/30/2009 2:56:30 PM

LillyoftheVally

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quote:

ORIGINAL: Lostkitten3

MOst of my vanilla friends are into spanking. THey don't talk about it much, but imply in conversation that it is normal in their bedroom. Mostly those that quote Monty Python and the Holy Grail "A spanking a spanking!"

...

ANd I think Kinksters should allow that being kinky is becoming more mainstream, and that this is a good thing. SOrry if you got off on the naughtiness of it, you are welcome to turn a blind eye and pretend you are the only one that does it.

But you have distinguished between it, by calling them vanilla your implication is that what you do is somehow different, therefore what you do isn't mainstream you have a special monopoly on it, actually I am totally derailing this, I may make another thread.

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RE: Is spanking a fetish anymore? - 8/30/2009 3:17:28 PM

MsFlutter

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quote:

ORIGINAL: DarkSteven

I always thought of spanking as a kink rather than a fetish. Not that I have good definitions of either...

kink v fetish

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RE: Is spanking a fetish anymore? - 8/30/2009 4:34:39 PM

sexisubi

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i dont know, but i also dont know any vanilla relationship i have had to spank me hard enough or for long enough.

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