quote:

ORIGINAL: porcelaine

most recently i've been mulling over this issue and would appreciate insight from others. at present i'm converting to Conservative Judaism which entails one year of study and the exploration and eventual adoption of different lifestyle and belief system. which i'm completely comfortable with. however, i'm curious to learn how those that have made similar changes in their lives have adapted on the relationship end.

do you find differences in your choice of mate, seek others of a similar vain, or leave things up in the air and allow the cards to fall as they may? lastly, for those that have encountered conflicts between the two, what did you do? i look forward to your response and thank you in advance.

porcelaine

quote:

ORIGINAL: NormalOutside

I consider myself extremely open minded and accepting, but I never get involved with anyone who believes in supernatural beings, deities, spirits, magic, gods, demons, and so forth. I find that anyone trapped inside their fixed false beliefs to be difficult to connect with. A girl who is brainwashed by religion is of no use to me.

quote:

ORIGINAL: DavanKael

Hmmmm, interesting query.  It really depends on your own expectations as well as the tolerance of a potential mate. 
In a poly situation my ex- and I were involved in, the other couple was Jewish.  I learned to pray in Hebrew because their 5 year old wished me to (It upset him that I did not pray at Shabbat dinner and while I explained that I am not Jewish, learning and showing that respect for the happiness of a little one was fine by me).  My ex-, a rabid atheist, surprised me by reading out of the Haggada <spelling> at Passover one year to please the female.  The male and I had fabulous debates as I read all 613 laws and other religiously relevant texts; I found his selective application of his beliefs annoying often, lol!  I'm pretty live and let live but Judaism is one of those faiths where there is generally a strong emphasis on making babies within the faith and that's where I drew a very strong line.  Had progeny of which I was the biological mother been an issue, I was absolutely clear that anyone trying to come near a child that I birthed with something with which to mutilate said child's genitals was goin' down, covenant with God or no.  I would be willing to raise a child of mine with exposure to lots of different beliefs but body modification isn't something I would allow until said child was old enough to make the decision to modify its own body. 
Davan

quote:

ORIGINAL: Sunnyfey

We both share the same sort of nihilistic views on life...does that count?

quote:

ORIGINAL: MissJanice2

You are who you are.  You cannot change that. 
I am pentecostal by faith.  For  years I struggled with finding the perfect spiritual mate. 
I thought I did.  He turned out to be the biggest mistake I ever made.
Balance of lifestyle/faith is a very complicated thing.  You have to learn to find your center on that issue.  By that I mean that you have to set limits and boundaries on what you will do and what the higher power will allow you to do.
No matter what the religion is, the spirituality part of it is in our heart.   Your heart will determine your choices.  

Respectfully,

Mistress_Jan

quote:

ORIGINAL: NormalOutside

I consider myself extremely open minded and accepting, but I never get involved with anyone who believes in supernatural beings, deities, spirits, magic, gods, demons, and so forth. I find that anyone trapped inside their fixed false beliefs to be difficult to connect with. A girl who is brainwashed by religion is of no use to me.

quote:

ORIGINAL: NormalOutside

I consider myself extremely open minded and accepting, but I never get involved with anyone who believes in supernatural beings, deities, spirits, magic, gods, demons, and so forth. I find that anyone trapped inside their fixed false beliefs to be difficult to connect with. A girl who is brainwashed by religion is of no use to me.

quote:

ORIGINAL: porcelaine

quote:

ORIGINAL: DavanKael

Hmmmm, interesting query.  It really depends on your own expectations as well as the tolerance of a potential mate. 
In a poly situation my ex- and I were involved in, the other couple was Jewish.  I learned to pray in Hebrew because their 5 year old wished me to (It upset him that I did not pray at Shabbat dinner and while I explained that I am not Jewish, learning and showing that respect for the happiness of a little one was fine by me).  My ex-, a rabid atheist, surprised me by reading out of the Haggada <spelling> at Passover one year to please the female.  The male and I had fabulous debates as I read all 613 laws and other religiously relevant texts; I found his selective application of his beliefs annoying often, lol!  I'm pretty live and let live but Judaism is one of those faiths where there is generally a strong emphasis on making babies within the faith and that's where I drew a very strong line.  Had progeny of which I was the biological mother been an issue, I was absolutely clear that anyone trying to come near a child that I birthed with something with which to mutilate said child's genitals was goin' down, covenant with God or no.  I would be willing to raise a child of mine with exposure to lots of different beliefs but body modification isn't something I would allow until said child was old enough to make the decision to modify its own body. 
Davan

i agree and that is really crux of all of it. meeting someone in the lifestyle has its own set of challenges as we've all expounded here and elsewhere in the past. finding an observant Jew on top of those things creates a neat little conundrum. the question was posed because i understand many place great importance on their faith and i was curious to see how things of this nature are and have been addressed.

for the record i think your opinions are fair and justified. your willingness to share in the culture and expose yourself to different belief systems and consider the feelings for the other parties involved is admirable. at the very least you came away learning something you may have been unaware of at the onset. thanks for sharing.

porcelaine

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ORIGINAL: porcelaine

quote:

ORIGINAL: Sunnyfey

We both share the same sort of nihilistic views on life...does that count?

yes of course! because even there you both are on the same page. perhaps it would be less satisfying if your partner felt differently? or maybe that would make for some nice discussions.

quote:

ORIGINAL: porcelaine

most recently i've been mulling over this issue and would appreciate insight from others. at present i'm converting to Conservative Judaism which entails one year of study and the exploration and eventual adoption of different lifestyle and belief system. which i'm completely comfortable with. however, i'm curious to learn how those that have made similar changes in their lives have adapted on the relationship end.

do you find differences in your choice of mate, seek others of a similar vain, or leave things up in the air and allow the cards to fall as they may? lastly, for those that have encountered conflicts between the two, what did you do? i look forward to your response and thank you in advance.

porcelaine