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Newbie Questions for Mistresses - 8/21/2009 1:32:00 AM   
shadowpleasure


Posts: 10
Joined: 8/18/2009
Status: offline 		Hello. I'm very new to this world, but very excited by every detail I've read about it. I was wondering if I could respectfully ask some questions to the experienced mistresses out there.

What are good and appropriate ways a sub can meet or even request someone to be his dom? What are good qualities a sub should strive to achieve, and what qualities are attractive to most doms? How did you meet your sub/s?

I'm looking forward to reading my mail, and I deeply appreciate your time in helping this bondage virgin.
Profile   Post #: 1
RE: Newbie Questions for Mistresses - 8/21/2009 2:11:21 AM   
LillyoftheVally


Posts: 1826
Joined: 7/22/2009
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: shadowpleasure

What are good and appropriate ways a sub can meet or even request someone to be his dom?


In regard to the first, local munches/groups/events. Forming bonds online. In regard to the second, how does one ask a girl to be his girlfriend?

quote:


What are good qualities a sub should strive to achieve, and what qualities are attractive to most doms? How did you meet your sub/s?


What good qualities should a partner strive to achieve? What qualities are attractive to most people? Please if you do one thing, maintain your grasp of reality, being involved in wiitwd does not mitigate everything you have learned before. Compatibility is still important, no two dominants are the same. Be yourself, and look for someone who looks for what you are.


_____________________________

'My doctor says that I have a malformed public-duty gland and a natural deficiency in moral fibre, and that I am therefore excused from saving Universes.'

Nah I am not happy to see you either

(in reply to shadowpleasure)
Profile   Post #: 2
RE: Newbie Questions for Mistresses - 8/21/2009 4:06:12 AM   
DarkSteven


Posts: 28072
Joined: 5/2/2008
Status: offline 		OP, there are two different things you can get, and I'm not sure which you want.  You can get either occasional bondage and floggings, etc., or you can get a full blown D/s relationship.

If you want the former, go to munches and play parties and play.

If you want the latter, munches and play parties are still good meeting places, but you're looking for something different.  You'll be getting a full relationship with a women and all that entails, and you'll get the D/s as a side dish, not the main course.


_____________________________

"You women....

The small-breasted ones want larger breasts. The large-breasted ones want smaller ones. The straight-haired ones curl their hair, and the curly-haired ones straighten theirs...

Quit fretting. We men love you."

(in reply to LillyoftheVally)
Profile   Post #: 3
RE: Newbie Questions for Mistresses - 8/21/2009 4:07:50 AM   
LillyoftheVally


Posts: 1826
Joined: 7/22/2009
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: DarkSteven
If you want the latter, munches and play parties are still good meeting places, but you're looking for something different. You'll be getting a full relationship with a women and all that entails, and you'll get the D/s as a side dish, not the main course.



I met two of the most influential people in my D/s life at a fetish event.


_____________________________

'My doctor says that I have a malformed public-duty gland and a natural deficiency in moral fibre, and that I am therefore excused from saving Universes.'

Nah I am not happy to see you either

(in reply to DarkSteven)
Profile   Post #: 4
RE: Newbie Questions for Mistresses - 8/21/2009 4:13:59 AM   
DarkSteven


Posts: 28072
Joined: 5/2/2008
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: LillyoftheVally


quote:

ORIGINAL: DarkSteven
If you want the latter, munches and play parties are still good meeting places, but you're looking for something different. You'll be getting a full relationship with a women and all that entails, and you'll get the D/s as a side dish, not the main course.



I met two of the most influential people in my D/s life at a fetish event.



LOV, thanks for pointing out that I didn't express myself well.

I MEANT to say that OP would be looking for a LTR at essentially, a party.  Munches and play parties are great places to meet people, whether for play or LTRs or for that matter friendships.  The only thing is that he may be looking for things that most attendees may not be looking for.  But as you state, people can and do form LTRs with people from the parties.


_____________________________

"You women....

The small-breasted ones want larger breasts. The large-breasted ones want smaller ones. The straight-haired ones curl their hair, and the curly-haired ones straighten theirs...

Quit fretting. We men love you."

(in reply to LillyoftheVally)
Profile   Post #: 5
RE: Newbie Questions for Mistresses - 8/21/2009 6:00:56 AM   
fadedshadow


Posts: 751
Joined: 4/27/2009
From: a place
Status: offline 		i'm not really experienced myself but i think being yourself is pretty important

_____________________________

your living nightmare

(in reply to DarkSteven)
Profile   Post #: 6
RE: Newbie Questions for Mistresses - 8/21/2009 6:04:08 AM   
MsStarlett


Posts: 1879
Joined: 12/23/2007
Status: offline 		I keep telling every single sub that approaches me "Just talk to me like a human being."  Doesn't appear that men know how to do that.

_____________________________

It is by caffeine alone I set my mind in motion.
It is by the beans of Java that thoughts acquire speed,
the hands acquire shakes, the shakes become a warning,
It is by caffeine alone I set my mind in motion.

(in reply to fadedshadow)
Profile   Post #: 7
RE: Newbie Questions for Mistresses - 8/21/2009 6:12:44 AM   
fadedshadow


Posts: 751
Joined: 4/27/2009
From: a place
Status: offline 		good morning, MsStarlett =]

_____________________________

your living nightmare

(in reply to MsStarlett)
Profile   Post #: 8
RE: Newbie Questions for Mistresses - 8/21/2009 6:16:33 AM   
openmindedslave


Posts: 470
Joined: 2/27/2005
Status: offline 		Here are a few things you should not do ..

1. Do not let your first email say ONLY
WOW
YOUR PRETTY
DO YOU NEED YOUR TOES SUCKED
I AM FROM ANOTHER COUNTRY AND I WILL PAY FOR YOU TO COME HERE
I LIKE TO (_________)
MY MOTHER AND FATHER DIED AND I HAVE BEEN LIVING WITH AN EVIL FAMILY.
I AM A PRINCE IN AFRICA AND IF YOU WILL HELP ME  TO GET MY $15, MILLION  OUT OF MY COUNTRY ,I WILL GIVE YOU HALF.

and don't write emails in capital letters also

(in reply to MsStarlett)
Profile   Post #: 9
RE: Newbie Questions for Mistresses - 8/21/2009 6:18:18 AM   
fadedshadow


Posts: 751
Joined: 4/27/2009
From: a place
Status: offline 		lol nice

_____________________________

your living nightmare

(in reply to openmindedslave)
Profile   Post #: 10
RE: Newbie Questions for Mistresses - 8/21/2009 6:30:07 AM   
openmindedslave


Posts: 470
Joined: 2/27/2005
Status: offline 		Actually , as corney as it may sound just be yourself. If someone writes something in a journal entry you find amusing ,comment on it .If something intrigues you about a profile , ask them a question .Show your brain is in the head above your shoulders. Remember if your trying to be someone your not from the begining , then your  set up to fail once they discover your not who they though you were..
Not all , but many on here are real people who just want to find their little piece of happiness.Many have kids , jobs , family , and events in their lives like you do  Rarely will  you ever find anyone living 24/7 in a dugeon or strutting around in thigh high boots waiting by their computer for the next sub to present themselves to them. Just have reasonable expectations. Be honest about who you are and what your seeking . Do not turned away or feel less successful if some people are not into you. But as a Sub/Slave , you probably will have to make the first  move to get a Ladies attention . So just don't sound like every one else ,,Some ladies get  more than a doz offers a day and with so many they just don't have time to go and look at every profile to see what they have to offer. They judge many by what you say the first time . So be considered. Don't give them a  laundry list  of what YOU wany them to do for you. Don't send the same form letter over and over again. Read the proile to see if there is something there that really interest you . Read the profiles also of the ones who don't have pictures .There are some great people who just don't want their picture out here.  And most of all don't rush it ..take some time  to find those out here

Good luck

(in reply to openmindedslave)
Profile   Post #: 11
RE: Newbie Questions for Mistresses - 8/21/2009 6:38:45 AM   
fadedshadow


Posts: 751
Joined: 4/27/2009
From: a place
Status: offline 		i agree

_____________________________

your living nightmare

(in reply to openmindedslave)
Profile   Post #: 12
RE: Newbie Questions for Mistresses - 8/21/2009 10:18:47 AM   
LdyyR


Posts: 160
Joined: 11/21/2008
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: MsStarlett

I keep telling every single sub that approaches me "Just talk to me like a human being."  Doesn't appear that men know how to do that.



Its been my experience as well, and it seems mostly to be because they want the fantasy, they don't want to deal with a person with real human emotions. If you want more that anything outside of just some play than you aren't really a Domme, you are just looking for a boyfriend according to them. I don't believe it will change at least not on the net. We've been telling these gents for years, and most right here on CM, what we want and still they ask the same questions and repeat the same behaviors time and time again. Though there are a few newer males around of late that seem to be getting the message.

_____________________________

Rosa

(in reply to MsStarlett)
Profile   Post #: 13
RE: Newbie Questions for Mistresses - 8/24/2009 2:42:25 PM   
MsVengeange


Posts: 63
Joined: 5/2/2008
From: Orange County, NY
Status: offline 		As a Mistress, I believe that all should first ask the questions least asked. Sometimes only one can truly know and understand what a slave truly desires if they ask the right questions. If one asks ony the wrong questions, then a slave will never find the "right" Mistress or Master who can and will fulfill their dreams and fantasies.

(in reply to LdyyR)
Profile   Post #: 14
RE: Newbie Questions for Mistresses - 8/25/2009 4:30:00 AM   
MsStarlett


Posts: 1879
Joined: 12/23/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: LdyyR
We've been telling these gents for years, and most right here on CM, what we want and still they ask the same questions and repeat the same behaviors time and time again. Though there are a few newer males around of late that seem to be getting the message.


So true, so true.  At least some of these younger, newer ones, like Faded, Pyro and possibly this new Shadow appear to be eager to learn the correct way to treat a Lady. 

Of course, my father was a proper Southern Gentleman and spent much of our time teaching me how a gentleman SHOULD treat a lady and how she should respond.  He also taught me that if my date didn't know the 'rules' then I should force him to comply via 'passive aggression'.    If a young man doesn't know to open the door for me, then just stand there until he does, or sit in the car until he figures it out that he should help a lady out.  If a man does not know that he should walk on the street side of a lady, then firmly switch sides.  That sort of thing.  My dear father was teaching me to be a lady, little did he know that he was also teaching me to train subs. 


_____________________________

It is by caffeine alone I set my mind in motion.
It is by the beans of Java that thoughts acquire speed,
the hands acquire shakes, the shakes become a warning,
It is by caffeine alone I set my mind in motion.

(in reply to LdyyR)
Profile   Post #: 15
RE: Newbie Questions for Mistresses - 8/25/2009 4:31:21 AM   
MsStarlett


Posts: 1879
Joined: 12/23/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: fadedshadow

good morning, MsStarlett =]


And good morning to you also, Faded.  You know, you are allowed to respond to my Cmail, or to just drop me a line... as long as you do not included photos of your penis.


_____________________________

It is by caffeine alone I set my mind in motion.
It is by the beans of Java that thoughts acquire speed,
the hands acquire shakes, the shakes become a warning,
It is by caffeine alone I set my mind in motion.

(in reply to fadedshadow)
Profile   Post #: 16
RE: Newbie Questions for Mistresses - 8/25/2009 4:39:27 AM   
SweetNika


Posts: 955
Joined: 4/19/2008
From: Forest Hills, Maryland
Status: offline 		First and foremost be yourself, don't try and portray someone or something your not. Then approach a dom/me like you would approach anyone, they are human beings before they are that label. The d/s relationship is still a relationship and takes the basic dynmaics as a vanilla one the specific expectations however, vary from person to person.

_____________________________

Blessed be,
Nika


(in reply to shadowpleasure)
Profile   Post #: 17
RE: Newbie Questions for Mistresses - 8/26/2009 12:12:45 PM   
cal1951


Posts: 6
Joined: 11/23/2007
Status: offline 		greetings to A/all may i ask where this ones g/f can go to learn and help Her be a Domme. She does have it in Her to be Domme but She is alittle hesitent about things. She does want to learn as i do also. t/y cal

(in reply to SweetNika)
Profile   Post #: 18
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