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Domme & Mistress - 8/20/2009 9:39:21 AM

fadedshadow

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okay so i've been pondering this for a little while. are they pretty much the same thing or are there key differences?

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RE: Domme & Mistress - 8/20/2009 10:29:59 AM

LadyPact

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Oh, hon. There have been a ton of threads on this debate. This is one that I generally lose because I have some very strong opinions on the subject.

Yes, I happen to think there is a difference. It's one thing to have a dominant personality and another to translate that into a successful M/s dynamic. I also happen to align with the leather culture, which means I find there to be a difference between a D/s and a M/s dynamic. (More control and responsibility on the M side and level of authority transferred by the s side.) In My personal opinion, though not everyone agrees with Me, there is also a certain proficiency in topping skills that go along with this.

While My answer to this particular question doesn't work for a lot of folks, it works for Me.

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RE: Domme & Mistress - 8/20/2009 11:14:42 AM

LordDarkPleasure

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I pretty much agree with LadyPact on the general definition of these 2 terms. However, it is also my opinion that there is way too much categorization being done in BDSM and it has a pernicious effect. For example, the moment you differentiate Mistress and Domme, people will instantly wonder which one is better.

I believe a minority of people would actually be perfectly comfortable with being labeled one way or another without feeling the need to clarify a few thing.

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RE: Domme & Mistress - 8/20/2009 11:25:00 AM

IronBear

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I am in complete agreement with LadyPact which is not unusual. She and I tend to have either the same view or similar ones on such matters.

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RE: Domme & Mistress - 8/20/2009 12:43:51 PM

stella41b

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Who am I to disagree with two of the wisest posters on these boards?

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RE: Domme & Mistress - 8/20/2009 3:17:12 PM

LaTigresse

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That is what I was thinking also Stella...

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RE: Domme & Mistress - 8/20/2009 4:06:54 PM

LordDarkPleasure

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Funny how a topic can be very controversial, or have everyone share the same opinion depending who answers it first. I think some of you guys are too renowned, you prevent actual debates to occur :P

I'd like to know how people actually disagree with LadyPact on the subject though, considering I always had the view she described in her post.

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RE: Domme & Mistress - 8/20/2009 4:14:17 PM

littlewonder

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My opinion is the same as how I feel about a Dom/Dominant/Master

Dom/Domme=a person who defines him/herself within a bdsm "lifestyle" context

A dominant/dominant personality=a person who does not need to define themselves within the bdsm "lifestyle" because being dominant is part of their personality. They are leaders in life, they take control, they are the ones that everyone turns to.

Master/Mistress=the label given to a person who owns a slave.

YMMV

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RE: Domme & Mistress - 8/20/2009 4:17:45 PM

MsFlutter

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quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyPact

Oh, hon. There have been a ton of threads on this debate. This is one that I generally lose because I have some very strong opinions on the subject.

Yes, I happen to think there is a difference. It's one thing to have a dominant personality and another to translate that into a successful M/s dynamic. I also happen to align with the leather culture, which means I find there to be a difference between a D/s and a M/s dynamic. (More control and responsibility on the M side and level of authority transferred by the s side.) In My personal opinion, though not everyone agrees with Me, there is also a certain proficiency in topping skills that go along with this.

While My answer to this particular question doesn't work for a lot of folks, it works for Me.

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RE: Domme & Mistress - 8/20/2009 4:26:46 PM

LATEXBABY64

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well yes there is but everyone is a mental health speacilist and they all have tons of degrees on bdsm cause it became popular in the 90s rofl heres the thing make it what ever you want it seems to be the trend of t hings gotta label make it politcal rofl

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RE: Domme & Mistress - 8/21/2009 2:17:52 AM

Imakemensquirm

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I tend to think that there is a difference, but I'm not on the same page as everyone else who thinks they are different. I think Mistress is more of a title or a role that you play during sessions. Domme on the other hand is what you are, a state of being.

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RE: Domme & Mistress - 8/21/2009 3:39:03 AM

Cloudz

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quote:

ORIGINAL: IronBear

I am in complete agreement with LadyPact which is not unusual. She and I tend to have either the same view or similar ones on such matters.

Miss you IB, been gone a while. Hope you and yours are well.

To the rest, sorry for the hijack. You will now be returned to your reguarly scheduled topic.

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RE: Domme & Mistress - 8/21/2009 5:48:54 AM

fadedshadow

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thanks everyone! =D

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RE: Domme & Mistress - 8/21/2009 2:32:21 PM

gentlemanprince

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Perhaps we should just chuck the terms? After all, it is hard enough to communicate even when you can agree on the meanings of terms. Personally, I like EAW, meaning Extremely Assertive Woman. Doesn't that capture the essence?

It won't work until someone can figure out how to pronouce EAW, but it's worth a try.

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RE: Domme & Mistress - 8/21/2009 2:35:16 PM

fadedshadow

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*shrugs*

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RE: Domme & Mistress - 8/21/2009 5:23:27 PM

Lockit

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quote:

ORIGINAL: gentlemanprince

Perhaps we should just chuck the terms? After all, it is hard enough to communicate even when you can agree on the meanings of terms. Personally, I like EAW, meaning Extremely Assertive Woman. Doesn't that capture the essence?

It won't work until someone can figure out how to pronouce EAW, but it's worth a try.

LOL Okay... I tried that one out in my head...

Something about a man saying my lady friend is a EAW... reminds me of a donkey! Not sure that will go over well. Maybe it was my southern drawl...

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RE: Domme & Mistress - 8/21/2009 10:23:31 PM

IronBear

Posts: 9008
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[THREAD HIJACK]

quote:

ORIGINAL: Cloudz

quote:

ORIGINAL: IronBear

I am in complete agreement with LadyPact which is not unusual. She and I tend to have either the same view or similar ones on such matters.

Miss you IB, been gone a while. Hope you and yours are well.

To the rest, sorry for the hijack. You will now be returned to your reguarly scheduled topic.

Missed you too Lovely Lady, io good to see you ack here again.

[/THREAD HIJACK]

Just my personal way of seeing things, keeping in mine that it is an inherent part of both my training , logic and personality/psyche to file things in labelled boxes in my mind.

Every Dominatrix and Mistress is a Dominatrix first. (Female Dominant)
A Mistress is usually the Female Dominant in a Mistress/slave dynamic or part of a lifestyle where all Female Dominants are addressed as Mistress by slaves in that Lifestyle.

and

Every Dominant and Master is a Dominant first (Male Dominant)
A Master is usually the Male Dominant in a Master/slave dynamic or part of a lifestyle where all Male Dominants are address as Master by slaves in that Lifestyle

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RE: Domme & Mistress - 8/21/2009 11:33:30 PM

gentlemanprince

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quote:

ORIGINAL: Lockit

quote:

ORIGINAL: gentlemanprince

Perhaps we should just chuck the terms? After all, it is hard enough to communicate even when you can agree on the meanings of terms. Personally, I like EAW, meaning Extremely Assertive Woman. Doesn't that capture the essence?

It won't work until someone can figure out how to pronouce EAW, but it's worth a try.

LOL Okay... I tried that one out in my head...

Something about a man saying my lady friend is a EAW... reminds me of a donkey! Not sure that will go over well. Maybe it was my southern drawl...

At least you tried.

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RE: Domme & Mistress - 8/21/2009 11:40:40 PM

AcademyForSlaves

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Everyone looks at titles differently. My opinion is a Domme would be a female who's dominant, but a Mistress lives the lifestyle (pro or nonpro) and trains, owns, or plays with subs. Domme just describes the Mistress as being dominant and female.

Hope this helps.

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RE: Domme & Mistress - 8/22/2009 8:17:17 AM

Andalusite

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A lot of women dislike "Mistress" because it is associated with cheating/the other woman. Personally, it reminds me of historical reenactments I've participated in, so I don't find it to be charged with any good kinky vibes, but it doesn't bother me. "Mistress, wilt thou hither with me to yonder privy?"