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RE: I hate to ask this - 8/10/2009 7:58:56 PM   
fadedshadow


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Joined: 4/27/2009
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quote:

ORIGINAL: LookieNoNookie


You're an idiot.




you're in agreement with me, whoo


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RE: I hate to ask this - 8/11/2009 1:22:08 AM   
Acer49


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quote:

ORIGINAL: fadedshadow

because it'll show how much of an idiot i am, but i need to know.

what is edge play?




No, the one who is the idiot is one who who would attempt to berate you for asking questions you wish answers for

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Profile   Post #: 22
RE: I hate to ask this - 8/11/2009 1:43:21 AM   
MstrPBK


Posts: 573
Joined: 1/2/2008
Status: offline 		Edge play has three possible meanings ....

1) Playing with knives and blades
2) Breath control/near snuff experience
3) or the control of ones orgasm

When your talking to some one who is talking about edge play it is best to ask "by what definition" they are talking about.

MstrPBK
St. Paul, MN USA

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Profile   Post #: 23
RE: I hate to ask this - 8/11/2009 1:50:55 AM   
Arpig


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quote:

Oh and listening to Celine Dion.
That has got to be pretty much a universal hard limit. 

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Profile   Post #: 24
RE: I hate to ask this - 8/11/2009 5:29:29 AM   
CaringandReal


Posts: 1397
Joined: 2/15/2008
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quote:

ORIGINAL: Arpig

quote:

Oh and listening to Celine Dion.
That has got to be pretty much a universal hard limit. 


ROFL!

During sexual play, I consider something that makes me terrified or confused or paranoid or even wondering what is real and what isn't to be edgeplay. Realistic interrogation scenes fall into that category, as do a lot of less structured activities. One reason submissives like that sort of experience is because it makes them feel out of control, which is erotic. But I agree with what others have said: edgeplay is actually anything that takes you out of your comfort zone.

Given that defintiion, some relationships are one non-stop edgeplay experience. If you don't jump off them prematurely, they can be quite a ride. :) If you do bail, well, you often get bitter and and try to talk others out of trying similar things. I personally like them, but it's an acquired taste that I developed rather late. Could be it was always in me, though: if I start a book, I have to read it to the very end, even if it's genuinely awful.

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Profile   Post #: 25
RE: I hate to ask this - 8/11/2009 6:45:55 AM   
ResidentSadist


Posts: 12580
Joined: 2/11/2007
From: a mean old Daddy, but I like you - Joni Mitchell
Status: offline 		BULLSHIT - your “personal comfort zone” has nothing to do with the meaning of edgeplay!!!

Something beyond the “edge” of your personal boundaries may feel “edgy” to you but it is not what the BDSM community calls edgeplay, even if you would. It is not the meaning and use of the word.

Edgeplay is equated to the danger factor. Guns, sharp knives, electrocution and asphyxiation are instruments of death. They are also instruments in edgeplay.

Light bondage would not be considered edgeplay, even if it pushed someone’s personal comfort zone.

Bloodsport, asphyxiation, dunking, hook suspension, white gas fireplay and extreme electroture (wall current & car batteries) is edgeplay . . . even to the seasoned masochist that is totally comfortable hanging from hooks in their chest to relax after a good waterboarding session.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Note: It really pisses me off when seasoned forum members totally misinform newcomers by posting errant explanations or total bullshit. If we continue to bastardize the meanings of the established expressions in our BDSM community by saying that the definitions of the language we use are so personalized they are subject to a useless variety of meanings, you fuckers won’t be able to tell if “edgeplay” means getting tickled with a feather or hung by the neck with jumper cables on your nipples.

I totally disagree with those that say edgeplay has a variety of interpretations relative to “personal comfort zones”. The use of term “edgeplay” always involved real danger.

Also-
There are borderline areas and common mistakes, like piercing and some medical play. Sewing or stapling someone’s lips shut isn’t likely to be fatal. Dilators, sounds, piercing and sutures are oft called edgeplay. . . because they are invasive! Invasive does not equate to danger and therefore is NOT edgeplay. It is extreme play. Big difference.

< Message edited by ResidentSadist -- 8/11/2009 6:55:12 AM >

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RE: I hate to ask this - 8/11/2009 6:58:52 AM   
beargonewild


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quote:

ORIGINAL: Darcyandthedark

quote:

ORIGINAL: fadedshadow

because it'll show how much of an idiot i am, but i need to know.

what is edge play?



Anything that takes you to the edge of your comfort zone so it depends on the individual.
Knives aren't edgy for me.
Dentists or oral examinations are.  Oh and listening to Celine Dion.
 
the.dark.


Would you like me to send you her entire library of music???  


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Profile   Post #: 27
RE: I hate to ask this - 8/11/2009 7:02:26 AM   
stella41b


Posts: 4258
Joined: 10/16/2007
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quote:

ORIGINAL: CatdeMedici

6 Dominas kidnapping Dark Steven.


What an excellent idea for a new play. With a nod to Pirandello of course. Thank you.


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Profile   Post #: 28
RE: I hate to ask this - 8/11/2009 7:16:58 AM   
LadyPact


Posts: 32566
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: ResidentSadist

BULLSHIT - your “personal comfort zone” has nothing to do with the meaning of edgeplay!!!

Something beyond the “edge” of your personal boundaries may feel “edgy” to you but it is not what the BDSM community calls edgeplay, even if you would. It is not the meaning and use of the word.

Edgeplay is equated to the danger factor. Guns, sharp knives, electrocution and asphyxiation are instruments of death. They are also instruments in edgeplay.

Light bondage would not be considered edgeplay, even if it pushed someone’s personal comfort zone.

Bloodsport, asphyxiation, dunking, hook suspension, white gas fireplay and extreme electroture (wall current & car batteries) is edgeplay . . . even to the seasoned masochist that is totally comfortable hanging from hooks in their chest to relax after a good waterboarding session.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Note: It really pisses me off when seasoned forum members totally misinform newcomers by posting errant explanations or total bullshit. If we continue to bastardize the meanings of the established expressions in our BDSM community by saying that the definitions of the language we use are so personalized they are subject to a useless variety of meanings, you fuckers won’t be able to tell if “edgeplay” means getting tickled with a feather or hung by the neck with jumper cables on your nipples.

I totally disagree with those that say edgeplay has a variety of interpretations relative to “personal comfort zones”. The use of term “edgeplay” always involved real danger.

Also-
There are borderline areas and common mistakes, like piercing and some medical play. Sewing or stapling someone’s lips shut isn’t likely to be fatal. Dilators, sounds, piercing and sutures are oft called edgeplay. . . because they are invasive! Invasive does not equate to danger and therefore is NOT edgeplay. It is extreme play. Big difference.


I am absolutely calling bullshit on you calling bullshit.  If I chose to put someone who is claustrophobic in a closet, it may not be edge play to you, but it sure is to them.


_____________________________

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Profile   Post #: 29
RE: I hate to ask this - 8/11/2009 7:22:43 AM   
cornflakegirl


Posts: 183
Joined: 7/1/2009
From: Arizona
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: ResidentSadist

BULLSHIT - your “personal comfort zone” has nothing to do with the meaning of edgeplay!!!

Something beyond the “edge” of your personal boundaries may feel “edgy” to you but it is not what the BDSM community calls edgeplay, even if you would. It is not the meaning and use of the word.

Edgeplay is equated to the danger factor. Guns, sharp knives, electrocution and asphyxiation are instruments of death. They are also instruments in edgeplay.

Light bondage would not be considered edgeplay, even if it pushed someone’s personal comfort zone.

Bloodsport, asphyxiation, dunking, hook suspension, white gas fireplay and extreme electroture (wall current & car batteries) is edgeplay . . . even to the seasoned masochist that is totally comfortable hanging from hooks in their chest to relax after a good waterboarding session.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Note: It really pisses me off when seasoned forum members totally misinform newcomers by posting errant explanations or total bullshit. If we continue to bastardize the meanings of the established expressions in our BDSM community by saying that the definitions of the language we use are so personalized they are subject to a useless variety of meanings, you fuckers won’t be able to tell if “edgeplay” means getting tickled with a feather or hung by the neck with jumper cables on your nipples.

I totally disagree with those that say edgeplay has a variety of interpretations relative to “personal comfort zones”. The use of term “edgeplay” always involved real danger.

Also-
There are borderline areas and common mistakes, like piercing and some medical play. Sewing or stapling someone’s lips shut isn’t likely to be fatal. Dilators, sounds, piercing and sutures are oft called edgeplay. . . because they are invasive! Invasive does not equate to danger and therefore is NOT edgeplay. It is extreme play. Big difference.


Why does your definition of "edgeplay" trump anyone else's definition? I am asking in all sincerity, not to be snarky.


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Profile   Post #: 30
RE: I hate to ask this - 8/11/2009 7:41:31 AM   
daintydimples


Posts: 967
Joined: 7/6/2009
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quote:

ORIGINAL: MstrPBK

Edge play has three possible meanings ....

1) Playing with knives and blades
2) Breath control/near snuff experience, or other extreme levels of risk taking (see RS's post)
3) or the control of ones orgasm, as in "edging" which is bringing a person to the edge of orgasm, then backing off, rinse and repeat as needed

When your talking to some one who is talking about edge play it is best to ask "by what definition" they are talking about.

MstrPBK



I'm going with MstrPBK's definitions, with the amendments as above. Taking someone out of their comfort zone is, to me, pushing limits.


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Profile   Post #: 31
RE: I hate to ask this - 8/11/2009 8:05:15 AM   
MaamJay


Posts: 2101
Joined: 9/2/2005
Status: offline 		I generally agree with Resident Sadist in that, as I understood it, edgeplay is used for play that has real and present danger of causing permanent harm, rather than something as woolly as being beyond someone's comfort zone. So I don't think it's entirely a matter of his definition trumping others, it's a definition I have read in many places. However, that said, I think LP's example of a claustrophobic in a closet is for that person edgeplay simply as it could cause them permanent psychological harm. I think physical and psychological harm are equally important. I realise that can be very difficult to assess too, but it's something I try to factor in to My assessments of what to try and what not to try with a sub.

To give an example of something that might be beyond someone's comfort zone NOT being edgeplay, how about attendance at a play party? For a lot of people, that really pushes them out beyond their comfort zone, but lasting physical or psychological harm is extremely unlikely to occur (unless they step off the kerb and get run over by a bus outside!).

Maam Jay aka violet[A]

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RE: I hate to ask this - 8/11/2009 8:14:48 AM   
LillyoftheVally


Posts: 1826
Joined: 7/22/2009
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: ResidentSadist
Note: It really pisses me off when seasoned forum members totally misinform newcomers by posting errant explanations or total bullshit. If we continue to bastardize the meanings of the established expressions in our BDSM community by saying that the definitions of the language we use are so personalized they are subject to a useless variety of meanings, you fuckers won’t be able to tell if “edgeplay” means getting tickled with a feather or hung by the neck with jumper cables on your nipples.

real danger.


And again, it shocks me to have to explain to seasoned members that as with most things there are different definitions used in different circumstances. I have only ever seen the term used in the way that you defined, but actually I prefer the definition offered by others because it is true, lasting damage can be done by a lot more that knives. Also in fairness there is real danger in a lot of BDSM.

Your very melodramatic response belies your intelligence IMO RS.


< Message edited by LillyoftheVally -- 8/11/2009 8:15:40 AM >

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Profile   Post #: 33
RE: I hate to ask this - 8/11/2009 8:22:23 AM   
cornflakegirl


Posts: 183
Joined: 7/1/2009
From: Arizona
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: MaamJay

I generally agree with Resident Sadist in that, as I understood it, edgeplay is used for play that has real and present danger of causing permanent harm, rather than something as woolly as being beyond someone's comfort zone. So I don't think it's entirely a matter of his definition trumping others, it's a definition I have read in many places. However, that said, I think LP's example of a claustrophobic in a closet is for that person edgeplay simply as it could cause them permanent psychological harm. I think physical and psychological harm are equally important. I realise that can be very difficult to assess too, but it's something I try to factor in to My assessments of what to try and what not to try with a sub.

To give an example of something that might be beyond someone's comfort zone NOT being edgeplay, how about attendance at a play party? For a lot of people, that really pushes them out beyond their comfort zone, but lasting physical or psychological harm is extremely unlikely to occur (unless they step off the kerb and get run over by a bus outside!).

Maam Jay aka violet[A]


I think this makes a lot of sense. I think it also shows how much communication there needs to be between people who are playing together on this topic. What is good fun for one person could be terrifying or even physically dangerous for another person with a different history or in different health. "Edgeplay" is not specific enough to say go or no.

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RE: I hate to ask this - 8/11/2009 8:33:18 AM   
slavekal


Posts: 1486
Joined: 7/20/2004
Status: offline 		You don't look like an idiot.  But for all questions like this, the first stop should be google.  You can get a concise, dictionary definition in two seconds.

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RE: I hate to ask this - 8/11/2009 11:53:07 AM   
ResidentSadist


Posts: 12580
Joined: 2/11/2007
From: a mean old Daddy, but I like you - Joni Mitchell
Status: offline 		The reality of most terms comes from Webster’s and it isn’t my definition “trumping” others… it is reality vs misunderstanding. I even listed the source for much of that misunderstanding. But don’t take my word for it, check this link:
http://www.reference.com/browse/Edge+play

I commend those that truly answered the OP by listing actual types of play that fall into the definition. Even the wiki link was a boon to reality.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Edgeplay

I have great respect for LadyPact, Mercnbeth and Darcyandthedark and do not fault them for being mistaken or accidentally making an inattentive comment. However, I stand by Webster, Wiki and my 39 year history of understanding in the BDSM community as to what the fuck edgeplay means.

I stand by what I said in my original reply. Edgeplay has nothing to do with personal comfort. Although LP’s claustrophobic subject feels “closet play” is edgy, closet play will never be considered edgeplay anymore than light bondage will.

Whether it is “closet play” with claustrophobics or pushing a skydiver with vertigo out of plane while performing light bondage, during a thunderstorm, over a sea of sharks . . . although that could be considered “edgy” to those individuals, it is not what the BDSM community means by edgeplay.

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Profile   Post #: 36
RE: I hate to ask this - 8/11/2009 11:56:02 AM   
LillyoftheVally


Posts: 1826
Joined: 7/22/2009
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: ResidentSadist
Whether it is “closet play” with claustrophobics or pushing a skydiver with vertigo out of plane while performing light bondage, during a thunderstorm, over a sea of sharks . . . although that could be considered “edgy” to those individuals, it is not what the BDSM community means by edgeplay.



Yet three people who practice BDSM or whatever they call it (miss darkness) and call it something else, therefore clearly the 'so called' community do not agree?

< Message edited by LillyoftheVally -- 8/11/2009 12:03:44 PM >

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RE: I hate to ask this - 8/11/2009 11:59:46 AM   
sirsholly


Posts: 42360
Joined: 9/7/2007
From: Quietville
Status: offline
quote:

I have great respect for LadyPact, Mercnbeth and Darcyandthedark and do not fault them for being mistaken or accidentally making an inattentive comment. However, I stand by Webster, Wiki and my 39 year history of understanding in the BDSM community as to what the fuck edgeplay means.

I stand by what I said in my original reply. Edgeplay has nothing to do with personal comfort. Although LP’s claustrophobic subject feels “closet play” is edgy, closet play will never be considered edgeplay anymore than light bondage will.


i happen to agree with LadyP. MercnBeth, Lilly, and Darcy&theDark.

My definition of edge play is not the next persons. It is what takes ME to the edge.

< Message edited by sirsholly -- 8/11/2009 12:00:36 PM >

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Profile   Post #: 38
RE: I hate to ask this - 8/11/2009 1:06:13 PM   
LadyPact


Posts: 32566
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: ResidentSadist

The reality of most terms comes from Webster’s and it isn’t my definition “trumping” others… it is reality vs misunderstanding. I even listed the source for much of that misunderstanding. But don’t take my word for it, check this link:
http://www.reference.com/browse/Edge+play

I commend those that truly answered the OP by listing actual types of play that fall into the definition. Even the wiki link was a boon to reality.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Edgeplay

I have great respect for LadyPact, Mercnbeth and Darcyandthedark and do not fault them for being mistaken or accidentally making an inattentive comment. However, I stand by Webster, Wiki and my 39 year history of understanding in the BDSM community as to what the fuck edgeplay means.

I stand by what I said in my original reply. Edgeplay has nothing to do with personal comfort. Although LP’s claustrophobic subject feels “closet play” is edgy, closet play will never be considered edgeplay anymore than light bondage will.

Whether it is “closet play” with claustrophobics or pushing a skydiver with vertigo out of plane while performing light bondage, during a thunderstorm, over a sea of sharks . . . although that could be considered “edgy” to those individuals, it is not what the BDSM community means by edgeplay.


Again, Eric, I'm going to disagree.  While I appreciate you citing your sources, they literally boiled down to the same source word for word.  It's not that it's a bad definition, it's that it's also not complete.  Even in listing it, no where does it say it refers to potential physical harm alone.  There is also no singular definition of edge play in the BDSM community.  While it's easier to take those activities that many consider edge play and make that the only definition, it also makes it less than entirely correct.


Speaking of the "BDSM community" here are some definitions that I've pulled from others.  By the way, these are all references from your own book list.  (You know, the one I pimp out when you're not around for those less experienced folks while you're away.  LOL.)


"Scenes that are designed to push us up to and/or beyond our known limits are know as 'edge play".  Pg 189, "Screw The Roses, Send Me The Thorns" by Miller and Devon.

Index from the same book:

Edge Play - Erotic role play near or at the edge of a submissive or dominant's limits.  The term also refers to activities that carry a higher than usual element of risk.

From "The Loving Dominant" by John Warren, Appendix F:

Edgeplay - These are particularly dangerous BDSM practices that are looked upon with some trepidation.  Because there is no formal "ruling body" in BDSM, what is called edge play is up to the individual.  Therefore, sonething that to one person might be considered edgeplay might not be edgeplay to another.

"Edge play is erotic role-playing near or at the "edge" of a submissive's or even a dominant's limits."
pg  194 from "The Art of Sensual Female Dominance A Guide for Women" by Claudia Varrin.

And, as in the thread that I had linked for reference:

"The edge in edge play is found wherever your edge is, wherever  things start to feel  risky, where you start to feel vulnerable, the edge of the cliff that looks over your own personal abyss."  pg 196 "The New Topping Book" by Dossie Easton and Janet W Hardy.


So, obviously, there are a good number of folks in the BDSM community who have varying definitions.



For the OP, don't misunderstand the intent of this post.  It wasn't written as some kind of pissing contest between Eric and Myself.  We just happen to both be the type that, after doing this thing that we do for some time, we've (not us personally) had a lot of discussions that have brought us to our own definitions.

And to tell you the truth, that's exactly My recommendation on the way you should do it, too.  Never be afraid to ask.  Get all of the input you can, apply it to you, and form what works for you.






 




_____________________________

The crowned Diva of Destruction. ~ ExT

Beach Ball Sized Lady Nuts. ~ TWD

Happily dating a new submissive. It's official. I've named him engie.

Please do not send me email here. Unless I know you, I will delete the email unread

(in reply to ResidentSadist)
Profile   Post #: 39
RE: I hate to ask this - 8/11/2009 2:04:49 PM   
leadership527


Posts: 5026
Joined: 6/2/2008
Status: offline 		Edge play is all that crazy stuff that OTHER people do. What I do is, of course, normal.

On a more serious note, I really resent you making a play for the idiot slot. I'm afraid that that's MY slot and you're going to have to do a lot better than asking a fairly straight forward and reasonable question to get it from me.

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Profile   Post #: 40
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