I hate getting old and weepy and frustated! (RANT)

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I hate getting old and weepy and frustated! (RANT) - 8/9/2009 4:36:51 PM

ShaharThorne

Posts: 11071
Joined: 2/24/2009
From: Somewhere in TX
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I was spending time for the past 11 days with my daughter while taking care of legal problems in Austin. Besides threatening to destroying her computer (some message of cannot load res_dll comes up), we covered her punkish hair coloring to a raven black (it was blue). We also got her room cleaned up and discovered some of my clothes that I thought was missing when I moved out. In all it was okay, I just wish she let me sleep in the bedroom without the computer and tv going.

Meanwhile, my bipolar is doing some major mixed episodes. I still get the visions of welts on my arms and legs, yet I am not playing with anyone (being celibate does not help out). Friday my bus was late, leaving me stuck in Dallas for over 12 hours. Mom arranged for a hotel room for me since I was having a case of the shakes and frankly scared of some of the people down there in the terminal. I have to do this again at the end of August for my SSI hearing and I am nervous about that. Facing a judge is not my idea of a good time...but a judge with a flogger on the other hand...LOL!

This morning, I can barely get out of bed, my right hip froze up...damn arthritis! CTS I can stand but the deep pain in my hip this morning was not part of the plan for today. So I sit on my duff, heating pad heating up my asscheek for most of the day. Mom is sick from something, can't barely talk.

So I am bored, hurting, visualizing of whacking my arms and legs to get some welts going (ok, so I am sado-machoist here) and suffering from a lack of nookie (5+ months), weepy and frustated at the same time. What in the world am I suppose to do now besides ignore the Doms who are not in my age range and all the subs who are in the do-me mode? I am also feel biting someone just to get all of this emotion out of me!

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RE: I hate getting old and weepy and frustated! (RANT) - 8/9/2009 5:38:44 PM

GreedyTop

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Joined: 5/2/2007
From: Savannah, GA
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*hugs*

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RE: I hate getting old and weepy and frustated! (RANT) - 8/9/2009 5:44:49 PM

IrishMist

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more *hugs*

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RE: I hate getting old and weepy and frustated! (RANT) - 8/10/2009 9:33:27 AM

pahunkboy

Posts: 33061
Joined: 2/26/2006
From: Central Pennsylvania
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I have some advice.

Take it from someone who went thru 4 years of courts.

Don't LIVE your court thing.

Easy said.   But hard to do.   You can not think about court 24-7.      There is life on the other side.   I know that is hard to see now-

Take a break from the worry. Some how.

Wrap yourself up in a good movie.   Or good music.

The idea of court alone can drive a person to the edge.

HUGS

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RE: I hate getting old and weepy and frustated! (RANT) - 8/11/2009 1:00:38 PM

ShaharThorne

Posts: 11071
Joined: 2/24/2009
From: Somewhere in TX
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Thanks for the hugs, I greatly appreciate them!

I am calmer today, just a single hand tremor and slurred speech. My hair is still falling out. My paralegal got the last of the info needed about my treatment from when I was in TN. I finally recovered from the last panic attack on Friday, when I missed my bus by 10 minutes due to a mechanical breakdown. I had to spend the night in Dallas by myself and in a hotel room. Some guy tried to accost me Saturday morning, but I stare him down in my maniac form. He backed away quickly.

Now, I am just thinking of buying a new internal cdrom drive or perhaps a dvd one. I retrieved my Warcraft II cd from my daughter's house and want to play so bad (it calms me down more). But then, this computer is so old, it might be better to buy a new one for myself and my mother and a printer so I won't have to make emergency trips to the library for printing out online receipts.

Meanwhile, my mother and I got to set up an account at a bank so I can have a debit card onhand in case of emergencies again like what happened in Dallas (BTW, downtown Dallas is not pretty). I did see the latest HP movie with my daughter and now she is working on band camp. I am glad I don't reside with her and have to listen to drum beating...

BTW my daughter is calling me a masochist...I told her I am a sadomasochist...that I like to invoke pain as well as receive it (I have been threatening to wax her armpits.)

_____________________________

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You are making two and a half feet of irresistible, tubular sex! -Lola, Kinky Boots

Founder: Bitch with Tits

Whip me, beat me, make me feel cheap and have great sex

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