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ShaharThorne -> I hate getting old and weepy and frustated! (RANT) (8/9/2009 4:36:51 PM)
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I was spending time for the past 11 days with my daughter while taking care of legal problems in Austin. Besides threatening to destroying her computer (some message of cannot load res_dll comes up), we covered her punkish hair coloring to a raven black (it was blue). We also got her room cleaned up and discovered some of my clothes that I thought was missing when I moved out. In all it was okay, I just wish she let me sleep in the bedroom without the computer and tv going.
Meanwhile, my bipolar is doing some major mixed episodes. I still get the visions of welts on my arms and legs, yet I am not playing with anyone (being celibate does not help out). Friday my bus was late, leaving me stuck in Dallas for over 12 hours. Mom arranged for a hotel room for me since I was having a case of the shakes and frankly scared of some of the people down there in the terminal. I have to do this again at the end of August for my SSI hearing and I am nervous about that. Facing a judge is not my idea of a good time...but a judge with a flogger on the other hand...LOL!
This morning, I can barely get out of bed, my right hip froze up...damn arthritis! CTS I can stand but the deep pain in my hip this morning was not part of the plan for today. So I sit on my duff, heating pad heating up my asscheek for most of the day. Mom is sick from something, can't barely talk.
So I am bored, hurting, visualizing of whacking my arms and legs to get some welts going (ok, so I am sado-machoist here) and suffering from a lack of nookie (5+ months), weepy and frustated at the same time. What in the world am I suppose to do now besides ignore the Doms who are not in my age range and all the subs who are in the do-me mode? I am also feel biting someone just to get all of this emotion out of me!
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