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How to free the mind?? - 7/23/2009 11:14:08 AM

Daddyssidney

Posts: 46
Joined: 7/21/2009
Status: offline

Hi A/all.. I have a question. My Daddy is a very sexual Man and the vanilla stuff just don't get it. *grin* I know I'm a very sensual and sexual being and have not been vanilla per se for sometime. However having said that, I still have many ingrained notions about what a woman should or should not do. Or what love should look like. Some examples of this would be.... a good girl would not per take in a threesome.. or allow being called names and whatever... And the whole love thing of ....... if he/she loved me they would not want to share me in poly play... Now in my head I know that good, respectful, women have every right to enjoy sex in the same ways men do... I have fantasies in my mind but the whole idea of really trying some things just brings up all the negative crap that life has taut me as a woman.
What can one do to truly free the mind and heart to truly enjoy crazy wild sex with your partner and maybe others?

Thanks & Be Well
sidney

Post #: 1

RE: How to free the mind?? - 7/23/2009 11:23:15 AM

bman41

Posts: 1
Joined: 7/4/2009
Status: offline

just let yourself go there.....itw what is right for you ....dont think about what others want you to do ,do what you think is best for you .....

(in reply to Daddyssidney)

Post #: 2

RE: How to free the mind?? - 7/23/2009 11:32:47 AM

RCdc

Posts: 8674
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Daddyssidney

Hi A/all.. I have a question. My Daddy is a very sexual Man and the vanilla stuff just don't get it. *grin* I know I'm a very sensual and sexual being and have not been vanilla per se for sometime. However having said that, I still have many ingrained notions about what a woman should or should not do. Or what love should look like. Some examples of this would be.... a good girl would not per take in a threesome.. or allow being called names and whatever... And the whole love thing of ....... if he/she loved me they would not want to share me in poly play... Now in my head I know that good, respectful, women have every right to enjoy sex in the same ways men do... I have fantasies in my mind but the whole idea of really trying some things just brings up all the negative crap that life has taut me as a woman.
What can one do to truly free the mind and heart to truly enjoy crazy wild sex with your partner and maybe others?

Thanks & Be Well
sidney

I don't have the same issue as you, so I couldn't possibly comprehend the difficulty you have.
My only suggestion would be to think more like your name suggests... Daddyssidney. Working purely on the Daddy dynamics I am close to, do as Daddy says, not what you think. If he loves to call you names, then do as Daddy tells you. He is your Daddy, ask him to teach you the right way - his way... like the good little girl you should be. Just know that some things take time.

the.dark.

_____________________________

RC&dc

love isnt gazing into each others eyes - it's looking forward in the same direction

(in reply to Daddyssidney)

Post #: 3

RE: How to free the mind?? - 7/23/2009 11:40:58 AM

lally2

Posts: 2621
Joined: 4/16/2009
Status: offline

switch it off - is all i can say. if its holding you back from something you want to try then why hold on to old values that do not serve you in any way atall and arent even youres, theyve been handed down to you.

anyway, theres nothing new about swinging or threesomes, thats been going on for centuries.

and whats love got to do with hot raw sex anyway - move away from lurve and move youre mind towards trying new things with a man who thinks enough about you to want to do these things with you. its possible to have sex with someone you love and for love to be the last thing on everyones mind. its just sex, thats all and its possible to separate the act from the emotions, if you really want to.

making it the male perogative to have animal sex without emotion is all wrong. you can do it, i believe in you. there!

-now go forth and have fun, youre allowed, its in the fifth amendment (i think) and if it isnt it should be.

(in reply to bman41)

Post #: 4

RE: How to free the mind?? - 7/23/2009 11:52:37 AM

DesFIP

Posts: 25191
Joined: 11/25/2007
From: Apple County NY
Status: offline

You know, you can be a wildly sexual person and still not engage in swinging, poly, etc. It isn't an either/or situation. Who told you that if you're uninterested in a 3some you must be a prude?

Because anyone who would state that categorically is doing so because he has an agenda.

I'm not bi, I'm never going to be bi, doesn't matter how much somebody tells me this means I have hang ups about sex. I don't. I never have, comes from growing up in an openly gay summer community where people have sex on the sand.

I have no issues and I'm still not bi, not poly, not into swinging. I am a het female who is wired for monogamy and I am totally free sexually. My sex life does not conflict with my morality because this is who I am, I am authentically me.

So I suggest you think about what you are attracted to and aren't instead of allowing someone to push you to do stuff you may not enjoy simply because you don't want the label of prude, or sexually stilted or whatever. If you really are wired for bi relationships there will be other women to explore with next year. Wait until you know you want to do this for yourself, not for him.

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Post #: 5

RE: How to free the mind?? - 7/23/2009 12:22:23 PM

Prinsexx

Posts: 4584
Joined: 8/27/2007
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Daddyssidney

Hi A/all.. I have a question. My Daddy is a very sexual Man and the vanilla stuff just don't get it. *grin* I know I'm a very sensual and sexual being and have not been vanilla per se for sometime. However having said that, I still have many ingrained notions about what a woman should or should not do. Or what love should look like. Some examples of this would be.... a good girl would not per take in a threesome.. or allow being called names and whatever... And the whole love thing of ....... if he/she loved me they would not want to share me in poly play... Now in my head I know that good, respectful, women have every right to enjoy sex in the same ways men do... I have fantasies in my mind but the whole idea of really trying some things just brings up all the negative crap that life has taut me as a woman.
What can one do to truly free the mind and heart to truly enjoy crazy wild sex with your partner and maybe others?

Thanks & Be Well
sidney

I'm sorry if this sounds snarky but this sounds like my UM's when they turn their nose up to some new food I have cooked and say euurrr I don't like that! when I know as their mother they have never even tried it.
THE BODY FREES THE MIND.
And the mind frees the body.
But my point is this: try it first and then pass jugdement.

_____________________________

Owner of asterion

Metawhore.... the sound of a metaphore when gagged
Free woman
Resident thread finisher
To my stalker:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LN2lP_7J7GI&feature=fvwrel

(in reply to Daddyssidney)

Post #: 6

RE: How to free the mind?? - 7/23/2009 12:28:44 PM

tammystarm

Posts: 3045
Joined: 7/26/2006
Status: offline

ive been there, the thought of being called a pain slut?! yet i truly am. i found out one time when i was absolutely horrified about the thought of more than one in a scene, that it was the most enlightening, most caring thing id ever witnessed. it takes time, it takes patience (yeah im really the queen on that) and it sometimes takes being pushed. whatever you do or dont do, dont put yourself down

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Post #: 7

RE: How to free the mind?? - 7/23/2009 12:49:32 PM

olena

Posts: 97
Joined: 12/27/2007
Status: offline

Whenever thinking or trying to do something that you have a preconceived judgment that is holding you back seriously think to yourself “why does it matter?”, “Who is involved and how does it affect the other people?” and things like this. Most often the answer comes back in a form of noticing just how unimportant your societal judgments are when in private with the person you care about.

For specific example you would not be with your guy if you did not think on a strong level he cared and respected you. So what is the harm of some name calling for sexual excitement if he enjoys it and you enjoy that perk?

(in reply to Daddyssidney)

Post #: 8

RE: How to free the mind?? - 7/23/2009 12:56:34 PM

Lockit

Posts: 11292
Joined: 5/7/2007
Status: offline

I found that with age, experience and actually losing my mind helped. lol

Learning to do different things, to set aside a way of thinking that limited me was found in being comfortable with who I was, comfortable with who other's were and accepting that there wasn't one way. I wanted to live free and true to myself and in being true to myself, I saw more ways of being true to who I was and who I could be. Sometimes it is simply a matter of age and experience with growth.

I can remember a day when my adult children we so closed minded and thought I was a freak! lol I heard...'oh mom' so many times I could never tell you how many times they said it. Now... lol... they love talking about all that stuff and are finally opening up to more. It just took time.

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Post #: 9

RE: How to free the mind?? - 7/23/2009 1:00:50 PM

Prinsexx

Posts: 4584
Joined: 8/27/2007
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Lockit

and actually losing my mind helped.

I have to agree.
I just love being out of the box and out of the tree.

_____________________________

Owner of asterion

Metawhore.... the sound of a metaphore when gagged
Free woman
Resident thread finisher
To my stalker:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LN2lP_7J7GI&feature=fvwrel

(in reply to Lockit)

Post #: 10

RE: How to free the mind?? - 7/23/2009 1:02:01 PM

Daddyssidney

Posts: 46
Joined: 7/21/2009
Status: offline

WOW..... Thanks for all the replies. :) My Daddy and I have talked a lot about poly play and he would never push me in to something that I was not ready for. Whew... But since we talk about it a lot I have found that his fantasies are starting to become my own. And I know that when I become secure enough in O/our relationship... I will want to make his fantasy a reality as a gift. I'm just having a hard time rewiring all that crap that has been hard wired in my head all my life. Not to say that I have not had a very colorful history.... but I have always felt shameful about it.....

Be Well
sidney

(in reply to tammystarm)

Post #: 11

RE: How to free the mind?? - 7/23/2009 1:04:22 PM

tammystarm

Posts: 3045
Joined: 7/26/2006
Status: offline

never be ashamed EVER!

_____________________________

~~Queen of duct-tape~~
~~Emotionally delusional~~

~~somebody pour me my nebuitol and hand me my drink~~

(in reply to Daddyssidney)

Post #: 12

RE: How to free the mind?? - 7/23/2009 1:16:15 PM

TurboJugend

Posts: 481
Joined: 6/15/2009
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: tammystarm

never be ashamed EVER!

why not?
perhaps beeing ashamed is a learning proces

don't be ashamed to be ashamed once ina while.... ;)

(in reply to tammystarm)

Post #: 13

RE: How to free the mind?? - 7/23/2009 1:18:45 PM

tammystarm

Posts: 3045
Joined: 7/26/2006
Status: offline

ok never be ashamed of what You have done everything is a learning experience

_____________________________

~~Queen of duct-tape~~
~~Emotionally delusional~~

~~somebody pour me my nebuitol and hand me my drink~~

(in reply to TurboJugend)

Post #: 14

RE: How to free the mind?? - 7/23/2009 1:26:49 PM

GYPZYQUEEN

Posts: 730
Joined: 4/14/2009
Status: offline

OP:

I would suggest a Belief RE-PAtterning site...or reading the book..
BURIED FEELINGS DONT DIE..
The book has step by step ways to RELEASE from old beliefs that were deposited on us that ARE not OURS....
basically "cow-paths" of the brain where we repeatedly go.

I used the book and trained as a practitioner..and lost 100 lbs..regained my financial life..and also embraced my personal truths.
The book alone could do it..

As well ,the book the Ethical SLUT ( Dossie Easton)really has some great stuff for a full sexual life with
several.../ /how you wish to build it your way//
( **they use the word slut to mean a person having control over their sexuality and enjoying life)

GQ

(in reply to tammystarm)

Post #: 15

RE: How to free the mind?? - 7/23/2009 1:34:28 PM

Daddyssidney

Posts: 46
Joined: 7/21/2009
Status: offline

I think feeling ashamed and feeling shameful are two different things.. At least for me. Feeling ashamed or sorry for a behavior that goes against my norm is a learning experience. Feeling shameful for liking the things I like..... is more hard wired and I'm trying to free myself from all the BS.

(in reply to tammystarm)

Post #: 16

RE: How to free the mind?? - 7/23/2009 1:40:39 PM

Toppingfrmbottom

Posts: 6528
Joined: 6/7/2009
Status: offline

Maybe a kink friendly therapist would help you lay aside those old tracks that were laid down about what someone who was decent would and wouldn't do. Maybe some meditation where you lay down positive new tracks? I don't have to much other advice since I've never had the problem.

(in reply to Daddyssidney)

Post #: 17

RE: How to free the mind?? - 7/23/2009 3:36:30 PM

littlewonder

Posts: 15659
Status: offline

Choose someone with the same morals and values as yourself.

(in reply to Toppingfrmbottom)

Post #: 18

RE: How to free the mind?? - 7/23/2009 3:46:29 PM

angelikaJ

Posts: 8641
Joined: 6/22/2007
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: GYPZYQUEEN

OP:

I would suggest a Belief RE-PAtterning site...or reading the book..
BURIED FEELINGS DONT DIE..
The book has step by step ways to RELEASE from old beliefs that were deposited on us that ARE not OURS....
basically "cow-paths" of the brain where we repeatedly go.

I used the book and trained as a practitioner..and lost 100 lbs..regained my financial life..and also embraced my personal truths.
The book alone could do it..

As well ,the book the Ethical SLUT ( Dossie Easton)really has some great stuff for a full sexual life with
several.../ /how you wish to build it your way//
( **they use the word slut to mean a person having control over their sexuality and enjoying life)

GQ

GQ,
I did an Amazon search and the closest thing I came up with was "Feelings Buried Alive Never Die"... is that the book you meant?

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(in reply to GYPZYQUEEN)

Post #: 19

RE: How to free the mind?? - 7/23/2009 5:25:25 PM

crouchingtigress

Posts: 4387
Joined: 3/19/2006
From: Maui
Status: offline

This is what makes BDSM so hot...the edges...you have found yours....now dance on them a little.

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"Its none of my buisness what other people think of me."

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Post #: 20

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