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Responsiblity - 7/12/2009 6:51:16 AM   
LATEXBABY64


Posts: 2107
Joined: 4/8/2004
Status: offline 		Holding people acountable

When we scene and something goes wrong should and dom or domme help pay for medical bill if they where not careful or lied about their experince in doing something
if so what is the best to resolve such a thing

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RE: Responsiblity - 7/12/2009 7:14:24 AM   
IrishMist


Posts: 7480
Joined: 11/17/2005
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quote:

ORIGINAL: LATEXBABY64

Holding people acountable

When we scene and something goes wrong should and dom or domme help pay for medical bill if they where not careful or lied about their experince in doing something
if so what is the best to resolve such a thing



No.

when you decide to scene with another, you yourself are taking on the responsibility that goes with that scene. If the person YOU chose to scene with turns out to be an idiot, well....perhaps YOU should have taken more time to get to know what kind of person he/she was.

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RE: Responsiblity - 7/12/2009 7:20:02 AM   
UglyTruth


Posts: 126
Joined: 7/14/2008
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quote:

ORIGINAL: LATEXBABY64

Holding people acountable

When we scene and something goes wrong should and dom or domme help pay for medical bill if they where not careful or lied about their experince in doing something
if so what is the best to resolve such a thing




If they were negligent, yes. If they lied about their experience, that's fraud. In that case, hell yes.

Otherwise, the sub should assume the responsibility for engaging in risky play. I once had a testicle issue from getting kicked. Fortunately, it turned out to not be a big deal, but I would not have expected my Mistress to pay anything for any medical care in that case. I explicitly gave her permission to kick me.

(in reply to LATEXBABY64)
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RE: Responsiblity - 7/12/2009 7:27:45 AM   
sirsholly


Posts: 42360
Joined: 9/7/2007
From: Quietville
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quote:

When we scene and something goes wrong should and dom or domme help pay for medical bill if they where not careful or lied about their experince in doing something
if so what is the best to resolve such a thing
i may have the unpopular opinion here, but what the hell. The sub needs to consider that injuries occur, either by accident or through carelessness on the part of the dom. And i mean consider this long before a session occurs. Is the sub prepared to take legal action if the Dom refuses to help with medical bills? Can the sub foot the bill if there is no health insurance? Is she agreeing to a form of play that can easily cause an injury?

It is about personal responsibility.


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(in reply to LATEXBABY64)
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RE: Responsiblity - 7/12/2009 7:32:17 AM   
UglyTruth


Posts: 126
Joined: 7/14/2008
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quote:

ORIGINAL: sirsholly

quote:

When we scene and something goes wrong should and dom or domme help pay for medical bill if they where not careful or lied about their experince in doing something
if so what is the best to resolve such a thing
i may have the unpopular opinion here, but what the hell. The sub needs to consider that injuries occur, either by accident or through carelessness on the part of the dom. And i mean consider this long before a session occurs. Is the sub prepared to take legal action if the Dom refuses to help with medical bills? Can the sub foot the bill if there is no health insurance? Is she agreeing to a form of play that can easily cause an injury?

It is about personal responsibility.



Indeed it is. Both parties are responsible. Is the Dom/me not the one in charge?

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RE: Responsiblity - 7/12/2009 7:41:37 AM   
Drakontos


Posts: 167
Joined: 5/20/2009
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quote:

ORIGINAL: LATEXBABY64

Holding people acountable

When we scene and something goes wrong should and dom or domme help pay for medical bill if they where not careful or lied about their experince in doing something
if so what is the best to resolve such a thing



If zaphira were to pick someone out to have a scene with; she could not, in all honesty, place the blame for medical expenses at the other person's feet. Fairness demands that zaphira take on the responsibility also.

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zaphira

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RE: Responsiblity - 7/12/2009 7:44:42 AM   
littlewonder


Posts: 15659
Status: offline 		No. It's my fault for not being more careful in who I chose to play with. I take responsibility for myself. I don't try to put it on someone else.

(in reply to Drakontos)
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RE: Responsiblity - 7/12/2009 7:52:40 AM   
seekerof


Posts: 18
Joined: 5/26/2009
Status: offline 		Well- if I lend out my car to somebody and they crash it, I would pay the bill (put it on insurance at least). HOWEVER, if they lied about  being an experienced driver, or had no experience using a shift/ standard and ground out my transmission then the liability is all theirs.

I certainly would use the same standard for my person that I would use for my possesions.

(in reply to littlewonder)
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RE: Responsiblity - 7/12/2009 9:15:56 AM   
susie


Posts: 1699
Joined: 11/21/2004
Status: offline 		FR

Being an adult means taking responsibility for yourself. Makes no diference whether you are Dom, sub, vanilla.

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RE: Responsiblity - 7/12/2009 10:15:55 AM   
vasha


Posts: 99
Joined: 2/20/2009
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quote:

ORIGINAL: susie

FR

Being an adult means taking responsibility for yourself. Makes no diference whether you are Dom, sub, vanilla.


amen. 



imo- the costs should at least be shared by the Dom/me. simple courtasy really.  and common decency really.

(in reply to susie)
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RE: Responsiblity - 7/12/2009 10:18:44 AM   
Esinn


Posts: 886
Joined: 6/23/2009
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: LATEXBABY64

Holding people acountable

When we scene and something goes wrong should and dom or domme help pay for medical bill if they where not careful or lied about their experince in doing something
if so what is the best to resolve such a thing




I am thinking from the 24/7 perspective.  My quick answer is YES.  I'd also feel the top should carry insurance on the bottom.  How about that one?

(in reply to LATEXBABY64)
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RE: Responsiblity - 7/12/2009 10:35:10 AM   
justme1980


Posts: 169
Joined: 6/20/2009
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: LATEXBABY64

Holding people acountable

When we scene and something goes wrong should and dom or domme help pay for medical bill if they where not careful or lied about their experince in doing something
if so what is the best to resolve such a thing



I believe that the Dom/me is responsibile for the scene, If I am hurt directly or indirectly by something they did, they will be responsible for all medical bills resulting from that scene. If they fail to own up, four simple words
SEE YOU IN COURT

(in reply to LATEXBABY64)
Profile   Post #: 12
RE: Responsiblity - 7/12/2009 10:39:33 AM   
LilKittenSub


Posts: 39
Joined: 9/20/2007
Status: offline 		As a sub, if my Dom(me) got hurt during play for one reason or the other, I'd atleast try to help, and I'd expect the Dom(me) to help if I got hurt as well. That being said, however, I think both parties should have atleast decent medical insurance to cover the bulk of the bills.

If the Dom(me) was negligent and not paying attention to the needs of the sub, or perhaps even going so far as ignoring a safe word when used(I've had that happen), then the Dom needs to take responsibility. Assault can exist in BDSM just as it can exist in vanilla scenarios. Just because you're agreeing to play that has risks doesn't mean all the responsibility should be put on one or the other.

A Dom(me) should know going into the situation that a lot of the responsibilty when it comes to ensuring the safety of both parties is on him/her, as a lot of scenarios tend to leave the submissive in a rather helpless state, especially where bondage is being used.

< Message edited by LilKittenSub -- 7/12/2009 10:40:31 AM >

_____________________________

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--Marquis De Sade

(in reply to Esinn)
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RE: Responsiblity - 7/12/2009 10:54:57 AM   
DreamyLadySnow


Posts: 359
Joined: 1/23/2005
Status: offline 		justme,
I'd be surprised if you get a lot of play offers if you are unable to see YOUR personal responsibility in a scene.
No Top can read minds. Very few are medical doctors with a fully stocked ER at their disposal.
This is a game for grownups only. People who refuse to accept responsibility when they play, should maybe not be playing.
That said, sometimes shit happens in a scene, with no negiligence involved. I'd think responsibility for that should be shared.

(in reply to LilKittenSub)
Profile   Post #: 14
RE: Responsiblity - 7/12/2009 10:57:38 AM   
SnareMage85


Posts: 25
Joined: 7/7/2009
Status: offline 		As a Dom, if I'm negligent, I'd at least offer to help.  Yes it may have been my mistake, but a sub PUTS THEMSELF AT THAT RISK.  If I chose to put myself at that risk, then that is MY responsibility.  Now if the Dom lied, that's fraud, then it's the Dom' fault.

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Wizard's First Rule:
People are stupid. They will believe anything they want, or fear, to be true.

(in reply to LilKittenSub)
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RE: Responsiblity - 7/12/2009 11:06:08 AM   
CatdeMedici


Posts: 2257
Joined: 10/20/2008
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: IrishMist


quote:

ORIGINAL: LATEXBABY64

Holding people acountable

When we scene and something goes wrong should and dom or domme help pay for medical bill if they where not careful or lied about their experince in doing something
if so what is the best to resolve such a thing



No.

when you decide to scene with another, you yourself are taking on the responsibility that goes with that scene. If the person YOU chose to scene with turns out to be an idiot, well....perhaps YOU should have taken more time to get to know what kind of person he/she was.


I am in total agreement with Irish-once you say yes, you assume culpability as well--end of story.
 


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(in reply to IrishMist)
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RE: Responsiblity - 7/12/2009 11:28:56 AM   
Esinn


Posts: 886
Joined: 6/23/2009
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: justme1980


quote:

ORIGINAL: LATEXBABY64

Holding people acountable

When we scene and something goes wrong should and dom or domme help pay for medical bill if they where not careful or lied about their experince in doing something
if so what is the best to resolve such a thing



I believe that the Dom/me is responsibile for the scene, If I am hurt directly or indirectly by something they did, they will be responsible for all medical bills resulting from that scene. If they fail to own up, four simple words
SEE YOU IN COURT


Although allowed by law see you in court is a cowards fight.  This should be so far from the last ditch effort when considered in context to the OP it should be unreasonable.

I guess this is why it is good we are given the option to learn more about the partners we play with and allowed to choose those we scene with rather than assigned.

(in reply to justme1980)
Profile   Post #: 17
RE: Responsiblity - 7/12/2009 11:36:02 AM   
RedMagic1


Posts: 6470
Joined: 5/10/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: DreamyLadySnow
justme,
I'd be surprised if you get a lot of play offers if you are unable to see YOUR personal responsibility in a scene.

Quoted for emphasis.

The sub might limp for a couple weeks, or be in a cast for a month.  Meanwhile, my career might be over for the rest of my life, because I sexually assaulted a woman.  The top risks almost as much as the bottom in a scene.  Any woman who doesn't value the tremendous risk I run every time I hit her is someone I want nowhere near me.

And, justme, as long as you have an attitude like that, you're primarily going to attract men who are desperate and hard-up.  Men with options will pass you by.


_____________________________

Not with envy, not with a twisted heart, shall you feel superior, or go about boasting. Rather in goodness by action make true your song and your word. Thus you shall be highly regarded, and able to live in peace with all others.
- 15th century Aztec

(in reply to DreamyLadySnow)
Profile   Post #: 18
RE: Responsiblity - 7/12/2009 11:46:09 AM   
LilKittenSub


Posts: 39
Joined: 9/20/2007
Status: offline 		Here's a thought... Every one of us that drives knows that we are taking a risk the second we get into our car and turn on the engine. As soon as we pull out onto the street or anywhere else with any traffic whatsoever, we are essentially agreeing to the possibility of being harmed during our time behind the wheel. If someone hits you and they are "at fault", you naturally expect them to help pay for any damages to your car as well as your own medical bills if you require hospitalization.

So why is it that so many in the BDSM community do not believe that both parties should take responsibility for any bills incurred as a result of an injury recieved during play? As responsible and consenting adults, we naturally expect both parties to take care of their responsibilities during the scene, but accidents happen in BDSM, just as they do in driving. The difference is, of course, that a lot of the accidents that can happen during a Scene are avoidable, if both parties are responsible. If one or the other becomes negligent, it is essentially the same as a driver not paying attention to the road because they're too busy switching the CD in their player or texting on their cell phone.

If a sub or a Dom(me) is hurt due to the negligence of another in the scene, the person who was negligent should be held responsible and expected to, at the very least, help pay for the medical bills they helped to cause; just as a negligent driver who hits another is expected to help pay for the damages done to the car they struck and any medical bills the victim of their negligence incurs as a result of the accident.

Please note that I'm saying the road goes both ways. If the Dom(me) is injured in any way as a result of the sub's negligence, the sub should pay, just as the Dom(me) should pay if the sub is injured as a result of their negligence.

< Message edited by LilKittenSub -- 7/12/2009 11:48:00 AM >

_____________________________

“How delicious to corrupt, to stifle all semblances of virtue and religion in that young heart!”
--Marquis De Sade

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RE: Responsiblity - 7/12/2009 11:59:08 AM   
agirl


Posts: 4530
Joined: 6/14/2004
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: LATEXBABY64

Holding people acountable

When we scene and something goes wrong should and dom or domme help pay for medical bill if they where not careful or lied about their experince in doing something
if so what is the best to resolve such a thing




Here in the UK, we don't have to *pay* in the same way people do in the US. So basically..who cares? One less thing to get bunched-up about.

agirl





(in reply to LATEXBABY64)
Profile   Post #: 20
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