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RE: smoking versus obedience!! - 7/12/2009 9:32:55 AM   
ranja


Posts: 2111
Joined: 11/1/2007
Status: offline 		Just stop smoking and stop moaning about it!

(in reply to frazzle)
Profile   Post #: 21
RE: smoking versus obedience!! - 7/12/2009 10:08:36 AM   
ThatDamnedPanda


Posts: 6060
Joined: 1/26/2009
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: frazzle


I'm trying my best, but the cutting down etc is being done at a rate He deems doable. He has never smoked.

I have cut it by half in the last month, its that next step scares me to death.


It scares you more than this?

Cancerous lung - not for the squeamish


quote:

ORIGINAL: frazzle
Monday is my quit day.

I know in advance its highly unlikely.


As long as you keep telling yourself that, you have no chance of quitting. None. If you don't think you can do it, you're already beaten.



quote:

ORIGINAL: frazzle
Is punishing someone for not quitting an addiction reasonable???




Is it any less reasonable than making him watch someone he loves kill themselves for no reason at all?


quote:

ORIGINAL: frazzle
i am trying, but threats dont over ride the need.


Then if you really want to quit - as you say you do - take some responsibility, find some motivation within yourself that does override the need, and do what you know you need to do. And don't put the poor man in the position of having to resort such measures.

About a year ago, I held my father's hand as he died, and one of the last things I told him was that he didn't need to apologize to me anymore for not having quit all those times I asked him to. It was just me; my mother wasn't there. She'd left him many years earlier, mostly because she refused to watch him kill himself. Anyway, I didn't see any point in letting his last thoughts be regret, guilt, and shame. If you like, I'll PM you some of the details of that conversation, so when the time comes for you to have the same discussion with your own loved ones, you'll have some ideas on how to handle the situation. Based on my experience watching my father struggle for words, I can say that when you've only got minutes to live, and every breath is like sucking liquid concrete through a straw, it's hard to express yourself as clearly and as meaningfully as you'd like. It might be best to have some thoughts prepared ahead of time.

Or, you could just quit smoking. Whichever you think is the better idea. Because it's ultimately your choice, and nobody else's.


_____________________________

Panda, panda, burning bright
In the forest of the night
What immortal hand or eye
Made you all black and white and roly-poly like that?


(in reply to frazzle)
Profile   Post #: 22
RE: smoking versus obedience!! - 7/12/2009 12:56:17 PM   
xiam


Posts: 148
Joined: 7/1/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: VampiresLair
Threats of punishment add to stress. Stress increases the likelihood that you will smoke. So, realistically, the more he threatens to punish you the less likely it is to be effective...


Ha!  My Master and i were just talking about all this.  We will be picking date for me to quit soon.  For me, threat of punishment or "tough love" is just plain discouraging.  I need support.  I need understanding.  I need forgiveness.  I've been a smoker for more than half my life, and i don't expect for it to be even remotely easy.

quote:


ORIGINAL: Bruticus
....3. Use BDSM to your advantage. This is just theory on my part, but I think that you and your Master have options available to you that vanilla folks wouldn't consider.


YES!  It's a hell of a lot more fun to think i'm doing this as part of our dynamic than because it's a bad habit.  Making him proud of me is the greatest motivator of all.

Good luck to everyone working through this!

(in reply to VampiresLair)
Profile   Post #: 23
RE: smoking versus obedience!! - 7/12/2009 1:10:47 PM   
LaTigresse


Posts: 26123
Joined: 1/15/2006
Status: offline 		I quit smoking almost twenty years ago. If I can do it, anyone can do it. I will not have a smoker in my house. Any potential sub/slave that smokes, and wants to belong to me, had better resign themself to quitting first.

_____________________________

My twisted, self deprecating, sense of humour, finds alot to laugh about, in your lack of one!

Just because you are well educated, articulate, and can use big, fancy words, properly........does not mean you are right!

(in reply to frazzle)
Profile   Post #: 24
RE: smoking versus obedience!! - 7/12/2009 2:36:58 PM   
thishereboi


Posts: 14463
Joined: 6/19/2008
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: BossyShoeBitch


quote:

ORIGINAL: frazzle
Monday is my quit day.
I know in advance its highly unlikely.


That's the spirit!

quote:

Is punishing someone for not quitting an addiction reasonable???


I stopped talking to my mother 17 years ago because she wouldn't stop smoking.


quote:

i am trying, but threats dont over ride the need.


That's what my Mom said.


Then she died of lung cancer that had metastasized all over her body...17 years ago.





That is so sad and now you can't get those 17 years back. Maybe not speaking to her wasn't the best idea after all.

_____________________________

"Sweetie, you're wasting your gum" .. Albert


This here is the boi formerly known as orfunboi


(in reply to BossyShoeBitch)
Profile   Post #: 25
RE: smoking versus obedience!! - 7/12/2009 2:44:16 PM   
agirl


Posts: 4530
Joined: 6/14/2004
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: BossyShoeBitch


quote:

ORIGINAL: frazzle
Monday is my quit day.
I know in advance its highly unlikely.


That's the spirit!

quote:

Is punishing someone for not quitting an addiction reasonable???


I stopped talking to my mother 17 years ago because she wouldn't stop smoking.


quote:

i am trying, but threats dont over ride the need.


That's what my Mom said.


Then she died of lung cancer that had metastasized all over her body...17 years ago.





I find that a freaky idea.

Not the dying....... but the *stopped talking to my mother 17 years ago because she wouldn't stop smoking.*

Very alien.

agirl

(in reply to BossyShoeBitch)
Profile   Post #: 26
RE: smoking versus obedience!! - 7/12/2009 3:18:32 PM   
ThatDamnedPanda


Posts: 6060
Joined: 1/26/2009
Status: offline 		I'm thinking maybe that was her way of saying that she hasn't been able to speak to her mother for 17 years because her mother died of cancer 17 years ago. Not certain, but that's just the way I read it. 

_____________________________

Panda, panda, burning bright
In the forest of the night
What immortal hand or eye
Made you all black and white and roly-poly like that?


(in reply to agirl)
Profile   Post #: 27
RE: smoking versus obedience!! - 7/12/2009 3:19:54 PM   
RedMagic1


Posts: 6470
Joined: 5/10/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: ThatDamnedPanda

I'm thinking maybe that was her way of saying that she hasn't been able to speak to her mother for 17 years because her mother died of cancer 17 years ago. Not certain, but that's just the way I read it. 

That's right.  thishereboi and agirl are reading it wrong.  BSB's mother died 17 years ago.  That's when they stopped talking.


_____________________________

Not with envy, not with a twisted heart, shall you feel superior, or go about boasting. Rather in goodness by action make true your song and your word. Thus you shall be highly regarded, and able to live in peace with all others.
- 15th century Aztec

(in reply to ThatDamnedPanda)
Profile   Post #: 28
RE: smoking versus obedience!! - 7/12/2009 3:45:35 PM   
thishereboi


Posts: 14463
Joined: 6/19/2008
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: RedMagic1

quote:

ORIGINAL: ThatDamnedPanda

I'm thinking maybe that was her way of saying that she hasn't been able to speak to her mother for 17 years because her mother died of cancer 17 years ago. Not certain, but that's just the way I read it. 

That's right.  thishereboi and agirl are reading it wrong.  BSB's mother died 17 years ago.  That's when they stopped talking.



If that is the case then she didn't stop talking to her because she wouldn't quit smoking, she stopped talking to her because she was dead. Still sad though.

_____________________________

"Sweetie, you're wasting your gum" .. Albert


This here is the boi formerly known as orfunboi


(in reply to RedMagic1)
Profile   Post #: 29
RE: smoking versus obedience!! - 7/12/2009 4:27:51 PM   
BossyShoeBitch


Posts: 3931
Joined: 1/13/2007
From: South Florida
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: thishereboi

quote:

ORIGINAL: BossyShoeBitch


quote:

ORIGINAL: frazzle
Monday is my quit day.
I know in advance its highly unlikely.


That's the spirit!

quote:

Is punishing someone for not quitting an addiction reasonable???


I stopped talking to my mother 17 years ago because she wouldn't stop smoking.


quote:

i am trying, but threats dont over ride the need.


That's what my Mom said.


Then she died of lung cancer that had metastasized all over her body...17 years ago.





That is so sad and now you can't get those 17 years back. Maybe not speaking to her wasn't the best idea after all.


I stopped speaking to her because she DIED, I never really stopped speaking to her. I still speak to her everyday. A few years ago she started answering me, sort of in the form of a messenger. But that's for another thread.

< Message edited by BossyShoeBitch -- 7/12/2009 4:29:07 PM >

_____________________________

A clever man can get out of situations a wise man never gets into...
A pessimist sees the difficulty in every opportunity; an optimist sees the opportunity in every difficulty.

(in reply to thishereboi)
Profile   Post #: 30
RE: smoking versus obedience!! - 7/13/2009 3:07:03 AM   
agirl


Posts: 4530
Joined: 6/14/2004
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: BossyShoeBitch

quote:

ORIGINAL: thishereboi

quote:

ORIGINAL: BossyShoeBitch


quote:

ORIGINAL: frazzle
Monday is my quit day.
I know in advance its highly unlikely.


That's the spirit!

quote:

Is punishing someone for not quitting an addiction reasonable???


I stopped talking to my mother 17 years ago because she wouldn't stop smoking.


quote:

i am trying, but threats dont over ride the need.


That's what my Mom said.


Then she died of lung cancer that had metastasized all over her body...17 years ago.





That is so sad and now you can't get those 17 years back. Maybe not speaking to her wasn't the best idea after all.


I stopped speaking to her because she DIED, I never really stopped speaking to her. I still speak to her everyday. A few years ago she started answering me, sort of in the form of a messenger. But that's for another thread.


I understand now........slaps head.

agirl


(in reply to BossyShoeBitch)
Profile   Post #: 31
RE: smoking versus obedience!! - 7/13/2009 3:56:03 AM   
sirsholly


Posts: 42360
Joined: 9/7/2007
From: Quietville
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: ranja

Just stop smoking and stop moaning about it!
gee...there ya go. And our society has medications, clinics, and therapists to help others with the problems of addiction.

All they had to do was ask you!!!!




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(in reply to ranja)
Profile   Post #: 32
RE: smoking versus obedience!! - 7/13/2009 8:26:51 AM   
maia09


Posts: 113
Joined: 6/10/2009
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: frazzle

I would like to quit smoking.

I'm trying my best, but the cutting down etc is being done at a rate He deems doable. He has never smoked.

I have cut it by half in the last month, its that next step scares me to death.

Monday is my quit day.

I know in advance its highly unlikely.

Is punishing someone for not quitting an addiction reasonable??? i am trying, but threats dont over ride the need.




If the desire to quit is not strong enough in you, he can punish you all he wants, it ain't gonna make it happen. Smoking is an intense addiction. It will take everything you have to break the habit. It took me 6 months of craving. But i was determined not to give in. i wanted it - oh i wanted it, but there's the rub. We have to finally decide what we want more - to go on smoking, or to one day be free of it. That will only come by just not doing it, no matter what. i wish you the very best with this endeavor.


_____________________________

She reaches up, not for the apple, but for what causes it to be there.

"I will always be the virgin-prositute, the perverse angel, the two-faced sinister and saintly woman." - Anais Nin

Owned by Chairman


(in reply to frazzle)
Profile   Post #: 33
RE: smoking versus obedience!! - 7/13/2009 8:34:51 AM   
aubrianne


Posts: 1
Joined: 11/5/2006
Status: offline 		its hard to quit smoking i know for i am in the process of quittting myself my Master is helping me to quit it was my own decision to.. I decided one day i couldn't afford the price of the cigs and was tired of not feeling well. i recently had pancreitis ... i digress i went five days without one single cigarette, i was craving like a fiend, eating peanuts and mixed nuts whenever i craved a cigarette.. Yesterday Master and I went to Fanning Springs here in florida to swim in the crystline waters, lots of people were smoking.. i told him it was hard.. he understood and told me i could have one cigarette.. i felt like it was  a test at first til he reassured me it wasn't a test i did good going five days without. while i was smoking it i found it didnt satisfy me as it used to.. I felt nausious and dizzy.. aftr i finished smoking the cig i went home and relaxed i have yet to have another craving so am hoping that i will be able to manage better this time.. also another way to quit smoking is to stay away from others that do smoke as much as possible in the first ten days of quitting i read alos to take warm soaking bats and try fasting for three days drinking only water some have sid it helps them alot

(in reply to maia09)
Profile   Post #: 34
RE: smoking versus obedience!! - 7/13/2009 7:09:13 PM   
MidMichCowboy


Posts: 665
Joined: 3/23/2007
Status: offline 		My condolences on your loss. Being a parent, that was my motivation to quit. I did not want to expose my ummms to it or not be her for them over something that would have been my fault.

I'm sorry that you had to lose her in that way.



_____________________________

I want to capture your mind, your spirit, your soul, your body, your devotion and your love. Then, will I give you my heart.

(in reply to BossyShoeBitch)
Profile   Post #: 35
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